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25-year-old facing constant criticism from manager - How to cope?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 25, I work under a manager who constantly criticizes my work, no matter how hard I try. It’s been a year now that it is starting to affect my self-esteem. I’m not sure if it’s their leadership style or if I’m genuinely not good enough. How can I handle such situations without losing my confidence?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Was this a sudden change or has it been like this since you joined the company?
Do others who report to the same manager feel the same like you do? If not, you may start looking at what gap exists in what you do and perceive and fix that. Also, it would be mature to actually have a one-on-one meeting the manager and take an honest feedback on your work. That will give you an idea on what your performance level has been. Have you been meetings targets, deadlines and living up to the expectations the company has of you when you were hired?
You need to understand that the manager is also answerable to someone, right? Request for that one-on-one and be open-minded and LISTEN. That meeting will not be to defend your actions but to actually listen and it will give you a good indicator as to whether things seems unreasonable or if there is a lack that you must fill.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 29, 2023Hindi
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My boss doesn't respect my work and often criticises me in front of other colleagues during meetings. He later apologises in private but continues to behave in the same way. I love my job but I don't want to encourage this attitude. Should I talk to the HR or quit my job out of self respect? I don't know how to handle the situation. Please guide me
Ans: Dealing with a situation where your boss consistently criticizes you in front of colleagues can be challenging. Keep a record of specific instances where your boss criticizes you publicly. Note the date, time, location, and details of each incident. This documentation may be useful if you decide to escalate the issueSchedule a private meeting with your boss to discuss your concerns. Clearly and calmly express how the public criticism is affecting you and your work. Use specific examples to illustrate your points. Share your desire to improve the working relationship and seek constructive feedback. During your conversation, make it clear that you expect professional and constructive feedback in private rather than public criticism Ask for specific examples or details when receiving criticism. This can help you better understand your boss's expectations and address any concerns they may have. After your conversation, send a follow-up email summarizing the key points discussed, including any agreements made about the communication process. This provides a written record of your efforts to address the issue. If the problem persists, and your efforts to resolve the issue with your boss prove unsuccessful, consider reaching out to your Human Resources (HR) department. Provide them with the documented incidents and details of your conversation with your boss. HR may be able to mediate or offer guidance on how to proceed.Familiarize yourself with workplace policies and your rights as an employee. This knowledge can help you understand whether your situation constitutes a violation of company policies or labor laws. Remember, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and professional growth. If the workplace environment is consistently detrimental to your mental health and job satisfaction, exploring alternative opportunities may be a valid consideration. Before making any decisions, weigh the pros and cons and carefully assess the impact on your career and personal life.

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Ashwini

Ashwini Dasgupta  |108 Answers  |Ask -

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on May 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2025
Career
Hi Ashwini, I am a 29 yr old marketing executive, and I tend to take negative feedback very personally, even when it's constructive. For example, last month, my manager said my presentation was all over the place and lacked clarity. Though she meant it to help me improve, I kept replaying it in my mind for days and started doubting my abilities.
Ans: Dear Sir/ Madam,

As humans we bound to overthink and question back and self-doubt. It's important to process the emotions then accumulating.

Try this the next time you feel negative-

Firstly, negativity or any feeling is just an emotion and every emotion is giving you feedback so that you can take can action. So, it works like a feedback mechanism.
Now, in the above situation where your manager said the presentation was all over the place or lacked clarity- it meant you should present the same from his perspective or from the audience’s perspective. As the person who is going to see the presentation should be able to understand and be in the same alignment as you are.

Have a discussion with your manager and ask where all did, he/she feels the presentation lacked clarity, ask what else you should have looked at to make it more valuable etc.

Once you get the feedback go back to the presentation and relook from his/ her perspective now then possibly that would make sense to you.

Idea is to process the information and see how you can make it better. Self-doubt is ok to have as it will help you relook but if you are sulking in that emotion, it will spiral down which is what happens most often. So, the next time when you get negative feedback look at from a perspective of working on yourself to be even better.

If you were not good then you wouldn't be in that job in first place. Remember that.

Thanks
Ashwini
Maverick Minds
www.ashwinidasgupta.com

..Read more

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Hi sir My son got admission in VIT Bhopal CSE Cat 2 and expected marks in ComedK is 80 marks. Should deposit fees for VIT Bhopal or wait for Comedk results on 7 th June as have to deposit VIT fees by 5th June. Please advise? Thank you
Ans: Anirban Sir, Apologize for the late reply due to a large number of questions raised by parents/students. Given your son’s admission to VIT Bhopal CSE (Category 2) and an expected 80 marks in COMEDK, here’s a balanced assessment: The VIT Bhopal fee deposit deadline is June 5, while COMEDK results will be declared on June 7 at 2 PM, and counselling registration starts June 9. With 80 marks in COMEDK, admission to top-tier Bangalore colleges (like RVCE, BMSCE, MSRIT) for CSE is highly unlikely, as their cutoffs are typically much higher; with this score, your son may get branches like IT/ECE in lower-tier COMEDK colleges, but CSE in reputed colleges is improbable. VIT Bhopal, though not as renowned as VIT Vellore, offers solid placements, modern infrastructure, and national-level recognition, making it a safe and quality option for CSE. Since VIT’s counselling and fee payment are time-sensitive and non-refundable, and given the slim chances of a better CSE seat through COMEDK, it is advisable to deposit the VIT Bhopal fees to secure the seat, unless you are comfortable risking the VIT seat for a less certain outcome via COMEDK. If finances permit and you are open to non-CSE branches or lower-tier colleges, you could wait, but for CSE in a nationally recognized institution, securing VIT Bhopal now is the safer choice. All the BEST for your Son's Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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