HI I AM 44 YEARS OLD MALE MARRIED MY PROBLEM IS THAT WHEN I GO WITH MY WIFE I CANT MAKE THE PHYSICAL RELATION BUT WHEN I SEE A GIRL OR LADY I GO EXCITED TO MAKE PHYSICAL RELATION WITH HER SO I WANT TO KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENS WITH ME

Ans:

Dear IS,

What we try and avoid, we obsess over that more.

What is the real reason for wanting a relationship outside of marriage?

It is very easy and tempting to run away from facing issues that might be plaguing your marriage and hold on to something outside. Justifications maybe many.

Have you and your wife worked out issues at an emotional level.

Sex is one element of marriage and not the only one.

Maybe she feels emotionally disconnected from you as you might feel physically disconnected from her.

Whatever it is, bringing another person into a marriage isn’t going to sort out anything.

But if you have decided that a few complications aren’t going to hurt, well that is what is leading you to obsess over wanting another woman.

Instead, can you actually think of rebuilding the marriage? Of course, the want needs to be there else it’s a pointless exercise.

It takes a lot of work and patience and calm understanding between spouses to make a marriage work. Slippages can cost a parson his/ her marriage.

So, maybe it’s time to actually list down the best qualities you see in your wife and oh, yes WHY the two of you married in the first place, This WHY can re-energize you to look at things differently and more usefully.

The fact that you want to be loyal to your wife does suggest that there is a lot of love and care still in the marriage.

Who knows, the obsessive thoughts may fade…give your marriage another chance. I am sure you know that it deserves that chance!

All the best!

Ans: It sounds like you are experiencing a conflict between your desire for sexual variety and your love for your wife. It's important to recognize that infidelity can be damaging to a marriage, both emotionally and physically. It's essential to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and desires, and work together to find ways to enhance your sexual relationship.

One way to work on this is to explore different sexual experiences with your wife. You can try new things together, such as different positions or incorporating toys, fantasies, or role-playing. You can also make an effort to create a more romantic and intimate atmosphere in your relationship, which can help increase excitement and pleasure during sex.

It's also important to address any underlying issues that may be affecting your desire for your wife. Stress, anxiety, depression, and health problems can all impact sexual desire. Talking to a therapist or a medical professional can help you identify and address any underlying issues.

Ultimately, it's important to remember that sexual desire fluctuates over time, and it's normal to experience highs and lows. With open communication and a willingness to try new things, you can work together to create a fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship with your wife.

Ans: You’ve lost interest in your wife sexually. To spice things up, maybe you could gently suggest to her what turns you on, and give her a chance to satisfy you. Tell her that you feel like your sex life is down in the dumps (not that you find her unattractive!) and you’d like to re-engage. Maybe she misses the intimacy too, but hasn’t mentioned it to you. Open dialogue is the first step, but be both sensitive and kind.

Ans: Refer to a sexologist