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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 12, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 37yrs old, married for 6yrs now, my wife - 35yrs, having a kid of 14 months.We both are working. My wife is very dedicated person, and takes care of household . I respect her this attitude and try to contribute in whatever possible ways. My problem is - my brother in law(elder than my wife, and unmarried currently) is staying since 1.5yrs with us. Due to personality differences, it is not easy at all to get along in day to day activities with him. And, my wife gets upset if I hint her - to ask him stay separately. Please help me, how to make her realize this - as it is causing stress and it's not easy at all to continue like this for long.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am assuming that your brother-in-law is your wife's brother which explains why she may not want to ask him to move out.
But, if there is a general discomfort and personality clashes, I guess you must express your concerns to your wife. Too much of being on each others' faces only causes stress around the house.
See if there can be a WIN-WIN in this situation where the brother-in-law can visit over the weekends or your wife can visit him when she wishes to. That way, she will not feel the pain of asking him to move out.
If this also doesn't work out, do make her aware that this is putting a strain on the marriage. If she cannot talk about this without it upsetting her or understanding the impact of her decision to have her brother at home, then she needs to know that she has begun to take her marriage for granted.
So, talk to her on moving towards the WIN-WIN...that seems like the only way out through this situation.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Relationship
I’m 39 male, married for last 10 years and have 2 kids. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family with my two elder sisters. One of my sisters got married in 2012 and got divorced. She lives with me and my other sister got married 4 years ago. She lives with her husband in the same house. We have a big bungalow. My 2nd sister’s husband’s house is very small and my sister doesn't want to live there that's why she lives in the same house with me. The problem is my wife doesn't want to live there with my sister. She always asks why your sister is not going to her husband’s house? Why is she living here? They don't like each other. They talk to each other for the sake of formality. I told my sister to go and live with her husband's house but she says 'I don't want to live there with their family; I will live here. This is my parents’ house.'Because of this I don't talk to her too much. My wife says I don't want to live here with them, let us stay in another house. But I cannot afford another home. I tell my wife that stay here because we cannot afford another home. This is our home. But she does not understand and we fight every week about this. I am stuck and cannot focus on my work because of this. Pls suggest what should I do?
Ans:

Dear C,

It’s a small crowd that you are all living in.

Too many people in one home can have its highs and lows. Privacy can be invaded and too many interferences from family members can cause a crack in the marriage.

Having said this, I do empathize with the fact that affordability of another home is an issue here.

So, have you tried getting back to the drawing board, bringing in all the members together and literally asking them to throw all that they have for and against one another.

If not, please initiate this. Simply explaining to your wife isn’t going to solve the problem.

If so many of you live under one roof, then it becomes everyone’s responsibility to pool in physically, financially and emotionally.

Your 2nd sister cannot cite reasons that she doesn’t want to live at her husband’s home. If she lives with you, how is she contributing to the home?

These are things that must be ironed out sooner than later. So, what are you waiting for?

Plunge in, bring everyone into the ring, talk, delegate responsibilities and ask them how they would like to contribute and share.

This will also allow your wife a feeling that you care, but that she needs to know your financial situation as well.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
HI mam, i am 55 year old married staying with wife & two daughters & i am earning a good salary, no loans nothing & we can live happily. My wife bit under educated ( 12 std) & she has some health issues also (arthritis from past one year) & getting treatment. We are living separately from my parents from the past 17 years. My wife does not like my mother ( 80 years with old age health issues) coming to my home since my wife commanded by my mother when we were staying with my parents 17 years back. Still she has that old days struggle in her mind & there is a clash between me & my wife whenever my mother comes to my home. So many times I told her to forget all old bad days memories live today's happy life which she never wants to forget. My father passed away 04 years back & my mother comes to my home whenever there is a function or due to health issue stays for hardly about 15-20 days in a year. How to resolve this issue & get back happiness in my family.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I wish it were easy to forget...and it's a matter of choice whether we want to keep the past behind us or bring it again and again in out present moment. If your wife does not choose to keep the past behind, it is going to be a huge nightmare for you and especially you constantly having to mediate between your mother and wife.
Yes, since your mother stays only for a few days with you in a year, it is fair of you to expect your wife to 'adjust'...But she is unwilling, so what do you do?
If you can afford to keep your mother in a separate room and have someone care for her just for those 20 days, it will keep your wife away and having to do anything with your mother. So, your mother's needs are taken care of AND your wife has nothing to do with her.
You cannot force anyone to like someone else and that's what is happening at your home. Your wife has her reasons and your mother would have had hers when she was playing the active role of a mother-in-law. Let bygones be bygones. You want your mother to be treated well for that short time in your home; then give her just that...But without expecting that your wife is going to agree to anything. Instead, do what you need to for your ageing mother but keep your wife off the responsibility...That should keep both sides satisfied...
Life is filled with curve balls; you just learn to navigate then better every time...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

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Dr Shyam

Dr Shyam Jamalabad  |84 Answers  |Ask -

Dentist - Answered on Dec 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi
Health
Hi Doctor, I’ve been hearing a lot about mouthwash and floss lately, and I’m confused about whether I really need to use it. I brush regularly 2 times, but sometimes I feel like my breath isn’t as fresh as I’d like it to be. I also want to keep my teeth strong and prevent any issues with bacteria. Can you tell me if mouthwash is necessary even if I’m already brushing and flossing? If yes, which type of mouthwash would be best for someone like me? I’ve heard that it can sometimes cause mouth sores or sensitivity, so I want to make sure it’s safe for me.
Ans: Hello
I'm happy to know you brush and floss regularly. Please continue to do so.
While poor oral hygiene is the leading cause of bad breath, it is definitely not the only cause. Please be informed that it can be caused by various other factors, too.

Here are some of the most common causes of bad breath, also known as HALITOSIS.

Oral Health Issues
1. _Poor oral hygiene_: Infrequent brushing and flossing can lead to the buildup of bacteria, plaque, and tartar, causing bad breath.
2. _Gingivitis and gum disease_: Inflammation and infection of the gums can cause bad breath.
3. _Tooth decay and cavities_: Bacteria in the mouth can break down food particles, especially sugars, and release volatile sulfur compounds (VSCs) that cause bad breath.

Food and Drinks
1. _Onions and garlic_: These foods contain sulfur compounds that can be released in the mouth and cause bad breath.
2. _Coffee and tobacco_: These substances can dry out the mouth, leading to an increase in bacteria and VSCs.
3. _Spicy or acidic foods_: Foods like citrus fruits, tomatoes, and spicy dishes can irritate the mouth and cause bad breath.

Medical Conditions
1. _Diabetes_: Uncontrolled diabetes can lead to dry mouth, which can contribute to bad breath.
2. _Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD)_: Stomach acid can flow up into the mouth, causing bad breath.
3. _Sinus infections and respiratory issues_: Postnasal drip and respiratory infections can cause bad breath.
4. _Kidney disease and liver disease_: These conditions can cause a buildup of toxins in the body, leading to bad breath.

Lifestyle Factors
1. _Smoking and tobacco use_: Tobacco products can dry out the mouth and cause bad breath.
2. _Alcohol consumption_: Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to dry mouth and bad breath.
3. _Medications_: Certain medications, such as antidepressants, antihistamines, and decongestants, can cause dry mouth and bad breath.
4. _Hormonal changes_: Hormonal fluctuations during menstruation, pregnancy, or menopause can lead to bad breath.

Other Factors
1. _Dry mouth_: A lack of saliva can contribute to bad breath.
2. _Mouth breathing_: Breathing through the mouth instead of the nose can dry out the mouth and cause bad breath.
3. _Poor digestion_: Undigested food particles in the stomach can be released into the mouth, causing bad breath.


If you're concerned about bad breath, it's essential to consult your dentist so that he can examine your teeth and gums thoroughly to rule out local factors and address any underlying medical conditions.

Mouthwashes definitely help by keeping the oral bacteria under control. At least temporarily. They mask mouth odours and give you a feeling of freshness.
But the root cause of the problem still needs to be identified and suitably treated. Also, please note that mouthwashes are not a substitute for regular brushing and flossing.
Your dentist will guide you on what mouthwash suits you best depending on your lifestyle, oral hygiene and medical history.
Meanwhile, here are some good attributes to look for in a mouthwash:

Active Ingredients
1. _Antibacterial agents_: Chlorhexidine, triclosan, or essential oils (e.g., tea tree oil) to combat bacteria and plaque.
2. _Anti-inflammatory agents_: Ingredients like aloe vera or chamomile to reduce gum inflammation.
3. _Antifungal agents_: Ingredients like domiphen bromide to combat fungal infections.
4. _Fluoride_: To strengthen tooth enamel and prevent decay.

Additional Benefits
1. _Anti-plaque and anti-gingivitis properties_: To help prevent the buildup of plaque and reduce the risk of gingivitis.
2. _Bad breath prevention_: Ingredients like chlorine dioxide or zinc to help eliminate volatile sulfur compounds (VSCs) that cause bad breath.
3. _Sensitivity relief_: Ingredients like potassium nitrate or strontium chloride to help desensitize nerves and provide relief from tooth sensitivity.
4. _Whitening agents_: Mild abrasives or hydrogen peroxide to help remove surface stains and whiten teeth.

Safety and Comfort
1. _Alcohol-free_: To avoid drying out the mouth and reducing saliva production.
2. _Sugar-free and artificial sweetener-free_: To make the mouthwash suitable for people with dietary restrictions or preferences.
3. _pH balanced_: To ensure the mouthwash doesn't disrupt the natural pH balance of the mouth.
4. _Gentle and non-irritating_: To minimize the risk of mouth irritation, especially for people with sensitive teeth or gums.

...Read more

Dr Shyam

Dr Shyam Jamalabad  |84 Answers  |Ask -

Dentist - Answered on Dec 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Health
Doctor, I’ve recently noticed that my gums bleed a little when I brush, and they feel a little tender, especially around the back. I did some quick research online, and it sounds like it could be gingivitis, but I’m not really sure. I’ve always been pretty regular with brushing, but I might not be doing it thoroughly, and I don’t always floss. I am 38 and was wondering, is it possible for me to treat or even cure gingivitis by myself at home? Should I just start using a specific mouthwash or change my brushing routine? Or is this something I should see a dentist about right away? I’m hoping it’s something simple I can handle without needing a visit to the dentist.
Ans: Mild gingivitis can be treated and managed at home with good oral hygiene practices and some natural remedies. However, if the condition persists or worsens, it's essential to consult a dentist for professional treatment.

Home Treatment and Prevention:

1. *Brushing and Flossing*: Brush your teeth at least twice a day and floss once a day to remove plaque and food particles.
2. *Saltwater Rinse*: Rinse your mouth with warm saltwater several times a day to reduce inflammation and kill bacteria.
3. *Antibacterial Mouthwash*: Use a commercial hydrogen peroxide/chlorhexidine gluconate mouthwash to kill bacteria and reduce inflammation.
4. *Dietary Changes*: Eat a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, and avoid sugary and processed foods.
5. *Vitamin C* plays a significant role in gingival health. So make sure you have fresh citrus fruits (preferably unrefrigerated) on a regular basis. The other option is to take Vitamin C supplements.

When to Consult a Dentist:

1. *Persistent Gingivitis*: If your gingivitis persists despite good oral hygiene practices and home remedies.
2. *Severe Symptoms*: If you experience severe symptoms like bleeding gums, pain, or swelling.
3. *Gum Recession*: If you notice gum recession or exposed roots.
4. *Loose Teeth*: If your teeth become loose or mobile.


Remember, while home treatment and natural remedies can help manage mild gingivitis, regular dental check-ups and professional cleanings are essential to prevent and treat gum disease.

...Read more

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