I have a daughter of 22 years old who has completed her degree in event management .but it looks she is not happy with her course. some time back my husband health was critical . She had entered into bad friends for a year where she couldn't complete her final year exam but she lied to us.when I kept on asking her .what she used to do in free time and she never worked she has told us so much lie now we are grappling with the situation in this period she started to smoke .Now even if she finds job.she will lie to us .iam really scared to send her abroad for studies.she will not attend the classes.. Whether we should get her married ,or find a job or study .As mother iam worried about her future iam at 60 and my husband health is not permitting take decision. But she smokes now also .when I tell her don't do it.you are a girl not a boy we have to get you married. Should we keep low at this time or should we advice her she is not a child anymore How do we go about this problem.please give us solutions .we love our daughter so much that her life should be settled before we die

Ans: Dear Nibedita,



I'm sorry to hear about the situation you're facing with your daughter. It's understandable to feel helpless and unsure about what to do next.

First and foremost, it's important to remember that your daughter is an adult, and ultimately, it's her decision on what choices she makes. However, as her parents, you can still offer support and guidance to help her make the best decisions for her well-being.

It's concerning to hear that your daughter is in an abusive relationship, and it's crucial to ensure that she understands the gravity of the situation. One option is to speak with a professional, such as a therapist or counselor, who can provide insight on how to approach the topic and offer guidance on how to support her.

Additionally, it may be helpful to reach out to organizations that specialize in supporting victims of domestic abuse. They can provide resources and advice on how to deal with the situation and can even offer assistance in finding a safe place for your daughter and her pets.

It's important to maintain open communication with your daughter and let her know that you're there for her, no matter what. Try to avoid blaming or shaming her for her choices, as this can further isolate her from seeking help. Instead, express your concern and offer to assist her in finding a solution that works for her.

Ultimately, it's essential to prioritize your daughter's safety and well-being, even if it means taking difficult steps such as seeking legal action or involving authorities.

Ans: The fear of failure during exams might be not letting her perform in the exam.
You can convince her and explain that it's not important how much she scores ,it's about evolving herself each day and do better than what she did previously.

Ans: This seems more like a mental health professional query than a career one. I will still try to address it as best as I can

First off, I would suggest you to seek professional help. Experiencing such symptoms may be indicative of mental health concerns that require assessment and treatment.

Secondly, Career is a secondary issue here. You need to understand that Mental health is an integral part of overall wellness.

If you're unsure how to proceed or if you're concerned about her safety, consider reaching out to a mental health crisis line or contacting a mental health professional for guidance. They can provide advice on how to approach the situation and help ensure she receives the support she needs.

Toll free number 1800-599-0019 can be called from any mobile or land line of any telecom network from any part of India.

https://pib.gov.in/PressReleasePage.aspx?PRID=1652240

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At 24, if she is still looking for validation from the external world to create her identity, she's again setting herself up for failure. If she still thinks that money, name and fame is what is going to earn her recognition from the society, she really needs a course that will change her mindset.
As parents, kindly call out such behavior that is messing with her mind. Talk therapy or advice from home isn't going to help anymore...she hasn't had much exposure of what the outside world is like...
Every stream of education brings with it many opportunities that can be explored!
My suggestion would be for her to be part of activities, communities and the like where she will be able to interact with different people from various backgrounds...Even volunteering opportunities can give good exposure...
Now, she may not be willing to do this as she finds comfort in what she is doing by shutting herself from the outside world...again 'CALL OUT' this behavior and that you as parents don't support her self-pity tirade. Also, as parents you can become part of any community or volunteering opportunity that 'shows' her that her parents are not just preaching to her but actually living it...
Just to reiterate, do not feel sorry for her; she will thrive on that sympathy...if you want to see a change in her, then it's time to shake things up so she knows that her parents mean business...remember, she is an adult...so, treat her as one!

Ans: Hi Mukesh,

I understand that you are feeling confused about your daughter's educational options, likely due to external influences. Don't worry—I can help clarify things for you. It seems that you are uncertain about which course she should pursue from the following options: MBBS (in other countries), engineering, or biotechnology.

Regarding MBBS: She has attempted the entrance exam twice but did not achieve satisfactory scores. Additionally, she seems to lose focus when you are not home, indicating that she might need more guidance and supervision. Therefore, I recommend against sending her abroad for MBBS, as she may face challenges such as cultural differences and adjusting to new foods. If your goal is for her to become a doctor, consider the BNYS program; there are many opportunities after completing the undergraduate degree (this is my first suggestion). Alternatively, she could retake the entrance exam. If she chooses this route, she should identify the subjects or chapters where she needs improvement and focus her studies there. Encourage her to develop study tips or tricks to enhance her performance (this is the second option).

If she is interested in engineering, her choice should be based on her marks and skills. If she opts for engineering, I suggest she enroll in a specialized course after her second year to align her skills with market demands (this is the third option).

For biotechnology, she should choose a medicine-related BTech program rather than one focused on botany, as the job market favors medicine-related fields more (this is the last option, but I am not recommending it strongly).

If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask.
WITH REGARDS
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.