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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Harsha Question by Harsha on Jun 16, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, After reading a lot of your responses I started to believe that you probably have a solution to my complex problem I am 42 yr old and wife 40 and we live in AUS. We have 2 beautiful, smart kids 11 and 7. She is a nice person but not very smart to think what should we care and what not care and live a happy life. A few years ago my mom from India used to visit how used to complain about my in-laws about how rude they are how they not keep in touch at all and all that. This is absolutely true because I saw that myself. But my wife being a loving daughter thinks none of that is true and my mom is lying. 10 years ago my dad passed away after 2 months of lot of suffering from cancer, my wife was pregnant here at the same time in AUS. I had to go to India to spend with time with my dad during his last days.One unbelievable truth is when I was performing funeral rituals on on side my father in law was telling all my close visitors that I am not talking/calling much to my wife during these days to AUS. All those guests told me about it. But my father-in-law says that he never said those things to visitors and they are all lying. My wife firmly believes that they are all lying. When I talked to him in person he agreed that he said those things. He is never nice to our family. He never even offered help to my family when my dad was suffering. All that a side, realizing that me and my family is disturbed a lot, none of my family members are saying anything to her just so that we are happy and nothing bothers us. It's been 2 1/2 years like that. But she is not ready for forget what happened in the past and live a happy family life. Despite suffering I myself tell her to forget all that happened and I never talk about past things. But she still clings on to those thoughts. My kids are suffering now. To keep my family happy, I try to make fun , talk to her, go places and all that. But with those past thoughts she turned into a heartless person. Please help. Tell me where, what and how can I/we fix this.

Ans: Dear Harsha,
Thank you for the acknowledgement.
My suggestion to you: Start afresh!
Digging what happened only puts your wife in the spotlight...maybe she wasn't at her best and things went downhill, but it will not give her the chance to rework things and integrate back into the family.
So, press the RESET button and along with the kids, focus on your family...what her father said or not, what someone should have done or not; let it be done and dusted.
For relationships to work and move, both parties involved, must make that choice to leave the past behind, else the shadows keep growing and casting a cloud over something that is healthy and has a chance to grow beautifully.
Does this make sense here? If I tell you to go down the path and confront her about her father, she will get defensive and this thing will get ugly and perhaps backfire.
Are you willing to start afresh is the question here? If YES, what will this do for you? Now, you know what to do...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jun 17, 2024 | Answered on Jun 17, 2024
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Thank you so much for the response, Anu. But I never ever dig anything from the past. It's her who does that and I am trying to help her not live in the past. I try to tell her not to think about past things that bothers her. But she always lives in the past. Never moves on. That is what I was trying to ask you what else I could do.
Ans: Dear Harsha,
The suggestion that I made was for both of you. it's not a She v/s Me battle here...In a marriage, it's team work and a tough one at times...
So, as a team if you can set aside what's happened and look forward to what can be different in the future, that will really set the tone going! Get the drift, here? As a team; so it is probably going to take a different way of communicating with your wife where she feels not pointed out to and that might possibly help her let her guard down and she might start looking at you and the marriage slightly different. When this happens, that's when your team work starts to fusion into something very fruitful. Give that a shot, you never know!
Start afresh simply meant for both of you to drop all baggage and start right from the very beginning...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 28, 2022

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Hi Anu, I'm a 50 year old male married for 10 years. This is our second marriage for both of us. We live abroad. Since Day One my spouse was suspicious of me linking me with anyone on the street. She says I'm sighting girls. She suspected that I am interested in my elder sister-in-law since marriage. She never told me this for three years. Due to this we never had any relationship (and no child). Because of this constant fighting I lost my mother (I apologised to mother since I was not able to take care of her and I was unhappy. She died within a month of my apology.) I never told anyone either of our relatives about our problems. My father is 90 and alive. I don't want to cause any problem to him. During these 10 years her father never bothered to check if any problems. I hardly slept 1-2 days a week during these years.My spouse never changed a bit during these 10 years. Her position reached a stage where I had to admit her to hospital for psychosis. She got discharged in 2 months because her parents were adamant on discharge on the condition that she will travel to India. But once discharged, she refused to travel for nearly 10 months. Her father supported her. When her mother passed away in December 2020, due to Covid her return tickets got cancelled. In December 2021 she was again in hospital for 20 days in India for similar psychological issues. In April 2022 I visited her house in India and gave her father a 4-page document detailing her behaviour during these 10 years. He simply said she has done unknowingly. He is adamant on trying to send her back to me. While I am struggling to live, her father lives a happy life with his pension. As a father he never corrects his daughter and instead tries to push the problems to me.I have asked for a divorce but she is not willing to give and starts shouting hysterically. Please let me know how to proceed.
Ans:

Dear S,

If you have decided that divorce is the only option to consider, then yes, file for divorce legally by hiring a lawyer who has specialized in cases where the spouse is unwilling to let the divorce happen.

In short, if it’s not a mutual consent, it might drag on for years, so get a good skilled lawyer to take up your case.

On the emotional side of things, I urge you to be patient and empathetic towards your wife. With her mental health condition, she possibly has no control over her thoughts and subsequent actions are a result of an impulsive reaction.

Yes, it is unfortunate that the marriage went through a lot of low phases but do remember she is a human who is going through a challenge which is not easy to fathom by people who don’t have a mental illness.

I realise that this might be a little difficult to do, but in the long-term scheme of things, it will be a good ally as a sound and calm mind helps you through challenging times.

This point of view will help you through the divorce proceedings where you will be able to be fair and just to make sure that she is also taken care of.

All the best for a better journey ahead!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Hi Anu...i hv been reading ur expertise to solve the issues of people and am really impressed. We have been married for 19years now and have a son and daughter .From the start of the marriage my wife have been inclined towards her mother and her family paying less or no heed to us. Circumstances were also favorable to her and she always got the opportunity to stay close and visit her parents often which i did not mind.We lived in Mumbai and she is from Chennai.After marriage my mom-in-law used to continuosly interfere into our lives by calling her and she used to act as per her suggestions only which led to problems as she was a puppet in the hands of my Mom-in-law. Moreover since my mom-in-law was not in good health my wife tried not to over rule as she did not want her mom to feel sick as she doesnt like to be over ruled or by pass failing which she goes on hunger strike and stop taking tablets spoiling her own health. Due to this reason everybody has been appeasing her.Initially i thought to ignore but slowly it started to affect my family as well as my wife started to see things thru my mom-in-laws perspective and find faults in everything. We shifted to overseas to stay away from all these and we really had a good life for 10 years there but since i lost job during covid i had to shift base to India for my son's education but she chose to stay back there with my daughter as she is working there.I too felt that let her spend some time so that i could settle things in India and call her but it is more than 2 years now and she refuses to come back and dont even care for us and neither call us as family. I tried to involve my in-laws to convince her but they are also playing a diplomatic game and doesnt want to go against their daughter's wish.Due to this attitude of my mom-in-law their own daughter-in-laws have been staying away and since my in-laws stay alone my wife feels that she is the only support system for her parents but it has come on my life's sacrifice. She has been ignoring us and even i kept moving for the sake of my family and children instead of respecting my feelings she has become more adamant now.Her brother is also seperated from her wife and he also looks forward for a support system from my daughter and my wife and they seem close ignoring myself and my son.We have been trying to convince her thru all means but she is caring. Even i feel that it is futile to force someone into relationship but she unknowingly spoiling my family and deprieve my son the mother;s love and also depreive my daughter from affection and love.Due to this my son has also stopped expecting from her and my daughter treats me as a stranger due to long distance. Pls suggest the way forward. Shud i wait for things to improve or leave as it is.I am 47 now and she is 45..told her that let us enjoy the best things in life rather than regretting later but she does not understand.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Logic does not appeal to your wife!
What can you do with someone who is adamant about ruining her own family life? It's purely clouded judgement on her part on what to do and not!
With more people dependent on your wife for support, she has found a way of moving even more away from you...what I do not understand is: how is she able to do that to your son?

Either the two of you talk this out and take firm decisions OR accept that this is how it's going to be...sooner or later, she will realize what is happening and will become more aware of her priorities. But, being where you are is painful and it will stress you even more...So, find a way to talk things out is a step that you can take NOW!

Impress upon her as to how important it is keep the family together as a unit for the children to grow in a healthy manner and also how much this time investment will help the two of you as a couple.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I am 38 years old. I have been living abroad since I was 21 years old. I have been focused on my career since then. I got married in 2021 in India and just after 4 months living in India, we again moved abroad. This country was new for me and my my wife, but my brother was already settled in this country with his family. As I was living away from my family for many years, me and my wife decided to live in a joint family with my brother’s family. However, I was quite busy adjusting to my new job, my wife couldn’t adjust well to my side of the family, my brother, his wife and my mother. After living together with everyone for a year, me and my wife decided to live separately from my side of the family. Now after 5 months my wife became pregnant and we both wanted to have a child. So even though my family was quite close and could have supported us during this time. I decided to sponsor my in laws on a visa so that my wife could feel supportive during this time. We had a girl child and I have avoided to communicate to my family during this one year so that my wife doesn’t get any stress or anything from my family. However as soon as we had a child, I have invited my mother and my brother family to visit my daughter. Now my in laws have started quarreling with me once in a while. And they convinced my wife to go to India with them. My wife has been living in India since last 6 months, they would never let me see my daughter over the phone call, and whenever I called them they would ask me for the money/gifts. Let me add to that when I went abroad, my wife was not working initially and I used to give her 30% of my salary and I used to bear all the expenses. When my in laws started living with us, I over heard them talking if I continued having relationship with my side of the family, she would buy her a home in India and take my daughter away from me. Now recently I came to India to get everything sorted, I do not think my wife would be willing to come with me without my in laws. How could I convince her to start over and repair our relationship for us and our beautiful daughter.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure you see a pattern in your wife's actions. At the risk of sounding judgemental, I will say: She does like to get her way in most things.
How else do you explain that when she is stressed keep them away and when she needs, she wants them back?
How can you expect to have support from your side of the family when you two decided to alienate them?
How does it work when she decided to stay back with her family with absolutely no regard that you as father will want to be close to your daughter?
How do you explain that they secretly conspire to take your daughter away from you if you involve your family?

Do you not see the immaturity of how they have very systematically alienated you from your family and your daughter?

To be able to put things together, your wife really needs to get away from her parents. They seem to hold the strings and have no qualms about spoiling their daughter's life...Bring her out of that family and move to a location that is not easily accessible to them; as in maybe back abroad, so they are not in and out of your home. Start building your relationship with your wife by being a hands-on father and that may also give her an idea as to the person that you are. You must be appreciated for the person that you are...Give this a shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

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Me and my wife don't get along well...She thinks my family members are not good enough, so she has no relationship with them. Earlier I was not in good shape due to my friend's circle and did not give quality time to my wife when we got married. A few years back there was a misunderstanding between both families. Mistakes were from both sides. Now my in-laws and wife do speak to any member of our family and have broken all relationships. This is for the past several years since they have stopped talking. My father is a cancer patient and wants to come and stay with me. He is 80 now but my wife is deadly against this though I have not discussed this yet with her. I need your guidance as to how to handle this situation and restore a good relationship between both families. My mother-in-law had fought with me in the past as well and held me responsible for her daughter's plight. My wife is very secretive and does not reveal anything be it about her salary/job etc. I am fed up and now I have started to think of separating if she does not allow my father to stay with me. Our marriage is almost 24 years now. I am 50 and she is in her late 40's....I want to get these things right and maintain a good relationship between both families. Kindly advise
Ans: Dear Trilok,
From what you’ve shared, it sounds like past misunderstandings between both families have turned into a long-standing rift. It’s understandable that you want to fix things and create harmony, but the resistance from your wife and in-laws makes it complicated. Before addressing the larger family conflict, the first step is to work on communication with your wife. You mentioned that earlier in the marriage, you weren’t able to give her enough quality time due to personal struggles. Do you think she still holds on to resentment from that time? If so, addressing those unresolved emotions could be a starting point for rebuilding some connection.

Since she is very secretive, it’s possible that she also feels disconnected from you in some way. Instead of making the father-staying discussion an immediate confrontation, try to understand her underlying fears. Is she worried about responsibilities, space, or past issues with your family? Bringing this up as a conversation about caregiving rather than a demand might help.

If her resistance is absolute and she refuses to even consider it, you’ll have to decide how much compromise you’re willing to make for the sake of your marriage. If you feel separation is a real possibility, ask yourself whether the relationship still has a foundation worth saving or if both of you have simply grown too far apart.

Would she be open to counseling or mediation? Sometimes a third party can help break the cycle of blame and secrecy. Do you feel that she still values this marriage, or has she emotionally distanced herself completely?

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, i am 40 years age and started investing in mutual funds from last 6 months in sip around 30k. i am currently investing in motilal oswal mid cap, parig parak flexi cap, sbi contra fund, icici multi asset , nippon midcap . i can invest in long term around 5 to 10 years but currently not seeing any growth in these. is it good to continue in these funds or can i add or remove any other funds. please suggest. Thanks, Vamshi
Ans: Vamshi, it is good to see that you started early and are investing a steady Rs.30,000 every month. Beginning SIP at 40 and thinking long term shows maturity and patience. The concern you are feeling is common in the first year, and it does not mean you have done anything wrong.

» Time frame and expectations
– Six months is a very short period for equity mutual funds.
– Equity works best when given time to pass through ups and downs.
– In the early phase, SIP units get accumulated more than showing returns.
– Real growth usually becomes visible after a few years, not months.

» Why growth is not visible right now
– Markets do not move in a straight line. Sideways and volatile phases are normal.
– Mid-cap oriented funds move slower during uncertain periods.
– SIP is doing its job quietly by buying more units at different levels.
– Lack of short-term growth is not a sign of poor fund quality.

» Review of your current fund mix
– Your portfolio has strong exposure to mid-cap style funds.
– Mid-cap funds can give good returns but can test patience in short periods.
– You also have diversified and multi-asset style exposure, which adds balance.
– Overall, the structure is growth-oriented but slightly tilted towards higher volatility.

» Whether to continue or make changes
– Stopping or changing funds just because of 6-month performance is not advisable.
– Frequent changes usually hurt long-term returns.
– At this stage, continuation is more important than replacement.
– Any change should be based on asset balance, not recent returns.

» What can be improved going forward
– Add stability by increasing allocation to diversified large and flexible equity styles.
– Keep mid-cap exposure, but avoid adding too many similar funds.
– Ensure each fund plays a clear role, not overlapping the same stocks.
– Avoid chasing recent performers.

» SIP discipline and behaviour
– Continue SIP without interruption for at least a few years.
– Do not check portfolio too often; quarterly review is enough.
– Volatility in early years actually helps long-term investors.
– Patience is more valuable than timing.

» Risk and goal alignment
– A 5 to 10 year horizon is suitable for equity investing.
– If goals are closer to 5 years, balance is more important than aggression.
– If goals are closer to 10 years, staying invested matters more than short-term noise.
– Clear goal tagging will give confidence during weak phases.

» 360-degree perspective
– Ensure you have adequate emergency fund outside mutual funds.
– Health and term insurance should be in place to protect investments.
– Avoid using equity investments for short-term needs.
– Keep SIP amount flexible as income grows.

» Final Insights
– Your concern is natural, but your action so far is sensible.
– Six months is too early to judge equity mutual funds.
– Do not stop SIP or switch funds based on short-term returns.
– Improve balance slowly, not urgently.
– Consistency and patience will reward you over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 02, 2026

Money
I am 61 years; medical expense is zero; disciplined life style; and minimalist life style. - I stopped major investing; instead, I am withdrawing from the corpus. on a simple calculation the present expenses for 15 years is equal to my present corpus at market value. in this circumstances, I would like to know should I reduce or increase my SWP or this 15 years calculation is okay..!! please guide me.
Ans: Your discipline, simple lifestyle, and clear thinking at age 61 deserve genuine appreciation. Reaching a stage where your present corpus can support 15 years of expenses shows strong financial habits and self-control. This already puts you in a position of strength and choice.

» Understanding your current position
– You have minimal medical expenses today and follow a disciplined, minimalist life. This reduces pressure on your corpus.
– You have consciously stopped fresh investing and moved to withdrawal mode. This is natural at this life stage.
– Your current calculation shows that if expenses remain the same, the corpus can last around 15 years at today’s market value.
– This indicates balance, but it should not be treated as a fixed or permanent number.

» Why a straight 15-year calculation needs review
– Expenses rarely stay flat for 15 years, even with a simple lifestyle. Small increases add up over time.
– Health costs may be zero now, but ageing can change this suddenly, not gradually.
– Market value of corpus will move up and down. Withdrawal during weak phases can reduce longevity of money.
– Inflation silently reduces purchasing power, even for basic living costs.

» Assessment of your current SWP level
– If your SWP exactly matches today’s expenses, it is not aggressive, but it is also not conservative.
– A SWP that leaves no room for future uncertainty can slowly increase risk in later years.
– Your discipline is a big positive, but the plan should not depend only on discipline staying perfect forever.

» Should you reduce or increase your SWP
– Increasing SWP is not advisable at this stage unless there is surplus income from other safe sources.
– Maintaining the same SWP may work in the short term, but it needs regular review, not a one-time decision.
– A small reduction, even if not immediately needed, can add comfort and extend corpus life.
– The goal is not to maximise withdrawal, but to avoid regret in later years.

» How to think about SWP going forward
– Treat SWP as flexible, not fixed for 15 years.
– Review withdrawal once a year based on expenses, health, and market condition.
– During good market periods, you may continue smoothly.
– During weak market phases, be ready to pause or trim SWP slightly. This protects the core corpus.

» Health and contingency planning
– Even with zero medical expense today, a separate health buffer within the corpus is important.
– This buffer should not be touched for regular living costs.
– This reduces stress and avoids forced withdrawals during emergencies.

» Emotional comfort and quality of life
– Your minimalist life already supports peace of mind.
– A slightly conservative SWP often gives better sleep than an exact-match calculation.
– Financial plans at this stage should reduce anxiety, not test limits.

» Final Insights
– Your 15-year calculation is a good starting point, not a final answer.
– Avoid increasing SWP.
– Consider a modest reduction or at least keep flexibility to adjust.
– Annual review is more important than perfect maths today.
– Your discipline and simplicity are your biggest assets; protect them with a margin of safety.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |243 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2026Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, My Son was born with Beta thalassemia major, at the age of 3yrs he under went BMT at Mazumdar Shaw NH Hospital Bangalore in 2013 which was successful, now he is 16.4yrs again he has been diagnosed once again with Beta thalassemia after a gap of 13yrs, his Doctor say it rare case of failure & once again he need to under go BMT, plz advise what we need to do , can we legally make a claim with hospital for failure of BMT. previously we paid more than 10lac now they are demanding 20 to 25lac, which difficult to arrange such huge amount.
Ans: First of all, I understand how overwhelming and frightening this situation feels. A second bone marrow transplant is not only a medical decision, it becomes an emotional and financial storm for the entire family.

Please take a deep breath. Right now, the most important thing is to move step by step, with clarity and support, instead of panic.

Let me guide you in the most sensible and practical way forward.

1. Do not agree immediately for a second BMT without full confirmation

Before taking such a high risk and costly step, it is extremely important to confirm whether this is truly relapse or graft failure.

Please ask the doctor urgently for these key tests:

Chimerism Test (this is the most important)
This will show whether the donor marrow is still functioning.

Hemoglobin electrophoresis or HPLC

Genetic confirmation of recurrence

Bone marrow evaluation

Full transplant summary from 2013

Sometimes what looks like “thalassemia again” may actually be mixed chimerism, which can sometimes be managed without a full second transplant.

Do not decide until this is clearly confirmed.

2. Take a second expert opinion within 7 to 10 days

A second transplant is a major step. A second opinion can completely change the treatment plan.

Some of the best transplant centers in India are:

CMC Vellore
Tata Memorial Hospital, Mumbai
Apollo Chennai
PGI Chandigarh
AIIMS Delhi

Ask your current hospital for all reports and records in one complete file and consult quickly.

3. Negotiate strongly with the hospital for financial support

Please remember this clearly:

Hospitals can reduce costs significantly under charity, CSR support, and welfare schemes.

You should immediately request:

Concessional package
CSR or charity quota support
Installment payment option
Government or NGO assistance

Go directly to the Patient Welfare Office or Medical Superintendent and say clearly:

“We cannot afford 25 lakhs. Please place us under financial assistance support.”

Many families get 30 to 50 percent reduction when they push firmly.

Ask for a written revised estimate.

4. Insurance roadmap that actually works

Do not just ask “Will it cover?”

Do this exact process:

Check your policy wording for:

Bone Marrow Transplant
Stem Cell Transplant
Day care procedures

Apply for pre authorization before admission

If rejected, file escalation immediately

Group insurance through employer usually has higher chance of approval

Even though thalassemia is genetic, continuous insurance often still covers hospitalization and transplant procedures.



5. Government funding options that work in real cases

Please apply immediately. Do not delay even one week.

Practical sources include:

Ayushman Bharat (PMJAY)
Karnataka CM Relief Fund
PM National Relief Fund (PMNRF)
Health Minister Discretionary Grant

Many transplant cases receive support through these funds.

Hospital social workers usually help with forms.

Start applications this week.

6. NGOs that genuinely help thalassemia patients

These organizations are active and supportive:

Sankalp India Foundation
Cure2Children Foundation
Thalassemia Patients Advocacy Group

They help with funding, donor support, and correct guidance.

Write to all three with reports and hospital estimate.

7. Crowdfunding is the fastest support route today

Many families are able to raise 10 to 20 lakhs within 2 to 4 weeks through:

Milaap
Ketto
ImpactGuru

You will need:

Doctor’s letter
Hospital estimate
Patient photo
ID proof

Hospitals also cooperate in documentation.

8. Legal action is not the priority right now

I will be honest with you.

A transplant functioning for 13 years is usually not treated as negligence easily.

Legal cases take years and will not solve today’s urgent need.

First focus on:

Correct diagnosis
Second opinion
Financial assistance
Insurance
Relief funds
NGO support

Legal route can be explored later only if clear malpractice evidence emerges.

9. Ask the doctor these 6 direct questions tomorrow

Please write these down:

Is this graft rejection or true recurrence?
What is the current chimerism percentage?
Are there non transplant options before a second BMT?
What is the success rate in his specific case?
Will the same donor work or is a new donor needed?
What is the minimum possible cost after concession?

Do not leave without clear answers.

10. Immediate checklist for today

Collect these documents urgently:

2013 discharge summary
Current reports and diagnosis
Doctor recommendation letter
Hospital cost estimate
Insurance card and policy copy
Income certificate (needed for relief funds)

These will be required everywhere.

Final words

Please remember, you are not helpless.
There are medical options, financial support routes, and real organizations that can help you.

Just do not take any rushed decision.

Take one step at a time:

Confirm diagnosis
Second opinion
Negotiate assistance
Apply for funds
Reach NGOs
Start crowdfunding if needed

Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2026Hindi
Money
I am fifty two year old. I have two home. One is two bed room one hall and one kitchen flat and it's resale value is fourteen lakh. The other is a kothi, which is near to fourty lakh price in resale. I don't want to sale any one. Only i can rented out my flat in just five thousand rupees per month. I have three members in my family and they are covered by twenty five lakh rupees of mediclaim for each person. I have a PF. In my provident fund nine lakh rupees present and it's pension fund have only one lakh fifty thousand rupees. The provident fund is running since November two thousand thirteen.i have four D-mat account. Each have the value is 2 two lakh rupees now. One of them is totally free, as the value of that dmat tripled, so i sale some parts of the all shares and without any investment that dmat value is niw two lakh. My only daughter is in class eight. I have some LIC policy of sum assured near to twenty six lakh rupees and monthly premium pay for this is six thousand. I have one lakh fixed deposit, as a emergency fund and i have also one lakh rupees of monthly income scheme in indian post office. My monthly expenditure today is near to twenty thousand rupees. I don't stay in any one of my house, because i work outside,so i am living in a monthly rented room. The rent is now seventeen thousand rupees per month. My sallary is now one lakh rupees per month and i will retire from my work place at the age of fifty eight.Now please tell me whether i am in a right way in the path for planing the retirement? My and my wife have life expectency is ninety years. Now i also invest monthly fifty thousand rupees in ETF. Please tell me that does i do right things or wrong?
Ans: I appreciate the honesty and effort you have taken to put all details clearly. At age 52, with steady income, assets, and disciplined savings, you are not late. You are actually in a position where course correction can still create a strong and peaceful retirement life. Your intent is right. Now it needs direction.

» Where You Stand Today – Big Picture
– You have two self-owned properties and you are clear that you do not want to sell them. That emotional clarity is important.
– You have stable salary income till age 58 and a reasonable monthly expense level.
– You have health cover in place, which is a big relief for retirement planning.
– You are investing regularly and thinking long term till age 90, which shows maturity.

» Cash Flow Reality Check
– Monthly salary is Rs 1 lakh.
– Monthly expenses including rent are on the higher side because you are not living in your own house.
– Rental income from your flat is very low compared to its value, which limits support during retirement.
– Post retirement, salary will stop, but rent and living costs will continue.

» Retirement Corpus Readiness
– Provident Fund balance is moderate and will grow till retirement, but by itself it will not support a 32-year retired life.
– Pension fund amount is very small and cannot be relied upon for monthly needs.
– Fixed deposit and post office monthly income scheme amounts are too low for emergencies and long retirement needs.
– Demat holdings show good market exposure, but they are scattered across multiple accounts, making tracking and discipline difficult.

» ETF Investment – Important Concern
– ETFs simply follow the market without judgement. They go up when markets rise and fall fully when markets fall.
– At age 52, protecting downside is as important as growth. ETFs do not offer this protection.
– ETFs cannot shift strategy based on valuations, interest rates, or economic cycles.
– Actively managed mutual funds are better suited now as they can control risk, manage volatility, and rebalance based on conditions.
– Continuing heavy ETF investing at this stage increases retirement risk.

» LIC Policies – Review Is Necessary
– You are holding investment-cum-insurance policies with monthly premium of Rs 6,000.
– Life cover of around Rs 26 lakh is not meaningful considering your income, liabilities, and dependents.
– These policies grow slowly and lock your money for long periods.
– This is one area where surrender and redirection should be evaluated carefully.
– Redirecting future premiums into growth-oriented mutual funds can improve retirement readiness.

» Daughter’s Education Planning
– Your daughter is in Class 8, which means major education expenses are coming soon.
– This goal should be kept separate from retirement money.
– Education planning needs growth with time-bound discipline, not random investments.

» Emergency and Stability Planning
– Emergency fund of Rs 1 lakh is not sufficient considering job risk, rent, and medical needs.
– This should ideally cover several months of expenses.
– Health insurance is well structured, which is a strong positive.

» 360-Degree Corrections Needed
– Consolidate demat holdings to simplify monitoring and reduce emotional decisions.
– Gradually reduce ETF exposure and move towards actively managed funds aligned to goals.
– Review LIC policies and consider surrender where financially sensible.
– Increase emergency fund to avoid touching retirement money.
– Align investments separately for retirement, daughter’s education, and near-term needs.
– Rental income strategy should be realistic and aligned with retirement cash flow needs.

» Final Insights
– You are not on a wrong path, but the path is unorganised.
– Assets are there, income is there, discipline is there, but structure is missing.
– Heavy ETF exposure and slow-moving insurance products are the biggest risks today.
– With six working years left, smart reallocation and simplification can still build a stable retirement till age 90.
– With guided planning by a Certified Financial Planner, your existing resources can be turned into a confident retirement plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Money
I have diabetes also and is there any return of premium policy in term life insurance,so Sir please suggest me..
Ans: I appreciate you for being open about your health condition and for thinking carefully about family protection. Planning insurance with diabetes needs clarity, not fear. With the right structure, you can still build strong protection and long-term comfort.

» Diabetes and Term Life Insurance – Ground Reality
– Diabetes does not mean insurance rejection in all cases.
– Insurers mainly look at: age, duration of diabetes, sugar control, medication, and presence of complications.
– Well-controlled diabetes with regular follow-ups improves acceptance chances.
– Premiums may be higher, but cover is still possible in many cases.

» Return of Premium Term Insurance – How It Works
– In return of premium plans, you pay higher premium compared to pure term plans.
– If you survive the policy term, total premiums paid are returned.
– If death occurs during the term, nominee receives the full sum assured, not double.
– The returned amount does not generate real growth and does not beat inflation over long periods.

» Suitability Check – Is Return of Premium Right for You
– These plans give emotional comfort of “money back,” but not real wealth creation.
– Premiums are much higher, which reduces flexibility in other important goals.
– The return is simply your own money coming back after many years, without meaningful growth.
– From a planning view, insurance should protect risk, not act as an investment.

» Better Way to Think About Protection
– Life insurance should focus on high cover at reasonable cost.
– Savings and wealth creation should be handled separately through growth-oriented options.
– This separation gives clarity, flexibility, and better long-term results.
– Even with diabetes, choosing the right structure helps balance protection and affordability.

» If You Are Emotionally Keen on Premium Return
– If the idea of “no loss if I survive” is very important for your peace of mind, return of premium plans can be considered cautiously.
– Cover amount should still be meaningful, not compromised due to higher premium.
– This choice should be made after checking long-term cash flow comfort.

» 360-Degree Protection Planning
– Ensure adequate life cover based on responsibilities and dependents.
– Review existing insurance policies to avoid overlap or under-coverage.
– Keep health insurance strong, especially with diabetes.
– Align investments separately for retirement and family goals instead of depending on insurance maturity.

» Final Insights
– Diabetes is a factor, not a full stop, in life insurance planning.
– Return of premium plans give emotional relief but not financial growth.
– Clear separation between insurance and investment gives better long-term stability.
– With structured guidance from a Certified Financial Planner, you can design protection that works for your health condition and future goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2026Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I have Jeevan Saral Policy (Plan 165) since Oct 2008. Sum Assured Rs 750000/-. Premium 36030/- per annum, Policy term 35 yrs i.e. maturity in Oct 2043 having Double accident benefit. Can you Pls tell me how will I get after maturity? Is it worth continuing it or not? Pls guide me ?
Ans: I appreciate you for sharing full policy details and for your long-term commitment since 2008. Staying invested for so many years shows discipline and responsibility towards family protection. It is good that you are reviewing this now instead of blindly continuing.

» Understanding What You Will Receive at Maturity
– This is an insurance-cum-investment policy, not a pure investment product.
– At maturity, you will receive:

Sum Assured

Loyalty addition, if declared by the insurer
– The maturity amount is not guaranteed upfront. Loyalty additions depend on the insurer’s performance and are declared closer to maturity.
– Double accident benefit applies only in case of accidental death, not for maturity value.

» Return Expectation – Reality Check
– Over long policy terms, such plans generally generate low returns compared to long-term market-linked options.
– Premiums are locked for decades, reducing flexibility.
– Inflation impact is high over 35 years, which reduces the real value of maturity proceeds.
– The policy is safe, but safety comes at the cost of growth.

» Insurance and Investment – Mixed Role Issue
– This policy combines insurance and savings, which reduces efficiency on both sides.
– Life cover of Rs 7.5 lakh is inadequate for long-term family protection today.
– At the same time, the investment part grows slowly and does not match long-term goals like retirement or children’s education.

» Should You Continue or Exit
– Since this is an investment-cum-insurance policy, it is important to reassess its relevance today.
– If your main objective is wealth creation, continuing may not be optimal.
– If surrender value is reasonable and future premiums are still large, surrendering and redirecting money to better growth-oriented options can make sense.
– The decision should be based on: years already paid, current surrender value, and future cash flow comfort.

» What to Do After Surrender – Direction, Not Guesswork
– After surrender, the focus should be on separating insurance and investment clearly.
– Adequate pure life insurance cover should be ensured separately.
– Long-term investments should be aligned to goals, time horizon, and risk capacity.
– Actively managed mutual funds provide flexibility, professional decision-making, and better inflation-adjusted growth over long periods compared to traditional insurance products.

» 360-Degree View on Your Financial Plan
– Review existing insurance coverage across life and health.
– Align investments with specific goals instead of policy maturity dates.
– Maintain liquidity for emergencies.
– Periodic review with a Certified Financial Planner helps avoid emotional decisions and keeps the plan on track.

» Final Insights
– Your intention to secure the future is absolutely right and deserves appreciation.
– The policy offers safety, but growth is limited and may not meet long-term needs.
– Mixing insurance and investment has worked against optimal wealth creation.
– A structured shift towards goal-based investing, after careful surrender evaluation, can significantly improve your financial outcome over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11008 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2026

Money
Hi I have invested in mutual fund SIP Parag parikh flexi cap 3k HDFC flexi cap 2500 Hdfc balance advantage 2k Navi nifty 50 index fund 2500 Edweiss gold and silver ETF FOF 2k Is all the fund good to keep for long term or should I change to another fund. Thank you
Ans: I truly appreciate that you are investing regularly through SIPs and have spread your money across equity, hybrid and gold-related options. This shows discipline and a long-term mindset, which is the most important part of wealth creation. With some fine-tuning, this portfolio can become stronger and more aligned to long-term goals.

» Overall Portfolio Assessment
– Your portfolio has a mix of growth-oriented equity, a balanced component, and a hedge through gold and silver.
– Monthly SIP amount is well distributed, which reduces timing risk.
– However, there is overlap in equity style and also some exposure to options that may not add real long-term value.

» Flexi-cap Equity Exposure
– Flexi-cap funds are suitable for long-term goals as they can move between large, mid and small companies based on market conditions.
– Holding more than one flexi-cap fund can sometimes lead to duplication of stocks, which reduces the benefit of diversification.
– Instead of quantity, quality and role clarity matters. One well-managed active flexi-cap fund is usually sufficient when reviewed periodically.

» Balanced / Dynamic Allocation Exposure
– A balanced or dynamic asset allocation fund helps reduce volatility and is useful for investors who want smoother returns.
– This is a sensible inclusion, especially if you are investing for multiple goals and want some stability along with growth.
– Allocation should be intentional, not accidental. Its role should be clear – risk control, not return chasing.

» Index Fund Exposure – Important Caution
– Index funds simply copy the market and have no ability to protect your portfolio during market excesses or downturns.
– When markets are expensive, index funds still stay fully invested without judgement.
– In long-term investing, especially in India, actively managed funds have the flexibility to avoid overvalued stocks, manage risks, and adapt to changing conditions.
– For investors seeking meaningful wealth creation and downside control, active management plays a crucial role that index funds cannot provide.

» Gold and Silver ETF FoF Exposure
– Gold can act as a hedge, but returns over the long term are limited compared to equity.
– Silver is highly volatile and largely driven by global cycles, making it less predictable for retail investors.
– ETF FoF structures add an extra layer of cost and tracking issues without giving proportional benefit.
– Precious metals should be held in moderation and only as a support asset, not as a growth driver.

» Cost, Monitoring and Behavioural Discipline
– Too many funds increase monitoring burden and can lead to emotional decisions.
– Simplicity improves discipline, especially during market corrections.
– Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor who is also a Certified Financial Planner helps in regular reviews, behavioural guidance, and timely rebalancing. This support is often missing in self-managed approaches.

» 360-Degree Alignment with Goals
– The right portfolio is not about popular funds, but about matching investments with goals like children’s education, retirement, and financial security.
– Time horizon, risk capacity, and cash flow stability should decide fund selection and allocation.
– Periodic review and rebalancing is more important than frequent switching.

» Final Insights
– Your intention and consistency are excellent and deserve appreciation.
– Some consolidation is advisable to avoid overlap and unnecessary exposure.
– Reducing passive and ETF-based allocations and strengthening active equity exposure can improve long-term outcomes.
– A goal-aligned, simplified, actively managed portfolio reviewed by a Certified Financial Planner can give you clarity, confidence, and peace of mind over the years.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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