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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship

Hi Anu! I am married and have a kid . I love my husband and we both are working. The problem is that my husband wants me to have sex every day. But I am not able to. I love him so much, but I am upset with myself that i cant do that every day. Please suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
And what are you upset with? That you can't give in to this everyday?
Hello, if the body needs it, it will go ahead and co-operate...if not, it's not going to move a muscle. And in women, the mind (emotional connect will also play an important role in it).
Maybe you are satisfied with the sex frequency and it's okay to tell your husband that you are satiated. I am sure he can find innovative ways to find that pleasure by himself OR you could just help him get there without actively playing a role in the act itself which can be tiring for you.
Talk, communicate, get playful and find ways to get to a balanced state. Most couple have different libidos but that doesn't mean either of the spouses needs to feel guilty, yeah? Just work at it...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 20, 2021

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Dear Love Guru, I have a good husband but we barely have sex. His excuse always is that he is tired. I do everything he wants so he comfortable I have tried the things said in the magazines. I dress nicely, even sexily, but he is not interested. We have sex for the sake of it once a month. Though he is a good man, I am very unhappy. It is too embarrassing to talk to the family and friends about this. K
Ans:

Dear K,

I can understand you being too embarrassed to talk to family or friends about this problem, but you could try speaking to your husband about it directly instead?

Be frank about how your sex life is leaving you unfulfilled and disappointed.

If there is a physical issue, you could both visit a medical expert and then a marriage counsellor if there’s a psychological problem.

For your part, you need to realise that, in a long-term relationship, the frequency of sex does reduce over time.

It can’t always be forced, although I do understand that once in a month is leaving you frustrated with the lack of attention from your husband.

The key to a good sex life is good communication. You have to be honest about how you feel.

Also, I don’t understand the ‘for the sake of it’ part you’ve put in there -- that one time every few weeks, is it he who initiates it or is he only doing so to satisfy you? That information may hold a clue as to why your sex life is on the down low.

It could be simply that his drive doesn’t match yours, in which case you both need to compromise and maybe give in to each other from time to time. Say, once every two weeks to start with?

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 10, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 36 yr old married man and have sex with my wife 2-3 times a month. We both satisfy each other as each session last for 20-25 mins. Only problem is I feel like having sex every single day and my wife doesn't feel the same. What should I do?
Ans: It's common for couples to have different levels of sexual desire, and this difference can sometimes lead to feelings of frustration or dissatisfaction. Here are some steps you can consider to address this situation:

Open Communication: The first and most important step is to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about your desires and feelings. Make sure you approach this discussion with empathy and without judgment.

Listen to Her Perspective: Ask your wife how she feels about the frequency of your sexual encounters. It's important to understand her perspective and any factors that may be contributing to her lower libido, such as stress, health issues, or changes in her life.

Explore the Reasons: Try to understand the reasons behind your different levels of desire. Sometimes, underlying issues like relationship problems, stress, or unresolved emotional issues can affect one's libido.

Seek Professional Help: If the difference in sexual desire is causing significant tension or dissatisfaction in your relationship, consider consulting a sex therapist or couples counselor. They can help you both explore your desires, identify any underlying issues, and work together to find a solution that works for both of you.

Compromise: In many cases, couples find a compromise that works for both partners. This might involve finding ways to enhance your emotional connection outside the bedroom, exploring different ways of being intimate that don't necessarily involve intercourse, or finding activities that both of you enjoy.

Self-Care: It's important for you to take care of your own needs and desires as well. Engage in self-care activities and hobbies that can help you manage your sexual frustration in a healthy way.

Respect Boundaries: It's crucial to respect your wife's boundaries and not pressure her into more frequent sexual activity than she's comfortable with. Consent and mutual desire are essential for a healthy sexual relationship.

Stay Patient and Understanding: Remember that sexual desire can fluctuate over time and may be influenced by various factors. Continue to communicate openly with your partner and be patient as you work through this issue together.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6992 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Money
Sir please review my mutual fund sip portfolio * Axis Mid Cap Fund - Direct Growth = 1000 * ICICI Prudential BHARAT 22 FOF - Direct Plan = 1000 * Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund - Direct Plan = 1000 * Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund - Direct Plan = 1000 * quant Small Cap Fund - Direct Plan Growth = 1000 * SBI Small Cap Fund Direct Growth = 2000 * SBI PSU direct plan growth = 1000 My age is 27 . Looking a long term investment with higher return. Shall I continue this portfolio or any changes required? Kindly give your valuable suggestions . Thank you
Ans: Your portfolio looks well-constructed, with a strong foundation in mid-cap, small-cap, and flexi-cap funds. Each fund you've chosen reflects a strategic approach for growth. Let's evaluate each category and make any necessary suggestions to ensure you achieve the best potential returns over the long term.

Overview of Your Current Portfolio
You’ve diversified well across categories, with each fund serving a unique role. Let’s analyze the strengths and potential improvements in each area of your portfolio.

Mid-Cap Funds
Mid-cap funds, like the one in your portfolio, focus on companies with substantial growth potential but higher risk compared to large-cap companies. Over the long term, these funds often outperform due to their growth-focused nature.

However, consider monitoring this fund periodically. Mid-cap stocks can face higher volatility, which may impact returns if held solely without re-evaluation.

Small-Cap Funds
Small-cap funds are growth-oriented, targeting smaller companies with significant room for expansion. You’ve allocated well to this category, focusing on funds with robust track records.

Due to their volatile nature, however, they can experience sharp swings. A Certified Financial Planner can offer guidance to rebalance if necessary, which could enhance returns and help you avoid undue risk over the long term.

Flexi-Cap Funds
Flexi-cap funds have the flexibility to invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies, making them versatile. This allocation ensures that you have exposure to high-growth stocks while benefiting from the stability of large-cap stocks.

This type of fund aligns well with your long-term goal as it can balance risk across market cycles. Continue with this allocation for stable yet high-growth potential.

Sectoral Funds (Public Sector & PSU Funds)
Sectoral funds focused on PSUs add a thematic angle to your portfolio, providing exposure to government-linked companies. Such funds may perform well during economic growth phases or government-led initiatives but might also experience phases of underperformance.

For long-term investors like you, relying heavily on sectoral funds can add cyclical risk. A diversified equity fund may offer higher long-term growth with less risk than sector-specific investments.

Evaluation of Direct Fund Plans
Sir, investing through direct plans saves on expense ratios, which may seem beneficial at first. However, there are significant drawbacks:

Lack of Advisory Support: Direct plans don't offer professional guidance. Over time, tracking and rebalancing become crucial, and a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) with an MFD (Mutual Fund Distributor) credential ensures optimal management.

Market Cycles and Rebalancing: Without expert oversight, you could miss critical adjustments during volatile market phases, affecting returns. A CFP helps in such rebalancing for better performance.

Tax Implications and Withdrawals: Selling or withdrawing from mutual funds, especially equity funds, incurs tax. Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity mutual funds are taxed at 12.5% for gains above Rs 1.25 lakh, while short-term gains (STCG) incur 20%. A regular plan with an MFD provides ongoing tax-efficient strategies.

Opting for regular plans via an MFD with a CFP credential will enable you to maximize returns while accessing insights that make a difference long term.

Suggested Modifications for Higher Returns and Stability
Focus on Balanced Funds Over Sectoral Exposure

To limit risks tied to sectoral funds, consider allocating a portion to balanced or diversified funds. These funds balance equity with stable instruments like debt, reducing volatility and sustaining growth.

Revisit Small and Mid-Cap Allocations

With multiple small-cap and mid-cap funds, consider focusing on one fund in each category. Over-diversification in these can dilute returns and increase tracking requirements. A strategic reallocation could yield more focused, consistent growth.

Consider SIP Step-Up for Long-Term Compounding

An annual SIP step-up, even a small amount, could enhance long-term wealth creation significantly. This adjustment boosts your corpus over time and aligns with your long-term goal of maximizing returns.

Seek Guidance from a Certified Financial Planner

Having a CFP manage your portfolio brings personalized insight into market trends, rebalancing, and tax-efficient strategies. A CFP ensures you capitalize on growth while maintaining balance and tax efficiency.

Key Benefits of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds
Sir, I noticed you are not invested in index funds, which is beneficial for your growth objective. Actively managed funds outperform index funds, especially in dynamic market conditions. Here’s why:

Higher Returns Potential: Actively managed funds provide the flexibility to capitalize on changing market opportunities, which index funds lack due to their passive structure.

Adaptive Strategy: Fund managers of actively managed funds adjust to market shifts, providing growth and safety in a fluctuating market.

Downside Protection: During bear markets, actively managed funds can adjust exposure, while index funds simply follow the market downturn. Active management can minimize losses, giving a steadier performance over time.

Final Insights
Sir, you have built a promising portfolio with well-selected funds across categories. A few modifications could ensure a more balanced, growth-oriented, and tax-efficient portfolio. The following adjustments will help you achieve higher returns with sustained stability:

Consider balanced or diversified funds for steadier growth.

Limit mid-cap and small-cap fund overlaps to reduce portfolio complexity.

Use the expertise of a CFP to handle rebalancing, tax efficiency, and market cycle adaptations.

Continue focusing on actively managed funds over index funds, as these provide better long-term value.

Through these steps, you can optimize your portfolio for maximum growth and stability, setting a strong foundation for your long-term investment goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu Mam Im 27 yrs old ( married) and 10 yrs old daughter. Im seperated from my husband since 2 yrs due to several reasons like he is drinking and Totally addicted to it. And he is totally dependent and now today also roaming on the roads of some streets of hyd. I belongs to an orthdox family. Now the question is one backward caste man who is married age : 33 he is interested in me and proposed me to a marriage after knowing all my past and saying that he accepts my child too. And the thing is he said a lie to me at first that he is unmarried and even though i had a good impression on him about the way he behaves with me he even treat me in a very polite manner. He says he loves me even though i too had a good impression but the things are the castes and can we both settle down with a marriage can we be happy or he is only trying to convince me to get him a wife to care care of him or only for his parents, he always talks about his own sister and also the office colleagues calls them sister and get emotional about them those who left the office. And he cries a lot which i dont trust on him and the face i see him that was not an real cry that looks like an act which i dont like in him. May he is acting ? Or really loving me, ge cares alot i feel like he is over reacting
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are in doubt, then it's highly likely that he is putting on an act. Go with your intuition and hey hey, you said that he is married and so are you...You do realize that you just can't go ahead and marry while you are already to other people, right?
Focus on what's happening in your life; you obviously have to do something about it...Other relationships can wait!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1287 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello Ms Anu, I am a 42yr female..married since 14 yrs and have 10yr old son . I am highly qualified and financially independent. My marriage was a arranged one.. but in these 14 yrs.. I never experienced love or and attachment from my husband's side. He is a family man.. there is no other woman involved..He loves his parents and his two sisters immensely... but always treats me as a option. I feel humiliated and lonely and he has short temper when i talk about this issue... so basically I don't discuss... but that is no solution... I am suffering and unhappy. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A few married men can be more focused on the women on their side of the family; it becomes easy to express love, care and attention to them as he has grown with them.
A wife happens to be someone that he is yet to understand. It requires effort to make a marriage work; your husband finds it convenient to take the easy way out and 'hang out' with his family.
So, here you take the lead and start. Start not by bringing forth your complaints as this is going to push him further to them which is going to annoy you BUT by inviting him to be with you. A lot of work, I get it...but the bottom line: that's what you want, right?
Plan dates evenings, take short vacations together, work-out together...the key is to establish a connection which never had its chance in the first place...So, give your best shot! Most times actions speak louder than words ever can...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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