Hi, I am married and I have a one year old boy.
My husband and I were good friends before marriage. After the marriage, for the first few days, he was very loving and caring. But he was reluctant to have physical intimacy and always avoided me. Later on, he started to pick up silly fights whenever I approached him with love. Then fights became a routine in our life. He accused me of being doubtful, jealous and arrogant, but I simply tried to solve the issue with him. At a later stage, his parents and younger brother intervened in the issues and they also had allegations against me.
They even tried to picturise me as a mental patient, who intentionally creates troubles. I was actually feeling lonely when even my parents told me to go for counselling. The psychologist whom I consulted, laughed at their accusations and suggested my husband to consult a family therapist. Even though he was reluctant initially, he came later to see a family therapist. After that, he started to love me, and we lived happily for a few months. Problems started to rise once again, when he came to know that I'm pregnant. He accused me of cheating him and his parents even tried to abort the baby without my knowledge. I opposed abortion, but they intentionally created chaos even in the eighth month of pregnancy. After the birth of the baby, every day, he would shout at me to leave the baby there and go somewhere.
He always said, I have a baby now, I don't want to make love anymore, never ever ask me to have sex. And the toxicity his parents are showing is also humiliating. I have 2 questions.
1. Why is my husband always reluctant to have a physical relationship?
He takes care of the baby well and showers love but neglects me and my needs often.
2. After all this toxicity, is it worth to stay with them? Narcissistic in-laws are making me violent and out of control, at times, harming myself. I am losing my self-esteem and falling into depression, nowadays. Please reply.

I am from Hyderabad. Age 40 years old . My name is XY and I’ve been married for 17 years. I have two boys. Ours is a love marriage.I felt like everything will be good and smooth but right after our elder kid was born my life changed. I am an MBA and several times I told my husband that I’d like to work. He said he’d help when the right time and opportunity comes. Until then I should nurture my kids as it's my responsibility and I should support him. But in the 2015, my kid noticed his chats with another lady. I was shocked because many times he’d refused sex with me. We’d get intimate maybe twice or thrice a year. I thought he was busy or maybe he doesn’t like my body. But when I caught him he said, what is over is over. Don't raise the topic. Leave me. I just kept quiet. He said what ever happened, I will be the same for my kids’ future sake. Many quarrels happened. But in 2020 his behaviour came to light. For example if I said anything, he'd punish me by not speaking to me for months. But he'd want me to wash his clothes and fulfil other necessities at home.Once I opened up and said I want to go for counselling. There he told the doctor, ‘She wants my property but she never allows me to care of my mom. She won't allow me to talk to my friends.’ I was shocked. I told him 'I never asked for money or property. I just want to quit.' I went home and told myself if he repeats this another time I won't take it for granted. But again in the month of February, he continued his behaviour. He shifted to another bedroom for a few months where he’d watch TV and have food. He'd even sleep in the kids’ bedroom. I stopped bothering. At some point, I felt like I deserved someone who trusts me.I want to quit because he thinks I am a loyal maid who will take care of kids and the household. He communicates with like ‘What I should get? Milk veggies etc?’ He never treats me with love and affection. Now everything is spoiled. I want to have a new life. I want to be set free from him. Please suggest what to do.

Anu Krishna |1622 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2022

Question by XY - Sep 22, 2022Hindi

Ans:

Dear XY,

And may I ask what exactly are you waiting for?

Why did you think that by you going for counselling, your husband will change his behaviour towards you?

How is that he cheats on you and still you allow him to treat you this way?

This only shows that you have lost your strength which you need most right now.

What if you were a strong independent woman who has been working?

Would you still subject yourself to this? You know the answer!

Bring back that woman who had dreams, who knew how to walk the path, who knew how a man should treat her, who knew what a marriage really is.

Can you do this?

Your kids need their mother to stand up for herself and do the right thing.

Be the woman who will not settle for anything that disrespects a woman or another human.

Seeing this, they will also know how to treat a woman and what a woman can bring into their lives.

Do the right thing, for yourself and them. Bring back that strong, independent woman who knew this and more.

Best wishes!

Hi Dr. I am 27 year women with a 5 year old girl and 7 months pregnant. I was married 9 years ago. We faced many ups and downs in our life. Three years back , I went to dubai where my husband was working, to spend with him. But as a mobile addict , most of the time he will be on mobile when he was at home or sleeping. We spend little quality time . That too on my or my daughter's insist. Later I got job there as a teacher @ school . I worked there about two years when I got pregnant I return back to my home country. As he was resigned in search of better opportunity, even he is also with me in India now. He is short tempered and whenever he talks he raises his voice. For every single thing he is worried and shouting at me . It makes me feel sad. He is not bothered about my health and if I ask something like fruits to buy he will get angry saying that I am the one who is to manage the expenses and he can't afford buying things for me. He blames me for single thing. I need to ask permission for spending my money. He is in charge of taking care of my money. Main thing that I can't digest from his side is that he demands me to obey him like a slave. He says that how we are to the God , likewise you should obey and bear what ever from his side. Till that my love towards him isn't completed that is what he says. He never ever gives me a chance to explain or communicate my issues. Now I feel emotionally mentally very distant from him. I am staying at my home . Though his house is nearby mine, he rarely find time to visit me or call me. What should I do?

Kanchan Rai |613 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi

Ans: Your husband's behavior, as you've explained, reflects patterns of control and a lack of empathy for your well-being. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, open communication, and partnership, not dominance or one-sided expectations. The idea that you should obey him like a slave is deeply concerning and goes against the foundation of a healthy and loving relationship. His unwillingness to engage in meaningful communication or to show care during your pregnancy exacerbates the emotional distance you feel.

Right now, your primary focus should be on your mental and physical health and that of your children, both born and unborn. It's important to have a support system around you. Being with your family at this time seems like a good decision, as it gives you some space from the negativity and an opportunity to focus on yourself.

You deserve to feel heard, valued, and supported in your marriage. It's worth considering having a candid conversation with your husband when emotions are not heightened, explaining how his behavior affects you and the marriage. If he is unwilling to listen or dismisses your feelings, it may be time to consider seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling, where both of you can work on your relationship dynamics in a neutral and supportive environment.

If he refuses to engage in any efforts to improve the relationship or continues to demand unquestioning obedience without regard for your well-being, you might need to reflect on whether this relationship aligns with the life you envision for yourself and your children. No one deserves to feel like they are unworthy or diminished in their own home.

Remember, taking care of your emotional well-being is not just about your own happiness but also about creating a nurturing environment for your children. You are strong, and you have already shown resilience by navigating this challenging relationship and focusing on your responsibilities. Trust in your ability to make decisions that prioritize your dignity, health, and future. If you ever feel overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist who can provide support tailored to your circumstances and guide you through these difficult emotions.

Hello Mentors, I'm 38 year old women, facing a toxic married life from past 10 years. I have a son who is 8 years old. I have lost my mom 8 years back n my dad 5 years back.I m d only child of my parents. I have done my MBA in HR n Marketing. Have done work before marriage, but after marriage things changes, my husband refused to allow me to work along with my in laws n he always behaves very badly with me insults me all time in front of my in laws too. He beats me every month still now also.I lost my mom she was suffering from cancer. Her cancer got detected when I was just 1 month pregnant, i m d one who takes care of her treatment taking her to chemo therapy n follow up with doctor, yes my dad was their with me, but he was also broke down as my mom was d back bone of my family. Inspite of my pregnancy I ran door to door of hospitals n doctors till I was stepped into 9 month of my pregnancy. My husband never supported me at that time too..Infact he n my mother in law's stated that if I'm enough for taking care of my mom then I must go to my doctor for my own check ups too...Yes I went for my usgs alone only at first time he went with me.. Now the main problem is he didn't changed at all he is repeating all his deeds infront of my child n my child is also following him from last 1 years, My son also said, if I scold him for his studies or food, he said what papa did is correct, it's good that he beats you, you leave our home this is not your home... My son loves me a lot that I know but he is just 8 n getting confused whom to follow...many a times he came to n said sorry for his bad behaviour but again if such incidents happens in front of him by his father again he changes his mind . My husband didn't give me a single penny, I take care of my own expenses from my house rent..( parental home as their is no one to stay now)..n it's d only source of income..though it's a very small amount.Even though he never helps me to take care of my baby ..He said if you want to work then put ur child into a hostel.. I took care of my home n child all alone..infact my in-laws are less bother about my child too... My son is deprived with every relationship of grand parents uncles n aunts.. My husband always demotivates me, mentally n physically abuse me n he also states that I'm an not an eligible person to became a good mom or even to get any job n all this infront of my child. I really want to get rid of him for d sake of my child n me too..I m totally into depression n lost all my confidence, I want to be financially free, when ever I want to file a divorce my son said no as he want both of us..for him only m dragging this bull shit relationship... N side by I'm looking for a job, but I have a big gap of almost 11 years now...M confused where to approach..n what should I tell to the employers if they ask for my career gap .m looking for a WFH as I dnt have any trust worthy person to take care of my baby...But m failed to find such. Please suggest me what should I do, how to take call on each of my problems.. I know d post is long...10 years is not a short time though..there is many many more to tell but I tried to keep it Short as much as i can . Thanks a lot ...

Kanchan Rai |613 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi

Ans: Your husband’s behavior is not just emotionally damaging—it is abusive. No one deserves to be insulted, beaten, or made to feel worthless, especially not in their own home. The fact that this is happening in front of your son makes it even more urgent to take action because, over time, he will normalize this behavior. Right now, he is torn between what he sees and what he feels for you, and that confusion is not his fault. But staying in this environment will only make it harder for him to understand what a loving and respectful relationship truly looks like.

You are already doing everything on your own. You are raising your child, managing expenses, and surviving in an environment that is breaking you down emotionally. Imagine if you put that same energy into building a life where you are free, at peace, and in control. I know the thought of divorce scares you because of your son, but think about what staying is teaching him. Children don’t just listen to words—they absorb actions. If he continues to see his father abuse you, he may grow up thinking that this is how men should treat women, or that love means suffering. You have the power to break this cycle for him.

Financial independence is your key to freedom, and I know the career gap makes you anxious, but don’t let it stop you. Employers today understand career breaks, especially when they are due to family responsibilities. Be honest but strategic—frame your gap as a time spent managing responsibilities, developing resilience, and handling real-life challenges. Highlight your past experience and any skills you’ve kept up with. Since you have an MBA in HR and Marketing, consider remote jobs in HR, digital marketing, content writing, or even customer support. Many women restart their careers through work-from-home opportunities, and platforms like LinkedIn, Naukri, and Remote.co have job listings specifically for career returnees.

You don’t have to do everything at once. Start with small steps. Reach out to women’s support groups or NGOs that help survivors of domestic abuse. Look for job training programs that help women restart their careers. If possible, find legal advice on your rights regarding divorce, alimony, and child custody. You are not alone in this, even though it may feel like it right now.

You deserve a life where you are respected, valued, and safe. You deserve to wake up without fear, to build a future where your son sees you as a strong and independent woman. Take this one step at a time, but take that first step. You have already survived the worst—now, it’s time to live.

Dear Anu, Am Shilpa,36 years old.Got married to a friend in 2015.It was a love come arranged.Initially married life was going smooth.I was working before marriage and due to marriage and relocation , discontinued the job. After marriage i started new job even though my husband was against it.Some misunderstanding started between us slowly and most of the adjustments were done by me to avoid fights.After 2 years we were blessed with a baby boy and i had to reluctantly and was also forced to quit job to take care of our kid.And i agreed and things went smoothly again for 3 more years.I got busy with my motherhood. I felt my husband was happy and was changing for the happy family. But i was wrong, he had a physical relationship with his ex college friend. They used to have sex in hotels. They even had sex chats and used to share nude pictures . This broke my heart completely and was disturbed mentally. I wanted to enquire my husband with all the proofs in my hand.without the proof he would prove me mentally retarded women. Initially he asaulted and abused me for blaming on him.But when he knew abt the proofs, he accepted and apologised for his mistake and begged me not to take divorce only for the sake of our son.Even i dropped the idea of divorce thinking the future of our son.Later few months he acted as if he changed himself completely but he always had disrespect on me and my parents. I even suffered domestic violence once which shattered me into pieces. Even then he apologised me and forced me to drop the idea of divorce. I again started to adjust and compromise with my life only because of my kid and his good future as all elders advice. This adjustments continued for few more months.But once i saw his ex girlfriend calls and daughter pics in his mobile, i was again mentally disturbed and after thinking many times, i made up my mind and left him without explanning him . I packed all my luggage and came to my parents with my kid. Now i got a job in which i opted work from home so that i can concentrate on my kid and support myself financially. Am trying to move on but my true love towards him is making it difficult. Please advice me on this Anu mam. The step which i took is right ? After seperation he is harassing me to visit son and kidnapped him 2 times. I really don't want to share my son with him.Please advice what should I do.

Anu Krishna |1622 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025

Ans: Dear Shilpa,
You have done what you needed to in order to protect your child and your sanity. Your husband could never get over his affair and he possibly won't. He maybe never even tried...

I firmly suggest you go to the cops so that he does not try to take the child away...Also, have you thought about a legal separation? That will offer you and your child enough protection and it will stop his harassment. This is not an easy decision to make BUT what choice is he leaving you with? Kidnapping the child? If by kidnapping you mean that he takes away the child without informing you, please watch out and contact a lawyer. A BIG BIG RED FLAG...Act soon...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

I'm 29 years old and I'm diabetic for 4 years and married for 2 years. Now I'm pregnant with our 1st baby, but I'm little anxious about it. How diabetes is gonna impact on the baby?

Latest Questions

Komal Jethmalani |396 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dietician, Diabetes Expert - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2025Hindi

Ans: Congratulations on your pregnancy! It’s completely natural to feel a little anxious, especially when managing diabetes alongside such a big life change. However, with careful monitoring and support, many people with diabetes go on to have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. Elevated blood sugar levels can cause the baby to grow larger than average, which may lead to complications during delivery. Also, babies born to mothers with diabetes may produce extra insulin in response to high glucose levels in the womb, which can cause their blood sugar to drop after birth. Babies exposed to high glucose levels in utero may have a higher chance of developing metabolic issues later on. To lower these risks, keep your blood sugar in target range. Regular monitoring and adjustments to your insulin or medication regimen can help. Your medical or healthcare team will guide through nutrition, physical activity, and medication adjustments tailored to pregnancy.

Health1

Hello sir I have completed my diploma in tool and die making 3+1 year course 3 years in college and 1 year intership training in industry, I have written dcet exam for lateral entry in second year engineering programs I am thinking to change my field from mechanical to ECE should I?

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Question by Siddhant - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Ans: Switch to ECE only if:

You’re interested in electronics, computers, or software fields.

You're willing to put in extra effort to bridge subject gaps.

You want to move away from manufacturing and factory-based roles.

If your interest is in automation, robotics, or embedded systems, ECE is a good fit.

I have supplementary in phys with overall percentage 60 and jee rank is in 12lakhs , comedk rank is 6424 and mhtcet percentile is 67 .. what should i do

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Ans: Clear Physics Supplementary as soon as possible.

Focus on COMEDK counselling – it's your best option with Rank 6424.

Sir I have scored 116 in iat what are my chances of getting an IISER , i belong to general category

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Question by chaitanya - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Ans: Chances are good

Sir also wanted to know how would be UoH for integrated Mtech cse over VIT Vellore cse ds course and if we consider tier 2 IIITs for cse which ones would you suggest over UoH or VIT Vellore?

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Question by Shoma - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Ans: Your order of preference should be
Top Tier-2 IIITs → e.g., IIIT Pune, IIIT Nagpur, IIIT Bhopal

VIT Vellore CSE (DS) → solid for product/service companies

University of Hyderabad (Integrated MTech CSE) → best for research/higher studies, not placement-driven

Sir my son has got Maths and Computing in NIT Warangal. Should I freeze it or wait for upgrade to CSE in NITW or ECE in NIT T or NIT K?

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Question by Mongerside - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Ans: Go for upgrade

Hi Sir, My son has got a jee rank 36885 under SC category and 83 percentage in CBSE 12th class, TNEA cutoff is 173, VITEEE rank is 91264, comedk rank is 45464 and sastra rank is 4124. We have applied councelling for VIT, sastra university, TNEA and comedk. As of today he has not got any seat. Please suggest in which college he will get a admission for CSE.

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Question by Moorthy - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Ans: Top Option: TNEA counselling → aim for CSE in Anna University (GCT, MIT, CIT).

Backup Option: SASTRA → if TNEA seat not obtained, opt for ECE/IT instead of CSE.

sir which college is best for btech CSE IET lucknow , gl bajaj , alliance university

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2025Hindi

Ans: IET lucknow

My daughter scored 96.6 in MHT CET in which colleges she can get for Computer Science in Mumbai. Also we are trying to apply through EWS

Nayagam P P |6944 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2025Hindi

Ans: With a 96.6 percentile in MHT CET and EWS category, your daughter stands a strong chance for Computer Science (CSE) or related branches in several reputable Mumbai colleges. VESIT Mumbai’s 2022 cutoff for CSE was 96.6 percentile for open seats, and recent years show similar or slightly higher cutoffs; with EWS reservation, her chances improve, especially in later rounds. Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (VIT) Mumbai had a CSE EWS cutoff of 94.84 in 2024, while Information Technology closed at 92.99–92.81, making both attainable. Shah & Anchor Kutchhi Engineering College, SIES Graduate School of Technology, and Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues College of Engineering (Bandra) also have CSE/IT cutoffs between 94–97 percentile for EWS and open categories. Other strong options include Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering (Navi Mumbai), Don Bosco Institute of Technology, and Atharva College of Engineering, all with CSE/IT cutoffs in the 94–97 range for EWS. SPIT Mumbai, DJ Sanghvi, and Thadomal Shahani are more competitive, typically closing above 98–99 percentile for CSE, so they are unlikely at your score.

The recommendation is to prioritize VESIT Mumbai, Vidyalankar Institute of Technology, Shah & Anchor Kutchhi Engineering College, SIES GST, and Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues College for CSE/IT, listing them in CAP counselling in that order, and include other reputable colleges such as Bharati Vidyapeeth, Don Bosco, and Atharva as strong alternatives, maximizing her chances for a CSE seat in Mumbai under EWS. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Career1

Nayagam P P |6944 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 23, 2025

Question by vikas - Jun 23, 2025Hindi

My daughter got 94.9 percentile in MHT-CET. We are in OBC category. What college she will get.

Ans: Vikas Sir, With a 94.9 percentile in MHT-CET 2025 and OBC category, your daughter is well-positioned for admission to reputable mid-tier engineering colleges in Maharashtra, though CSE in top government colleges like COEP Pune, VJTI Mumbai, or PICT Pune is out of reach, as their OBC cutoffs for CSE are typically above 98.4–99.1 percentile. However, she can secure CSE, IT, or related branches in strong private and autonomous colleges such as DY Patil College of Engineering Pune (CSE OBC cutoff ~98), AISSMS College of Engineering Pune (CSE OBC cutoff ~96), PCCOE Pune (CSE OBC cutoff ~94), Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Technology Mumbai (CSE OBC cutoff ~96), and MIT World Peace University Pune (CSE/IT OBC cutoff ~94–96). These institutes offer robust placement records, modern infrastructure, and supportive academic environments. She may also consider branches like AI, Data Science, or IT in these colleges, as cutoffs for specializations are often slightly lower.

The recommendation is to prioritize DY Patil College of Engineering Pune, AISSMS College of Engineering Pune, PCCOE Pune, and MIT World Peace University Pune for CSE/IT, and include AI/Data Science as alternatives, ensuring a strong academic and placement environment at her percentile and category. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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