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Engaged Woman: Dealing with Family Conflict and Stubborn Fiancé

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi mam. I have a bf of 7 yrs and we decided to marry. My bf is very nice person at heart. His family is okay with me because he insisted on marrying me. But one time he had a fight with my brother and he made a mess and my family kinda had bad impression on him. He thinks that he has not done anything wrong and my family is not accepting him especially my dad. My dad is expecting him to talk to him and convince him but my bf is strong headed and he is not okay with convincing my dad. I am crushed in between I don't want to lose him. I don't know what to do.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there's so much of ego at this stage before marriage, try and imagine how it will be after marriage. What if he prevents you from interacting with your family because of the fight that he and your brother had?
It is understandable to be upset or angry for a while, but when a person holds onto to that anger and it starts to destroy relationships, please be watchful of it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1350 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 02, 2024

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Hello maa’m!! am in love with my boyfriend since 18 years. I waited till he gets his first job to tell my parents abut him. When the time came we both informed in our family that we want to get married. His father said yes initially and asked my family to meet at a common place. Later once I family agreed and came and called to inform his family, his mother denied saying his father is against this marriage. My parents called my boyfriend and asked whether he wants to marry me without his father approval and he said obviously!!! Why wouldn’t I? Then me and my boyfriend set a date and informed both our family that we are getting married on this date on july. My family has been always supportive and they support me here as well. But his family reacted differently saying we can’t allow you to marry on this date as this month is his birth month (some silly excuses) and they informed we can assure you we will get you married to your girlfriend in November or December. That time my boyfriend also agreed with his mother knowing that all wedding venues were booked and I have paid some kind of advance amount as well. And NOW!! My family went wild over him saying howcome he called of this marriage?? My boyfriend is asking me please give me a second chance that I will convince my parents to marry you in November or December. If they disagree i will move out and marry you only. How can I trust him this time? SHOULD I?
Ans: Dear Suwon,
When someone does not keep their word, trusting them becomes difficult, isn't it?
Maybe they had their reasons for canceling and pushing the wedding to a later date, but that could have been done taking your parents' into confidence. It shows a lack of empathy as to how much work the girls' side would have put in to pull off something.
Anyway, I am sure this question has crossed your mind as well...are they playing this game as the parents are still not keen on getting their son married to you?
You really must sit down and talk to your boyfriend; this kind of influence on him and he will keep oscillating back and forth like a pendulum...
Next step, have both the sets of parents talk to one another and clarify whatever is going on on their minds. The boys' side intentions become clear to your parents and they will be able to give you a clearer picture as well.
So, before you jump around to do anything, please talk to your boyfriend first and then have your parents talk to his and bring clarity ti the entire situation, after which decisions will be well-thought out and you will also be sure of the next steps to take. You can trust him only and only if he comes clean and is truthful about what is going on...So, ask and ask till you know what you want to know.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |450 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
m in love with my boyfriend since 18 years. I waited till he gets his first job to tell my parents abut him. When the time came we both informed in our family that we want to get married. His father said yes initially and asked my family to meet at a common place. Later once I family agreed and came and called to inform his family, his mother denied saying his father is against this marriage. My parents called my boyfriend and asked whether he wants to marry me without his father approval and he said obviously!!! Why wouldn’t I? Then me and my boyfriend set a date and informed both our family that we are getting married on this date on july. My family has been always supportive and they support me here as well. But his family reacted differently saying we can’t allow you to marry on this date as this month is his birth month (some silly excuses) and they informed we can assure you we will get you married to your girlfriend in November or December. That time my boyfriend also agreed with his mother knowing that all wedding venues were booked and I have paid some kind of advance amount as well. And NOW!! My family went wild over him saying howcome he called of this marriage?? My boyfriend is asking me please give me a second chance that I will convince my parents to marry you in November or December. If they disagree i will move out and marry you only. How can I trust him this time? SHOULD I?
Ans: Dear Suwon,

I understand you are in a difficult situation and trusting someone once they have broken it is difficult. I also understand your parent's concern. I am sure you do too. Now, the real question is, do you want to give him another chance? I know he broke your trust by moving the dates suddenly, but maybe let's try to find out why he did it.

You have been with him for a long time. You should have some clue about the type of person he is; it is totally up to you to decide whether you want to give him another chance or move on with your life. Neither would be a wrong choice. But it should be your choice. Look at the pros and cons. All things he got right to date and the wrongs he did too. Weigh them against each other and by the end of it, you should have some clarity.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Milind Vadjikar  |741 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

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What happens when a Mutual Fund company shuts down / gets sold off?
Ans: Hello;

If a mutual fund company gets sold or fails, the process is prescribed by SEBI:

In case MF company is Sold,
The new fund house may:
1. Continue the scheme with a new name and management.

2. Merge the scheme with similar funds and offer investors the option to exit without any exit load.

In case MF company shuts down,
The fund house will:
1. Pay out investors based on the fund's last recorded Net Asset Value (NAV) and the number of units the investor holds, after deducting expenses.

2. If the company is not in a position to do so then SEBI may liquidate the funds assets and distribute the proceeds to unit holders.

It is also pertinent to note that mutual fund regulation in India is one of the most stringent and hence best, from investor's point of view, globally.

This is not just in theory. We have seen how the Franklin Templeton abrupt closure of debt funds was handled with surgical precision, by SEBI, with no loss to unitholders.


Skin in the game regulation mandates that 20% salary of key mutual fund personnel and fund managers is paid in terms of units of their funds with a 3 year lock-in.

The stocks and bonds purchased by the AMC for the fund are held by a custodian, appointed by the trust that administers the fund.

The trust engages into a investment management agreement with the AMC for managing the fund as per their mandate and within regulatory guidelines.

Registrar and Transfer Agents handle the investor registration,kyc, maintaining records, providing account and tax statements etc.

Happy Investing;
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |450 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, my wife is Ugandan and I’m of English national, 30 years old and she’s 26, we met nearly a year ago and got married in uk with some of her friends and small family. We haven’t done kuchala (not sure if that’s correct spelling) yet and I’m feeling anxious for when the time comes. She said her family will kneel when they greet me and being white this is already stinging my moral (due to history). I also talked about moving in together before the meet the parents happen however she says she’s rather move in after? Currently this could take two years before going to Uganda, how should I proceed without overstepping her cultural beliefs as after all we are married and by my culture we should already be living together
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very nice of you to be so considerate and sensitive while handling these cultural nuances. Let's discuss the kneeling tradition. It's a sign of respect and it's deeply rooted in Ugandan culture. While I understand your point of view, you also have to remember that it can have significant meaning to her and her family. I suggest you politely express your feelings and let her know why it is uncomfortable for you to see her family kneel. When you explain, mention how much her culture means to you as well. I am sure both of you can communicate and come to a compromise that makes you both happy. Just in case, they persist in following the ritual, just look at it as a gesture of love and respect and not submission.

About the moving in together part, in certain parts of the world, couples living together before the traditional wedding is not considered respectful. But since you are already married, you can try explaining to your wife how the living situation does not go against her cultural expectations. But if it is a really big deal for her and her family, consider seeing it from her perspective.

Communication is everything here. Look at every problem as a team; it's not your problem vs her problem. It's both of you vs the problems.

I hope this helps

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1088 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 03, 2024

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I have received a job offer from Siecorp ,a Singapore based company though my posting would be at my hometown . They have asked me to submit all credentials related to education & job experiences which is quite normal but they have asked the following documents also which they said would help me to arrange through some agent by payment & the same would be reimbursed during first month of employment . Earlier also another overseas company asked for the same & I denied to make payment before having the job in hand . 1. Construction Health and Safety Technician (CHST) – Compulsory 2. OSHA Safety Certificate – Compulsory 3. Safety Trained Supervisor (STS) – Non-Compulsory Kindly advise whether these certificates are really required to be submitted to join any foreign company or any sort of cheating business regards,
Ans: Hello Bipradas.
From your query, it is clear that you have offered by job by a Singapore-based company and they are giving you a posting in your home town. You did not mention anything about the work culture of the company. It simply indicates that you are supposed to work from home which is always related to computers. I think there is no harm in producing the required documents through an agent if they are offering you a handsome salary. The requirement for documents differs from company to company. There is no harm in submitting the mentioned documents. If have fear in your mind, then please go through the profile of the company in detail before submitting the documents. There are many ways to check the authenticity of the company. There are some chances of cheating, but everybody is not indulged in the same category. But take the steps with utmost precaution.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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