My boyfriend tells me he might want to go back and be friends again because he doesn’t feel a different kind of ‘love’ when he is dating me now. What should I do?

Ans: Hi. Thank you for writing in.

I can understand that you feel shocked and unsure about how to react when a close friend suddenly confesses his feelings, especially when you don't reciprocate them.

Here are some steps you can consider:

1. Have an honest conversation with A

It's important to communicate your feelings clearly to A. While avoiding him or ignoring his messages may seem easier, it can prolong the tension and create unnecessary hurt. Choose a quiet place where you can talk freely and avoid distractions.

Express your appreciation for his friendship and honesty. Explain that you value him as a friend but don't have romantic feelings for him. Be clear and direct about your desire not to be in a relationship at this time.

Acknowledge that things might feel different after this conversation but emphasise your desire to maintain the friendship if possible. Be open to hearing his perspective as well.

2. Set boundaries

If A's behaviour makes you uncomfortable or gives you mixed signals, politely but firmly set boundaries. This could involve reducing one-on-one time and being direct about topics you're not comfortable discussing.

3. Allow time and space

Processing emotional situations takes time. Both you and A need space to adjust to the changed dynamic. Give yourselves the space to reflect and understand your own feelings.

4. Seek support

Talking to a trusted friend or family member can help you navigate this complex situation and process your emotions.

True friendship can sometimes withstand difficult conversations and honest communication. While the dynamics might change, it's possible to maintain a respectful and supportive friendship.

Ans: His feeling won't change. If you want to keep it casual, carry on, otherwise move on

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is great that you have found someone you adore. Also, it's amazing of you to give him the space to deal with his issues at his own pace. Having said that, I want to remind you to take care of your own needs too. If you ever feel like you are being dragged without any commitment and that bothers you, you should communicate it to him. And if he still does not want to label your relationship, it is okay to reconsider it. While he is not wrong to need time, you are not wrong to want clarity.

Right now what you can do is sit with him and have a clear discussion. Express your concerns. Let him know that you are concerned about where this relationship is going or you are confused about what you two are to each other. Point out how cooperative you have been with him and ask him to give you a little more clarity because you deserve it. Saying that you will be the one when he is ready can sometimes seem like he is keeping you on the hook without actually intending to get serious. Have the talk. It might be tough but it's necessary.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Soniya,
Simple, you don't marry someone who says that he is in love with you...Would you want to deal with any more surprises/shocks from him after marriage. You certainly deserve someone who loves, values and respect you and not someone who is doing you a favor, right?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is difficult for me to answer this- what exactly happened between the two of you? Did you part ways on good terms or bad? Did you break up or just had a fight? Did you do something unforgivable that you think he might not love you again? Did he show signs that he has moved on or doesn’t feel the same way for you anymore? Every one of these pieces of information is important. If you do not feel comfortable disclosing all these, please ask yourself the same questions and answer honestly. I am sure you’ll figure out whether or not he will love you again like before.

Hope this helps.