Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1568 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am 67 yrs.old female staying with my husband.We have 2sons younger one is having problems with his wife right from the beginning of their marriage.They have a one year old daughter too.My son blames us for his problems as it was arranged marriage and doesn't talk to any family members.Once their fights led to preparation for divorce but at that point both decided to stay together and tried for child .Now the child is one year old but they behave same.This causes so much distress to me .Pl.help

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Arranged or Love marriage; the two people in the marriage are responsible for how and what they experience in it.
Kindly don't take the trouble of accepting the blame that very conveniently your son is transferring to you instead him taking charge of his marriage.
If it was the case that the marriage was going on wonderfully well, would he have applauded you for finding him a good bride? No, right? So, how is it that when things go downhill, he thinks he needs to pin the blame on you...
Kindly ignore; let him realize his duties as a responsible adult and a responsible partner and do the needful. Your job as a mother and mother-in-law is to support them through the process of them rebuilding their marriage.
And even in your conversations with them, if you hear him lashing at you, be absolutely silent on it (difficult but not impossible) and then ask: What is it that I can do to support the two of you?
It will give him the message that you area not going to take the blame and that you are passing the baton back to him to handle his marriage.
Every relationship issue must be dealt with by the people who are part of it as a stakeholder. The rest are support staff...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1568 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 19, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I have been reading your articles for quite some time. I am 40 years old in a marriage for last 12 years. I have a 11.5 year old son.My marriage is going through a very rough phase. My husband doesn't leave any chance to abuse me, doesn't matter where and with whom we areMy husband proposed to me knowing I have Vitiligo (discoloration of skin). Plus I was not as rich as him. I did make him aware of this before going ahead. His family was against our marriage still he went ahead. From the day of marriage he suddenly changed, and started abusing me in and out. First I thought my mother-in-law is creating problems which she did every time we came together. Infront of every maid and in the absence of my husband she tried to humiliate me based on my skin condition and financial status. But she'd become caring in his presence.After five years of marriage, for a few years we were away from family. It was peaceful and we had a nice time. But during the lockdown and online school we were back with the same problem. Now the condition is that I cannot stay with my husband. My family is very supportive but suggest that before taking any step I should think of my child. And that we should both sit and talk.If I try talking to my husband I know it will end in a fight. Kindly suggest which way should I go?
Ans:

Dear KB,

Maybe someone from the family or his friends have commented on your condition and made him feel that he made the wrong choice.

Even if it’s that, when he knew and had no objection, what is a man’s word is that he keeps it no matter what!

Now that he has gone back on it, it’s natural for others to take advantage of it and mock you for what the society considers as ‘not beautiful’.

In a way, we are obsessed with some sort of standards for what’s beautiful and what’s not. Beauty standards, you might call it so!

He seems to be a different person with his family and without, it suggests that he may not have a very strong mind to back up the decision of marrying you in the first place possibly against the wishes of his family.

Abuse, at no point is justifiable and you need to take a strong stance and draw a boundary as this is going to continue.

Your family has made a wise suggestion and for the sake of the child, it might be worth the effort to sit down have that chat with your husband however hard that might be.

Do not compromise on the fact that this so-called beauty standards and labels within his family will continue. Be unapologetic about who you are and own your beauty your way.

This is non- negotiable and you need to state this clearly when you have that conversation with him. Period!

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |566 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hello Mentors, I'm 38 year old women, facing a toxic married life from past 10 years. I have a son who is 8 years old. I have lost my mom 8 years back n my dad 5 years back.I m d only child of my parents. I have done my MBA in HR n Marketing. Have done work before marriage, but after marriage things changes, my husband refused to allow me to work along with my in laws n he always behaves very badly with me insults me all time in front of my in laws too. He beats me every month still now also.I lost my mom she was suffering from cancer. Her cancer got detected when I was just 1 month pregnant, i m d one who takes care of her treatment taking her to chemo therapy n follow up with doctor, yes my dad was their with me, but he was also broke down as my mom was d back bone of my family. Inspite of my pregnancy I ran door to door of hospitals n doctors till I was stepped into 9 month of my pregnancy. My husband never supported me at that time too..Infact he n my mother in law's stated that if I'm enough for taking care of my mom then I must go to my doctor for my own check ups too...Yes I went for my usgs alone only at first time he went with me.. Now the main problem is he didn't changed at all he is repeating all his deeds infront of my child n my child is also following him from last 1 years, My son also said, if I scold him for his studies or food, he said what papa did is correct, it's good that he beats you, you leave our home this is not your home... My son loves me a lot that I know but he is just 8 n getting confused whom to follow...many a times he came to n said sorry for his bad behaviour but again if such incidents happens in front of him by his father again he changes his mind . My husband didn't give me a single penny, I take care of my own expenses from my house rent..( parental home as their is no one to stay now)..n it's d only source of income..though it's a very small amount.Even though he never helps me to take care of my baby ..He said if you want to work then put ur child into a hostel.. I took care of my home n child all alone..infact my in-laws are less bother about my child too... My son is deprived with every relationship of grand parents uncles n aunts.. My husband always demotivates me, mentally n physically abuse me n he also states that I'm an not an eligible person to became a good mom or even to get any job n all this infront of my child. I really want to get rid of him for d sake of my child n me too..I m totally into depression n lost all my confidence, I want to be financially free, when ever I want to file a divorce my son said no as he want both of us..for him only m dragging this bull shit relationship... N side by I'm looking for a job, but I have a big gap of almost 11 years now...M confused where to approach..n what should I tell to the employers if they ask for my career gap .m looking for a WFH as I dnt have any trust worthy person to take care of my baby...But m failed to find such. Please suggest me what should I do, how to take call on each of my problems.. I know d post is long...10 years is not a short time though..there is many many more to tell but I tried to keep it Short as much as i can . Thanks a lot ...
Ans: Your husband’s behavior is not just emotionally damaging—it is abusive. No one deserves to be insulted, beaten, or made to feel worthless, especially not in their own home. The fact that this is happening in front of your son makes it even more urgent to take action because, over time, he will normalize this behavior. Right now, he is torn between what he sees and what he feels for you, and that confusion is not his fault. But staying in this environment will only make it harder for him to understand what a loving and respectful relationship truly looks like.

You are already doing everything on your own. You are raising your child, managing expenses, and surviving in an environment that is breaking you down emotionally. Imagine if you put that same energy into building a life where you are free, at peace, and in control. I know the thought of divorce scares you because of your son, but think about what staying is teaching him. Children don’t just listen to words—they absorb actions. If he continues to see his father abuse you, he may grow up thinking that this is how men should treat women, or that love means suffering. You have the power to break this cycle for him.

Financial independence is your key to freedom, and I know the career gap makes you anxious, but don’t let it stop you. Employers today understand career breaks, especially when they are due to family responsibilities. Be honest but strategic—frame your gap as a time spent managing responsibilities, developing resilience, and handling real-life challenges. Highlight your past experience and any skills you’ve kept up with. Since you have an MBA in HR and Marketing, consider remote jobs in HR, digital marketing, content writing, or even customer support. Many women restart their careers through work-from-home opportunities, and platforms like LinkedIn, Naukri, and Remote.co have job listings specifically for career returnees.

You don’t have to do everything at once. Start with small steps. Reach out to women’s support groups or NGOs that help survivors of domestic abuse. Look for job training programs that help women restart their careers. If possible, find legal advice on your rights regarding divorce, alimony, and child custody. You are not alone in this, even though it may feel like it right now.

You deserve a life where you are respected, valued, and safe. You deserve to wake up without fear, to build a future where your son sees you as a strong and independent woman. Take this one step at a time, but take that first step. You have already survived the worst—now, it’s time to live.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1568 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 26, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
My elder son is married for the last seven years. Every now and then they will quarrel and she will go to her parents place. Normally she used return after one or two weeks. About six months back she had a small quarrel with her husband and went to her parents' place. This time she has completely cut off from her husband. Her parents expressed their helpless in helping us. My son and his mother had gone four times to her house to bring her back. Out of frustration we sent a advocates notice. We and our son are not keen for divorce. Both of them are childless and are working. Kindly advise us what can be done?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let it be a matter that is sorted by only your son and his wife. It's their marriage and let them take the responsibility of putting it back together. As parents, sometimes the concern that you show can actually backfire depending on what exactly is irking the couple and their marriage.
It is going to be difficult for you and your wife to become silent spectators but at times it is better than intervening. They are adults who know what a quarrel can do; so let them figure out what to do after a quarrel. Let your son learn how he can manage the situation after a quarrel where his wife is able to access her mature side and talk things through rather than packing and leaving. I am sure you understand where I am going with this!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |553 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 24, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8145 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 24, 2025

Listen
Money
Hello, I am 57 years working out of India and earning 35 lacs annually with PR of that country and having NRI FD of 3.5 crore and mutual fund of 20 lac and sip of 3lac per annum. I have own bungalow and flat in b town of Gujarat. My daughter went to U.S.A for master last year. I want to retire and want to enjoy rest of life exploring the world with wife. Please advise.
Ans: Your goal is clear—retirement and world travel with your wife. You have built a strong financial foundation. Now, structuring your investments for lifelong cash flow is important.

Assessing Your Current Financial Position
Income: Rs. 35 lakh annual income from work abroad.

Assets: Rs. 3.5 crore in NRI fixed deposits, Rs. 20 lakh in mutual funds.

Investments: SIP of Rs. 3 lakh per year.

Real Estate: Own bungalow and flat in Gujarat.

Family Responsibility: Daughter pursuing a master's degree in the U.S.A.

Retirement Goal: Financial independence and world travel.

Key Challenges in Retirement Planning
Cash Flow Management: Ensuring a steady income for expenses.

Inflation Risk: Expenses will rise over time, reducing purchasing power.

Investment Growth: Maintaining and growing wealth to last a lifetime.

Liquidity Needs: Quick access to funds for travel and emergencies.

Tax Efficiency: Minimizing tax burden on withdrawals.

Retirement Corpus Planning
1. Estimating Annual Expenses
Consider monthly lifestyle costs, medical expenses, and travel budgets.

Account for inflation, as costs will rise over time.

Keep an emergency fund to handle unexpected expenses.

2. Generating Regular Cash Flow
Fixed Deposits (FDs): Provide safety but lower returns after tax.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Ideal for steady monthly income.

Dividend-paying Mutual Funds: Useful for passive cash flow.

Corporate Bonds: Can provide stable interest income.

Optimizing Your Investment Portfolio
1. Reducing FD Dependence
Rs. 3.5 crore in FDs is too high. Interest rates may not beat inflation.

Shift a portion into mutual funds with a mix of equity and debt.

Debt mutual funds can provide stability with better tax efficiency.

2. Equity Exposure for Growth
Equity is necessary for long-term wealth growth.

Consider large-cap and multi-cap mutual funds for stability.

Keep a portion in international funds for global exposure.

3. Debt Investments for Stability
Short-term debt funds are good for liquidity.

Corporate bond funds can offer better returns than FDs.

Select tax-efficient debt instruments for fixed income.

Funding Your Travel Goals
Create a dedicated "Travel Fund" for expenses.

Use SWP from mutual funds to generate travel cash flow.

Avoid dipping into principal amount to maintain financial security.

Tax Planning for Retirement
1. Taxation on Withdrawals
SWP from equity mutual funds attracts LTCG tax after Rs. 1.25 lakh gains.

Debt fund withdrawals are taxed as per income slab.

Optimize withdrawals to reduce tax burden.

2. NRI Tax Considerations
Check tax liabilities in India and your resident country.

Double taxation treaties can help reduce excess taxation.

Plan withdrawals carefully to avoid tax inefficiencies.

Estate Planning and Succession
Create a will for asset distribution.

Nominate beneficiaries in mutual funds and FDs.

Consider gifting assets to your daughter for tax benefits.

Final Insights
Reduce FD dependency and shift towards mutual funds.

Maintain a balance between equity and debt investments.

Structure cash flow using SWP and tax-efficient investments.

Plan withdrawals wisely to minimize tax impact.

Set aside a dedicated travel fund for world exploration.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8145 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 04, 2025Hindi
Listen
is right time to invest in mutual funds short term
Ans: Your question on short-term mutual fund investment is important. Let’s assess if this is the right time and how to approach it.

Understanding Short-Term Investments in Mutual Funds
1. Market Conditions and Short-Term Investments
The Indian stock market is currently experiencing volatility.

Global economic uncertainties and interest rate policies are influencing market movements.

Short-term investments depend on market cycles and liquidity needs.

If invested for a short period, market timing plays a crucial role.

2. Risk vs. Reward in Short-Term Investing
Short-term mutual fund investments carry risks due to market fluctuations.

Equity funds may not be ideal for short-term goals due to volatility.

Debt funds can provide stability but may have lower returns than equities.

Risk assessment is necessary before investing for the short term.

3. Ideal Fund Categories for Short-Term Investment
Ultra-short duration funds: Suitable for 3–6 months with lower risk.

Short-duration funds: Ideal for 1–3 years with moderate risk.

Liquid funds: Best for parking surplus funds for a few months.

Corporate bond funds: Offer slightly higher returns but come with credit risk.

Key Factors to Consider Before Investing
1. Investment Horizon
Define the exact period you wish to stay invested.

If less than one year, avoid equity mutual funds.

If 1–3 years, prefer high-quality debt funds.

2. Liquidity Needs
Short-term investments should be easily accessible when needed.

Debt mutual funds offer better liquidity than FDs for short-term goals.

Exit loads and redemption timeframes should be checked before investing.

3. Taxation Impact on Returns
Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

Short-term capital gains (STCG) on equity funds are taxed at 20%.

Consider post-tax returns while comparing investment options.

Evaluating Alternatives for Short-Term Investments
1. Fixed Deposits vs. Debt Mutual Funds
Bank FDs provide fixed returns but may have lower post-tax returns.

Debt mutual funds offer flexibility and tax-efficient returns.

FDs may be suitable if interest rates remain high.

2. Arbitrage Funds for Short-Term Investment
Arbitrage funds invest in equity but work like debt funds in terms of risk.

Tax-efficient for holding periods beyond one year.

Suitable for those seeking stability with slightly better returns than FDs.

Final Insights
Short-term mutual fund investments require careful selection based on the time horizon.

Debt funds are better suited for stability, while arbitrage funds offer tax efficiency.

Consider liquidity, taxation, and risk factors before investing.

Market fluctuations can impact short-term returns in equity funds.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x