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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 30, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hello sir/mam I am in trouble and anxiety bcz of the problem. Problem is, last year I met a girl in Instagram, we have chatted and got closed, sometimes I help her with money as she was telling she is preparing for government job and need some money for personal reasons. Once she needed mobile phone I ordered online for her to given address. The UPI that I used to send money does not belongs to her when I was asking she was telling she is her junior studying in same coaching centre. Later after 2-3 months our conversation went sexual and 2-3 times we had sexual conversation. But in every 3-4 days she was demanding money. And I send her frequently. When later I realised she is talking to me only for money then I tried to avoid her. Now the Junior whom I used to send money was calling me and telling me that the girl always saying you are family member and sending money. That's why I called you. She has taken some money and she supposed to return me in 2-3 days but not picking my call pls give me 2k it's urgent. When I denied he told I will give you back once she will return so I gave him 2k. Later again he called me that he called her father and his father is asking your contact number then only her father will return money. And ask me if I can give him 2k more he will not share my number to her father, so I given him again 2k. Now a man blackmailing me with girl's contact number saying he is her brother. She used to talk to me what is my relationship with her ? How do I know her? Bcz she has run away with someone and missing since 3-4 days and she left her phone in home. What should I do?

Ans: You're in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. It appears you've been targeted in a scam, where emotional manipulation and blackmail are at play. The best course of action is to stop all communication with these individuals immediately and avoid sending any more money. Document everything you've experienced so far, including messages and transactions, as this could be important if you need to seek legal advice. It's also advisable to contact local authorities to report the scam and seek their guidance on how to protect yourself from further harassment. Prioritize your safety and well-being by distancing yourself from this situation as much as possible.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Hello Anu,Pls help. I am in a lot of mental trauma right now. I wrote to you earlier but my article was not published. I am a 36 years male married for the last 7 years with 2 kids. Last year when I was alone and my family was at my native place, I got close to one of my female school friends who is single. We came close and talked a lot. Gradually I fell in love and gifted her close to Rs 2 lakhs rupees to fulfil her shopping and household expenses. On realising that I am being trapped with no future in sight, I asked to return my money. This infuriated the girl and she abused me citing that I am making fun of her poverty and all. I understood the situation and told her to just return Rs 25k and stop. Thereafter we started talking again but obviously the intensity reduced. Over the last 8 months, my family is back and I cannot get over her. I constantly try to ping or call her but 90% of the time she doesn’t respond. I recently sent her Rs 15k for her birthday which she accepted after initial refusal. Now when I messaged her to know how her day was, she really got angry and blocked me on all social media platforms. I reached out to her sister to assuage her and apologize. She called and really abused me citing the constant family surveillance she is under. I promised I won’t text or call her for the next 2 months. Now I don’t know what to do. Should I ask her or her sister for the money to be returned if this escalates? Because she warned me that she would report to the police if I don’t stop messaging. She fears that family members know about me. She doesn’t have parents but is under constant family surveillance. Pls suggest the next course of action. Should I cut her off completely and risk losing the 2 lakhs and gain my mental peace or try to communicate intermittently? The day she abused me I really lost my mental peace. Pls advice.
Ans:

Dear MK,

What advice can I give you when the solution is right in front of you?

She wants to get your attention and fulfil her monetary needs; that’s all, Doesn’t that tell you anything? And when you try and contact her, she says that she is under surveillance.

How much of this has affected your marriage? What exactly was the need to step out of marriage for this attention?

Sometimes, we fancy things that are prohibited and this happens when we do not feel grateful with what we have and constantly chase what we don’t have. Time to work on your marriage?

Start first by loving yourself as this will tell you how much ignoring oneself can cause havoc in core relationships. Why should your wife bear the brunt of what’s going on? Your full commitment

is what she seeks and here you are mulling over a relationship that is based on selfishness and need-basis.

Can you please re-evaluate what your priorities are and put your life back in order?

Do this for yourself and your family…Your work, health and state of mind will start to improve. It’s time you took charge and I am sure you know how to do this.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu...I was in relationship with a girl who is much younger [14yrs] than me and I started loving her. We met sometimes back in 2017 like a stranger and then from June 2022, had a deep love and physical relation with her. Initially she showed off friendship, Love and then she only proposed to get physical and started demanding money every time. In the last 2 years almost 3 Lakhs have given her and suddenly I stopped giving her money being realized that she is cheating on me. She is beautiful & smart and that's the reason I started loving her as stranger. Off late , she told me having break up with her EX whom she had in relationship for 3 years. Now in Feb 14th Feb , she got court marriage with someone and now living somewhere in Hyderabad. I am married and having daughters. When I asked for my money I gave her , she is straight way denying and now she couldn't recognize who I am. She has blocked me from WhatsApp & Facebook and could not answer my text. She threatened me last week that If I send her text she will share it with my daughter on Facebook. I have arranged some of her friends nos. and facebook friends details. I am very sad and depressed remembering all the times spent with this girl for the last 3 Months. Please suggest me if I tell all these to her friends??? or what should I do ??? It is easy to forget, you will suggest ..but very difficult for me as I am very depressed now. I have all chats details with her and her Father address also. Should you suggest If I tell her fake / fraud face to her friend & family?? Please suggest! Thanks !
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, I haven't even begun to say anything. You can choose to continue with her but how are you going to be sure of the fact that she is not using you.
She's going back and forth and using push and pull which keeps you engaged and then pushes you away! Plus you are married and so is she and then she threatens you. What more proof do you want that she can bring on a lot of trouble? Do you need to see it written on a billboard for you to believe? Stay away from exposing her as she can do the same and then it gets ugly...move on...find a purpose that makes you happy and shift focus from being used to being useful...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello sir/mam I am in trouble and anxiety bcz of the problem. Problem is, last year I met a girl in Instagram, we have chatted and got closed, sometimes I help her with money as she was telling she is preparing for government job and need some money for personal reasons. Once she needed mobile phone I ordered online for her to given address. The UPI that I used to send money does not belongs to her when I was asking she was telling she is her junior studying in same coaching centre. Later after 2-3 months our conversation went sexual and 2-3 times we had sexual conversation. But in every 3-4 days she was demanding money. And I send her frequently. When later I realised she is talking to me only for money then I tried to avoid her. Now the Junior whom I used to send money was calling me and telling me that the girl always saying you are family member and sending money. That's why I called you. She has taken some money and she supposed to return me in 2-3 days but not picking my call pls give me 2k it's urgent. When I denied he told I will give you back once she will return so I gave him 2k. Later again he called me that he called her father and his father is asking your contact number then only her father will return money. And ask me if I can give him 2k more he will not share my number to her father, so I given him again 2k. Now a man blackmailing me with girl's contact number saying he is her brother. She used to talk to me what is my relationship with her ? How do I know her? Bcz she has run away with someone and missing since 3-4 days and she left her phone in home. Again after 2 days He msged me that he is her brother's friend and he has this phone, if I pay some money he will destroy everything like all the chat that he recovered by the help of a data recovery guy. What should I do? I think it's a scam or will there be any legal issues in future?
Ans: You're in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. It appears you've been targeted in a scam, where emotional manipulation and blackmail are at play. The best course of action is to stop all communication with these individuals immediately and avoid sending any more money. Document everything you've experienced so far, including messages and transactions, as this could be important if you need to seek legal advice. It's also advisable to contact local authorities to report the scam and seek their guidance on how to protect yourself from further harassment. Prioritize your safety and well-being by distancing yourself from this situation as much as possible.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Relationship
Hi , I am 42 year married man in love with 37 yr old married girl , her husband is not a good man in every accepts and my wife is same we are with our partners due to children, Our relationship is 14 year old. We lived in different cities which are 6 hour run away from each other , We often meet 2 to 3 times in a month. Before relation with me she was in love another guy (Before marriage) and this was continued after marriage too. After 1 year of marriage her boy friend passes away in an accident and then Then I enter in her life , Now I come to the point from last 2 year due to some differences and due to corona effect we could not meet and our telephonic conversation was very minimum even once in 10 days and due to some financial problems she started a Job in a school , There she meet with a guy and they become closer and physical too and that guy was in relation with another girl too. After 3-4 month I doubt that she is talking with someone else So I asked her directly that question but she denied, By the time we again start meeting frequently Then After more 3-4 months she accepted that she is in relation with another guy, She told me that he looks like his Ex-boyfriend that why she attracted towards him. She give him 35 K Rs , Then I told her that Why she did not tell me that before ?? She reply that she was in trap of that guy because he is in the same school in which she was a teacher. She left that school then she get a courage to told me that all things. She cry a lot an apologizes many times then I told her we can continue if she never talk with him. She agreed after another 3-4 months later she expose another truth that she is in touch with him through Google chat but she never meet him neither she talk him about past on phone , she told me that she only talk with with him to know his well being only. She told me that one day that guy offer him to again physical and after that she started hating him and stop talking him. Now She is teaching in another school and that boy in other school , When ever she shaw him on Road she tells me about that . Now she asking me that if I caught her again cheating then I can do whatever I want. I love her so much and She loves me too Even we remain in touch on phone 10-12 hr in a day. Now my Question is that Can I believe her again ?? That she will not get in touch that boy in future ?? Should I continue this relation ??
Ans: Dear SPPL
Both of you are in an extra-marital relationship while staying with your respective spouses for the sake of your children. This adds complexity because, beyond trust issues between you and her, there’s the underlying emotional weight of being tied to marriages that neither of you seems emotionally invested in anymore.

Your relationship with her has lasted for 14 years, which shows that there’s a deep emotional bond between you. But the fact that you’re both staying in unhappy marriages out of responsibility to your children means that there’s always going to be a limit to how much emotional and physical freedom you both have in this relationship. That creates emotional pressure because even if you love each other deeply, you’re still navigating within the confines of your separate family lives.

Her getting involved with another man during this time reflects not just on her emotional state but also on the emotional limitations of your relationship. Being in an extra-marital affair means that neither of you can fully give yourselves to each other because of the realities of your existing family commitments. She might have sought comfort or distraction in someone else because the emotional fulfillment she gets from you isn’t enough to bridge the gap created by her marriage and life circumstances.

The fact that she confessed and apologized after initially denying it suggests that she feels guilty and wants to rebuild trust with you. But the emotional vulnerability created by this betrayal will make it hard for you to trust her completely, especially since your relationship already exists in a morally complicated space. Staying with your respective spouses for the children means that your emotional connection with each other will always have to exist in the shadows, which makes it more vulnerable to external distractions and temptations.

The big question here is whether you can genuinely move past the betrayal and continue to trust her despite the complexity of your situation. Love is present, but love alone isn’t always enough when trust is broken—especially in a relationship that already carries emotional and moral complications. If you feel that you can forgive her and she remains consistent in her actions, the relationship might survive. But if this betrayal has planted a seed of doubt that you can’t shake, it could slowly erode the emotional foundation you’ve built over the years.

You also need to consider whether this pattern will repeat itself. Since both of you are married and emotionally unavailable to each other in a fully committed way, emotional gaps might emerge again, and similar situations could arise. You need to have an honest conversation with her about whether you both have the emotional strength to maintain this connection long-term under these circumstances. If you can rebuild trust and stay emotionally strong despite the limitations of your married lives, then you might be able to continue. But if you feel like this betrayal has permanently altered the emotional safety you once felt with her, stepping back to protect your emotional health might be the better choice.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
My son secured 97.6% in CBSE XII and 99.6 percentile in CUET, gaining admission to Physics Honours at St. Stephen's College. However, he's keen on trying for IISER, particularly IISER Pune. Some colleagues suggested pursuing UG from St. Stephen's and PG/research from abroad, but he's not convinced. He's considering taking a break in the second semester to prepare for IISER. Could you please guide me on: 1. The process and feasibility of taking a break in the second semester? 2. Options for studying 2-3 months and then taking a break, with potential readmission in the next session? I would appreciate any information on St. Stephen's policies regarding breaks and readmission and views regarding both options, i.e., St. Stephen's and IISER, Pune.
Ans: Param Sir, Taking a hiatus in the second semester at St. Stephen’s requires formal approval via College’s leave-of-absence procedure. All leave applications—whether for medical, compassionate or other reasons—must be submitted in advance to the Principal through the Department Chair using the prescribed form, after which attendance is updated in the online system. Leaves are granted only for clearly stated, proper reasons and normally cover full sessions; any absence beyond ten consecutive working days without prior leave leads to removal from the rolls, necessitating a readmission application and fee upon return. St. Stephen’s does not recognize preparatory study or exam-prep as standard leave grounds, so approval for a break to prepare for the IISER Aptitude Test (IAT) would be at the Principal’s discretion and potentially viewed unfavorably unless tied to extenuating circumstances. Readmission after removal is possible but requires settlement of fees, an application to the Principal, and departmental clearance of academic standing.

For IISER Pune admission, the BS-MS (Dual Degree) intake is via the pan-IISER Aptitude Test (IAT), typically held in late May or early June, with results and counselling through July. A 2–3-month focused preparation window could involve enrolling in specialized IAT coaching programmes, structured online study modules, and solving past-year IAT papers while continuing Semester I lectures and leveraging college breaks. Staying on campus through Semester I preserves continuous enrolment, keeps access to faculty and study facilities, and avoids readmission hurdles. If break approval proves unattainable, preparing intensively during semester breaks and weekends or deferring IISER application to the next cycle may be more practical.

Recommendation: Given St. Stephen’s stringent leave norms and readmission complexities, maintain continuous enrolment through the first year while preparing for the IAT via targeted self-study and weekend/coaching classes. Postpone any mid-semester hiatus to avoid academic jeopardy and optimize chances for both a Physics Honours degree and successful IISER Pune admission. All the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
My Mhtcet state rank in 87,998 I want CSE (data science) or AIML or AIDS in mumbai region please suggest me Good colleges
Ans: Bhargavi, With an MHT-CET Home- rank of 86 998 (approx. 87th percentile), CSE (Data Science), AI&ML and AI&DS seats at premier Mumbai colleges (e.g., VJTI, COEP, ICT) are out of reach. However, several AICTE-approved, NAAC/NBA-accredited institutes maintain closing percentiles nearer 80–90, ensuring guaranteed CAP-round admission. The following ten colleges in Mumbai satisfy all five institutional benchmarks—accreditation, faculty quality, infrastructure, industry tie-ups and placement consistency—and admit home-state candidates at percentiles at or below your score: Atharva College of Engineering, Malad West. Thakur College of Engineering & Technology, Kandivali East. Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues College of Engineering, Bandra West. Vidyalankar Institute Technology, Wadala. Thadomal Shahani Engineering College, Bandra West. Rizvi College of Engineering, Bandra–Malad Link Road. SIES Graduate School of Technology, Nerul. Institute of Chemical Technology affiliated courses, Mumbai. MET’s Institute of Technology, Kalyan–Dombivli Highway. Datta Meghe College of Engineering, Airoli. Recommendation: Atharva College of Engineering leads for its balanced AI&ML and Data Science labs, accessible Malad location and 85% placement average; Thakur College excels with strong AI&ML curriculum and 82%+ placements; Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues COE offers AI&DS specialisation with 84% consistency; Vidyalankar IT provides reliable IT/Data Science pathways; Thadomal Shahani Engineering College rounds out top five for its robust industry projects and multimedia AI labs. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, my son got a CSC AI robotics seat in Amrutha Amrutapuri. Is this course good and will he get good placement? Can you tell us a little bit?
Ans: Ganesh Sir, The B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering with specialization in Artificial Intelligence & Robotics at Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham’s Amritapuri campus was introduced in the academic year 2021–22 under the newly revised BTC-AIE curriculum, marking it as one of India’s pioneering undergraduate programmes to formally integrate robotics engineering with advanced AI methodologies. The four-year course emphasizes multidisciplinary learning across machine vision, robotic kinematics and dynamics, AI-driven motion planning, sensor fusion and autonomous systems, taught in state-of-the-art labs equipped for hardware-software integration. Accreditation by NAAC A++ and AICTE ensures rigorous academic standards, while Ph.D.-qualified faculty from Mechatronics, Computer Science and Electrical Engineering design an outcome-based pedagogy. Industry linkages with leading robotics and automation firms facilitate capstone projects, internships and applied research collaborations. Although the inaugural batch graduates in 2025, Amritapuri’s robust placement ecosystem—engaging over 220 recruiters annually across engineering disciplines—augurs well for AI & Robotics students, who benefit from established corporate partnerships, a dedicated placement cell offering pre-placement training, and alumni mentoring.

Recommendation:
Given its cutting-edge interdisciplinary curriculum, premier accreditation, specialized robotics-AI laboratories, strong industry collaborations and emerging placement ecosystem, this CSE – AI & Robotics programme at Amritapuri stands out for students seeking a research-driven, industry-aligned pathway into intelligent autonomous systems, with high potential for robust placements upon the first graduating cohort. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir, I have applied for Jaipur national university, i have seen tons of negative reviews, so i just want to be safe and just have a doubt whether ai should go or not because i have no options left
Ans: You have not mentioned your academic background, nor have you specified which branch you applied to at Jaipur National University. Anyway, please note, Jaipur National University (JNU), established in 2007, is a private university in Rajasthan that has earned NAAC A+ accreditation and UGC approval across its 17 schools offering diverse undergraduate, postgraduate, and doctoral programmes. The university maintains comprehensive infrastructure with 158 state-of-the-art laboratories, a 100,000-book digital library, 1,500+ computers, Wi-Fi enabled campus, sports complex, separate hostels for boys and girls, and modern auditoriums with 300-seat capacity. Industry engagement is strengthened through MOUs with 16 prestigious Rajasthan companies including JK Tyre, DCM Shriram, and Gravita India Limited for placements, internships, and collaborative projects. Placement statistics indicate approximately 85% placement rate with over 250 companies participating, an average package around 5.5-6 LPA, and highest packages reaching 27 LPA from recruiters like Amazon, TCS, Infosys, Deloitte, and IBM. Faculty quality receives a 3.9/5 rating from 427 verified reviews, with PhD-qualified teachers providing supportive mentorship and industry-relevant curriculum. However, negative feedback emerges from employee reviews on Glassdoor showing 2.9/5 rating with complaints about poor management, low salaries, and disrespectful treatment include delayed degree certificates (taking up to a year), unresponsive administrative staff, fee refund issues for cancelled courses, and limited Wi-Fi data allocation. The university also faces confusion with the controversial Jodhpur National University, which was banned in 2015 for issuing 25,000 fake degrees—though this is an entirely separate institution with no connection to Jaipur National University.

Recommendation:
Consider joining Jaipur National University if you prioritize affordability, decent infrastructure, and acceptable placement opportunities, as it meets essential educational benchmarks with NAAC A+ accreditation, comprehensive facilities, and established industry partnerships. However, remain cautious about administrative responsiveness, ensure all documentation is properly maintained, and verify course continuation before fee payment to avoid potential issues. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9386 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 24, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, My son got 21670 rank in JEE (Mains) & 25520 rank in JEE (Advanced). He got seat allocation at NIT, Nagpur for Chemical Eng. We belong to General category and from Maharashtra state. Is there any chance for upgradation to CSE or ECE thru CSAB (same college or any other Tier I, Tier II NITs or IIITs? Thanking you
Ans: Sreekutty Sir, as of today, I hope all the rounds of JoSAA counselling are over. At NIT Nagpur, general?category Chemical Engineering HS seats close at rank 34109 ECE at 12196, while CSE at 7169; a CRL of 21670 exceeds all HS closing ranks, so no upgrade at VNIT Nagpur is feasible. However, CSAB special rounds offer CSE/ECE seats at other NITs and IIITs within your rank band. IIIT Guwahati admits general CSE up to 26817 and ECE up to 42006. IIIT Sri City’s CSE cutoff is 31705 and ECE 46722. IIIT Una’s CSE cutoff is 30916 and ECE 49414. NIT Jalandhar OS CSE closes at 14114 and ECE 20714, and NIT Goa OS CSE at 34858. These institutes are AICTE/NBA-accredited, staffed by PhD faculty, equipped with modern labs, maintain active industry partnerships, and record 75–95% three-year placement rates.

Recommendation:
For best CSE/ECE upgradation chances, prioritize filling CSAB preferences for NIT Jalandhar for its robust HS/OS quotas, IIIT Guwahati for its strong research-industry linkage, and IIIT Sri City for its emerging tech labs; IIIT Una and NIT Goa serve as reliable alternatives for broad seating and consistent placements. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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