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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 20, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
HS Question by HS on Sep 20, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

I don't know how to start but things are not good in my life.

I lost my father 3 months back which still does not go out of my head.

I met a girl recently and developed some sort of feelings for her but she is not at all interested in me which made me more sad as I feel as I am just not good enough.

Due to my professional work I am not living with my family and their tensions extra.

I have zero friends who talk regularly to me or ask about me.

I have a thin body so people body shame me and it decreases my morale and confidence.

Profession is also not going as good I thought due to relationship issues with my manager.

Everything is making me more sad and lonely.

Please give me something to cheer. Don't want to live life like this.. I am writing this with a heavy heart.

Ans: Dear HS, I am truly sorry for your loss; the passing away of a loved one is never easy on anyone.

Now let’s focus on what you might be bothered by. See, if you are going to depend on the external environment to increase your confidence or self-esteem, then you are setting yourself up for a rude disappointment.

Your state of mind is your choice which is the one that dictates how you perceive the environment around you.

If you wake every morning feeling sorry for yourself, do you think you are going to perform well at work?

Shying away from a social life just because you are body shamed pushes you back into an unfavorable state of mind where you shut away even a few ‘good’ people.

Why deprive yourself of the little joys just because some people measure you by how you look?

What do you get by giving into that drama that these people have created?

More agony, I presume! And then the loop goes on and on…

Do check a few inspiring videos on how people have overcome body shaming and take a leaf out of it and start living for who you are; people start respecting you when you respect yourself first.

Well, romantic feelings sometimes may not be reciprocated; but you feel sad because you already are in a self-pity mode; what if your mind space was stronger?

A rejection from a girl, would have still been fine and would have been easy to move on.

Sorry, I need to be honest and show you the mirror, rather than just cheer you up. Get up, stand tall, show up. Show Up, no matter what!

Respect yourself for who you are…you are your best Ally…Now, I want you to dust yourself off of all the feelings that are not useful and Show Up and Take Charge…watch how things change…

Best wishes and simply Show Up…You can do this…

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 23, 2022

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Relationship
I am 29 years old. I work as a software engineer. During Covid time I broke up with my girlfriend and I feel very bad about it. She was just passing her time with me but I really loved her and I am now struggling to move on. I even had suicidal thoughts sometime back.I feel like nothing is happening in my life. I feel like I'm stuck in my past. Life is boring like hell, no interest in any activities.I have 7 years of experience but only getting paid 12 lakhs per annum, this also bothers me every time. Everyone I meet acts good with me only for their advantage. No one is available when I need them. None of my friends take me seriously.Any advice from you will be really helpful.
Ans:

Dear SR,

When you don’t value yourself, why expect anyone to value you?

Thinking of attempting to take your life just because of a failed relationship only means that your life is always in someone else’s hands.

Obviously, your earning capacity is the way it is as you are not working to your full potential.

How can you with the way you think about yourself!

Your life is important and it counts. Value it; love yourself more.

Indulge in some hobby and treat your friends the way you want them to treat you. And if you feel that people act good with you only to take advantage of you, ask yourself if you are giving them your full attention while you are with them.

Time to stop pitying yourself, smile a lot, reassure yourself that this moment is a new beginning and most importantly: Love yourself even more.

All the best!

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 07, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello, I am 41 working in it mnc. I did well in my career initially and then because of my carelessness and laid back attitude, I faltered and I am in a very depressive situation where I feel as complete failure who failed himself and his family. I am not sure how can I help myself come out of the situation. My wife is also worried and trying to cheer me up but it's not helping much. Please help how to come out of this and move ahead
Ans: Hello there!!
"The greatest success in not in never failing, but getting up every time you fail"!
It's time for you to get up and move!!
With the information you have given me, the conclusions I have drawn are that-
1. you are a person who is aware of what went wrong, this itself is a blessing. There are many who just move in life without being aware.
2. you are still working, you have a job at an MNC. That's good!! Had you been so bad as you are describing yourself, you would not be still working, so cheer up!!
3. you have a caring wife, she is trying to cheer you up .You are lucky.
4 . you are an intelligent man, hence you did well in your job initially

Now the way forward-
1. with so little information you have given me , I have listed 4 things you need to be grateful for. Every morning you'll count your blessings and write them down or say it aloud. You'll repeat this activity before going to sleep.
2. spend 20 mins walking amidst nature. Physical activity and spending time in nature is a must everyday. I am sure taking 20 mins in a day for this should be easy.
The above two activities will make your depressive mood run far away from you.

Next plan of action ,for you to move further in you career-
1. first and foremost forgive yourself for your carelessness and laid back attitude. Past is past ,forget it.
2. plan every action of yours with one leg in the future, is there a new skill set you need to learn or improve upon your Image, Soft skills , leadership skills , etc in order to have an edge over others. Think about it and learn new skills.
3. do not compare yourself with anyone, it's your journey at your own pace. Compare yourself with others if you feel inspired else do not compare.
4. you are just 41.... there is still a long life ahead. Don't beat yourself down for a few mistakes ...Just look ahead now...Look forward to a beautiful future with your family.

All the very best!!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11151 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 22, 2026

Money
If I want to withdraw 1.5 lac per month, which SWP is better and how much should I invest in it?
Ans: It is very good that you are planning SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) in advance. Planning monthly income properly helps protect your capital and gives stable cash flow.

To withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh per month, the correct SWP structure depends mainly on:

– your age
– investment horizon
– whether income is required lifelong or for limited years
– existing retirement corpus
– risk tolerance

Still, I will guide you with a practical structure that suits most long-term SWP income needs.

» How much investment is required to withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh per month

Normally, safe SWP withdrawal rate should be around:

– 6% yearly for very safe structure
– 7% yearly for balanced structure
– 8% yearly for growth-oriented structure

Based on this:

Approximate investment required:

– Conservative structure: around Rs 3 crore
– Balanced structure: around Rs 2.5 crore
– Growth-oriented structure: around Rs 2.25 crore

This allows income sustainability without early capital depletion.

If withdrawal period is limited (example 15 years), required corpus may be lower.

If income required lifelong, higher corpus is safer.

» Which mutual fund categories are best for SWP income

Best SWP income normally comes from a combination approach.

Ideal structure:

– 40% Multi asset allocation category fund
– 30% Balanced advantage category fund
– 20% Flexi cap category fund
– 10% Short duration debt category fund

This structure provides:

– income stability
– inflation protection
– market downside control
– long-term capital sustainability

Avoid using only pure equity category funds for SWP.

Avoid using only debt category funds also because inflation reduces value.

Combination approach works best.

» Why multi asset allocation category fund works well for SWP

This category invests across:

– equity
– debt
– gold

It adjusts allocation automatically and supports stable withdrawal planning.

Very suitable for retirement-style monthly income planning.

» Tax efficiency advantage of SWP

SWP is more tax-efficient compared to interest income.

Because:

– only capital gain portion is taxed
– equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– debt fund gains taxed as per income slab

So proper category selection improves post-tax income.

» How to structure SWP correctly

Better approach:

– keep 2 years withdrawal amount in short duration debt category fund
– keep remaining corpus in multi asset + balanced advantage category funds
– review once per year
– increase withdrawal gradually based on inflation

This protects income continuity during market corrections.

» Important preparation before starting SWP

Before starting SWP ensure:

– emergency fund available separately
– health insurance active
– no high-interest loans pending
– nominee details updated

These steps protect retirement income stability.

» Finally

To withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh monthly comfortably, target corpus should ideally be between Rs 2.25 crore and Rs 3 crore depending on risk level.

Use combination of multi asset, balanced advantage, flexi cap and short duration debt category funds instead of relying on a single category. This improves income stability and protects capital for long-term sustainability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 22, 2026

Career
Namaskar, My son has got 93.60 percentile in JEE mains 2026 with General rank 100144 and OBC NCL rank 32618. I request you to kindly guide me can he get admission in SGSITS, Indore in CSE / IT / ETC branch having MP domicile or any other better option as per your recommendation.
Ans: Govind Sir, With 93.60 percentile, CRL 1,00,144 and OBC-NCL rank 32,618 (MP domicile), your son should try both MP BE counselling and JoSAA. For SGSITS Indore, recent MP-counselling data show General home-state closing ranks around CSE 18,410, IT 37,589, ETC 48,484 in 2025, so CSE looks difficult, IT is borderline, and ETC appears the most realistic; OBC-MP quota may improve chances somewhat. For JoSAA, at OBC 32,618, expect mainly lower-demand branches in mid/lower NITs, IIITs and GFTIs, not CSE/IT in top institutes. My recommendation: SGSITS ETC/IT first, then good MP colleges like IET-DAVV/JEC, while keeping JoSAA + CSAB as backup. (I suggest you also cross-check the JoSAA opening and closing ranks data from the last 2–3 years before filling in the maximum number of your son’s preferred institutions and branches during counselling). ALL the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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