Met a guy I like, but he's reserved. How do I ask for a second meeting without sounding desperate?

Ans: understand that you are not responsible for her actions or threats of self-harm. These are tactics of control, and while they may stem from her struggles, they are not your burden to carry. However, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy while prioritizing your own safety and boundaries.

When addressing her threats, avoid reacting emotionally. Stay calm and assertive, and make it clear that while you care about her well-being, her threats are not acceptable. For example, if she threatens self-harm, you can express concern by saying something like, "I’m worried about you, and I think it would be helpful for you to talk to someone who can support you professionally." This shifts the responsibility for her mental health away from you and encourages her to seek help.

You may also consider informing a trusted individual in her life—such as a close friend or family member—about her behavior. This way, someone who knows her can provide the support she needs, reducing the likelihood of her using threats to manipulate you.

Regarding her threats about involving her family or yours, document everything. Keep records of conversations, messages, or any threats she has made. This will be helpful in case the situation escalates and you need to protect yourself legally or socially. If you feel unsafe or believe she might follow through with her threats, consult a legal advisor or seek guidance from local authorities.

It’s also important to have an honest conversation with your father. While it might feel daunting because of his strict nature, being upfront about the situation can help you gain his understanding and support. Explain the steps you’re taking to manage it responsibly and emphasize that you’re prioritizing the family’s dignity and well-being.

Finally, prioritize your mental health. Being in a relationship with someone who uses manipulation can take a significant emotional toll. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate this situation, reinforce healthy boundaries, and support you as you work through any guilt or anxiety. Ending the relationship may not be easy, but it is a necessary step for your well-being and peace of mind.

Ans: The first step in addressing this is to recognize that feelings, while they can be powerful, do not define actions. You’ve already demonstrated a strong commitment to your family by maintaining boundaries and shifting your relationship with your colleague to a purely professional one. This shows a conscious effort to align your actions with your values, which is an important foundation.

It’s also important to reflect on what might have contributed to these feelings. They may not solely be about your colleague as a person but could also reflect unmet emotional needs, stress, or the appeal of a connection that feels easy and understanding during a challenging time in your life. Identifying these underlying factors can help you understand yourself better and redirect your energy toward strengthening your emotional connection with your family.

Managing the proximity with your colleague at work is understandably challenging. To maintain your professional relationship while protecting your personal boundaries, consider setting clear mental and emotional limits. Focus conversations strictly on work-related topics, avoid situations that might blur boundaries, and remind yourself regularly of your commitment to your family and the life you’ve built with them.

It might also help to channel the emotional energy you’ve felt toward this colleague into enhancing your relationship with your spouse. Reinvesting in your marriage—through shared activities, open communication, or even small gestures of affection—can help renew your bond and remind you of what is truly meaningful in your life.

If these feelings continue to linger and cause distress, speaking with a therapist or counselor could provide a safe space to process your emotions and explore strategies to cope. They can help you navigate this situation in a way that aligns with your values and preserves your emotional well-being.

The fact that you are seeking advice and prioritizing your family shows that you are deeply committed to doing the right thing. With time, effort, and self-awareness, you can navigate these emotions and maintain integrity in both your personal and professional life.

Ans: Your wife's past, though painful and hidden, appears to stem from decisions made at a young and vulnerable time in her life. Her secrecy was likely rooted in fear—of judgment, rejection, or being misunderstood. This doesn’t excuse the dishonesty, but it can offer insight into why she made the choices she did. Her confession, while delayed, shows vulnerability and trust in sharing something so deeply personal and painful. It also highlights her struggle to come to terms with her past and the scars it left, both physically and emotionally.

Divorce is a life-altering decision that should not be taken lightly, especially when you have invested years into this relationship. Before making such a decision, consider what truly matters to you in a partner and a marriage. Ask yourself whether this betrayal is something you believe you could work through with time, communication, and potentially professional guidance. Couples therapy could provide a safe space to explore these feelings, address the breach of trust, and determine whether rebuilding is possible.

It’s also worth reflecting on whether your decision is primarily influenced by her inability to conceive easily or by the breach of trust. Fertility challenges can be deeply emotional, but they are not insurmountable. Many couples facing similar issues have found joy through alternative paths to parenthood, such as medical interventions, surrogacy, or adoption. The honesty aspect, however, might require a deeper exploration of whether you can rebuild trust and feel secure in the relationship moving forward.

If you ultimately decide that this relationship is no longer viable for you, it’s important to approach the decision with empathy and respect. An amicable separation, grounded in a shared understanding of your reasons, can be a way to honor the time and emotions both of you have invested in this marriage.

Conversely, if there is still love and a willingness to navigate these challenges together, it may be possible to transform this crisis into an opportunity for deeper connection, understanding, and growth. Healing from this situation will require effort from both sides—honest communication, emotional openness, and a shared commitment to moving forward.

Ultimately, the best path is the one aligned with your values, emotional well-being, and long-term vision for your life.

Ans: Instead of letting the dream affect you negatively, use it as an opportunity to reflect on your emotional state. Are there areas in your relationship where you can deepen connection or rekindle excitement? Or perhaps this dream is reminding you of the value of acknowledging and letting go of the past to stay fully present with your current life and relationship.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you want to forgive him or not is your decision. But I would wonder if he has confessed all of it. The risk of carrying infections from visiting these places is heavy; so before jumping into any physical act with him, do suggest to him that he gets himself tested. He may oppose it, but be firm on it.
You love him and that's all okay...But is he in love with you OR is he wants to be with you because his family is involved as well?

What is a red flag is the fact that he was still visiting red light areas while he was in a relationship with you. Do you not want to know why? Do you not want to know what makes him beg for your forgiveness now? Till such time that you are satisfied and you can trust him again, do not act in a hurry.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
And what makes the husband not appreciate her achievements? Is he not happy with that? Does he feel insecure with her achievements?
Why is the husband suffering? What is making the husband helpless?

Kindly share more information by answering the questions above. If you or whoever you are writing on behalf of wants guidance, complete information is always important.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: VERY FEW PEOPLE ARE SATISFIED WITH THEIR JOB IN THIS WORLD. BECAUSE FOR MORE MONEY THEY JUMP INTO OTHER SECTORS. DECISION DECIDES DESTINY. FIRST YOU FIX YOUR PATH (ONLY ONE) AND AFTER THAT CONTACT ME. BEST OF LUCK. MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Professor...............................:)

Ans: Don't be disappointed.
Don’t think about others.
Scoring 86% in +2 is commendable, and a score of 404 in NEET is not too bad either. You might have been distracted by a few things. Do you plan to reappear for NEET? If so, prepare effectively for the exam.

Additionally, you might consider alternative courses such as BNYS, BAMS, or BSMS, which are equivalent to medicine.