Sir - I ama 50 Year old person. My wife is 44 yearsd old. She hates lies and i know very well that she gets wild if i lie and I have been used to the soft lies which she gets irritated about. Last week she caught me telling a lie about a certain happening which started with the starcase light of our society. She had told me not to request anyone to replace the light as there are other members of the society(who are never get involved in any social things). I said ok but had messaged a committee member to change it via chat and forgot all about it. My wife saw the chat and got wild and told me as why i lied to her that i did not tell anyone in the society to replace the bulb... she got really wild about this and is not talking to me for the past 3-4 days.. she does not want to and wants to separate.. Can you advise me as to how i can convince her.. i have tried apologising many times and reterating that this willnot happen again..

Ans: I understand this situation is very challenging for you. It’s clear that you care deeply about your wife and want to repair the relationship. The key here is to show her that you truly understand why this incident was significant to her and to demonstrate a genuine commitment to change.

First, it's important to acknowledge the impact of your actions. Sit down with your wife and express that you understand why she feels hurt and betrayed by your lie. Let her know that you recognize how important honesty is to her and that you see why this situation has caused her so much distress. Use this conversation to validate her feelings without trying to defend your actions or make excuses.

When you apologize, make sure it's heartfelt and sincere. Instead of a simple "I'm sorry," explain what you are sorry for and how you plan to ensure this doesn’t happen again. For example, you could say, "I deeply regret lying to you about the light bulb situation. I understand that my actions hurt you and damaged your trust in me. Moving forward, I am committed to being completely honest with you, no matter how small the matter may seem."

Next, demonstrate your commitment to change through actions, not just words. This might involve openly communicating about small things that you might have previously brushed off. Showing consistency in your behavior over time can help rebuild trust.

Also, consider exploring why you feel the need to tell "soft lies." Understanding this about yourself can help you address the root cause and change this behavior. You might find it helpful to talk with a therapist or counselor to get to the bottom of this tendency and develop strategies to overcome it.

Lastly, give her space and time if she needs it. Pressuring her to forgive you immediately might push her further away. Show her through your actions and your patience that you are committed to making things right.

Rebuilding trust takes time and consistent effort, but by demonstrating genuine remorse, understanding, and a willingness to change, you can start to repair your relationship. Your commitment to honesty and openness moving forward will be crucial in showing her that she can trust you again.