Love Guru |204 Answers |Ask -Follow
Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 20, 2021
Dear Love Guru,
I have a good husband but we barely have sex.
His excuse always is that he is tired.
I do everything he wants so he comfortable
I have tried the things said in the magazines. I dress nicely, even sexily, but he is not interested. We have sex for the sake of it once a month.
Though he is a good man, I am very unhappy. It is too embarrassing to talk to the family and friends about this.
K
Dear K,
I can understand you being too embarrassed to talk to family or friends about this problem, but you could try speaking to your husband about it directly instead?
Be frank about how your sex life is leaving you unfulfilled and disappointed.
If there is a physical issue, you could both visit a medical expert and then a marriage counsellor if there’s a psychological problem.
For your part, you need to realise that, in a long-term relationship, the frequency of sex does reduce over time.
It can’t always be forced, although I do understand that once in a month is leaving you frustrated with the lack of attention from your husband.
The key to a good sex life is good communication. You have to be honest about how you feel.
Also, I don’t understand the ‘for the sake of it’ part you’ve put in there -- that one time every few weeks, is it he who initiates it or is he only doing so to satisfy you? That information may hold a clue as to why your sex life is on the down low.
It could be simply that his drive doesn’t match yours, in which case you both need to compromise and maybe give in to each other from time to time. Say, once every two weeks to start with?
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