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Arranged Marriage Turned Toxic: How to Cope with Manipulative, Insecure, and Abusive Indian Parents?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 21, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu, I got married about 6 years ago. It was an arranged marriage. But it was I who went alone to see her. We got married after 10 months. All things are good between us. However my parents are very controlling. Initially they were not living with us. So there was not much of issues but since the birth my daughter they have made out life hell. My wife asked to visit her mother's place and my parents went nuts over this. They are very controlling. My elder sister who I think is emotional immature, initially supported us but things went south after she came to our home on Rakshabandhan last year. My wife wanted to go to her brother's house but my parents wanted his brother to come. Initially my sister didn't mind but my parents pressured her and she chicken out instead of supporting us. Now she is full on toxic and has convince herself that she is right. Since that incident my parents confidence has grown. My father started using abusive words with me but not in front of my wife. Soon they left us but they keep ob giving us mental torture. I always call them and then never tell me speak. They give bad wishes to us but sometimes says they never wish for us. Now they have started posting in family group and how the new generation is not respecting parents. They emotionally blackmailing me to get the things in their favour. I think they have my wife. They would have hated had it been some other women. From last one year I have built lots of tolerance. Earlier I used to get sleepless nights. But they keep on abusive me whenever they start this topic. I think this is quite a common problem. I need advice on how to handle typical manipulate, insecure and abusive Indian parents.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Extreme interference in anyone's life including your own children is unwanted and uncalled for.
Your parents find that a way to control you and your family. Sadly, there are not able to see how this is in fact, driving you away from all the drama.
Now, since you have chosen to stay away from this drama, kindly move on and since they don't live with you anymore, there's only a few days in a year that you need to put up with this. Put up because, they will not be willing to change. For them, what they say and do seems right and they are possibly doing that to get your attention. Whatever it is, any environment that causes stress need not be entertained...in this case, you cannot avoid them as they are your parents, but you can pay no heed to what they do or think...
When things don't provoke, then you are in a better mind space to simply remain silent and that is a stronger message to them to back off. Difficult but a better way of dealing with it...When they come live with you for a few days or weeks, make sure you let them know that you will not be party to any drama created by them or your sister. And maintain it at that...When you don't get provoked, there is no more pleasure for a bully to assume a dominant role over the victim, is there?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

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Hi Anu...I dont want to be named but want to share my issues here with you to guidance. Im married and live with my wife and 2 year old son in Noida and my parents lives in some village in UP approx 500 Kms afar. My initial upbriging was done by my Grandparants at separate place till age of 10 so never got any chance to get along with my poarants very well as lived with them for only 4 years then shifted Noida. now the issue issus is my sister who is 5-6 years younger than me has been living with paranets since birth and became very arrogant and irresponsible in life as my parants never tried to correct her instead they always push me to get along citing Im older..she never even accepted my wife and even tried to conspire against my baby boy by filing my mothers mind for years. my parents married her 4 years ago but she dont spend even a month continuously at her inlawa and dont get along with them...she want to sta with my paranets as nobody bothers her in what she wants to do... when anybody try to make her realise that she is wrong she start threating them by saying that she will harm herself...actually she never does. My parents are getting older and dont want to see them suffer mentally and financially anymore but them cant come with me as they have take care of my Great Grandparents..she is too proud to say sorry to me for things she has done but my parents emotionally blackmailing to to talk to her....what should I do...
Ans: Dear R,
Obviously your parents have no clue that their over indulgence in your sister and her life is causing her misery. Their relationship is unhealthy and they are unaware of it...things are sure to go downhill until one of them pulls back...in this case, the ideal thing would be for your parents to pull back and cut financial and emotional support till she starts behaving like an adult and become accountable for herself and her life.
Some people just don't want to grow up...and that is because they have parents or parent figures who fill in their every need and fulfil their every want.
This becomes a habit and when they don't get what they want, they will threaten just like your sister does...she basically likes playing the 'child' and hence your parents are never out of their responsibility of parenting...make them aware that it is enough and a tough stance will set her right and help her build her life.
A grown up must be one and just keep the child alive in them...but here your sister just wants to be the child and keep happily playing thar role as the parents are allowing it...kindly intervene and help your parents understand and do the right thing for their daughter...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2025

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Relationship
Hi ma'am my relationship with my parents r getting sour since a very long time they always want me to do everything that makes them happy and think about their happiness if I think about my happiness they will start fighting with me nd my parents never supported me for anything in my life till today my dad has always said that if she will ever think about her happiness then I'm gonna leave everything nd go nd so does my mom she also threatened me to cut ties with me even I do everything still they taunt me every day that I can't do anything in life my parents never support me they never ask me who I wanna get married to who I'll b happy with what I wanna work what is my goals ngt but it's always about them my grandmother stays 15kms away from my house she has 3 kids and all r well settled but her 2 daughters had a love marriage one to a muslim nd one to a hindu when they were about to get married my mom didn't even raised her voice or opposed that marriage her one daughter ran nd got married to her bf who is a hindu at that tym also my mom nd dad nd my grandmother didn't even say a word nd during Covid 2020 my grandmother got her 2nd daughter married with her bf who is a muslim without informing any of our relatives when I fell in love with a hindu guy my mom separated me from him and she is telling everyone to brainwash me to leave the person I love nd get married to a Christian guy when ever we go to my grandmother's house my mom always start a fight with me we went there for 3 times and all the 3 times she started fighting with me my mom always support my grandmother's children if anything happens to them she will call them 10 tyms and ask how they are when my grandmother was ill treating me my mom didn't even raise her voice nd didn't even take a stand for myself but she was watching everything as a movie is going on when I was crying after we came back to my house my mom didn't even ask me what am I going through when she was seeing me cry everyday she always support my grandmother who did bad with me if they will say not to let her work my mom will listen to her nd her daughters but she will never listen to me and my grandmother started forcing me to get married to a Christian guy nd i should also listen to her nd not to think about my happiness nd what makes me happy in life what should I do I'm completely shattered ma'am nd i don't have anyone to share my pain with even if I do they will support my parents only bcoz of all this I'm not able to concentrate on anything at all
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
Right now, your emotions are tangled in hurt, anger, and helplessness, but you are not powerless. The first thing you need to do is detach emotionally from their guilt-tripping. You cannot live your entire life trying to please people who refuse to acknowledge your needs. It’s okay to love and respect your parents, but not at the cost of losing yourself.

Start setting boundaries, even if it feels impossible at first. If they constantly taunt you, limit conversations with them. If they threaten to cut ties, remind yourself that love should not be conditional. If they refuse to support you, find strength within yourself. You are already surviving without their emotional backing, which means you are stronger than you think.

As for your relationship, you need to ask yourself—are you willing to sacrifice your happiness just to avoid family drama? If you truly love this person and see a future together, you will need to stand firm in your decision. Love requires courage, and choosing your happiness is not selfish—it’s necessary.

You are not alone in this. Many people fight similar battles with families who refuse to understand. But at the end of the day, this is your life. You deserve love, respect, and the right to make your own choices. No matter what happens, never let their words make you believe you are unworthy of happiness. Keep fighting for yourself, because you deserve it.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8235 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2025Hindi
Money
I want to invest in my daughter's education. She is 3 years now. I am investing in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana. I would like to invest Rs 10,000 to Rs 15,000 every month for her education and future. Can you please suggest the best schemes?
Ans: It’s truly wonderful that you’re thinking about your daughter’s education early.
This habit of planning ahead gives her a strong foundation.

Let’s look at the best way to invest Rs 10,000 to Rs 15,000 monthly.
We will build a 360-degree plan that is simple, stress-free, and goal-focused.

Understanding the Time Horizon
Your daughter is now 3 years old.

You need funds in two stages – school and college.

School needs may arise in 5 to 8 years.

Higher education needs come in 12 to 15 years.

This gives us two time horizons – medium-term and long-term.

Your strategy must match these time goals for right growth.

Your Existing Investment: Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana
This is a good step.

The interest is tax-free.

It gives capital safety and fixed returns.

But returns are not high enough to beat future inflation.

So, this is only a partial solution.

You must add growth-oriented investments for better wealth.

Risk and Reward Balance
Since the goal is more than 10 years away, equity helps.

Equity gives higher returns over the long term.

But it has ups and downs in the short run.

Don’t worry, we will balance this with stable options.

Let us now split your monthly investment.

Suggested Investment Structure (Rs 15,000 Monthly Plan)
You can adjust to Rs 10,000 also.
The structure stays same.

1. Equity Mutual Funds – Rs 9,000
Invest in actively managed equity mutual funds.

Choose diversified funds with consistent past performance.

Actively managed funds are handled by expert fund managers.

They aim to beat the market.

These funds can give better returns than index funds.

Index funds only follow the market.

They don’t protect you in falling markets.

In your case, beating inflation is more important.

So, avoid index funds. Choose regular active mutual funds.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner or MFD.

Don’t invest directly.

Direct funds look cheaper but give poor guidance.

You may miss fund reviews, rebalancing, or right asset mix.

A Certified Financial Planner ensures your portfolio stays aligned to your goal.

2. Hybrid or Balanced Mutual Funds – Rs 3,000
These funds mix equity and debt.

They reduce risk, and give more stable returns.

Use them for medium-term needs.

School education and coaching expenses may start in 5–7 years.

These funds give moderate returns with lower risk than pure equity.

Invest regularly through SIPs.

Keep investing even during market ups and downs.

3. Debt Fund or Short-Term Recurring Deposit – Rs 2,000
Use this for very short-term or emergency school needs.

Or yearly fees, books, school trips, etc.

Recurring deposits give capital safety and fixed returns.

You can also use debt mutual funds.

These have slightly better tax benefits if held long.

But debt fund returns are now taxed like interest.

Both options are safe and useful for predictable needs.

Investment Planning for Rs 10,000 Monthly Option
If you want to start with Rs 10,000, here is the split.

Rs 6,000 in equity mutual funds (long term)

Rs 2,500 in hybrid mutual funds (medium term)

Rs 1,500 in RD or debt funds (short term)

Benefits of SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans)
SIP builds discipline.

You invest monthly without timing the market.

It gives compounding benefits.

You average the cost by buying in both low and high markets.

SIPs are best for long-term goals like education.

Why Not Index Funds or ETFs?
Index funds copy the market.

They don’t aim to beat it.

No protection in falling markets.

No professional risk management.

Your goal needs customised solutions.

Active funds give this edge.

ETFs are passive. You also need a Demat account.

They suit traders more than long-term savers.

Avoid them for your child’s goal.

Why Not Direct Plans?
Direct funds skip distributor cost.

But they give no human advice.

You are alone to monitor, rebalance, and manage.

Over 15 years, this becomes difficult.

Mistakes can reduce your final amount.

Better to invest via regular plans with Certified Financial Planner.

You get proper handholding and goal tracking.

You can revise portfolio when goals or risks change.

Review and Rebalance Every Year
Your SIPs must be reviewed every year.

You may need to change funds or amount.

Your daughter’s education needs may increase.

So, rebalancing is important.

Don’t keep investing blindly.

Check performance yearly with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.

Create a Goal-Based Investment Tracker
Write your goal in a book or Excel file.

Write monthly SIP, total invested, and expected returns.

Track this once every year.

This gives motivation and clarity.

You will know if you are on track.

Prepare an Emergency Backup
Education plans can face surprises.

Health issues or job loss may affect savings.

Keep a separate emergency fund for 6–12 months expenses.

Don't use your daughter’s fund for other needs.

This helps you stay committed to her dream.

Prepare Mentally for Long Term
Market may go up and down.

Don’t stop SIPs in bad times.

These phases give the best returns later.

Stay patient and goal-focused.

Avoid panic decisions.

Every rupee invested today brings peace later.

Education Inflation is Real
Education costs are rising 8–10% every year.

A Rs 15 lakh course today may cost Rs 30 lakh in 15 years.

Only growth investments can beat this.

Bank FDs and fixed deposits will not be enough.

Use Sukanya for stability and mutual funds for growth.

Tax Considerations You Should Know
Equity mutual funds give tax benefit if sold after 1 year.

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains taxed as per your income slab.

Sukanya returns are tax-free.

NPS has tax benefit also, but partial withdrawal only.

Diversify in a Smart Way
Use 3–4 good mutual fund schemes.

Not more than that.

Too many funds confuse tracking.

Keep it simple.

Focus on long-term performance and fund quality.

Add a Term Plan for Yourself
If you’re the earning parent, take term insurance.

It protects your daughter’s education in case of your absence.

Don’t mix insurance with investment.

ULIPs or money-back plans are not suitable.

Take pure term plan. Low premium and high cover.

Don’t Stop SIPs Midway
Many parents stop SIPs after few years.

Don’t do that.

Continue till her college admission.

You will be thankful later.

Start Early, Benefit More
Your daughter is just 3.

You have 15 years.

Starting early gives big compounding benefits.

Even small monthly SIPs become big corpus.

Educate Your Child Gradually
As your daughter grows, teach her about money.

Let her understand savings and goals.

This habit will help her in adult life.

Finally
Planning your daughter’s future is a noble goal.
You have already started the right steps.

Sukanya Yojana gives stability.
Mutual funds give long-term growth.

Use SIPs in actively managed regular plans.
Take guidance from a Certified Financial Planner.

Keep goals written and reviewed.
Invest every month without fail.

Let your money work while you sleep.
And your daughter’s dreams grow strong.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8235 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2025Hindi
Money
I have sip of 15k in mutual fund & 5k in stock also 1.5k rd, 1k sukanya samriddhi nps 18k pf 7k how much can be amount after 20 years.
Ans: You are already on a steady path.

Your monthly investments are spread across mutual funds, stocks, RD, NPS, PF and Sukanya Samriddhi. A well-diversified structure like this can give strong long-term results.

Let us now look at each part closely.

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Mutual Fund SIP – Rs 15,000 per month

This is the core of your long-term wealth growth.

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Equity mutual funds can give higher returns than FDs or RDs.

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Actively managed funds are better than index funds in many ways.

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Fund managers adjust the portfolio as per market conditions.

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Index funds follow the market blindly without any strategy.

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Your Rs 15,000 SIP for 20 years can become a big amount.

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Discipline is the key. Keep investing without stopping during market falls.

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Use regular plans through MFDs guided by a Certified Financial Planner.

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Direct plans may look cheaper but come with zero guidance or monitoring.

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A regular plan gives long-term relationship-based advice from a certified expert.

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A well-managed SIP for 20 years can build wealth over Rs 1 crore.

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Keep reviewing SIP performance every year with your planner.

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Make changes only if fund consistently underperforms for 2-3 years.

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Stock Investment – Rs 5,000 per month

Investing in stocks shows good risk-taking ability.

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Stock investment can give higher growth than other options.

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But it needs more knowledge and time to track companies.

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Stocks can be volatile. So, stay calm during market ups and downs.

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Avoid panic selling when markets crash.

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Long holding gives the best results in stocks.

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After 20 years, even this Rs 5,000 per month can become a sizeable amount.

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Prefer quality businesses with strong track record and future potential.

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If unsure, shift this to mutual funds under expert guidance.

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Recurring Deposit – Rs 1,500 per month

RD is safe, but returns are low compared to other options.

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RD interest is fully taxable as per your income tax slab.

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Over 20 years, RD will give lowest return in your portfolio.

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You can keep it only for short-term goals or emergency reserve.

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For long-term, shift this to equity mutual funds.

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Or you can put in hybrid mutual funds for slightly lower risk.

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Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana – Rs 1,000 per month

This is a very good scheme for girl child.

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It is safe and backed by the government.

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Interest is tax-free. Maturity is also tax-free.

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Lock-in until 21 years, so it suits long-term education/marriage goal.

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Keep contributing regularly to get maximum maturity benefit.

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You can expect a large corpus after 21 years with steady investment.

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Ideal for disciplined investors who want safe and tax-free returns.

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NPS – Rs 18,000 per month

NPS helps to build retirement corpus over long term.

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Investment is split between equity and debt automatically.

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You can also choose allocation yourself with active choice.

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Equity part can grow well in long term.

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Returns are market-linked, but more stable than pure equity.

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There is lock-in till age 60, so ideal for retirement goal only.

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After retirement, partial amount is tax-free.

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Some part must be used to buy pension (annuity), which is taxable.

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Although annuity is compulsory in NPS, you can plan withdrawals smartly.

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NPS of Rs 18,000 monthly can build a large retirement fund.

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Keep track of performance every year and rebalance if needed.

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Provident Fund – Rs 7,000 per month

EPF or PPF is a low-risk long-term savings tool.

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Interest is tax-free and withdrawal is also tax-free.

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Suits conservative investors looking for safe capital.

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PF works well with equity for balanced growth.

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You already have good exposure across products, which is positive.

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Over 20 years, this amount grows slowly but steadily.

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Don’t stop contributions. It’s your retirement backup.

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You can also open Voluntary PF to increase savings.

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Expected Total Value After 20 Years

Your total monthly savings is Rs 47,500.

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This is very strong commitment for your future.

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With average returns, you may build Rs 2.5 crore to Rs 3 crore.

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If equity performs well, you may reach Rs 3.5 crore or more.

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This depends on discipline, patience and smart review every year.

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Market ups and downs are normal. Stay focused on the 20-year goal.

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Avoid stopping SIPs during crisis. That’s when real wealth is built.

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Diversification helps to reduce risk and increase stability.

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Your current portfolio is well-diversified across equity, debt, and government schemes.

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It is the right balance for long-term investors.

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360 Degree Suggestions for Better Results

Do annual review of all investments with a Certified Financial Planner.

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Check if asset allocation needs to be changed based on your age and goals.

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Increase SIP amount every year as income grows.

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Shift RD money to mutual funds or hybrid funds for better returns.

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Continue Sukanya Samriddhi regularly for daughter’s future.

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Monitor NPS and PF for performance and tax efficiency.

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Avoid direct stocks if you don’t have time or expertise.

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Do not invest in index funds or ETFs.

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Index funds give average returns without any flexibility.

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Active mutual funds have skilled fund managers who track markets better.

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Use regular mutual fund plans through a CFP and MFD channel.

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Direct plans look cheaper but offer no advice or monitoring.

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Regular plan ensures review and goal tracking with expert help.

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Do not invest in real estate unless for own use. It gives low rental returns.

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No need for annuities. They lock your money with low returns.

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Focus on growth-oriented, flexible investment tools like mutual funds.

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Create an emergency fund with at least 6 months’ expenses.

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Take term insurance to protect your family financially.

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Health insurance should also cover family members adequately.

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Tax Rules to Remember

Mutual Fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

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STCG in mutual funds is taxed at 20%.

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RD interest is taxed as per your income slab.

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Sukanya Samriddhi, NPS (partial), PF – tax-free on maturity.

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Plan withdrawals smartly to save taxes in future.

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Finally

You are doing a great job by saving across different tools.

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This structure can give you financial freedom and peace of mind.

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With smart review and regular investing, your 20-year goals can be fulfilled easily.

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Stay committed. Be patient. Don’t chase quick profits.

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Keep it simple. Focus on goals and expert-guided investment.

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Best Regards,
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K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
?
Chief Financial Planner,
?
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8235 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2025

Money
I want to invest in my childs education born in 2023. What is the best thing in the market?
Ans: Absolutely appreciate your intention to invest early for your child’s education.

This is a thoughtful and wise move.

Your child born in 2023 will likely need funds for college around 2040.

That gives you a long investment horizon of 15+ years.

This gives enough time for compounding to work well.

Let me share a 360-degree investment roadmap for this goal.

This plan is written in a simple tone but with professional depth.

Let us now explore the best available options in the market today.

Understand the Nature of the Goal
Education is a non-negotiable goal.

You cannot postpone or compromise it easily.

It is a high-cost goal due to inflation in education fees.

Hence, your investment must beat education inflation.

Regular savings in a bank will not be enough.

You need growth assets with better long-term returns.

Also, safety and discipline are important.

Tax efficiency matters because the goal is long-term.

You must track progress regularly and adjust if needed.

You must not withdraw before maturity, even during emergencies.

Begin with a Clear Goal Plan
Estimate the year your child will need funds.

For UG courses, it could be in 2040.

For PG, it may be 2043 or later.

Estimate cost of education in today’s value.

Then adjust for education inflation.

Usually, education inflation is around 8–10%.

Do not ignore living costs, books, and hostel fees.

Add buffer for foreign education or special courses.

Split the goal into 2 phases: UG and PG.

Assign different timelines and amounts to each.

Then plan SIPs or lump sums accordingly.

Why Fixed Deposits Are Not Suitable
FD returns are lower than education inflation.

Tax on FD interest reduces actual returns.

Compounding works poorly in FDs.

FDs do not allow automatic step-up in investment.

They also don’t offer any growth during long tenure.

Reinvesting maturity amount each time is inefficient.

Your long-term wealth will remain stagnant.

They are only okay for short-term parking.

Not ideal for a 15 to 20-year education goal.

Avoiding Index Funds for Education Planning
Index funds only copy the market.

They lack human intelligence and decision-making.

They do not outperform in volatile markets.

They carry full market risk without active adjustment.

In falling markets, they fall fully with no defense.

Index funds cannot shift from poor sectors.

Actively managed funds can change strategy mid-way.

Fund managers can shift to better sectors.

Hence, for education goals, prefer active mutual funds.

Debt Mutual Funds: Use Them Carefully
Debt funds are useful for short-term education goals.

Also useful 2-3 years before goal maturity.

They reduce risk from sudden equity fall.

But returns are not high for long-term.

Tax treatment is as per income tax slab.

You may pay more tax if in higher slab.

So use debt funds only during last few years.

Do not start education investing with them.

Gold ETFs or Sovereign Gold Bonds: Limited Use
Gold may give inflation-like returns over time.

But it is not consistent year after year.

No dividend or income from gold investment.

Gold prices can stay flat for years.

SGBs are tax-free after 8 years, but lack flexibility.

Hence, use only 5–10% of corpus in gold.

Do not depend only on gold for education goal.

Best Core Strategy: Active Mutual Funds
These are managed by skilled fund managers.

They aim to beat market by smart decisions.

They adjust portfolio based on market situation.

They change allocation between sectors and themes.

They select good companies and avoid weak ones.

Over long term, they can outperform passive funds.

Also, they are well-regulated and transparent.

SIP in active funds gives rupee cost averaging.

Over 15 years, this can create strong corpus.

These are ideal for long-term child education needs.

Disadvantages of Direct Plans
In direct funds, you invest without any guidance.

You need to monitor and rebalance yourself.

Most investors do not review portfolio regularly.

No help to handle underperforming funds.

No one reminds or guides you during market changes.

You may miss out on newer, better opportunities.

Wrong selection or wrong asset mix causes damage.

Instead, choose regular plans through Certified Financial Planner.

You get professional support with goal-based planning.

You stay on track and reduce mistakes.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Best Route
SIP builds habit and discipline in investing.

It removes the pressure of timing the market.

Even small amounts can become big with time.

You can increase SIP every year as income grows.

It helps in averaging cost during market ups and downs.

You remain invested even during market falls.

SIP is a good match for long-term education goals.

Use Step-up SIP for Higher Growth
Step-up SIP means increasing SIP yearly.

This matches your salary or business growth.

It helps beat inflation better over 15 years.

You invest more without much effort.

This results in higher maturity amount.

A Certified Financial Planner can help calculate ideal step-up.

Mix of Equity Mutual Funds Based on Child’s Age
When your child is 0 to 10 years old:

Allocate 90–100% to equity mutual funds.

Use a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap and mid-cap funds.

Add small-cap only if you can tolerate volatility.

Avoid thematic or sectoral funds now.

Keep it simple and diversified.

When your child turns 11–13 years:

Gradually reduce mid- and small-cap exposure.

Shift 20–30% into conservative hybrid funds.

Reduce equity to about 70–80%.

From 14–16 years onward:

Move 40–60% to short-duration debt funds.

This will protect the goal from equity volatility.

Keep rest in flexi-cap and large-cap funds.

1–2 years before goal:

Move entire corpus to liquid and short-term debt funds.

Ensure capital is safe and ready for use.

Use Goal Tracker Every Year
Track if your corpus is growing as per plan.

Review fund performance every year.

Replace underperforming funds with better ones.

Adjust SIP amount if needed.

Increase SIP if inflation rises more than expected.

Use XIRR to check overall returns.

A Certified Financial Planner will do this yearly.

Use Separate Folio for Education Goal
Don’t mix this goal with other investments.

Use one folio for this specific purpose.

This gives clear visibility and control.

You won’t accidentally withdraw for other needs.

It keeps your mental focus intact.

Insurance is Not Investment
Do not mix insurance with child education.

Avoid ULIPs, endowment plans or money-back policies.

They give poor returns and long lock-in.

Mostly 3–5% return only, after charges.

Instead, buy pure term insurance separately.

Invest remaining in good mutual funds.

If you hold any investment-cum-insurance policy:

Do a cost-benefit analysis.

If returns are low, surrender and reinvest.

Redeem carefully to avoid exit load or tax.

Emergency Fund and Term Insurance
Always keep 6–12 months expense as emergency fund.

This avoids breaking child investment during crisis.

Use liquid mutual funds or FD for this.

Also buy term insurance to protect child’s goal.

It should cover at least 15–20 times your annual income.

If anything happens to you, the child’s goal stays safe.

Tax Impact and Smart Withdrawals
Equity MF gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

This applies only after one year holding.

If sold within 1 year, 20% tax applies.

For debt funds, tax as per income tax slab.

Plan withdrawals over 2–3 financial years.

This reduces tax burden and keeps money liquid.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide tax-efficient exit.

Avoid Lump Sum Late Investment
Don’t wait to invest in final 3–5 years.

Lump sum at that time is risky and stressful.

It may coincide with market downturn.

Start early and do SIP consistently.

Early investment reduces pressure later.

Final Insights
Starting early is your biggest advantage.

You already made a great first step.

Continue SIPs for 15 years with discipline.

Do not panic during market fluctuations.

Review every year with a Certified Financial Planner.

Adjust based on inflation, market and child’s career path.

Keep insurance separate and invest only in mutual funds.

Never stop SIP mid-way unless emergency.

Child’s future deserves consistent planning and care.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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