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Anu Krishna  |882 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2023Hindi
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I,AGE 46 YEARS,HAS BEEN SLEEPING WITH HORROR NIGHTMATRES FOR LAST 24 YEARS.DURING MINE CHILDHOOD,I WAS SEXTUALLY MOLESTED AND BEATEN BY MY NEIGHBOURS WHICH RESULTED IN FEAR ATTITUDE OF MINE.I WAS VERY KEEN IN SPORTS AND PAINTING BUT I FORCEFULLY LEFT IT AS I WAS NOT MIXING WITH FRIENDS TO PLAY GAMES.I WAS VERY MUCH INTERESTED TO JOIN ARMY AS MY CARREER BUT I COULDN'T MAKE IT.AFTER THAT I JOIN MINE FAMILY BUSINESS BUT FROM THAT VERY PERIOD OF 1999,I AM IN ACUTE DEPRESSION.AFTER MARRIAGE THE SITUATION WORSEN FURTHUR SINCE MINE WIFE IS ALSO SUFFERING FROM SOME KIND OF DEPRESSION.I AM TRYING MYSELF TO GET OUT OF MINE HORROR DREAMS LIKE TAKING BATH BEFORE SLEEP,TULSI TEA ETC. BUT OF NO RESULT.HOW TO OVERCOME MINE HORROR DREAMS AND FEAR.ALSO I WANT TO KNOW,IS THERE ANY LIFE SKILL COURSE WHICH I CAN JOIN TO BOOST MY CONFIDENCE.I EXERCISE AND DO MEDITATION FOR LAST 3 YEARS BUT NO RESULT IS COMING.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I truly empathize with what you have been through and it's not easy to brush it away.
The best suggestion that I can give you is to seek the help of a professional right away.
Childhood traumas are known to cause a lot of emotional challenges in adulthood as well. Why struggle with it? It will affect every area of your life which is painful. It will also keep you stuck not allowing you to move ahead...
You must work on the unresolved emotion from the unpleasant incident and this will be possible by working with a professional. He/she will help you go back to where it all started and it maybe daunting at first, but the liberation that you will feel with deep-dive sessions is priceless.

So, now you know what you must do! Do not wait...

All the best!

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How to overcome fear in life
Ans: Overcoming fear is a personal and gradual process, but here are some strategies that can help:

Identify and acknowledge your fears: The first step in overcoming fear is to identify what you're afraid of and acknowledge its presence in your life. Take the time to reflect on the specific fears that hold you back and recognize that they are valid emotions.

Understand the root cause: Try to understand the underlying reasons behind your fears. Sometimes fears stem from past experiences, trauma, or limiting beliefs. By gaining insight into the root causes, you can begin to address them more effectively.

Educate yourself: Knowledge is power. Often, fear arises from a lack of understanding or unfamiliarity. Educate yourself about the things you fear. Whether it's a specific phobia or a fear of the unknown, gathering information and learning more about the subject can help dispel irrational fears.

Take small steps: Overcoming fear doesn't mean completely eliminating it overnight. Start by taking small steps towards facing your fears. Break down the fear-inducing situations into smaller, more manageable tasks. Gradually exposing yourself to these situations can help build confidence and reduce fear over time.

Practice relaxation techniques: Fear can trigger physical and emotional responses, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or anxiety. Practicing relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or mindfulness, can help you manage these symptoms and calm your mind.

Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out for support. Share your fears with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can provide encouragement, guidance, and a fresh perspective. Connecting with others who have faced similar fears can also be beneficial.

Challenge negative thoughts: Fear often accompanies negative thoughts and self-doubt. Challenge these thoughts by examining their validity and replacing them with more positive and empowering ones. Affirmations and positive self-talk can help reframe your mindset and reduce fear.

Embrace failure as a learning opportunity: Fear of failure can hold you back from taking risks or pursuing your goals. Remember that failure is a natural part of life and often leads to growth and learning. Embrace failure as an opportunity to learn, adjust, and try again.

Celebrate your successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Each step you take in facing your fears and overcoming obstacles is progress worth recognizing. Celebrating your successes can boost your confidence and motivate you to continue moving forward.

Remember, overcoming fear takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself throughout the process, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if your fears are significantly impacting your daily life and well-being.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |882 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Hindi
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Dear Ma'am , Please keep my identity confidential. I am facing a very unique problem, I am happily married man for last 18 years with 2 children, before my current marriage in 2003 my Marriage was fixed with a girl ( I was based out of Singapore at That time, I work in management position in one of top IT companies now in India) who was a very distant relative ( her Bhabhi and my Bhabhi were cousins). for some health reason at that time I backed out of from that marriage and when I was better we proposed marriage to her again but then she was already engaged. later I got married to my wife and she too has got married ( I am not in touch with her not knows anything about her husband and never tried to find out. even though I know that my elder brother and her elder cousin have become good friend and I stayed in far off city from them. problem started for me in September 2023, out of no where I started getting bad creams about her. once I found here ( in dream) at nreaby place where she was in bad shape and i brought here home. my dream ended there that night. after that regularly started getting some dreams or other almost every early morning. as it was going to an arranged marriage i had never spoken to here , not a single word. but since then dreams have not stopped some time negative and sometime positive like we are enjoying life together. one of psychologist suggested me to fins out about here current status just to validate that she is all fine in here life but I could not as no one from my family supported the idea of getting touch with as I have no details of her except she is married and working as Teacher ( she is M.Sc. B.ED) . Please guide me if there is normal and what can I do as these dream are not stopping and I am getting so involved that I am unable to forget her, Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Dreams can just play out like a movie on what bothers you or what you are fearful of or even things that you feel happy about. Certain experts also suggest that dreams can help in resolving underlying issues.
Whatever it is, do remember what you said: I am happily married man for last 18 years with 2 children.
The past better be where it must be. To go into what the other lady is doing and knowing her current status is only going to get you more entangled into her life. Do you really want this entanglement? Do you really wish to be a part of a situation where you spend mind cycles to figure out if all is okay with her and in the bargain disturb the peace in your life? I am sure you know what the answers are.
Find solace in the fact that she must have people who care for her and who love her. This will to a large extent keep you from looping into her life even at a subconscious level. And also start to be more involved within your family...this will keep you engaged and also give you an assurance that you are in the right place with the right people meant for you.
The mind does what it is directed to do; so direct it toward actions that support your growth and peace of mind.

All the best!

..Read more

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