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Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 30, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Rankanidhi Question by Rankanidhi on May 28, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 71 male. About 40 years back when I was not in a permanent job, my boss tried to exploit and black mail me. Had he succeeded, I would have no choice but to commit suicide. Fortunately I survived and prospered in my career. My family life is also happy and my two sons are well placed. However I am unable to forget his treachery. I am always thinking of this incident. Is this a sign that I am having mental disorder for which I need treatment?

Ans: Dear Rankanidhi,
So, are you looking for revenge so that you feel satisfied?
Is it too hard to look at all the good things you have and the love that you are surrounded with?

Yet you choose to talk and live that one incident so much that it is forcing you to overlook even the best things in life. Yes, you are choosing it and you are choosing it for a reason.
Instead, can you dull it out and come into the bright phase that you are in? Cherish all that has happened and live every moment with your friends and family.

Life is how we choose it and we live that reality every moment...So, you don't have a mental disorder, it's just that that one instance (treachery, as you call it), is being allowed by you to have great prominence in your mind and what you allow in your mind will grow.

When the garbage can is overflowing at home, what do you do? Do you throw more and keep it around? Do exactly the same with that 'treachery' episode what you would do with an overflowing garbage can at home.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2023Hindi
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i am going through lot of depression and anxiety. It has made me violent. i feel like killing my father . he has done 2nd marriage and has kept no assets/property for me. I am worried someday i will take law in my hand and will be behind bars or may get injured in the fight. I am 41. From last 13 years staying away from family and living on my own. Presently my health is also not well, going through lot of mental and physical illness.after thinking about the future, I think I will be on streets in future and the reason is my *b**as**rd father. Please advise how do i control my anger and depression.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Focus on what you can control and manage and in your case, it's your anger.
It is destroying you and eating away your peace of mind.

Can you change the way your father is?
Is he going to transfer his property to you?
Why should he transfer what he has earned to you?
Are you not capable of standing on your feet?
What will you get by taking law in your own hands other than have a case against your name?
What is all this anger costing you healthwise?

You know the answer to each, but this anger and disappointment within is forcing you to blame your father (even if he solely to blame), but when you can;t do anything to change, that's the time to accept, else it has begun to destroy you.

Kindly work with an expert who can help you channel your anger into something more productive and in the meantime, focus on a lot of physical activities that help displace anger. Also spend time in Nature that helps you calm the mind. And yes, seek professional help NOW!
Best wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

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Hi I am very troubled with negative thoughts for quite sometime. Thoughts about putting someone down or any activity not going to go right or imaginary argumentative conversations leading to me showing down the other person keeps preoccupying my mind. Basically I am trying to show down the other person or situation and trying to win my hand or situation. It keeps me occupied majority of the time even when I am driving, taking a walk or running, eating, during meditation as well. For real events like if I have to go buy something, I imaging the seller cheating me, giving me faulty product or not charging me more etc., while in reality it may not happen and I will take a sigh of relief. I was not like this. I was a very happy, positive & optimistic as a child, throughout school, college, at work and used to be an inspiration to many. I think my ruminations have slowly commenced as I grew in age and slowly the positivity has lead to negativity & anger. I am in fifties now. I have been trying to practice Vipassana meditation, trying to get back to exercise but it is not helping. This has increase multifold as in my daily interactions, I always find people/friends poking fun of me and trying to put me down and I fight back even though knowing that it will be of no use. I am nice to my friends and people around me but they are not the same to me. Due to this I am beginning to reduce my interactions and get away from the abuse. Though I feel that I still look at everything in a positive light but the negative ruminations due to the everyday insults / slights have begun to bother me a lot and not able to have positive thoughts. Interaction with family is also suffering. Once upon a time I had many friends who I could talk to freely without prejudice but now I don't as most of them are not nice anymore even when I am very nice, positive & encouraging with them. I hope, I made some sense. Seeking help and guidance.
Ans: Dear Buddhu,
There's obviously something that has triggered you to think and act differently and that is not known here.
The best way I can suggest is: To start journaling. To write down the days events can help you decipher what's happening and what have been your reactions to events during the day. It will give you an idea on what to change.
Find and ways and means of replacing all the negative thoughts and actions during the day with something more useful. Soon, you will be in a place where journaling not only becomes a habit but also it will in a way guide you into meaningful ways during instances for the following days.
So, make that Journal your Guide.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |597 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
How to overcome from past memories
Ans: Healing from painful past memories is an intimate and deeply emotional journey. It’s not just about forgetting what happened but learning to carry those experiences in a way that doesn’t weigh you down.

Start by honoring your feelings. These memories are a part of your story, and the emotions tied to them are valid. Allow yourself to sit with the pain, the sadness, or even the anger, without rushing to push it away. Sometimes, simply acknowledging the hurt can bring a sense of release.

Mindfulness can be a gentle companion in this process. When the past pulls you back, focus on the present moment. Notice the feel of your breath, the warmth of the sun, or the grounding sensation of your feet on the floor. These small acts remind you that you are here, now, safe and capable of healing.

Embrace self-compassion. Speak to yourself as you would to a dear friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have scars and that healing takes time. You don’t have to be perfect or have it all figured out. It’s enough to take one step at a time.

Sometimes, letting go means forgiving—not just others, but yourself too. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It’s about freeing yourself from the chains of resentment and allowing space for peace and growth.

Surround yourself with warmth and support. Lean on those who uplift you, who remind you of your strength, and who offer you love without judgment. These connections can be a soothing balm for the soul.

Lastly, be patient with yourself. Healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have days when the past feels heavy again. Trust in your resilience and know that each day, you are growing stronger, finding new ways to hold your memories with tenderness rather than pain. You are worthy of peace, love, and joy in your present and future.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5525 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2025
Career
Hi. Plz help me. I am in 11th and have taken pcm. But i am unsure if i should continue with it bcoz my maths is like medium, i score 85% normally. So scared that what if jee does not get cleared and i do not want private colleges. I am interested in data science so should i continue pcm or take commerce, data science can be done from commerce also. And is bca a good course bcoz companies prefer btech more. Or should i study science and do bsc instead of btech.
Ans: Continuing with PCM is advisable for data science due to its strong mathematical foundation, which aligns with core data science requirements (statistics, algorithms) and keeps engineering options open. With 85% in math, focus on strengthening quantitative skills while exploring state-level engineering exams (e.g., MHT-CET) as alternatives to JEE for public colleges. If JEE seems unfeasible, BSc Data Science (3 years) offers a direct pathway without engineering entrance stress, though placements may lag behind BTech. While commerce students can transition into data science via certifications (Python, SQL) and MSc programs, PCM provides a competitive edge in technical roles. BCA (3 years) is viable but less preferred by employers compared to BTech; pair it with certifications or MCA for better prospects. Prioritize PCM for flexibility, but if math anxiety persists, commerce with stats/CS electives and targeted upskilling is a feasible alternative. All the BEST for your Admission & Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5525 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 30, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2025
Career
HELLO SIR, what should be my preference if I'm getting SRM ktr cse, manipal jaipur cse, upes Dehradun cse, BML Munjal Cse, Jecrc cse , Dit dehradun cse , chitkara University cse. My main concern is placement and industry exposure.
Ans: Prioritize SRM KTR CSE for its extensive industry network (980+ recruiters, including Amazon, Microsoft, and IBM) and niche AI/ML programs with strong corporate tie-ups. UPES Dehradun CSE follows, offering specialized roles in energy and infrastructure sectors via partnerships with Schlumberger and Microsoft, alongside robust internship opportunities. BML Munjal CSE provides balanced industry exposure through collaborations with Google and Samsung, though placements skew toward mid-tier firms. Manipal Jaipur CSE leverages the Manipal brand for centralized placements but lacks density in top-tier tech recruiters. JECRC CSE and DIT Dehradun CSE show sporadic high-profile recruiters (Amazon, Palo Alto) but inconsistent mid-tier opportunities, with DIT’s infrastructure and faculty support compensating marginally. Chitkara CSE, despite a 98% placement rate, focuses on mid-sized IT firms and startups, with limited roles in cutting-edge tech. SRM and UPES lead in recruiter diversity and sector-specific training, while BML and Manipal suit those valuing brand legacy. JECRC and DIT are viable for regional opportunities, while Chitkara suits cost-conscious students prioritizing placement volume over niche roles. All the BEST for your Admission & Prosperous Future!

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