Dear madam, it’s about my daughter.

She is 22, completed Msc (economics) in IIT-Kharagpur and will join job in July at Gurugram. She 2nd of two kids, son being the 1st, also an IITian, now in the US

She is with us since March 2020, the longest period after 7 years.

She has average intelligence and follows her brother. We never exerted any pressure but always supported her. She strives very hard to reach her goals. In that process she always experiences very tense moments.

She shares all in detail with her mother (some very silly). My wife always listens patiently and extends all the required support.

She also excelled in cultural activities at IIT -- was cast in a lead role in a short film which stood first in the IIT meet.

She was affected by corona during which she did internship with Nomura.

She cleared CFA level 1 in Dec 20 and is continuing her last semester from home. She is very much attached to the family and always insists that we live with her.

At the same time, she is lazy and never inclined to share any work at home. She was and is busy with her studies then and internship now.

She spends most of the day sleeping; working at night, chatting and hardly communicates pleasantries with me and her mother. We do discuss about general things.

During conversations with her mother, she would shout and get upset with anything she dislikes. However she will be very normal with her friends.

I worry silently but my wife is not able to be passive which is resulting in verbal duels frequently for silly or no reason.

My concerns: 1. Her irregular timings – she wakes up at 1 pm,misses breakfast, lunch 2 pm, dinner 10 pm and sleeps sometime after 2 am.

2. She is not exercising.

3. She intervenes in our conversation (between me and my wife) and finds fault with the thinking of my wife.

I routinely console my wife that all will be OK soon. But I find it difficult to convince her.

Importantly I’ve become helpless and speechless whenever both of them indulge in verbal duels.

All my attempts to pacify them are useless.

My request to keep silence is not at all heeded. Both find fault with me for not supporting their points. Both are correct from their angles, however the issues are silly.

Later both shower so much of love and I always wonder whether they even indulged in fierce battle a little while ago.

My concern: How to handle the situation? How to make them silent?

Any advice will be appreciated and followed.