Hi Anu I am 52 , I am in a relationship with a man of 54 years who loves me & I too love him . I am in this relationship for companionship & for emotion. My story : We have been in relationship for 6 years now . Everything was fine till the time I obeyed him emotionally and financially. Stood by him in most of the travels took care of everything . The moment I started taking care of my finance and invested the funds thru his friend he labelled me betrayal lady as his friends put some words against me and thus goes the relationship. In another episode with nothing to think wrong he has cooked a story in his mind and abuses me and accuses me . It’s been 2 years that I am crucified for this each day . So these are the misunderstandings against me and when I clear it to him he DOES not believe me . he thinks I am lying and every time he ask the answer is the same He believes his people more than me . I was always with him emotionally and helped him financially to the extend for lakhs and lakhs . The moment he assassinated my character I told him to give back all the money , but is been 2 years and more that even a penny is not returned but I still get abused and accused each day. due to the misunderstanding the relationship has turned toxic ( I feel) . He keeps blaming me and yes he does not TRUST me . But at the same time he shows love and after few days he goes into his cell of abusing my character . Where nothing wrong has happened …. He just overthinks and spoils the beautiful relationship. Kindly advice Warm regards Gouri Dey

Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.

Dear Love Guru, First of all, I want to stay pretty anonymous. Secondly, it feels weird to discuss it with an unknown individual and never did I in my wildest dream thought that I would be seeking an advice. However, here I am...  The story starts when I met this individual in the UAE who is originally from UP, Saharanpur. This guy initially tried to get closer to me as much as he could and once he succeeded by becoming my close one, we just hit off pretty well. It went to point of engagement Roka. I wasn't there in India for Roka. It happened with him, his family and my parents. Everything was dreamy and nice until he started changing his behaviour towards my parents and then me, he was abusing me with money. He put me into credit card debts. I was feeling horrible. I started to revoke his access to my card, my everything, and I decided to call it a quit. In return when he understood that I am going to dump him he played his cards. As he couldn't find any cheating in my case when I was with him he decided to dig my past and started torturing me. He created a story to humiliate me at the work place and in front of people. He turned the tables by stating that I'm not dumping him rather he is. It was so heartbreaking for me. I left my job I left my life in the UAE all coz of this guy. And now after 2 months he is keeping an eye on me through to social media. Also he is trying to contact me by asking how I am. I don't understand what he wants and I am unable to recover.  Seeking your help.  Thanks. 

Dear Anu Krishna, I've been married to a person who has never valued nor cared about me for last 30 years. But I've never ever considered to rethink as I'm hailing from a conservative family. Not even when my husband had both his kidneys damaged n after a period of around 3 years serious medical treatment from various hospitals n various other kind of places then subsequent dialysis thrice a week for almost 3 years then his major transplant surgery then his vigilant care , which is very very important in this case .All this period starting from my marriage of 30+ years , I kept doing everything for him when only my school going 2 sons were there to support him along with my 90 yrs old mother in law ,who was bed ridden ( & could only manage to walk upto her washroom). I managed it all successfully n financial burden was taken care of by my company ( I've been managing everything along with my PSU job) .With the grace of God ????,my husband got all right n started with his business again n slowly got over everything along with her lady partner in business. Problem arises when again he started behaving in the same way as prior to his kidneys issues ( scolding me every now n then, belittling me in everything I do that too before neighbours or before the maids even ) . Now once when he abused my late parents n myself around last year (4th May '23) . I just couldn't take it anymore n started thinking what should I do now when my mother had expired just 2 years back n whom I was very close to . Going to live with my married brothers was also not a good option. So at once I decided that since my both sons are settled well now ( both are engineers from reputed institutes but not married yet) , so I'll take a room now n live in that n can take care of myself as I'm still working n since he always warns me of leaving his house ) It happened when around 16th of May , someone from UK ( a British citizen working at a respectable position) as shown in his Linkedin profile contacted me as business lead ( I had just put my first post on 13th May around Mother's day), though later I realised was interested to know about me rather. Immediately I stopped responding to him . Then later when he pursued, I clarified everything to him that I:m a married woman with two sons telling everything about me. Though there must be some confusion as when I told him that my husband was having kidney issues n he is now on life long medicines) I don't know what he could understand with that he kept on pursuing me ( thinking my husband is my ex now) but I think I had also stated having feelings for him n couldn't tell him the truth till now. Though he is more than ready to accept my kids happily as I too loved his 13 year old sweet daughter .( His wife has expired in a brief illness during COVID 3 years back).To my disbelief, inspite of not even meeting once in person, just by chatting n pics exchange, we seem quite similar n have come quite closer emotionally. Now please suggest in this situation,what should I do now?

Hello, I am a 42 year old woman with a 14 year old boy and a 12 year old girl. Ours was an arranged marriage. I got married at age 23 and my husband is just 2 years older to me. Right from the beginning my husband is great at cooking, household chores etc but never expresses romance openly. I was always a emotional woman who slowly turned to him and stopped expressing my needs well. So far out marriage was great cos I avoided confrontations and arguments. Only thing was he was always a critical person and I am emotional girl . Since I cld not express myself clearly as he never heard me, my communication with him sounded nagging, comparing and complaining. In 2011, he cheated on me and I learnt on his affair. I did not know how to process this phase so immediately forgave him within 2-3 days and even ended up being pregnant with my daughter. However he never used to speak on his past affair not were my feelings resolved. Whenever he would speak rudely or yelled at kids or me for little things, the past trauma would trigger and I would openly remind him of his grave mistake. This went on and he would get agitated and keep quiet. One day he did tell me that lifelong he needs to live with this past of me reminding him. But he has never understood the trauma I have gone through. I have just repressed it all along. Cut short 2024- there is lots of resentment with us. In 2022, I saw messages that he exchanged with another lady colleague on romantic songs , good morning messages and they would casually meet for lunch etc . This time I flew in rage and assumed he has cheated on me again. Told him first time I was a fool who didn't notice things right under my nose and now this is the latest. We had a big fight. I reminded him of his dirty past. At first he looked shocked from these allegations and told me he will clarify everything later. But next day in 2022 , when I asked him, he appeared to be a changed man and sounded more confident that he didn't do anything wrong. I pestered him to take me to office, we went to his office I met this lady and politely told her to stop sending good morning messages to my husband. I indirectly told her I have trust issues because of a past but did not elaborate. My husband who had taken me to the office , later was annoyed because apparently the woman colleague was annoyed about me coming to office and also mentioned about my trust issues. At this point this great husband spilt out to her that he had cheated on me. I never ever disclosed anything to her. Later he messaged me saying he was very annoyed and upset that I disclosed the dirty past to his colleague and if anything happens to his job he will never forgive me. I did tell him I never disclosed but he did not belive me. From 2022 until now we are almost in a silent divorce phase. We sleep in different bedroom and only communicate basic stuff on milk, curd , veggies etc He had never connected to me emotionally and would always get annoyed when I wld cry or show my frustrations. Now after all this he has literally cut me off emotionally. In this period from 2022-till now I did try to get back to normal but his vibes are very negative and disconnected. So even I too started distancing myself. During 2022, after the incident he had mentioned on how it is important to work, ve independent and how he favours open relationships ( non sexually). I was always working but earned lesser and used to depend on him a lot. Now I have changed in these 2 years, I have a better job and am not at all dependent on him emotionally, physically or mentally. Infact I pitch in to our household expenses.Our lives are totally disconnected and we there just for the kids. He cooks for all of us, I take care of remaining chores and help them in their studies . We don't attend family events and this has left many guessing on our status. I have lot of unresolved emotions and since he cannot process my emotions or least interested to hear me out I don't know when I will explode. I am just repressing my feelings and keeping a happy cheerful face for the family and kids. We even went for a vacation for kids sake where we just interacted with kids. Kids know things are not allright and pray for us together. I know this isn't healthy for me and I will invite psychosomatic issues in life later on. I am still attached to him and maybe once he expresses a sorry or a remorse and have a hope we can fall back in love again. Why can he never understand that emotional trauma that I have gone through Inspite of being loyal to him always. For once if he just uses kind words and apologises I will forever love him and forget everything.