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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
J Question by J on Dec 01, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I have lost my wife last year due to illness. I am now 71 years and both daughters settled abroad and staying alone resulting in depression. suggest me what to do

Ans: Dear J,
I am truly sorry for your loss and can only imagine how this has been affecting you!
The world has opened up through the power of the Internet and
- You can access various groups that boast of like-minded people who share interests similar to yours
- You can also take up teaching through the virtual medium so that the next generation can benefit from your expertise
- Reach out to old colleagues and connect with them and come up with an idea of doing a joint project together
- Hit a nearby park where you might find a Laughter Club, Yoga Club and other activities that will also keep you physically fit
- if you have ever thought of writing a book, NOW is the time
You get the drift? It's all about being part of a group or team that has a strong purpose that keeps you physically and mentally fit. You are only as lonely as you think...it feels real BUT when you channelize your time productively and purposefully, you will feel a sense of fulfilment!

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am a 53 years old male, lost my loving wife last year who was 46, I do have 2 kids who are into higher studies now aged 22 and 18, off late have been feeling very lonely and upset and have not been able to forget my late wife, life seems to be too useless now. Many a times i think of having a new partner for the rest of my life then these feelings also die down. Am quiet worried as to how I will be able to live second half of my life as sooner or later the children will be busy in their own lives, what to do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
The journey of grief is so different for each person and you can feel alright on one day and devastated on another day...Give your self ample time to grieve and speak about her; it will be painful but the more you allow yourself to speak about her, you will notice that you are closer to accepting the fact of your loss...it is a journey, so do take your time...
But in the meantime, do make sure that you do take help in the form of a support system of your family and friends. Yes, they do have their own lives but I am sure that they will step in kindly when it is required.
Also, you might find that you socially isolate yourself and move away from everything that used to give you joy. You must find a way of getting back to all of those things reminding yourself that you must live your life too...this is initially a way of filling the vacuum, but soon you will find that it does more that just distract you.

Finding another life partner is a decision that is yours to make; but I will suggest that you heal from the loss and then if and when you feel the time is right, you may seek a life partner. But right now, all you will do is find a huge respite to fill in your loneliness and not be able to form a connection with that person. So, take care of yourself first, heal well and then slowly make life-altering decisions.

All the best...I am sure you can do this!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, I am 51 have three kids, I am kidney patient my wife is not treating well and lived with me I used to visit home after 2-3 months but she is not happy with me and finally, i left home with broken heart every time. I am doing every best possible for the family financially as well as emotionally. my kids are also following her mother. What to do for me I am in frustrated mood always
Ans: I understand that you're in a very difficult situation and feeling frustrated. It's admirable that you're trying your best to provide for your family financially and emotionally while dealing with your health challenges. However, the lack of support and understanding from your wife and children must be incredibly painful.

Here are some suggestions that might help you navigate this challenging situation:

Seek Support:

Talk to a therapist or counselor: Talking to a professional can help you process your emotions, understand your options, and develop coping mechanisms to deal with the stress.
Connect with support groups: There are support groups for kidney patients and for families dealing with chronic illness. These groups can provide valuable emotional support and connect you with others who understand what you're going through.
Reach out to friends and family: Talk to trusted friends and family members about what's happening. Their support and understanding can be a source of strength.
Communicate openly:

Try to talk to your wife: If possible, have a calm and open conversation with your wife to understand her perspective. Share your feelings and needs honestly, and listen to hers as well. See if there's a way to improve communication and build a more supportive relationship.
Talk to your children: Have open and honest conversations with your children. Explain your health condition and the challenges you're facing. Encourage them to express their feelings and concerns as well.
Consider professional help:

Couples therapy: If you and your wife are willing, couples therapy can help you improve communication, address resentments, and work towards a more positive relationship.
Family therapy: Family therapy can help all of you communicate more effectively, understand each other's needs, and develop healthier family dynamics.
Take care of yourself:

Prioritize your health: Manage your kidney disease properly by following your doctor's instructions.
Engage in self-care: Make time for activities you enjoy, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time in nature. Taking care of yourself physically and mentally is crucial during this challenging time.
Explore legal options: If the situation is not improving, consider seeking legal advice to understand your rights and options regarding visitation with your children or separation from your wife.
Remember, you are not alone in this. There are people and resources available to help you through this difficult time. Don't hesitate to reach out for support and take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.

Here are some additional resources that may be helpful:

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 52-year-old man. 6 months back I lost my wife accidentally. I have one son and one daughter. My daughter is in 10th and my son is in 3rd year of engineering. In the absence of my wife, my entire house has been collapsed. Most of our relatives make decisions on my behalf. My kids don't listen to me, especially my son. For them, i am just supposed to take care of their needs and continue till the children get settled. Thereafter i should think about my life. It was a quite selfish decision by my children. My wife was a housewife. I am working very hard to give them a better life. But all my efforts are in vain. At present my mom is with me. She is old and trying to help us out but still, my kids don't like her. I have tried hard to ensure that they do not feel the absence of my wife. Everything has been cared for, but at the end of the day, I am alone. I don't know what will be the future. I want to go for a second marriage but my kids have threatened me that they will leave the house immediately even if I give it a thought. My journey has been quite stressful. I have loans which have to be paid by me. I need a partner with whom I can share my feelings, one who cares for me and takes care of me and my children. But in recent situations i am totally stressed and don't know how to handle it. need advise
Ans: Your children, however, seem to be struggling with their own grief and fears about change, and that’s creating tension between their needs and your desire for a second marriage. It sounds like they are clinging to the memory of their mother, which may be why they are so resistant to the idea of you remarrying. While their emotions are understandable, it’s unfair for them to dismiss your own needs or expect you to ignore your feelings for the sake of their expectations.

To handle this situation, it's important to begin by opening up an honest and compassionate dialogue with your children. They may not realize the extent of your loneliness or how much you're shouldering on your own. In this conversation, avoid focusing on remarrying immediately but instead express how you're feeling emotionally. Let them know that just as you’re doing your best to provide for them, you also need support and companionship. This might help them understand that your desire for a partner doesn’t mean you're replacing their mother, but that you need someone to help you heal and navigate life.

Grief counseling or family therapy could be very helpful here as well. Grief affects everyone differently, and a neutral professional can help you all work through these emotions together. Your son and daughter, especially being at different stages of their lives, might benefit from understanding how each of you is processing the loss differently.

As for the practical side, with your mother's help, you're already doing everything you can to keep things together. It's understandable that you need help beyond the daily chores—emotional and relational support is vital for anyone. Your children, though they are resisting now, may come to understand this over time, especially if the focus is on helping them adjust to their own loss first before you push the idea of marriage too far.

Lastly, do not give up on the thought of a second marriage if that’s what your heart truly wants. Your children may eventually understand, but it will take time and patience. Prioritize your emotional well-being and don’t feel guilty for wanting to find love and companionship again. After all, your happiness matters too, and a loving relationship can positively impact both you and your children once they’ve had time to adjust.

In the meantime, take one step at a time: focus on communication, seek external support like therapy, and make sure you're caring for yourself emotionally, even if it's hard right now.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10876 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

Money
Im aged 40 years and my husband is aged 48 years. We have one son aged 8 years and daughter aged 12 years. We both are in business. What should be the ideal corpus to meet their education at the age of 18 years for both children? Present business income we can save Rs.50000 pm
Ans: You are thinking early. That itself is a smart step. Many parents postpone planning and later struggle with loans. You are not in that situation. So appreciate your approach.

You asked about ideal corpus for higher education. Education cost is rising fast. So planning early avoids financial pressure later.

You have two kids. Your daughter is 12. Your son is 8. You have around six years for your daughter and around ten years for your son. With this time frame, you need a proper structured plan.

» Understanding Future Education Cost

Education inflation in India is high. It is increasing year after year. Even professional courses are becoming costly. College fees, hostel fees, books, digital tools and transportation also add cost.

You need to consider this inflation. Higher education cost will not remain at today’s value. It will grow.

So if today a standard undergraduate program costs around a few lakhs, in six to ten years the cost may go much higher. That is why estimating corpus should consider this future cost.

You don’t need exact numbers today. You need a target range to plan. A comfortable range gives clarity.

» Typical Cost Structure for Higher Education

Higher education cost depends on:

– Private or government institution
– Course type
– City or abroad option
– Duration

For engineering, medical, management or technology courses, cost goes higher. For government colleges the cost is lower but seats are limited. Private colleges are more accessible but expensive.

So planning based only on government college assumption may create funding gaps. Planning based on private college range gives safer margin.

» Suggested Corpus for Both Children

For your daughter, considering next six years gap and inflation, a target range should be higher. For your son, you have more time. So his corpus can grow better because compounding works more with time.

For a comfortable education corpus that covers most course possibilities, many families plan for a higher number. It gives flexibility to choose better college without stress.

So you can aim for a larger goal for both children like this:

– Daughter: Target a strong education fund for next six years
– Son: Target a similar or slightly higher fund for the next ten years because future costs may be higher

You may not need the whole amount if your child chooses a less expensive route. But having extra cushion gives peace.

» Your Savings Ability

You mentioned you can save Rs.50000 monthly. That is a strong saving capacity. But this saving should not go entirely to a single goal. You will also need future retirement planning, emergency fund and other life goals.

Still, a reasonable portion of this amount can be allocated towards education planning. Some families divide savings based on urgency and time horizon. Since daughter’s goal is near, she may need a more stable allocation.

Your son’s goal is long term. So his part can stay in growth asset for longer.

» Choosing the Right Investment Style

A long term goal like your son’s education needs equity exposure. Equity gives better potential for long term growth. It beats inflation better than fixed deposits.

But for your daughter, pure equity can create risk because goal is nearer. Market fluctuations may affect final corpus. So she needs a balanced asset mix.

So investment approach must be different for both.

» Asset Allocation Strategy

For your daughter with six year horizon:

– Higher allocation to a balanced type category
– Some allocation to equity through diversified categories
– Step down equity allocation in final three years

This structure protects capital in later years.

For your son with ten year horizon:

– Higher equity allocation at start
– Continue systematic investing
– Reduce risk allocation gradually closer to goal period

This helps growth and protection.

» Avoiding Wrong Investment Products

Parents often buy traditional insurance plans or children policies for education. These policies give low returns. They lock money and reduce wealth creation potential.

So avoid purely insurance based products for education goals. Insurance is separate. Investment is separate. This separation creates clarity and better growth.

If you already hold any ULIP or investment insurance product, it may not be efficient. Only if you have such policies then you may review and consider if surrender is needed and reinvest in mutual funds. If you don’t have such policies, no need to worry.

» Role of Actively Managed Mutual Funds

For long term goals, actively managed mutual funds offer better flexibility and expert management. They are designed to outperform inflation. A regular plan through a mutual fund distributor with CFP support helps with guidance. They also track your goal and give advice in volatile phases.

Direct funds look cheaper on expense ratio. But they lack advisory support. Long term investors often make emotional mistakes in direct investing. They stop SIPs or switch wrong schemes. So advisory backed investing avoids costly behaviour mistakes.

Index funds look simple and low cost. But they only follow the market. They don’t protect during corrections. There is no strategy or research. Actively managed funds adjust holdings based on market research and valuation. For life goals like education, smoother growth and strategy are needed.

So regular plan with advisory support helps you avoid unnecessary emotional decisions.

» Importance of Systematic Investing

A fixed monthly SIP gives discipline. It also benefits from market volatility. When markets fall, SIP buys more units. In rise phase, the value grows.

A structured SIP helps both goals. For daughter, SIP should shift towards low volatility funds slowly. For son, SIP can run longer in growth-oriented funds before reducing risk.

Your contribution amount may change based on future business income. But start now with whatever comfortable.

» Protecting the Goal With Insurance

Since you both are running business, income stability may fluctuate. So ensuring life security is important. Term insurance is the right option. It is low cost and high coverage.

This ensures child’s education is protected even if income stops.

Medical insurance also matters. A medical emergency should not break education savings.

» Reviewing the Plan Periodically

A fixed plan is good. But markets and life conditions change. So review once every twelve months.

Points to review:

– Are SIPs running on time?
– Is allocation suitable for goal year?
– Any need to shift from equity to safer category?
– Any tax planning advantage needed?

But avoid checking portfolio every week. Frequent checking creates stress.

» Education Goal Withdrawal Plan

As the daughter’s goal comes close:

– Stop SIP in high risk category
– Start shifting profit to debt type fund over systematic transfers
– Keep final year money in safe option like liquid category

Same formula should be applied for your son when his goal approaches.

This protects against last minute market crash.

» Emotional Side of Planning

Education is an emotional goal. Parents feel pressure to provide the best. But planning removes fear.

Saving consistently gives confidence. Having a plan helps avoid panic decisions. It also brings clarity of future expense.

This planning sets financial discipline for your children as well.

» Taxation Factors

When redeeming funds for education, tax rules will apply. For equity fund withdrawals, long term capital gains above exemption are taxed at 12.5% as per current rules. For short term within one year, tax is higher.

For debt investments, gains are taxed as per your tax slab.

So plan the withdrawal timing to reduce tax.

Tax planning near goal year is very important.

» What You Can Do Next

– Start separate investments for each child
– Use SIP for disciplined investing
– Choose growth-oriented asset for son
– Choose balanced and phased investment approach for daughter
– Review allocation yearly
– Protect the goal with insurance cover

Following these steps helps achieve the target corpus smoothly.

» Finally

You are already thinking in the right direction. You have time for both goals. You also have a good saving frequency. So you can build a strong education fund without stress.

Your children’s future will be secure if you continue with a structured and disciplined plan.

Stay consistent with your savings. Make investment choices carefully. Review and adjust calmly over time.

This journey will help you reach your ideal corpus for both children.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10876 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 09, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, Regarding recent turmoils in global economic situation and trends, Trump's tariffs, relentless FII selling, should I be worried about midcap, large&midcap funds that I have in my mutual fund portfolio? I have been investing from last 4 years and want to invest for next 10 years only. And then plan to retire and move to SWP. I'm targeting a 10%-11% return eventually. And I don't want to make lower returns than FD's. Is now the time to switch from midcap, laege&midcap to conservative, large, flexi funds? Please suggest.
Ans: You have asked the right question at the right time. Many investors panic only after damage happens. You are thinking ahead. That is a strong habit.

You also have clarity about your goal, time horizon and expected returns. This mindset will help you handle market noise better.

» Current Market Sentiment and Global Events
The global economy is seeing stress. There are trade decisions, tariff announcements, and geopolitical issues. Foreign institutional investors are selling. News flow looks negative.
These events can cause short term volatility. Midcaps and small caps usually react faster during these phases. Even large caps show some stress.
But markets have seen many crises in the past. Elections, governments, conflicts, pandemics, financial crashes and tariff wars are not new events. Markets always recover over time.
Short term movements are unpredictable. Long term wealth creation depends more on patience and asset allocation.

» Your Time Horizon Matters More Than Market Noise
You have been investing for 4 years. You plan to invest for the next 10 years. That means your remaining maturity is long term.
For a 10 year goal, equity is suitable. Midcap and large and midcap funds are designed for long term investors. They are not meant for short periods.
If your time horizon is short, it is valid to worry about downside risk. But with 10 more years ahead, temporary volatility is normal and expected.
Short term fear should not drive long term decisions.

» Should You Switch to Conservative or Large Cap Now?
Switching based on panic or temporary news is not ideal. When you switch now, you lock the current lower value permanently. You also miss the recovery phase.
Large cap and flexi cap funds offer stability. But they also deliver lower growth potential during bull runs compared to midcaps.
Midcaps usually fall deeper when markets drop. But they also recover faster and often outperform in the next cycle.
Switching now may protect emotions but may reduce long term wealth creation.

» Target Return of 10% to 11% is Reasonable
Aiming for 10%-11% return with a 10 year investment horizon is realistic.
Fixed deposits now offer around 6.5% to 7.5%. After tax, the return becomes lower.
Equity funds have potential to generate better returns compared to FD over a long tenure. Midcap allocation contributes to this return potential.
So moving fully to conservative funds may reduce your ability to beat inflation comfortably.

» Impact of FII Selling
FII selling creates pressure on the market. But domestic investors including SIP flows are strong today. India is seeing strong structural growth.
Retail investors, mutual funds and systematic flows act as stabilizers.
FII selling is temporary and cyclical. It is not a permanent trend.

» Economic Slowdowns Create Opportunities
Corrections make valuations reasonable. This can benefit long term SIP investors.
During downturns, your SIP buys more units. During recovery, these units grow.
This mechanism works best in volatile categories like midcaps.
Stopping SIP or switching during dips blocks this benefit.

» Midcap Cycles Are Natural
Midcap funds move in cycles. They have phases of strong growth followed by correction. The correction phase is painful but temporary.
Every cycle contributes to future upside. Staying invested during all phases is important.
Many investors exit during downturns and enter again after markets rise. This behaviour produces lower returns than the mutual fund performance.

» Role of Portfolio Balance
Instead of exiting fully, review your asset allocation. You can hold a mix of:
– Large cap
– Flexi cap
– Midcap
– Large and midcap
This gives stability and growth potential.
Midcap should not be more than a suitable percentage for your age and risk tolerance. Since you are 36, some meaningful midcap exposure is fine.
If midcap exposure is very high, you can reduce slightly and move that portion to flexi cap or large cap funds slowly through a systematic transfer. Do not do a lump sum shift during panic.

» Behavioural Discipline Matters More Than Fund Selection
Market cycles test investor patience. Consistency in SIP and holding through declines builds wealth.
Most investors do not fail due to bad funds. They fail due to fear-based decisions.
Your approach should be systematic, not emotional.

» Do Not Compare with FD Frequently
FD gives predictable return. Equity gives volatile but higher potential return.
Comparing FD returns every time the market falls leads to wrong decisions.
FD is for safety. Equity is for growth. They serve different purposes.
Your retirement plan and SWP plan depends on growth. Only equity can provide that growth.

» Should You Change Strategy Because Retirement is 10 Years Away?
Now is not the time to exit growth segments. You are still in accumulation phase.
When you reach the last 3 years before retirement, then reducing equity exposure step by step is required.
At that stage, a glide path helps preserve gains. That time has not yet come.
So continue building wealth now.

» Market Timings and Shifts Rarely Work
Many investors try to predict markets. Most of them fail.
Switching based on news looks logical. But news and market timing rarely align.
Staying consistent with your asset allocation gives better results than frequent changes.

» Portfolio Review Approach
You can follow these steps:
– Continue SIPs in all categories
– Avoid stopping based on short term fears
– If midcap allocation is above comfort level, shift only small portion gradually
– Review allocation once in a year, not every month
This structured approach prevents emotional decisions.

» Tax Rules Matter When Switching
Switching between equity funds involves tax impact.
Short term capital gains tax is higher.
Long term capital gains above the exemption limit are taxed at 12.5%.
Switching without purpose can create avoidable tax leakage.
This reduces your compounding.

» When to Worry?
You need to reconsider only if:
– Your goal horizon becomes short
– Your risk appetite changes
– Your allocation becomes unbalanced
Not because of headlines or temporary corrections.

» Your Retirement SWP Plan
Once your accumulation phase is completed, you can shift to:
– Conservative hybrid
– Flexi cap
– Balanced allocation
This will support a smoother SWP.
But this transition should happen only closer to the retirement start date. Not now.

» SIP is Designed for Turbulent Years
SIP works best when markets are volatile. The hardest years for emotions are the most powerful for compounding.
Your long term discipline is your strategy.
Do not interrupt it.

» What You Should Do Now
– Stay invested
– Continue SIP
– Avoid panic selling
– Review allocation once a year
– Use a steady plan, not reactions
This will help you reach your target return range.

» Finally
You are on the right path. The current volatility is temporary. Your 10 year horizon gives enough time for recovery and growth.
Switching right now based on fear may reduce your future returns. Staying invested and continuing SIPs is the sensible approach.
Your goal of better return than FD is realistic. Equity can deliver that with patience.
Stay calm and systematic.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6739 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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