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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 43 years male. Got married at the age of 38. My marriage last hardly 2 years. From 3-4 years we love separately. She always use to fight for small small reasons. Some time without reasons. Always check use to check my mobile and doubt on me. I cougt her chatting with some stranger. After asking telling her that person is her well wisher.. i doubt on her. She alway hide many things. Never openup and ahare anything. She used to lie with me. I caught her many times about this. I asking her for divorce but she is not ready for.. she still wants to stay with me.. but i don't like her now...pls guide.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A lot that could have been sorted out has gotten worse now.
But of course, we can't change what's happened in the past right?
If the two of you are sure that the marriage will not work, then it is better to separate legally. But since she isn't agreeing to it, take this to a lawyer; she may contest. Do know that this process may go on for years...
Kindly hire a good lawyer who can guide you on the legal processes.

All the best!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2023

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I am 33 year old and my wife is 2 year elder than me, we married in 2014 and we have a son who is 5 year old. But i noticed from last 6 years she didn't interested in me. I tried a lot to make her smile many times i do what she want, even if i do something i want she never be so happy. I done a conversation with her a lot about that but she said she is not fit, she always think about her anxiety and cervical issue. We hardly do sex sometimes maybe once in a month, she never ask me to do, she try to hide her feelings her lot i ask many times to be open. She just show anger on me many times on small topics, even she picks issues and those are very small. I ask already do you like to take divorce then tell me, but she didn't replied and angry again. She just give a excuse that i am not well having cervical pain, even we go to many doctors. Many times she is watching reels and Kdramas she keep ignoring me. What should i do ? Sometimes i think i should find someone outside for my happy life ? Because like that i kill my feelings and myself i think that because this is not compromise for family as i think ?
Ans: It is sad to hear that you are experiencing this in your marriage. It's important to understand that a lack of interest or intimacy in a marriage can have many different causes, including physical and emotional issues. It's also important to remember that communication is key in any relationship, and it sounds like you have tried to have conversations with your wife about your concerns.

However, it's also important to recognize that if you are feeling unfulfilled and unhappy in your marriage, seeking intimacy outside of the marriage is not a solution. Infidelity can cause irreparable damage to a relationship and can also be emotionally devastating for all parties involved.

Instead, I would encourage you to continue to communicate with your wife about your concerns and explore different ways to address the issues that you are experiencing. This may involve seeking counseling or therapy together, or it may involve taking steps to address any physical or emotional issues that are impacting your wife's interest in intimacy.

Ultimately, the decision to end a marriage is a deeply personal one that should be made after careful consideration and with the guidance of a professional counselor or therapist. If you feel like your needs are not being met in your marriage and you are considering divorce, I would encourage you to seek the support and guidance of a qualified professional to help you navigate this difficult process.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1765 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am married from last 15 year, having a daughter , my realtion with my wife is very bad, she is like this since start of marriage, our is arrange marriage. She didn't want any kind of responsibility, she always want to go out and if possible do shopping, if I asked not to over spend she thinks not sure what and create scene. She fight with everyone even in office or with her parents, she blames other for all this, never ever think she can be wrong, she is having a feeling if you correct her , she not going to like it, she will say no need to teach me , I know. She even not hving very good relationship with my daughter, she is in class 10th and staying in baording. I am hving 2 flat just like jodi flat adjacant to each other, i am staying in one and she is in another , she hardly let me hv sex, but she talks or chat with stranger whole night, i try to question her but she started fighting, she didn't listen and do what ever she want, if u question she will fight, i really don't know how to handle this situation, I am feeling trapped and she is accusing me for all the mess. We had fight lots of time , we abused each other during fight a lot , but the problem still persist nothing changed in 15 years recently after fight i stop talking with her . Not sure how I should move forward , i talked with my daughter and she also suggesting me leave her for some time she will realize , should i go for divorce or how to move forward.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, i am 43 year male with 2kids....married from last 13yrs. My wife is very good in house work and take care of my kids...she loves me alot but mostly she show us like she is doing us a favour by doing all this and many times stop talking and behave like she doesnt care about anyone....if i ask something she reply rudely. I am fedup of all this behaviour...i do my maximum efforts to make her happy but cant understand what is the issue with her....if i talk about her behaviour then she blames me fot everything...i wants to be happy with my family...pls suggess.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing in your marriage. It sounds like despite your wife’s efforts in taking care of the household and the children, her behavior is causing significant stress for you.

Your wife's actions might be influenced by feeling overwhelmed or unappreciated. Managing the home and caring for the kids can be exhausting, and she might feel like her efforts go unnoticed. This can lead to frustration and the impression that she's doing everything as a favor, resulting in her becoming distant or irritable.

Try to talk with her during a calm moment, expressing your concerns without placing blame. You might say, "I've noticed you seem stressed lately. I want to understand how you're feeling and see how I can help." Listening to her and showing appreciation for her work can help alleviate some of her stress and improve your connection.

If these conversations don't lead to improvement, consider seeking help from a professional counselor. They can facilitate better communication and help both of you address deeper issues.

Your goal is a happy and supportive family environment. Working together with empathy and understanding can help you both move towards a more fulfilling relationship. If you continue to struggle, don't hesitate to reach out for support from professionals or loved ones. Your effort and commitment are crucial steps toward finding a solution.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11023 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 09, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi, Am a regular reader of 'Money' section, and wanted to start by thanking you for sharing valuable insights and guidance. A common comment at the end of most of these suggestions is a recommendation to connect with a Certified Financial Planner, which is where my questions are: a) Do these CFPs charge basis a % of portfolio or hourly rate or any other basis? b) Could you please advise on a criteria for selection - is there a rating or grading information that can be viewed to decide on a particular planner? Could you share a few tips on how to make an educated choice? c) Is there a repository / directory that provides CFPs by area [e.g., I went to "FPSB India", and it did provide me with area based options, but only as a list of names. Not sure if it provides any further credentials. Are there any more such sites that helps with a brief Introduction / write-ups for CFPs before connecting with them? Thank you.
Ans: Thank you for reading the ‘Money’ section regularly and for your kind words. It is encouraging to see readers thinking deeply about advice quality and not just products. Your questions are very relevant and show a mature approach to personal finance.

» How Certified Financial Planners usually charge
– A Certified Financial Planner can operate under different models
– If the CFP is also registered as an Investment Adviser (RIA):

They may charge a fixed annual fee

Or an hourly / project-based fee

Or a combination of fixed fee plus a small percentage of assets under advice
– If the CFP is also a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD):

They do not charge fees directly to the client

They earn performance-linked commissions from mutual funds

This commission is built into the product cost and paid by the fund house
– The key point is transparency: a good CFP clearly explains how they are compensated before engagement

» How to choose the right Certified Financial Planner
– Start with credentials, not popularity
– Check that the person is an active CFP professional and not just using the term loosely
– Important selection criteria to consider:

Years of experience in comprehensive financial planning, not just selling products

Ability to cover all areas like goal planning, tax, insurance, retirement, estate basics

Process-driven approach rather than product-driven conversations

Willingness to understand your full financial picture before suggesting solutions
– During the first interaction, observe:

Are they asking more questions than giving quick answers?

Are they explaining concepts in simple language?

Are they comfortable saying “this is not suitable for you”?
– Comfort and trust matter; financial planning is a long-term relationship

» Ratings, reviews, and public information – practical view
– Unlike doctors or hotels, CFPs do not have a universal rating or grading system
– Online reviews can help, but should not be the only filter
– Consistency of thought, clarity of communication, and ethical positioning are more important than star ratings

» Directories and where to find CFPs
– FPSB India is the primary and official body that lists Certified Financial Planners
– Their directory helps you find CFPs city-wise, which is a good starting point
– The limitation, as you noticed, is that it mainly provides names and basic details
– Beyond this:

Many CFPs maintain their own websites, blogs, or YouTube channels where their thinking is visible

Articles, interviews, and long-form content give a better sense of philosophy than a simple profile
– There is no single platform today that provides detailed write-ups and comparisons of CFPs
– Hence, shortlisting 2–3 CFPs and having an introductory discussion is often the most practical method

» How to make an educated final choice
– Prefer planners who focus on planning before products
– Avoid those who push for immediate switches or drastic actions in the first meeting
– Ask clearly:

How will my progress be reviewed year after year?

How do you handle market ups and downs with clients?
– A good CFP aims for long-term discipline and peace of mind, not short-term excitement

» Final Insights
– Your approach of understanding the advisory ecosystem before engaging is wise
– There is no “perfect” charging model; clarity, alignment, and ethics matter more
– Spend time evaluating the planner, just as they evaluate your finances
– The right Certified Financial Planner adds value not only through returns, but through structure, clarity, and confidence

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Vivek

Vivek Lala  |324 Answers  |Ask -

Tax, MF Expert - Answered on Feb 08, 2026

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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