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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 16, 2024

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I’m 36 year old female, I have fallen in love with a friend, we are compatible on all levels. Physically as well as mentally attracted to each other. But he says he doesn’t have those feelings for me. What should I do ? Should I continue talking to him as a friend in hopes that his feelings will change in the future or should I break contact and move on with my life ? What should

Ans: His feeling won't change. If you want to keep it casual, carry on, otherwise move on

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Rishta

Rishta Guru  | Answer  |Ask -

Rishta Guru - Answered on Feb 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My friend, let’s call him A, and I have been very, very good friends for seven years now. Suddenly, one day, he told me he loves me. I was shocked. I did not know how to react and I walked away. It has been a week and we haven’t spoken to each other; rather, I haven’t spoken to him though he smiles at me whenever we see each other in college. He has messaged me but I have not acknowledged it. He said it’s okay if I do not want a relationship, we can be friends. He’s a really great guy, one of the nicest people I have met. I am not ready for a relationship with anyone and definitely not with him. There are things I want to do, a career to achieve, before I think about a relationship. But he’s a great friend, one of my best buddies but I don’t love him like that and I don’t think I ever will. What should I do? I am very unhappy. I feel that if we go back to being friends things will never be the same again.
Ans: Hi. Thank you for writing in.

I can understand that you feel shocked and unsure about how to react when a close friend suddenly confesses his feelings, especially when you don't reciprocate them.

Here are some steps you can consider:

1. Have an honest conversation with A

It's important to communicate your feelings clearly to A. While avoiding him or ignoring his messages may seem easier, it can prolong the tension and create unnecessary hurt. Choose a quiet place where you can talk freely and avoid distractions.

Express your appreciation for his friendship and honesty. Explain that you value him as a friend but don't have romantic feelings for him. Be clear and direct about your desire not to be in a relationship at this time.

Acknowledge that things might feel different after this conversation but emphasise your desire to maintain the friendship if possible. Be open to hearing his perspective as well.

2. Set boundaries

If A's behaviour makes you uncomfortable or gives you mixed signals, politely but firmly set boundaries. This could involve reducing one-on-one time and being direct about topics you're not comfortable discussing.

3. Allow time and space

Processing emotional situations takes time. Both you and A need space to adjust to the changed dynamic. Give yourselves the space to reflect and understand your own feelings.

4. Seek support

Talking to a trusted friend or family member can help you navigate this complex situation and process your emotions.

True friendship can sometimes withstand difficult conversations and honest communication. While the dynamics might change, it's possible to maintain a respectful and supportive friendship.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi. I am female. I got attracted to this male. But it is not that much enough to fall in love. My friends thought that we will make a good pair. They kinda told me that he was in love with me for past one year. Due to the workplace he didnt reciprocate and to the close dates of my resignation due to my friends i told him that we can talk like a friends and we have to go with the flow. As of now we are talking and he is good. But still i am in dilemma. Due to my fear i told him that we wont work out and i stopped the conversation. But after some days he iniated the conversation and started to develop like a general talk. Later i told him that i liked him partially but not fully. He said that he will wait till i become comfortable. I dont have the oppurtunity to go out with him we are completely in chatting only. Sometimes i feel happy to chat with him but sometimes i dont feel anything i just feel numb. This is the first time for me in all the stuff. I told about this to my brother he didnt liked him. He know about my msgs and everything. But sometimes i think that i need better person than him but sometimes i need him. So what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Seems like you are not quite in love with this person. Not everyone experiences love at first sight. Some love stories grow over time. You can try spending some more time with him and see where it goes. But if you are not satisfied with how strongly you feel for him or if you continue to feel that you deserve better, I strongly recommend giving it a thought. You don't want to settle for less out of peer pressure. And it would not be right to drag him and give him hope, especially since he has feelings for you.

There is no need to rush. Take your time. Think about it with a clear mind and make a choice.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I have a online friend of over 3 years now. We were very good friends for 2 years but he always showed his interest in me indirectly which I always ignored because A he was going good in his career, his caste was different, and that I was still unclear about my career, including I was just overcoming from a previous 3 month dating. My friend also came to meet me twice in my city but I didn't meet him. Later, after nearly 2 years, I asked him how he was to which he saw text and replied after a day because he was too busy in work. Upon saying that I was curious he teased me whether he was my boyfriend and I got angry on him. He called to mend up after 8-10 days, I didn't respond and he never called again. After almost 10 months, I texted him, we immediately connected, felt emotional, I was about to confess, he realised this and told me he was in a casual dating phase with his junior for one month, had kiss, no further intimacy. But he constantly had feelings for me. I told him it was always him and I never thought about any other man. He regretted and felt that he in a way cheated on me, but I assured him that we were not committed, and he didn't know about my feelings. Now I am stuck what to do. We are yet to meet in September this year. He calls me, makes me laugh, but sometimes I just miss him a lot and need his emotional availability to address my thoughts and doubts about us. All he has to say is that I like you and I love you. I don't understand he is the samne old friend who used to understand me without me saying a word. Now doens't want to undo knots in my heart. Even though he is not a cheater, mature, and loving guy, I am not feeling the same as before. I cried for the first time because of him in 3 years only the day he told about he girl. I have always felt calm with this guy but now, I am doubtful.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it must be frustrating and confusing, but I am sure once you meet in person, you will have more clarity. Make sure to tell him how you feel and about your concerns. And ask any doubts you have in your mind about his intentions. It is the perfect opportunity to connect and clear your concerns.
Best wishes.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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