Hi, I have a sort of boyfriend. He tells me he loves me but is holding back because of past trauma and stuff going on in his life. We have had great chemistry too sexually and he's pretty attentive but defers when I talk about relationship. He also tells me that whenever he is ready it will be me. I don't know what to do. Please advise.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is great that you have found someone you adore. Also, it's amazing of you to give him the space to deal with his issues at his own pace. Having said that, I want to remind you to take care of your own needs too. If you ever feel like you are being dragged without any commitment and that bothers you, you should communicate it to him. And if he still does not want to label your relationship, it is okay to reconsider it. While he is not wrong to need time, you are not wrong to want clarity.

Right now what you can do is sit with him and have a clear discussion. Express your concerns. Let him know that you are concerned about where this relationship is going or you are confused about what you two are to each other. Point out how cooperative you have been with him and ask him to give you a little more clarity because you deserve it. Saying that you will be the one when he is ready can sometimes seem like he is keeping you on the hook without actually intending to get serious. Have the talk. It might be tough but it's necessary.

Best Wishes!