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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 37yrs old, married for 6yrs now, my wife - 35yrs, having a kid of 14 months.We both are working. My wife is very dedicated person, and takes care of household . I respect her this attitude and try to contribute in whatever possible ways. My problem is - my brother in law(elder than my wife, and unmarried currently) is staying since 1.5yrs with us. Due to personality differences, it is not easy at all to get along in day to day activities with him. And, my wife gets upset if I hint her - to ask him stay separately. Please help me, how to make her realize this - as it is causing stress and it's not easy at all to continue like this for long.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am assuming that your brother-in-law is your wife's brother which explains why she may not want to ask him to move out.
But, if there is a general discomfort and personality clashes, I guess you must express your concerns to your wife. Too much of being on each others' faces only causes stress around the house.
See if there can be a WIN-WIN in this situation where the brother-in-law can visit over the weekends or your wife can visit him when she wishes to. That way, she will not feel the pain of asking him to move out.
If this also doesn't work out, do make her aware that this is putting a strain on the marriage. If she cannot talk about this without it upsetting her or understanding the impact of her decision to have her brother at home, then she needs to know that she has begun to take her marriage for granted.
So, talk to her on moving towards the WIN-WIN...that seems like the only way out through this situation.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Relationship
I’m 39 male, married for last 10 years and have 2 kids. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family with my two elder sisters. One of my sisters got married in 2012 and got divorced. She lives with me and my other sister got married 4 years ago. She lives with her husband in the same house. We have a big bungalow. My 2nd sister’s husband’s house is very small and my sister doesn't want to live there that's why she lives in the same house with me. The problem is my wife doesn't want to live there with my sister. She always asks why your sister is not going to her husband’s house? Why is she living here? They don't like each other. They talk to each other for the sake of formality. I told my sister to go and live with her husband's house but she says 'I don't want to live there with their family; I will live here. This is my parents’ house.'Because of this I don't talk to her too much. My wife says I don't want to live here with them, let us stay in another house. But I cannot afford another home. I tell my wife that stay here because we cannot afford another home. This is our home. But she does not understand and we fight every week about this. I am stuck and cannot focus on my work because of this. Pls suggest what should I do?
Ans:

Dear C,

It’s a small crowd that you are all living in.

Too many people in one home can have its highs and lows. Privacy can be invaded and too many interferences from family members can cause a crack in the marriage.

Having said this, I do empathize with the fact that affordability of another home is an issue here.

So, have you tried getting back to the drawing board, bringing in all the members together and literally asking them to throw all that they have for and against one another.

If not, please initiate this. Simply explaining to your wife isn’t going to solve the problem.

If so many of you live under one roof, then it becomes everyone’s responsibility to pool in physically, financially and emotionally.

Your 2nd sister cannot cite reasons that she doesn’t want to live at her husband’s home. If she lives with you, how is she contributing to the home?

These are things that must be ironed out sooner than later. So, what are you waiting for?

Plunge in, bring everyone into the ring, talk, delegate responsibilities and ask them how they would like to contribute and share.

This will also allow your wife a feeling that you care, but that she needs to know your financial situation as well.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
HI mam, i am 55 year old married staying with wife & two daughters & i am earning a good salary, no loans nothing & we can live happily. My wife bit under educated ( 12 std) & she has some health issues also (arthritis from past one year) & getting treatment. We are living separately from my parents from the past 17 years. My wife does not like my mother ( 80 years with old age health issues) coming to my home since my wife commanded by my mother when we were staying with my parents 17 years back. Still she has that old days struggle in her mind & there is a clash between me & my wife whenever my mother comes to my home. So many times I told her to forget all old bad days memories live today's happy life which she never wants to forget. My father passed away 04 years back & my mother comes to my home whenever there is a function or due to health issue stays for hardly about 15-20 days in a year. How to resolve this issue & get back happiness in my family.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I wish it were easy to forget...and it's a matter of choice whether we want to keep the past behind us or bring it again and again in out present moment. If your wife does not choose to keep the past behind, it is going to be a huge nightmare for you and especially you constantly having to mediate between your mother and wife.
Yes, since your mother stays only for a few days with you in a year, it is fair of you to expect your wife to 'adjust'...But she is unwilling, so what do you do?
If you can afford to keep your mother in a separate room and have someone care for her just for those 20 days, it will keep your wife away and having to do anything with your mother. So, your mother's needs are taken care of AND your wife has nothing to do with her.
You cannot force anyone to like someone else and that's what is happening at your home. Your wife has her reasons and your mother would have had hers when she was playing the active role of a mother-in-law. Let bygones be bygones. You want your mother to be treated well for that short time in your home; then give her just that...But without expecting that your wife is going to agree to anything. Instead, do what you need to for your ageing mother but keep your wife off the responsibility...That should keep both sides satisfied...
Life is filled with curve balls; you just learn to navigate then better every time...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1452 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1151 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

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Career
What should I do after my bsc in medical
Ans: Hello Priyanka.
It is not clear whether either of you has completed your B.Sc. in Medical or not. But I am assuming that you are presently pursuing it. The scope of this branch is wide. Either you can pursue the job, or you can start your own business. However, I would like to suggest that if possible, you do a DMLT course to start an authentic lab. Working as a technician or technical assistant may not boost your career to a great extent, and the salary may also not increase proportionately. Hence, it is better to add a course with a B.Sc. that will help you start your business. With a small capital, you can even start a business selling surgical items, which could turn into a big business in just a few years. Best of luck for your upcoming future.
If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7606 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

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Money
Where should I invest Rs. 50000 in Index mutual fund or in ETF?
Ans: When deciding between Index Mutual Funds, ETFs, and actively managed diversified equity funds, actively managed funds often stand out. Let’s analyse why active diversified equity funds are a better option for your Rs. 50,000 investment.

Understanding Index Funds and ETFs
Index Funds: These passively replicate an index like NIFTY 50 or SENSEX. They aim to match the market’s performance, not beat it.

ETFs (Exchange Traded Funds): Similar to index funds but trade like stocks on exchanges. They require a Demat account.

Disadvantages of Index Funds and ETFs
Limited Returns Potential
Index funds and ETFs only track the market.
They cannot outperform the benchmark, even when market conditions allow for superior performance.
No Protection in Market Downturns
Index funds replicate the index, so they fall equally during market downturns.
Active funds may reduce losses with better sector and stock allocation.
Lack of Professional Judgment
Index funds follow pre-set rules, ignoring company-specific fundamentals.
Actively managed funds use professional fund managers who adjust portfolios to maximise gains.
Hidden Costs in ETFs
ETFs may seem cost-effective but involve additional brokerage and Demat account charges.
Liquidity issues can lead to price variations between the market price and NAV.
Benefits of Active Diversified Equity Funds
Potential for Superior Returns
Experienced fund managers aim to outperform the benchmark.
They carefully select high-potential stocks across sectors and market caps.
Flexibility in Stock Selection
Active funds are not restricted to index stocks.
They pick companies with strong fundamentals, growth prospects, and attractive valuations.
Downside Protection
Fund managers can reduce exposure to risky sectors during market downturns.
This minimises losses compared to passive funds.
Tax Efficiency with Strategic Planning
Gains can be optimised with periodic review and rebalancing.
Active funds often deliver better after-tax returns over the long term.
Why Rs. 50,000 Fits Well in Active Diversified Equity Funds
A one-time investment of Rs. 50,000 deserves active management for maximised growth.
Over 5–10 years, active funds are better positioned to beat inflation and create wealth.
Suggested Allocation for Active Diversified Equity Funds
Large-Cap Equity Funds (30%-40%): Stability and consistent returns.
Flexi-Cap Equity Funds (40%-50%): Flexibility to invest across market caps.
Mid-Cap Equity Funds (20%-30%): Higher growth potential with moderate risk.
Key Considerations
Stay invested for at least 7–10 years for compounding benefits.
Review performance annually and rebalance if needed.
Avoid chasing short-term trends or reacting to market noise.
Final Insights
Index funds and ETFs are suitable for certain scenarios, but they lack active management benefits. By investing Rs. 50,000 in actively managed diversified equity funds, you can maximise returns, minimise risks, and benefit from professional expertise.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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