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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |536 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 20, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 14, 2025
Relationship

Hi, I am 24F i am in a relationship with 27M he is pursuing MBA far from our home city so basically it was long distance but he never fails to surprise visits many times we are dating for 2 yrs now and 3-4 months ago he asked me to have sex because in his college everybody is doing it and he wants to do it too and said they are casually dating and having sex but why can not after being in a serious relation but i want to have sex only after marrying him. Shall i break up with him because i do not want him to sacrifice his desires nor mine as my values does not allow me to have sex before marriage?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Did you tell him how you feel? Did he show any form of disappointment for it? I suggest you speak to him openly first. And intimacy is a sensitive topic- you should not have to sacrifice your values for him. There is nothing wrong with waiting, nor is there anything wrong with what he wants. It merely differs from person to person. I hope you know that. But since your desire requires waiting, I strongly suggest you speak to him honestly first and then decide.
Best Wishes.

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Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Madam, I am 36 yrs old girl, working in central govt, I lost my parents long back, all my siblings are elder & busy in their family, brothers doesnt even talk to me, so there is no one who is seriously finding boy for my marriage, I tried through matrimonial apps, it didnt work. Based on my colleague advise, I tried through dating apps but nobody is genuine there, most of them are looking for hook up. Finally I found one guy who is 3 years elder than me but come to know within 3months that he too married but we are in touch through calls & msgs from past 6 years, since I stay alone at quarters, he met me more than 30 times at my place, even spent nights with me but never forced me for anything that I dont like. I love him a lot but he is married so I dont want have physical relationship with him but I too have biological urges but I am scared of getting pregnant or even loosing virginity which might affect my marriage, at the same time I dont have any hopes left on my marriage. This guy has lots of patience , we meet, drink together , do all things except intercourse , could you pls advise me whether I should have sex with him? also I stopped using dating apps as I love this guy.
Ans: I read your question a few times...I will respond it in 3 parts
Part 1:
Current relationship with someone who is not available - You are 36 and are smart to take life decisions. You can do as you wish but incase you get intimate - keep it to that only. Do not let your emotions come to play and get used to him - treat this relationship as a casual relationship which it is already. As for getting pregnant - take precautions, but more than pregnancy you should be worried about STD's hope this man is clean. As for you stopping your search because of this man - Remember - He is NOT AVAILABLE - so rethink why are you being available for someone who is not available to you. You and only you are responsible for your current situation. You have the mind to decide if you wish to continue to know or him or stop this relationship.

Part 2:
Finding someone compatible/ likeminded can become easy if you are (a) not in a hurry (b) know your dealbreakers and negotiables (c) feel confident and good about yourself...if you have these things in place then you would need patience and with that you will find your person - online or offline.

Part 3:
Its unfortunate you lost your parents - a virtual hug coming your way. While parents and sibling do help in introducing their people to others its wrong to Expect them to help - its your relationship and its ok to find your person, in fact its awesome to do so.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |536 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 14, 2024

Relationship
Hello, I m 21 female I m in a long distance relationship with 32 year male.this person was behind me and always asked me to give him a chance to prove his love for me. At that period i was afaird of relationships as I didn't have courage to go against wish of my parents as i know they wolud never agree for love marriage,so that is fir sure i'll do arrange Marriage. All these things have been explained by my side to this person.He gad feelings for me thats what he showed to me even I felt a connection towards him, so we decided let's not commit anything anout marraige as we both wee not sure about these thing. After some time i realised these person has already made his mind ki he'll date me and he wanted to have everything that an relationship has but he will not marry me.But i m completely in love with.Even i told him about it ki I can't share him n won't be able to see him.with someone else.i just can't imagine myself without him. I fought with him even begged and cried but he always defend his self sayi g i told already ki he loves me and will keep loving me but will not marry me . He vists me after 6-9 months interval every time he visuts me he needs to have physical relationship. I don't know whether I m right or wrong but i feel like I m being used by him. I tried several time to end this relationship but i end up chasing him.Plz help me,guide me
Ans: Dear Rutuja,
If you have the slightest feeling that he doesn't share the same feelings for you as you do for him, or that he has wrong intentions, you have every right to end the relationship. In fact, that would be the right thing to do. I understand that it is difficult to break up with someone you love, but does he love you? Don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and does not make you feel as if you are being used?

Have a clear conversation with him- address all your concerns. If he still maintains his stand of not getting married to you, then let him know that you are not on the same page as him. Remember, for a relationship to work, your future goals need to align.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |536 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship
hi sir/maam I am 22 yrs old and my boyfriend is 28 yrs old. We both are in the same office right now and his home is very near from that. At this point, we've been in a relationship for 8 months. He is very emotional and understanding and always there for me. Nobody knows about us, only my friends do. I am not that serious but confused if i lose someone who had loved me this much. He asks about marriage but it would be intercaste so i say that parents would not approve this. My friends advice me to break up. I try to disconnect with him but as soon as I talk to him I fail to do. I feel like talking to him console him. The thing is I'll talk to my parents 2 yrs later but he asking for commitment as he is getting other marriage proposals and its the right time for him to get settle but for me, he's saying he's ready to wait only if i give commitment. My father has said once that study and become independent but never risk my self respect in this society. Should i risk my boyfriend's life by giving the commitment ? I'm confused because i think at this point im kind of girl that will adjust somehow atleast im getting a person who loves me alot, i also love him but he's more into this feeling. What should i do? Recently he's got a marriage proposal and his family is seriously asking for his answer but he was asking what i want? i asked him to consider that and directly said it will not be possible for me to commit but im still in dilemma- im losing sth imp, should i go for him?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. All I can say is that neither one of you is wrong here. He wants commitment before he decides to wait for you, and you want some more time. Both your requirements make perfect sense. My suggestion is that if you really think that you can't commit, you should clear that to him right away, and let him decide whether or not he is okay to go on like that. It's not fair to keep him hanging nor will it be right to make a decision for him. Give him clarity of the situation and let him decide.

In case you guys decide to break up, let him move on. I understand the urge to comfort him, but doing so, you are only going to stall his moving on process.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

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