Home > Relationship > Question

Sign In | Create an account

Language:

Now in हिन्दी too

Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Anu Krishna |1304 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Question by Gopi on Mar 28, 2023Hindi

Relationship

From 5years we had ups and downs in live in relationship. Her age 40years and my age 53yrs. She had one son and got married living seperately. One daughter whom I have taken care of education and others like her father b'coz of her we have again separated. Living seperately. Now am confused whether I have continue or close our relationship

Ans: Dear Gopi,
I don't think you and this lady have spoken about the structure of the live-in.
Live-in seems like a very fancy thing to do, but it lacks a structure that marriage provides. So, if you are one of those people who needs the security and stability that marriage can offer and live-in can't, then maybe you are in the wrong place. Live-in isn't going to give you any commitments unless you both have agreed to live-in and see if it can turn into a commitment. If both of you have agreed that it is going to be a live-in only, do factor in how you are going to raise your respective children and also explain this facet of live-in with them.
Marriage definitely will give the children the necessary stability but if both the partners are mature enough to take on a live-in, the love and support in that environment can also welcome the children warmly.
So, it's time to evaluate what you seek: a live-in or a marriage and she must answer the same. Sit down together and discuss this at length begore taking any big decisions.

All the best!

RelationshipReply

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu Krishna |1304 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 05, 2023Hindi

Relationship

I am 42 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some compulsion they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot is still waiting for me and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
She is married and not happy and loves you BUT will not recognize your relationship in public!
You are unmarried and want to wait for someone who won't give you the presence that you deserve!
Do the right thing...allow her to be committed to her marriage rather than be her emotional crutch...in the long run, you will be left high and dry after investing a lot of emotions into her...
Shift focus onto your life and building it the way that you want. When you put your life and emotions into someone else's hands, you end up becoming a puppet swaying about with no stability whatsoever. Put more energies into yourself instead...

All the best!

Ravi Mittal |420 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2024

Question by P - Nov 15, 2023Hindi

Relationship

I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is refreshing to see someone so selfless as you. I understand and appreciate your love and how much you are ready to sacrifice for her. However, I would like to offer a suggestion – it's crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health in this situation. While it's unfortunate that she is dealing with challenges in her marriage, resorting to having an affair might not be the most constructive way to cope.

I suggest that she and her husband explore the option of seeking professional help through a marriage counselor. This could help them navigate the complexities of their relationship and make an informed decision about whether to continue their marriage or part ways. In case they decide to separate, it would be valid for you two to start a relationship and pursue a happy life together. But if they decide to remain married, I fear that you might end up sacrificing your own chance at a fulfilling love life. I realize that you might be okay with it, but it isn't fair to you.

I encourage you to have an open and honest discussion with her before committing to anything, ensuring that your feelings and well-being are also taken into account.

Best Wishes!

Kanchan Rai |403 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Question by P - Nov 22, 2023Hindi

Relationship

I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide

Ans: Dear P,
This is undoubtedly a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It's important to approach it with care and consideration for both your feelings and hers. Reflect on your own feelings and desires. Consider what you want in a relationship and whether you can realistically achieve those goals in this situation Talk to her about your concerns, fears, and the impact this situation has on both of you. Discuss the future and what you both want. Ensure that you're on the same page about your expectations and the potential challenges that may arise Understand the potential consequences of continuing this relationship. Consider the impact on her family, your own well-being, and the well-being of any children involved. Be realistic about the challenges you may face. Consider the long-term implications of the relationship. If there is no possibility of it evolving into a more conventional partnership and that is something you desire, you may need to evaluate whether continuing the relationship is in your best interest Ultimately, the decision you make should align with your values, desires, and what you believe is best for your overall well-being. It may be a difficult decision to make, but taking the time to reflect, communicate, and seek guidance can help you navigate this challenging situation.

Latest Questions

Aashish Sood |115 Answers |Ask -Follow

CAT, Management Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi

Career

BBA in branding and Advertising from NMIMS is better or UG in Luxury Brand and Retail management from Sydenham, which better option?

Ans: Unless you have an inclination towards Luxury brand and management, NMIMS seems to be a safer choice because:

1. NMIMS offers broader exposure; Sydenham is specialized.
2. NMIMS can provide better connections to multiple industries like FMCG, media, or startups.
3. NMIMS might have stronger corporate ties across industries.
4. If you plan on pursuing an MBA later, a broader BBA might give you more options.

Archana Deshpande |74 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi

Career

I am 21. I am a chronic overthinker. I am always thinking about what other people think about me or overanalysing situations and making things complicated. Is this a serious problem? What should I do?

Ans: Dear overthinker,

Thinking is a good trait to have, overthinking is not.

You literally have to STOP overthinking!!!

One way to overcome this is to stop thinking and become more action oriented. STOP analyzing everything in the head, put it on paper, there is something calming about putting thoughts on paper, writing them down with a pen and paper.
And then taking actions based on what you have written and no more thinking about it.

Indulge in physical activity, play a game which is more action oriented , this teaches you to be fully present in the moment, which helps you in being in the moment. Being fully present in the moment is what gets you out of overthinking.
Do meditate , I really can't enumerate all the benefits of meditation, what meditation does to people is beyond words.

There is a book called as, STOP OVERTHINKING by Nick Trenton, this book offers practical advice and exercises to help you break free from negative thoughts and worries. It provides evidence-based methods to combat overthinking and anxiety.

Another amazing book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of NOW", can help you.

There is no problem which can't be overcome, believe in yourself, you are more powerful than you think, the body and mind have to listen to you!!
What you think so you become, feed yourself the right thoughts and let the magic unfold.!!

All the best!!

Archana Deshpande |74 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi

Career

My manager is constantly manipulating his boss about me. Everyone in my team is aware that she is increasingly insecure about my success and feels threatened by me. She often gives incorrect and incomplete feedback due to which my manager feels that my manager is more efficient than I am. In the past, 4 people have quit or been foced to resign due to these politics. Should I also quit and move to another company or should I talk to the manager about this? Pls help

Ans: Hi!!

When I was working in the corporate world, the oft repeated quote was, "people don't leave the company ,they leave bad bosses".
Your manager's boss is your super boss, rt? Can't you go and speak to him directly and put your concerns across?
I am sure the HR must have noticed that people are quitting and might have explored the reasons why they are doing so too, do check with them.
I fail to understand why women should not cooperate with each other. You can also explore the option of talking directly to the manager and telling her if your actions in any way have caused some misunderstanding and if she says yes then you are willing to clear them. Also tell her that you are not eyeing her post and you are just trying to do your job well. I did the same with one of my bosses, it worked for me, we became the best of friends, we are still in touch. You need to think which is your best option and choose one from all the possible solutions I have mentioned. You can always quit, that's the last option I feel..

Hoping you choose wisely..All the very best!!

Archana Deshpande |74 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Question by Aman - Oct 11, 2024Hindi

Career

Sir, I am suffering from chronic insomnia, my mental condition is not good for work. It is affecting my work. I resigned from the job, I can 't serve the notice period. Company is not giving me relieving letter, What should I do?

Ans: Dear Aman,
Do remember, rules are meant to be followed...there are always consequences for not following them.
I think you should request your organisation to give you a relieving letter and submit the relevant medical papers for the same. If there is a penalty to be paid for not serving the notice period , please pay and get rid of this stress, at the end of the day peace of mind is more important than money. Looking for peace of mind will also solve your insomnia!!

hoping the best for you...

Archana Deshpande |74 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Question by ARUNMOZHICHOLAN - Aug 06, 2024Hindi

Career

How to overcome Stage fear

Ans: Dear Arun... it is a whole skill set you need to learn in order to overcome stage fear.
It involves mindset change, visualizations, confidence building exercises and finally practice, practice and more practice in order to master public speaking and overcome the fear of the stage.

Get in touch if you are really interested in working on this fear and becoming a stage performer.

All the best!!

Archana Deshpande |74 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Question by Prasenjit - Jun 07, 2024Hindi

Career

Hi madam.....iam an employee of PSB .iam serving bank for the past 11 years. Recently due to evolution of digital banking lots of work load has decrease and managment has stop recruiting staff for the past 5 years due to which i feel uncertain in working in bank because of banking career ,weathr psb wil survive in coming decade or it will be privatised.........

Ans: Prasenjit... your concerns are valid, however no one can actually know what the future holds. We can all speculate and get stressed about the future. It is only today and this moment that we have with us. Like railways in India it is very unlikely that PSBs will be privatised. Meanwhile what you can do is be a continuous learner, hone your skills , become indispensable to your organisation.
Keep your eyes, ears and heart/ mind to embrace the change and keep upgrading/learning and living life fearlessly.

All the very best!!

Nayagam P P |3911 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi

Career

What is the upper age limit for CA course and mbbs course.

Ans: The ICAI's Chartered Accountancy (CA) course in India has no upper age limit, allowing anyone to enroll. The MBBS course, however, has no upper age limit for general categories and reserved categories, as per the National Medical Commission's guidelines and NEET-UG entrance exam rules, subject to minimum Educational Qualfications. However, stay updated on these guidelines from the Official Websites of ICAI & NTA respectively. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

Dr Dipankar Dutta |688 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 17, 2024Hindi

Career

Iam 26 Yrs old currently working at Genpact in IT Operations.This is my first job after my PGDM Marketing.Now I want to shift to Data Analytics role but only after one and half year as per company policy.Can you suggest me what would be the best way to get into Data Analyst roles.Should I continue in same organization or switch to other company for a better career and will my PGDM help me for further senior roles?

Ans: What is the full form of PGDM? From which institution have you done your PGDM?

Asked on - Nov 18, 2024 | Answered on Nov 19, 2024

It is Post Graduate Diploma in Management which is equal to an MBA and I have done it from ITM Business School - Warangal. And my graduation is Biotechnology and Computer Applictions.

Ans: You should continue in same organization and should do online courses (masters) on Data Mining or Data Science as your basic degree is on different subjects. Data analysis is a subpart of Data Science.

Archana Deshpande |74 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 23, 2024Hindi

Career

Hello I was working in an airlines company and after few months of working I had to leave my job due to a family emergency. It has 2 years I’m doing any job and I’m taking care of my family business but I want to join again as it was dreams to work in aviation industry but I’m not able to lift my up again and it’s becoming very difficult. I’ve applied but I’m not getting calls from any of the company’s and this making me more stressed. Can you suggest what is the best I can do now?

Ans: Hi!!

If it's your dream to fly again, then please be at it... this passion itself should keep you from giving up. Groom yourself, do whatever it takes to be fit, keep your chin up, you have cracked the interview before and worked in this industry, this is your strength. Your time away was for family reasons and remember the lessons you learnt from being away from flying. Be honest in your interviews and show your reasons for joining back. Relook at your resume and then reapply....
Work on yourself, keep your goals realistic and have a positive outlook towards your dreams.

All the very best!!

Nayagam P P |3911 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Question by Priya - Nov 18, 2024Hindi

Career

my son is 8 year old studying in Class 3 . The classes occus is in morning shift from 6.30 am to 1.30 PM . after comming from the scholl he tired and not able to study in night . plz suggest the Correct time table for the second shift school child so that we can manage his tiredness and keep improving him in balanced way.

Ans: Priya Madam,

You have not provided information regarding the number of hours your son sleeps.

(1) Given that your son is only 8 years old, it is important to ensure he gets a minimum of 8 hours of sleep at night and 2 hours in the afternoon. Sleeping hours can be reduced once he enters the 6th Standard.

(2) Ensure he receives a balanced diet and nutritious food to sustain his energy levels. (3) Encourage him to maintain regular water intake to prevent dehydration. (4) Facilitate opportunities for him to take regular breaks and engage in play. (5) A 3rd standard student can't study for extended periods. He should study for 25 to 30 minutes, followed by a 10 to 15-minute break after each 25-minute study session.

(6) I am providing this information for general awareness. Parents should refrain from physically assaulting their children to achieve compliance, as this can undermine their self-confidence. (7) They should engage in more polite and loving communication with the children. (8) Children frequently observe their parents and tend to emulate their actions. Ensure that the environment at home is tranquil. (9) Addiction to electronic gadgets may also result in fatigue. (10) Regarding the Study Planner, it has been previously stated that regardless of whether he studies in the morning or evening, he should engage in study sessions of 25 minutes followed by a 10-minute break after each session. He will not experience fatigue, and the output will be increased. Hope, this answer will help you, Madam.

All the BEST for Your Prosperous Son's Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Video Reply
Audio Reply

WhatsApp
Facebook
Twitter
Copy link

Delete

Close

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus

Sign up

email

uname

mobile no

Country Code

Mobile number

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

LOGIN

x