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Kanchan Rai |496 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 08, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2023Hindi

I am 48 year old woman married for last 23 years. I live in a joint family with in laws and a unmarried sister in law of my age. I have two children, daughter aged 19 and son 16. My in laws did have cordial relationship among them and always lived in separate room. My sister in law also has severe depression and due that she is unmarried. Husband had a good job before pandemic but is not willing to work from last four years and is sitting at home. I don't have good relationship with my sister in law from day one without any reason. She finds faults with me. My in laws do not admit that sister in law has any depression. We don't have any social life. My in law does not let any one come in the house. This has taken a toll on my daughter who does enjoy social and avoids any interaction. My sister in law keeps on playing with strays dogs bringing them in the house and so my daughter. I am a working woman. I am very worried concerned and worried about my daughter although I have sent her in the hostel. The son is much affected and concentrating on his studies. Please help me.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your family. It seems like you're dealing with multiple challenges, including a strained relationship with your sister-in-law, your husband's unemployment, your in-laws' unwillingness to acknowledge your sister-in-law's depression, and the impact all of this is having on your children.

here are some suggestions that might help improve the situation:

Communication: Try to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about your concerns and the impact his unemployment is having on the family. Express your feelings and discuss possible solutions together.
Seek professional help: Encourage your sister-in-law to seek professional help for her depression. Offer your support and understanding, and let her know that you care about her well-being. If she is unwilling to seek help, you may want to consider talking to a mental health professional yourself for guidance on how to deal with the situation.
Family meeting: Arrange a family meeting involving your husband, in-laws, and possibly your sister-in-law (if she is willing). Share your concerns about the strained relationships and the negative impact on your children. Try to find common ground and work together to establish healthier dynamics within the family.
Establish boundaries: Talk to your husband and in-laws about the need for personal space and privacy. Explain how it's affecting your daughter's social life and well-being. Encourage them to be more open to allowing visitors and social interactions within reasonable limits.
Support for your children: Continue supporting your daughter and son by providing a nurturing and understanding environment. Encourage your daughter to explore her interests and engage in social activities outside of the family. Consider involving them in extracurricular activities, clubs, or organizations that align with their interests to help them build a supportive social network.
Seek external support: If the situation doesn't improve, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support to you and your family members. They can help you navigate through the challenges and offer strategies for coping with the situation.
Remember that it may take time to resolve these complex issues, and it's important to prioritize your own well-being as well. Take care of yourself and seek support from friends or other family members who can provide a listening ear and advice during this difficult time.