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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |81 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 17, 2026

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 09, 2026Hindi
Relationship

I have been close friends with him for years, and I also know his girlfriend well through the same circle. Recently, during a weekend outing, the three of us went out for dinner. After it got late, my friend asked me to drop his girlfriend home on my bike since I live nearby and he had to go another way. While riding back, we talked casually about work, music, and life, and I noticed myself feeling unusually happy and emotionally connected in that moment. On another day, the same thing happened after a movie night, and each time I felt “chosen” or gifted, even though nothing inappropriate happened. Later, guilt hit me hard because I know she is my friend’s partner, and I don’t want to betray his trust or cross any line, yet my feelings keep growing silently. What is the right way to deal with these feelings?

Ans: Hello mam. Mam, your query is not clear. Kindly make it more clear so that I can understand it.
Regards

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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2023Hindi
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I am married working women .supportive hubby & my lovely children complete my family . I have been feeling intense infatuation with one of my married collegue.he used to help me a lot in office related issues. He used to complement me a lot for very normal things in front of others, not for looks but my working & way oc handling things. I was uneasy about that initially but started enjoying the attention later. But I dont know when I started liking him & Always wanted to be around ...He is younger to me and I am fully aware that nothing can happen between us. Than one day He bypassed me and for his own fault at work , he manipulated things and asked a favor for me from our team leader showing he is helping me...While in same situation when he was wrong I once sorted things on my own and did not make conplaint to team leader. Now i am feeling cheated and while working I have to see him everyday. What to do? How to remain and look normal. I feel weak in front of him and I dont want to keep any relation with him. But I still feel good & comfortable when he is around. its so weird.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation. It's not uncommon for people who have been married for a long time to feel this way. It mostly happens because the marriage is now part of your routine while your colleague seems like a breath of fresh air. But as you yourself mentioned, it is nothing but mere infatuation.

Do not beat yourself up for it. It will pass as all infatuations do. I suggest establishing some boundaries so that, even unintentionally, you do not cross them. Maintain a professional demeanor. But most importantly, take some time to reflect on what is missing from your marriage that led you to develop feelings for someone else. A loving and healthy marriage would keep you emotionally fulfilled enough to never look for happiness outside of it. Lastly, remind yourself why you fell in love with your husband and remember that love and commitment are not based on a mere choice; it is a conscious decision you make every day.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |657 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I have a huge crush on my boyfriend's father. He is actually his stepfather and pretty young, 42. I am 26 and every time we meet I feel like there is an emotional and romantic connection. I used to casually flirt with him and tell him that he looks handsome. My BF also knows that I secretly like his company. I don't have a mother-in-law so there is no threat or pressure. She passed away 2 years ago and acc to my BF, she'd married her business colleague so he can take care of the business they built together. Now I am confused about my feelings. I don't want to dismiss my feelngs. I have never felt this way before with anyone else.
Ans: Let’s first look at this with clarity and kindness toward yourself. Attraction is not always about wanting a relationship. Sometimes it comes from admiration, feeling seen, feeling emotionally understood, or being drawn to someone’s confidence, maturity, or presence. In your case, this man is older, emotionally steady, has life experience, and may treat you with warmth and respect. Those qualities can feel very powerful, especially if they are missing or inconsistent elsewhere in your life.
But there are three realities you cannot ignore.
First, he is your boyfriend’s father figure. That creates a permanent emotional and ethical boundary. Crossing it — even emotionally — would cause deep harm, not just to your boyfriend, but to the entire family system. Even if nothing “physical” ever happens, emotional closeness or flirting in this context is already risky.
Second, you are currently in a relationship. If you are emotionally drawn to someone else, especially someone so close to your partner, it’s a sign that something inside you needs attention. Either you are craving more emotional connection, validation, excitement, or security than you’re getting — or you are going through a phase of self-discovery where your needs are shifting. This is not about blaming you; it’s about understanding yourself honestly.
Third, the fact that he has not crossed boundaries and seems to remain appropriate is important. It suggests he understands the responsibility of his role. That’s something to respect, not test.
Right now, the healthiest thing you can do is create emotional distance and clear boundaries. That doesn’t mean being rude. It means no flirting, no special emotional sharing, no seeking private moments. Keep interactions polite, warm, and public. This protects you, your boyfriend, and your future.
You also need to gently turn inward and ask yourself:
What am I really feeling here? Is it attraction, or is it admiration? Is it romance, or is it emotional safety? Is there something missing in my relationship that I’m unconsciously trying to fill?
If you find that your feelings for your boyfriend are weakening, that’s something you owe yourself and him to explore honestly. It doesn’t mean you must break up immediately. It means you need clarity before continuing.
Please understand this: acting on these feelings — even slightly — would almost certainly lead to regret, guilt, and broken trust. What feels exciting now would become very painful later.
You don’t need to “dismiss” your feelings. You need to understand them, respect their message, and then choose wisely what to do with them.
Strong people are not those who never feel tempted. They are those who know when not to act on temptation.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11138 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Money
I'm an investor in India, 30% tax bracket under the new tax regime, with high risk tolerance. I am investing from 2017, invested amount is 22 lakhs, market value 25 lakhs. I have two financial goals — child's education (~7-year horizon) and retirement (~18-year horizon). Current SIP Portfolio I run a 5-fund core portfolio with a total SIP of ₹53,000/month. For the education goal, I have HDFC Nifty 50 Index Fund (₹5,000/month) and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap (₹15,000/month). For retirement, I have ICICI Nifty Next 50 Index (₹8,000/month), Motilal Oswal Midcap (₹15,000/month), and Nippon India Small Cap (₹10,000/month). Each fund is from a different AMC, which is a deliberate diversification choice. Other Investments I have a PPF account (opened 2015, ~₹10L corpus) maturing around 2030. I also hold NPS Tier 1 corpus which I plan to keep untouched until age 60 — I've stopped fresh NPS contributions since there's no additional deduction benefit under the new tax regime. What I'm Looking for advice on Is my current portfolio good for the long term and shall I continue the same Shall I take international exposure through navi nasdaq 100 FOF (Not taking due to tax complication) Shall I invest in gold for hedge Shall I stop my NPS Tier 1 SIP and reallocate 7k to my current portfolio, if yes then which funds I have two specific worries. First, Motilal Oswal Midcap had a fund manager change in July 2025 and runs a fairly concentrated portfolio at an elevated PE — I'm not sure if I should continue, reduce the SIP, or switch to another midcap fund. Second, Nippon India Small Cap has been closed for lumpsum investments since July 2023 due to its large AUM — I've been considering switching to Invesco India Small Cap (ranked #2/18 in the category, AUM ~₹9,700 Cr) but haven't acted on it yet. I'd like views on whether this switch makes sense and whether the timing matters or shall I continue in the same funds and folio. Would like the community's take on the above folio. Thanks.
Ans: You have built a thoughtful and disciplined portfolio since 2017. Managing two separate long-term goals with category allocation and SIP consistency shows strong planning maturity. Your SIP size, time horizon clarity, and asset diversification already place you ahead of many investors.

Let us review each part of your portfolio carefully and improve where required.

» Overall portfolio structure suitability for your two goals

Your goals:

– Child education (7-year horizon)
– Retirement (18-year horizon)

Your current structure separates these goals logically. This is a very good practice.

However one improvement is required.

Index category exposure is currently forming a meaningful portion of your education goal allocation. For a 7-year horizon, actively managed equity allocation generally works better than passive exposure because:

– index funds only mirror market returns
– they cannot reduce downside risk
– they cannot shift sectors when valuations are high
– they cannot select emerging growth companies early
– they cannot generate alpha during active market cycles

For a goal that is only 7 years away, downside protection and active allocation flexibility are important.

So replacing index category exposure gradually with flexi cap or large & midcap category exposure improves goal reliability.

» Suitability of your retirement portfolio allocation

Your retirement horizon is 18 years. This is ideal for:

– midcap category exposure
– small cap category exposure
– flexi cap category exposure

Your allocation toward growth categories supports wealth creation strongly.

So the structure for retirement is appropriate and can be continued with small refinements.

» Whether international exposure should be added

International diversification is useful but not mandatory.

Benefits:

– reduces India-only market risk
– provides exposure to global innovation sectors
– improves currency diversification

However concerns like taxation complexity and portfolio simplicity are valid.

Since your horizon is already supported by strong domestic diversification across market caps, international exposure may be added later gradually but is not essential immediately.

Priority should remain strengthening domestic active allocation first.

» Whether gold allocation should be added

Gold works as a stabiliser, not a return generator.

Gold helps:

– during equity corrections
– during inflation phases
– during global uncertainty periods

For long-term investors like you, allocation of 5% to 10% is sufficient.

It should not replace equity allocation but support it as a hedge layer.

» Whether stopping NPS Tier 1 SIP is a good decision

You mentioned no additional deduction benefit under new tax regime.

Still NPS Tier 1 has advantages:

– retirement discipline lock-in
– low-cost structure
– asset allocation flexibility
– additional pension-layer diversification

If retirement planning is already strong through mutual funds, redirecting the monthly amount into equity categories can improve flexibility.

If you reallocate that amount, better destinations are:

– flexi cap category fund
– large & midcap category fund

These improve balance inside your retirement bucket.

» Concern about midcap category fund manager change and concentration

Your observation is very practical and shows strong monitoring discipline.

Midcap category funds sometimes run concentrated portfolios. After a fund manager change:

– strategy continuity becomes uncertain
– stock selection pattern may change
– risk profile may shift temporarily

Instead of exiting immediately:

Better approach:

– continue SIP for now
– monitor performance for 6 to 12 months
– review portfolio churn pattern
– check consistency versus category average

Switch only if performance divergence becomes visible.

Immediate switching after manager change is usually not necessary.

» Concern about small cap category fund closure for lump sum investment

Closure for lump sum investment normally happens because:

– fund size becomes large
– liquidity management becomes difficult
– protection of existing investors becomes priority

This is not a negative signal.

It is actually a protection step taken by the fund house.

Switching to another small cap category fund only because of closure is not required.

However diversification across two small cap funds is sometimes useful if allocation size is high.

If small cap allocation already exceeds 10% to 15% of total portfolio, then avoid increasing exposure further.

Timing small cap switches rarely improves results.

Consistency matters more.

» Suggested refinements to improve goal achievement probability

Education goal bucket:

– gradually reduce index exposure
– increase flexi cap allocation
– add large & midcap category exposure
– shift partially toward hybrid allocation after 4 years remaining period

Retirement goal bucket:

– continue midcap allocation
– continue small cap allocation within limits
– increase flexi cap allocation gradually
– consider small gold allocation for hedge

NPS allocation decision:

– continue if discipline advantage required
or
– redirect toward flexi cap category fund if flexibility preferred

» Finally

Your portfolio structure is already strong and goal-aligned.

Only these improvements can increase success probability further:

– reduce index exposure in education goal bucket
– continue midcap exposure but monitor post manager-change consistency
– do not switch small cap fund only due to lump sum closure
– add small gold allocation as hedge
– optionally redirect NPS contribution into flexi cap or large & midcap category allocation for flexibility

With these refinements, your education and retirement goals remain well supported for long-term success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |720 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Currently , I am in 2nd year of my clg , btech CCE in MUJ .... Studies are fine. After my breakup with my first bf( 3 years back) it really shook me of as I got to know he cheated on me and I wasted my precious time thinking about him though I have overcame from this .... So I met this guy online .... We are from same clg but diff department... Class are on the same floor so we met a few times but that was also an eye contact or simple hi hello .... We started talking from 2nd sem .... And in 2nd-3rd sem it felt like he liked me but I wasn't ready. And he never brought this topic it was simply friendly banter or thoda bahut flirting and now from the starting of 4th sem things have changed like in his behaviour, way he used to talk, holding the convos ..it's like he's cutting me.... though I talked about this and he cleared like it's nothing like that but yeah many things are changed .... We dont talk like we used to , he seems non interested, late replies ... And here as soon as I started liking him he got off ... I even gave him slight hints but now it feels like I am desperate to talk it is making me feel clingy distracted that I can't just stop thinking about it ... It's becoming a hindrance in my studies . .. I feel like whenever I start to like someone that other person gets off like he's not interested it has happened a many of times .. it makes me feels o dumb and stupid like do I even have something that the other person would like me or even just stop being non interested or giving mixed signals
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how you are feeling and it is very normal to question yourself when you notice the pattern more than one time. But trust me, it is not you. Sometimes people have fleeting feelings for each other. It can also be that since the guy did not feel you reciprocate the same feeling, he moved on to protect his heart. Or some people with casual feelings just lose interest as soon as the chase is over. The reason does not matter; what matters here is that it's not your fault. This clingy, distracted feeling will pass soon. This is not love; you just miss feeling important to someone and it's completely normal. Don't think of this as a loss. He was never the right person for you to begin with if he wants to cut you off suddenly. You deserve to be loved completely, not just when it's convenient for them.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |81 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I feel invisible in my own marriage. I’m 36 now, and we are married for 8 years with a beautiful daughter. My wife is a great mother, homemaker and manages everything at home, but we have nothing in common. We haven’t had a real conversation or emotional connection in years. Recently, I got emotionally attached to a senior female colleague who actually listened to me. We went out for coffee and there was an instant emotional connection. I don't feel guilty but I am confused. Is this how emotional affairs begin in long-term marriages? Is it wrong to choose a partner who you are emotionally compatible with?
Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health. Marriage is a long term association in which slowly and slowly we get to know about the positives and negatives of a person. We all have two sides. One is romantic and other is the one who handles all the responsibility. Isn't it good that your wife responsibly handles all the household chores along with your kids and takes care of your needs too. May be she is also lost somewhere and is burdened under all responsibilities. I understand that you may have problems and you may not feel the emotional connection between you too.
There are ways to sort out this. Find some common interest that you both enjoy and do such activities. You may talk with your wife at the end of the day and ask her about her day, you can share about your day. You can discuss your future plans.
In previous times extra marital affairs were very less. Because people used to work with each other and work on each other. They never used to give up on each other. That's why the relationships used to last for more than 50 years even.
You can talk to your colleague as a friend. Friends do listen to each other and have emotional connect but having more than that would not be advisable.
I hope you get some light in your mind.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1792 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I'm a 53 year old married man living with two sons. In 2020, my wife found that I am having an affair and left for her parent's place. We were never compatible and having children was her choice. I had told her before our marriage that I am not the husband she was hoping me to be. She chose to be a homemaker and insisted on having kids. Before marriage, I had also mentioned to her that I am seeing someone who was going through her own separation, but she said she wanted to marry me for her own freedom. Now she's living with her parents and we have no contact whatsover. We haven't spoken in all these years but she doesn't want to consent to divorce. I have singlehandedly taken care of my sons in these 6 years. She speaks to her sons when they are outside, and they told me she wants them to stay with me because she doesn't want to work or provide for them. I am okay to provide alimony but she doesn't want to sign the divorce papers. My lawyer has tried to speak with her but she wants to stay married so that I can suffer. What kind of punishment is this? What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do about it? If she does not want a divorce and this is a vengeance thing for your affair, the only thing you can do is speak with her. All the stuff that went South needs to be addressed and YES, there will be a point in time where she will expect you apologize. Yes, you did mention to her about how you view marriage BUT you still went ahead and married and had had kids as well. As far as she is concerned, she always was in an ideal marriage while you had your definition for it and both of you lived the relationship in your own ways.
The best is to appeal to her better sense and hope that someday she will see that it is better to separate than stick together.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1792 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My parents are against my divorce. I am married for 17 years but we have been living as stranger for the past 7 years. We had an arranged marriage and we don't get along. Initially I thought it was because we had a 6 year age gap. But most days, it has been rough. No respect from in-laws, constant arguments and fighting. Husband wanted me to stay away for some time but I realised he is just finding grounds for divorce from my end. He doesn't want to give alimony and wants full custody of our 14 year old son. I have mortgaged my gold to buy this 3bhk house but he dismisses my contribution because the house is in his mother's name. She is still alive. My mental peace is destroyed. But i want to do the right thing for us and my son. Anu mam, do you think I should live separate and give up my rights to this house and my son? If he files for divorce will he have a better advantage than me? Please guide what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you should make the marriage work or live separately is a decision that is yours to make; what I can suggest is to actually understand and become aware as to what you want in life.
If marriage was always an important thing, then maybe some work in that direction can help which means you may have to as a couple set aside differences and work as a unit to put the marriage back together. This also will require your husband to cooperate and view it as important as you do. So, have a conversation with him without it leading into an argument.
Now, if you choose to go separate how and what will be an advantage is something that only a lawyer will be able to guide you on.
So, as a first step become aware about whether you view marriage as an important structure in your life or not; the rest of the steps will follow from this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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