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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1162 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 22, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu...I was in relationship with a girl who is much younger [14yrs] than me and I started loving her. We met sometimes back in 2017 like a stranger and then from June 2022, had a deep love and physical relation with her. Initially she showed off friendship, Love and then she only proposed to get physical and started demanding money every time. In the last 2 years almost 3 Lakhs have given her and suddenly I stopped giving her money being realized that she is cheating on me. She is beautiful & smart and that's the reason I started loving her as stranger. Off late , she told me having break up with her EX whom she had in relationship for 3 years. Now in Feb 14th Feb , she got court marriage with someone and now living somewhere in Hyderabad. I am married and having daughters. When I asked for my money I gave her , she is straight way denying and now she couldn't recognize who I am. She has blocked me from WhatsApp & Facebook and could not answer my text. She threatened me last week that If I send her text she will share it with my daughter on Facebook. I have arranged some of her friends nos. and facebook friends details. I am very sad and depressed remembering all the times spent with this girl for the last 3 Months. Please suggest me if I tell all these to her friends??? or what should I do ??? It is easy to forget, you will suggest ..but very difficult for me as I am very depressed now. I have all chats details with her and her Father address also. Should you suggest If I tell her fake / fraud face to her friend & family?? Please suggest! Thanks !

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, I haven't even begun to say anything. You can choose to continue with her but how are you going to be sure of the fact that she is not using you.
She's going back and forth and using push and pull which keeps you engaged and then pushes you away! Plus you are married and so is she and then she threatens you. What more proof do you want that she can bring on a lot of trouble? Do you need to see it written on a billboard for you to believe? Stay away from exposing her as she can do the same and then it gets ugly...move on...find a purpose that makes you happy and shift focus from being used to being useful...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - May 27, 2024 | Answered on May 27, 2024
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Thanks ...!!!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are welcome!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

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Hello Sir or Madam. Please keep me as anonymous only. Let me tell my story. I am 29 now. Work for an MNC for the past six years. From middle class family with big circle. Before going to speak out on my problem, let me tell my nature, how I was brought up, studies and attitude. Since we are middle class family with no financial crisis, I never seen ups and downs in Life accordingly. In the case of studies, I was topper at all levels of education till MBA from reputed institute. I was like love is trash n waste of time. When I used to hear all love stories, I used to feel pity on them. But I did maintain very good relationship with many, many girls (not GF type). But now I am going through the hell just because of one girl whom I was forcibly loved her and later I addicted to her with true love. During COVID I had to go WFH for two years. She visited her granny’s house and stayed back for few weeks. They live in Bangalore. I have never seen her face or noticed her during the time when she stayed. But she noticed, observed and enquired about me. So once she left to Bangalore, she sent FB request and I accepted. Immediately we have exchanged numbers and started texting ‘n’ talking. Initially I rejected her since she is eight years junior to me. Later she emotionally told once as she lost her father very recently and she just don’t want to go into depression again if I reject her. I got convinced and started loving truly. I replaced her father in her life which she used to tell. One day, she got caught by her brother while she was on call with me. Since we belong to different castes, they rejected me. She got house arrested. There was no connection between us. First time in life I fell into depression. I lost my job after just three weeks when she got separated from me. I was unable to speak anyone in the world. My family ‘n’ circle was afraid as I may do harm to myself for her. On December 16, 2021, I tried to commit suicide by writing a letter in laptop to her telling how I was missing her ‘n’ needed her. Took print and left to railway track to die. I took alcohol and was on the track. Someone rescued me and took me to hometown from Bangalore with PAN card address which was in my purse. Every day I was losing hope on my life. Finally I got call from her number in the first week of Jan. I was happy and cried like anything with her on call. She told that she would never leave me alone whatever happens ‘n’ who ever tries to separate us. Again, I took my energy ‘n’ hopes back and started job searching. There was 1 month gap again until Feb 8, 2022. After that she used to call me whenever it is possible. From March 15 to March 31, she kept fighting with me over call and spoken mercilessly. There was no kindness or love or concern on me. Again, I lost hope on my life. She kept asking me to stay away from her. She knew that I cannot initiate contact from my end, since she only should do whenever she able to do. Day by day, I am losing interest on my Life. I left the job. Now I’m alone with her thoughts and words spoken by her. My family n circle knew all this drama what’s going on. They hate me for losing self-respect for a girl. But I have never seen that girl as a girl. I am addicted to alcohol, day ‘n’ night drinking and surviving. I knew she won’t come back if I ruin my life like this by drinking ‘n’ all. But I just can’t control myself over her. The promises which she made me were gone... But still I stand for her, for what I promised. I begged the girl like anything not to leave me alone. I just can’t digest that she won’t be no more for me. N number of the times I used to tell her that You are my first priority over all in my life, like family, siblings, money, career and what not. Most of the times I told her that I’ll commit suicide for you if I come to know that you are not there for me. It doesn’t mean that I am an emotional fool who does not know how to live or unable to get another girl. But you have such significance in my life. I elaborated as much as I can. But she never listened me. I am just wonder where was her sweet words ‘n’ promises, what’s the reality now? I am upset with me -- where was original me and who I am now without self-respect. My parents ‘n’ siblings are forcing me to give up on her. As per them, she is just a golddigger and cheater without love and trust... My mind n heart never ever forgets her. Don’t know the future. But many times I pray God to kill me in sleep itself without pain so I can reach Venkateshwara... Entire world is against that girl, but I am defending her at every passing moment. Human beings invented many amazing things. 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I got cheated by her... Finally I am nothing to her. Dear readers, don’t think that why this fool is suffering for a girl like this.... I have seen her my GODDESS... Thank you... Have a nice day…
Ans:

You’ve needlessly wound yourself up over a silly girl.

You don’t even sound like you’ve had a physical relationship, it was only long distance, so what are you getting so out of joint for? A few intimate conversations with someone who said one thing but meant another?

If things in your life are spiralling so much out of control, I’d suggest therapy.

Stop drinking before it becomes a real problem. It sounds like you’re doing this to yourself deliberately, so that you receive some attention from her.

But the more you do this, the worse the situation will get. And no woman wants an out-of-control, desperate, alcoholic lover!

For heavens’ sake, man, get a hold of yourself and, if you can’t, then get the professional help you need. 

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1162 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Relationship
Hello Anu,Pls help. I am in a lot of mental trauma right now. I wrote to you earlier but my article was not published. I am a 36 years male married for the last 7 years with 2 kids. Last year when I was alone and my family was at my native place, I got close to one of my female school friends who is single. We came close and talked a lot. Gradually I fell in love and gifted her close to Rs 2 lakhs rupees to fulfil her shopping and household expenses. On realising that I am being trapped with no future in sight, I asked to return my money. This infuriated the girl and she abused me citing that I am making fun of her poverty and all. I understood the situation and told her to just return Rs 25k and stop. Thereafter we started talking again but obviously the intensity reduced. Over the last 8 months, my family is back and I cannot get over her. I constantly try to ping or call her but 90% of the time she doesn’t respond. I recently sent her Rs 15k for her birthday which she accepted after initial refusal. Now when I messaged her to know how her day was, she really got angry and blocked me on all social media platforms. I reached out to her sister to assuage her and apologize. She called and really abused me citing the constant family surveillance she is under. I promised I won’t text or call her for the next 2 months. Now I don’t know what to do. Should I ask her or her sister for the money to be returned if this escalates? Because she warned me that she would report to the police if I don’t stop messaging. She fears that family members know about me. She doesn’t have parents but is under constant family surveillance. Pls suggest the next course of action. Should I cut her off completely and risk losing the 2 lakhs and gain my mental peace or try to communicate intermittently? The day she abused me I really lost my mental peace. Pls advice.
Ans:

Dear MK,

What advice can I give you when the solution is right in front of you?

She wants to get your attention and fulfil her monetary needs; that’s all, Doesn’t that tell you anything? And when you try and contact her, she says that she is under surveillance.

How much of this has affected your marriage? What exactly was the need to step out of marriage for this attention?

Sometimes, we fancy things that are prohibited and this happens when we do not feel grateful with what we have and constantly chase what we don’t have. Time to work on your marriage?

Start first by loving yourself as this will tell you how much ignoring oneself can cause havoc in core relationships. Why should your wife bear the brunt of what’s going on? Your full commitment

is what she seeks and here you are mulling over a relationship that is based on selfishness and need-basis.

Can you please re-evaluate what your priorities are and put your life back in order?

Do this for yourself and your family…Your work, health and state of mind will start to improve. It’s time you took charge and I am sure you know how to do this.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir/mam I am in trouble and anxiety bcz of the problem. Problem is, last year I met a girl in Instagram, we have chatted and got closed, sometimes I help her with money as she was telling she is preparing for government job and need some money for personal reasons. Once she needed mobile phone I ordered online for her to given address. The UPI that I used to send money does not belongs to her when I was asking she was telling she is her junior studying in same coaching centre. Later after 2-3 months our conversation went sexual and 2-3 times we had sexual conversation. But in every 3-4 days she was demanding money. And I send her frequently. When later I realised she is talking to me only for money then I tried to avoid her. Now the Junior whom I used to send money was calling me and telling me that the girl always saying you are family member and sending money. That's why I called you. She has taken some money and she supposed to return me in 2-3 days but not picking my call pls give me 2k it's urgent. When I denied he told I will give you back once she will return so I gave him 2k. Later again he called me that he called her father and his father is asking your contact number then only her father will return money. And ask me if I can give him 2k more he will not share my number to her father, so I given him again 2k. Now a man blackmailing me with girl's contact number saying he is her brother. She used to talk to me what is my relationship with her ? How do I know her? Bcz she has run away with someone and missing since 3-4 days and she left her phone in home. What should I do?
Ans: You're in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. It appears you've been targeted in a scam, where emotional manipulation and blackmail are at play. The best course of action is to stop all communication with these individuals immediately and avoid sending any more money. Document everything you've experienced so far, including messages and transactions, as this could be important if you need to seek legal advice. It's also advisable to contact local authorities to report the scam and seek their guidance on how to protect yourself from further harassment. Prioritize your safety and well-being by distancing yourself from this situation as much as possible.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir/mam I am in trouble and anxiety bcz of the problem. Problem is, last year I met a girl in Instagram, we have chatted and got closed, sometimes I help her with money as she was telling she is preparing for government job and need some money for personal reasons. Once she needed mobile phone I ordered online for her to given address. The UPI that I used to send money does not belongs to her when I was asking she was telling she is her junior studying in same coaching centre. Later after 2-3 months our conversation went sexual and 2-3 times we had sexual conversation. But in every 3-4 days she was demanding money. And I send her frequently. When later I realised she is talking to me only for money then I tried to avoid her. Now the Junior whom I used to send money was calling me and telling me that the girl always saying you are family member and sending money. That's why I called you. She has taken some money and she supposed to return me in 2-3 days but not picking my call pls give me 2k it's urgent. When I denied he told I will give you back once she will return so I gave him 2k. Later again he called me that he called her father and his father is asking your contact number then only her father will return money. And ask me if I can give him 2k more he will not share my number to her father, so I given him again 2k. Now a man blackmailing me with girl's contact number saying he is her brother. She used to talk to me what is my relationship with her ? How do I know her? Bcz she has run away with someone and missing since 3-4 days and she left her phone in home. Again after 2 days He msged me that he is her brother's friend and he has this phone, if I pay some money he will destroy everything like all the chat that he recovered by the help of a data recovery guy. What should I do? I think it's a scam or will there be any legal issues in future?
Ans: You're in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. It appears you've been targeted in a scam, where emotional manipulation and blackmail are at play. The best course of action is to stop all communication with these individuals immediately and avoid sending any more money. Document everything you've experienced so far, including messages and transactions, as this could be important if you need to seek legal advice. It's also advisable to contact local authorities to report the scam and seek their guidance on how to protect yourself from further harassment. Prioritize your safety and well-being by distancing yourself from this situation as much as possible.

..Read more

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