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Anu Krishna  |966 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 36 years old widow. My husband passed away 1.5 yrs back. I have a 5 yr old daughter who is autistic. Financially independent, I don't feel like marrying again but my parents are trying hard to convince me to get married again. My apprehensions are what if the next husband doesn't accept my daughter whole heartedly as she is a special kid. But at the same time, I also sometimes feel that she shouldn't be devoid of fatherly love.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
Do exactly what feels right to you; someday if you feel different and choose to act on it, then think about it...if you are content in the current situation, what is the need to change it? Parents are just concerned for you and also as to how you are going to 'live all alone'...especially as they watch themselves grow old and know that they can't be around you forever. These realizations make them think the way that they do.
Talk to them and let them see that for now you are at peace with what is...your concerns about a new person accepting your daughter is something to think about but who knows...someday along the way, things may change, you may think different...
Till then, do exactly what feels right!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |966 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 43 years old . My wife passed away 3 years ago. I have a 13 years old child.My relatives are asking me to get re-married. I am in confused state. Should I remarry or not?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am so sorry for your loss; the passing on of a spouse almost feels like you live that grief everyday.
Your relatives are simply reacting to what they see as loneliness that you are living and that you can bring a Mother for a child.
Now, the choice of remarrying is a decision that solely must be made by you and your daughter. Relatives think for you but they do not know the consequences of such an important step.
Who is this person that you will be marrying?
Are you okay to take on another lady as your wife?
Will she be fine raising your daughter as her own?
What happens when the two of you decide to have a child of your own?
Is your daughter willing to see another person as a 'mother' figure?

If you choose not to remarry?
Being a girl, will you commit to caring for your daughter in more ways than a father?
How will you associate with her emotions as she goes through puberty and needs you to step in to do what her mother would have done for her at this time?
Do you see yourself going through life by yourself once your daughter leaves home to live her life?

These are just a few questions for you to get you started. You can add many more to both scenarios and play them out in your mind. The answer will emerge from within you.
But let me warn you, never ever remarry to temporarily erase your emptiness OR simply to yield to the demands of relatives to bring a new Mother for your daughter. This is a Disaster Zone and everyone will turn out unhappy.
Second shot at living or creating a life must be taken once you are aware that it will never be compared to your earlier life and that both the women are unique and will be respected by you and all as someone who brings forth new energy and wisdom.

Hope this helps. All the best to you!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |966 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 01, 2023

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Relationship
Hi I am 41 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology.Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks
Ans: Dear Mahendra,
It is unfortunate that you had to go over marriage twice to understand what could have been avoided.
Now, whether your wife from the first marriage also shares the same feelings of love and affection towards you cannot be assumed. She might have moved on in her mind and heart, so to build up a fairy tale life with her and your daughter may cause you pain.
Maybe instead of building stories, why not have a frank discussion with them (your daughter is old enough to be a part of this). Kindly keep an open mind as they may not be willing to reunite. If they are also willing to, then take things slow...Don't suggest them moving in with you and try and create the same environment like the way it used to be when you were married.
Time changes a lot of things and this must be handled with a lot of care and caution. Your ex-wife, will also be very watchful about all the things that have hurt her previously. So, be very patient with her.

But if the answer is a firm NO from them, kindly respect it and let it be...2009 is a long time ago and much would have changed in them and you; cherish what you have with them...focus on building a good relationship with your daughter. After all, you can't assume that one letter of apology will change their hearts.

Bring up the topic with your ex-wife, but be prepared for an answer either way.

Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |966 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Good Day Hi its been around 10 years of Marriage . I do have a Son who is 5 years old and is slightly facing Autism issues we have consulted a Specialist for the same who has generally suggested a few therapies to follow which we are currently following. My Wife is some what upset since her belief was that this issue is related genetic and one of my sibling already had such abnormalities in their kid so that's the reason our kid is facing this. and she really regrets this marriage. Whenever there is any arguments at home she always keeps on repeatedly saying that she regrets this marriage since this problem within the child has arisen because of some genetic imbalance within my family . Also since my kid was born she always preferred to sleep separately, rather there has been no physical intimation since last 6 months when came to know abt my kids problem. Is it really advisable that if she is not happy with me rather part away so that she could stay happy with somebody else since i personally feel i myself i am responsible to be the unlucky one and the root cause of all the problems. So would happy to get some suggestion from your end.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
So what does a parent do when one of their children has a challenge either physically or mentally?
Blame the other parent? Wash their hands off the responsibility?
Whatever it is, nothing justifies what your wife here is up to...what I can gather is that she feels a certain fear managing this situation.
Yes, your son may require more time and attention from both you and your wife in certain areas of life, but with this care and support, he will slowly get to a place where he can manage all by himself...
Now, if your wife has decided to play this blame game and isolate herself from you as a way of punishing you for genetics! Kindly take this to a mutual friend who can be unbiased and then teach the two of you to get back together for the sake of your son...

You must know that your guilt trip isn't helping you or your son...
Your wife must know that her blame game is driving her away from the marriage and her son...

Work towards a goal rather than against it!

All the best!

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |417 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

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Career
Dear sir Your answer was very helpful We are residing in Chennai and he is only son ...could you suggest few entrance exams for upper middle class Bits pilani how much it would cost He aims for computer science engineering
Ans: Priya Madam, I hope your son has joined Coaching Center for his JEE. As you prefer to have back-ups apart from JEE (NITs, IITS, GFTI & IIITs), here are some other suggested Entrance Exams along with JEE: (1) State Entrance Exams and / or Top-3 Private Colleges' Entrance Exams in your / nearby States (2) COMEDK (of Karnataka) is another better option as it is open to Students all over India. (3) IAT Exam for admission into IISER / IISc / IIT, if your son is interested in Research (4) PESSAT (of PES University) in Bengaluru (4) CUET for Central Universities all over India. (5) BITS. Please note, if you / your son prefer BITS-Computer Science, he should score minimum 330 / 360 for Pilani Campus, 295 / 360 for Goa Campus. 290/360 for Goa Campus. (6) It is advisable for him to appear in, minimum 5-Entrance Exams (instead of relying only on BITS). This will enable your son to have a lot of options to choose the best & most suitable College along with the Stream she prefers. Give importance to Location of the College Also. And, please AVOID forcing him to join the College / Stream which you prefer. His utmost importance to his interests. All The BEST for Son's Daughter's Bright Future, Madam. To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Strategies to Attempt Exams | Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad) | SOP Writing Tips’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

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EduJob360 |
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Nayagam P P  |417 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

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Hello sir My son is in 12th class this year and preparing for JEE exam. Kindly suggest in addition to JEE any other entrance exam for engineering
Ans: Virendra Sir. I hope your son has joined Coaching Center for his JEE. As you prefer to have back-ups apart from JEE (NITs, IITS, GFTI & IIITs), here are some other suggested Entrance Exams along with JEE: (1) State Entrance Exams and / or Top-3 Private Colleges' Entrance Exams in your / nearby States (2) If you prefer to apply in South also, COMEDK (of Karnataka) is another better option as it is open to Students all over India. (3) IAT Exam for admission into IISER if your daughter is interested in Research (4) PESSAT (of PES University) in Bengaluru (4) CUET for Central Universities all over India. It is advisable for her to appear in, minimum 5-Entrance Exams. This will enable your daughter to have a lot of options to choose the best & most suitable College along with the Stream she prefers. Give importance to Location of the College Also. And, please AVOID forcing her to join the College / Stream which you prefer. All The BEST for your Daughter's Bright Future, Sir. To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Strategies to Attempt Exams | Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad) | SOP Writing Tips’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |3763 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

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Money
Is it safe to invest in gold through Gullak app
Ans: While Gullak offers a seemingly convenient way to invest in gold, there are some potential risks to consider:

Unregulated "Gold+" Program: The "Gold+" program's guaranteed 5% extra gold is a unique feature, but it's not entirely clear how Gullak achieves this. Since this program is unregulated, there's less oversight compared to SEBI-regulated mutual funds.
Counterparty Risk: Gullak mentions a 100% bank guarantee on your gold investment. However, the details of this guarantee and the specific bank involved are crucial. In case of any issue with the bank, there's a chance your investment might be impacted.
Limited Transparency: Compared to mutual funds, Gullak might not be as transparent about their fees and overall investment structure. This can make it difficult to fully understand the associated costs and risks.
Potential Hidden Costs: While Gullak might advertise low fees, there could be hidden costs associated with storage, insurance, or selling your gold holdings. Make sure you understand all the fees involved before investing.

Mutual Fund Gold:

Safety: Mutual funds are regulated by SEBI (Securities and Exchange Board of India) which adds a layer of security. Your investment represents units in the fund, not physical gold, but the underlying gold is typically stored in secure vaults.
Returns: Gold Mutual Funds invest in physical gold, reflecting the market price. You won't get a guaranteed bonus like with Gullak Gold+, but your returns are tied directly to the gold price's performance.
Liquidity: Gold Mutual Funds are generally quite liquid, allowing you to redeem your units on exchange platforms.
Here's why Mutual Fund Gold might be a better choice:

Transparency: Mutual Funds are more transparent in their holdings and fees compared to Gullak's "Gold+" program.
Flexibility: Mutual Funds offer various gold investment options with different expense ratios. You can choose a fund that suits your investment horizon and risk tolerance.
Market Exposure: Mutual Funds can offer exposure to gold along with diversification within the gold sector (e.g., international gold).

Why Consulting a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) is Wise:
A CFP is a financial professional who can provide personalized advice based on your specific financial situation and goals. Here's why consulting a CFP can be beneficial:

Risk Assessment: A CFP can help you assess your risk tolerance and determine if Gullak or Mutual Fund Gold is a suitable investment for you.
Portfolio Diversification: A CFP can advise you on how to incorporate gold into a diversified portfolio to manage risk and meet your long-term goals.
Understanding Gullak's "Gold+" Program: A CFP can help you analyze the details and potential risks associated with Gullak's "Gold+" program.
Comparison with Mutual Funds: A CFP can compare Gullak with various gold mutual fund options, considering factors like fees, expense ratios, and historical performance.
Remember: Financial planning is personal. Consulting a CFP can empower you to make informed investment decisions aligned with your unique circumstances.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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