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Anu Krishna  |984 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 36 years old widow. My husband passed away 1.5 yrs back. I have a 5 yr old daughter who is autistic. Financially independent, I don't feel like marrying again but my parents are trying hard to convince me to get married again. My apprehensions are what if the next husband doesn't accept my daughter whole heartedly as she is a special kid. But at the same time, I also sometimes feel that she shouldn't be devoid of fatherly love.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
Do exactly what feels right to you; someday if you feel different and choose to act on it, then think about it...if you are content in the current situation, what is the need to change it? Parents are just concerned for you and also as to how you are going to 'live all alone'...especially as they watch themselves grow old and know that they can't be around you forever. These realizations make them think the way that they do.
Talk to them and let them see that for now you are at peace with what is...your concerns about a new person accepting your daughter is something to think about but who knows...someday along the way, things may change, you may think different...
Till then, do exactly what feels right!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |984 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 43 years old . My wife passed away 3 years ago. I have a 13 years old child.My relatives are asking me to get re-married. I am in confused state. Should I remarry or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry for your loss; the passing on of a spouse almost feels like you live that grief everyday.
Your relatives are simply reacting to what they see as loneliness that you are living and that you can bring a Mother for a child.
Now, the choice of remarrying is a decision that solely must be made by you and your daughter. Relatives think for you but they do not know the consequences of such an important step.
Who is this person that you will be marrying?
Are you okay to take on another lady as your wife?
Will she be fine raising your daughter as her own?
What happens when the two of you decide to have a child of your own?
Is your daughter willing to see another person as a 'mother' figure?

If you choose not to remarry?
Being a girl, will you commit to caring for your daughter in more ways than a father?
How will you associate with her emotions as she goes through puberty and needs you to step in to do what her mother would have done for her at this time?
Do you see yourself going through life by yourself once your daughter leaves home to live her life?

These are just a few questions for you to get you started. You can add many more to both scenarios and play them out in your mind. The answer will emerge from within you.
But let me warn you, never ever remarry to temporarily erase your emptiness OR simply to yield to the demands of relatives to bring a new Mother for your daughter. This is a Disaster Zone and everyone will turn out unhappy.
Second shot at living or creating a life must be taken once you are aware that it will never be compared to your earlier life and that both the women are unique and will be respected by you and all as someone who brings forth new energy and wisdom.

Hope this helps. All the best to you!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |984 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 01, 2023

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Relationship
Hi I am 41 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology.Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks
Ans: Dear Mahendra,
It is unfortunate that you had to go over marriage twice to understand what could have been avoided.
Now, whether your wife from the first marriage also shares the same feelings of love and affection towards you cannot be assumed. She might have moved on in her mind and heart, so to build up a fairy tale life with her and your daughter may cause you pain.
Maybe instead of building stories, why not have a frank discussion with them (your daughter is old enough to be a part of this). Kindly keep an open mind as they may not be willing to reunite. If they are also willing to, then take things slow...Don't suggest them moving in with you and try and create the same environment like the way it used to be when you were married.
Time changes a lot of things and this must be handled with a lot of care and caution. Your ex-wife, will also be very watchful about all the things that have hurt her previously. So, be very patient with her.

But if the answer is a firm NO from them, kindly respect it and let it be...2009 is a long time ago and much would have changed in them and you; cherish what you have with them...focus on building a good relationship with your daughter. After all, you can't assume that one letter of apology will change their hearts.

Bring up the topic with your ex-wife, but be prepared for an answer either way.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |984 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Good Day Hi its been around 10 years of Marriage . I do have a Son who is 5 years old and is slightly facing Autism issues we have consulted a Specialist for the same who has generally suggested a few therapies to follow which we are currently following. My Wife is some what upset since her belief was that this issue is related genetic and one of my sibling already had such abnormalities in their kid so that's the reason our kid is facing this. and she really regrets this marriage. Whenever there is any arguments at home she always keeps on repeatedly saying that she regrets this marriage since this problem within the child has arisen because of some genetic imbalance within my family . Also since my kid was born she always preferred to sleep separately, rather there has been no physical intimation since last 6 months when came to know abt my kids problem. Is it really advisable that if she is not happy with me rather part away so that she could stay happy with somebody else since i personally feel i myself i am responsible to be the unlucky one and the root cause of all the problems. So would happy to get some suggestion from your end.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
So what does a parent do when one of their children has a challenge either physically or mentally?
Blame the other parent? Wash their hands off the responsibility?
Whatever it is, nothing justifies what your wife here is up to...what I can gather is that she feels a certain fear managing this situation.
Yes, your son may require more time and attention from both you and your wife in certain areas of life, but with this care and support, he will slowly get to a place where he can manage all by himself...
Now, if your wife has decided to play this blame game and isolate herself from you as a way of punishing you for genetics! Kindly take this to a mutual friend who can be unbiased and then teach the two of you to get back together for the sake of your son...

You must know that your guilt trip isn't helping you or your son...
Your wife must know that her blame game is driving her away from the marriage and her son...

Work towards a goal rather than against it!

All the best!

..Read more

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CAT, XAT, CMAT, CET Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 22, 2024Hindi
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I graduated with a B.Com (General) with 73.52%, and I obtained 54.71% in 10th grade and 51.17% in 12th grade. I belong to the General category and am eligible for an EWS certificate. My academic profile is summarized as 5|5|7. Since graduation, I have been a fresher with no practical work experience or internships, and I do not have any notable co-curricular or extra-curricular achievements. I took the CAT 2022 exam shortly after graduation for experience. Following that, I started preparing for CAT 2023, XAT 2024, and MHT CET 2024 but was unsuccessful due to a lack of consistency, discipline, and dedication. This year, I am preparing for CAT, NMAT, SNAP, XAT, MHT CET, and CMAT with the goal of getting into a top B-school in India. My preparation is going well this time. Although I realize I may not get into the top IIMs (BLACKIS), I am targeting and working hard for the new and baby IIMs, XLRI, FMS, SPJIMR, NMIMS, SIBM, and other reputable non-IIMs. Many people have advised me to pursue an MBA from local colleges or to try for government or banking jobs. While I respect their suggestions, I am determined to pursue an MBA from a top college in India. I cannot change my past academic record, but I am focused on improving my overall profile. I seek your valuable guidance on how to justify my gap years, improve my profile, and get advice for GDPI, securing a SIP, and placement. Currently, I am only able to get job of BPS in MNCs with only 11k p.m. for night shift. It may affect my schedule my preparation and work culture will be hectic and will only get 1.5 to 2hrs on weekdays for preparation. If I able to get a sales/Marketing related to my career interest then i can max 14k with more hectic work and more travel which may results inconsistency in preparation in weekdays. Even if I start working now, I can only add about 2 months of work experience before CAT and other MBA entrance test registrations, and less than 10 months of work experience before GDPI next year. I am committed to achieving a 99+ percentile this time. Alongside my preparation, I have acquired two beginner-level certifications in digital marketing and plan to add up to five more certifications in pre-MBA relevant skills. I am highly grateful for your feedback and suggestions.
Ans: It may be a little difficult to get into top colleges based on your academics - though it is possible if you do well in the written test and interview. It will help if you look at more colleges for admission. IF you are ready to wait then can take up a job and try to get experience along with preparation for CAT. By next year you would have 1 year experience which would give you some additional marks that could help you get a call.

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