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22-year-old Woman with 28-year-old Boyfriend Faces Relationship Crossroads

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

hi sir/maam I am 22 yrs old and my boyfriend is 28 yrs old. We both are in the same office right now and his home is very near from that. At this point, we've been in a relationship for 8 months. He is very emotional and understanding and always there for me. Nobody knows about us, only my friends do. I am not that serious but confused if i lose someone who had loved me this much. He asks about marriage but it would be intercaste so i say that parents would not approve this. My friends advice me to break up. I try to disconnect with him but as soon as I talk to him I fail to do. I feel like talking to him console him. The thing is I'll talk to my parents 2 yrs later but he asking for commitment as he is getting other marriage proposals and its the right time for him to get settle but for me, he's saying he's ready to wait only if i give commitment. My father has said once that study and become independent but never risk my self respect in this society. Should i risk my boyfriend's life by giving the commitment ? I'm confused because i think at this point im kind of girl that will adjust somehow atleast im getting a person who loves me alot, i also love him but he's more into this feeling. What should i do? Recently he's got a marriage proposal and his family is seriously asking for his answer but he was asking what i want? i asked him to consider that and directly said it will not be possible for me to commit but im still in dilemma- im losing sth imp, should i go for him?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. All I can say is that neither one of you is wrong here. He wants commitment before he decides to wait for you, and you want some more time. Both your requirements make perfect sense. My suggestion is that if you really think that you can't commit, you should clear that to him right away, and let him decide whether or not he is okay to go on like that. It's not fair to keep him hanging nor will it be right to make a decision for him. Give him clarity of the situation and let him decide.

In case you guys decide to break up, let him move on. I understand the urge to comfort him, but doing so, you are only going to stall his moving on process.

Hope this helps.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi there, I have many things going in my life right now and I’m confused what to do, first thing I’m in a relationship with a man who’s 7 years older than me and is also not earning much, we are from different religions. Now as I’m 25 my parents are asking me to get married but some how I’m avoiding it, I’m currently living with them and I’m constant with growth in my career so they also want me to look for better opportunities. The thing is my boyfriend is also in the same city and I’m sad about going far away. He’s very supportive and motivates me to look further opportunities. But again my parents want an answer from me about marriage. And I discussed with my boyfriend as well and he understands that too but he doesn’t want to marry me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When he does not want to marry you, then what makes you waste so much time on him?
Move on with your life; it's not about getting married like the way your parents intend BUT more a signal to yourself to stop in your tracks and focus on what's important to you; your life...

He can be a good friend still supporting you (If the two of you can find that maturity) and you will both be able to walk on your own paths which isn't happening now. When he is clear that he is not going to commit to it, it should be enough data for you to look into yourself and know that you are trying hard to make something happen that does not want to happen. Making sense here?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |581 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, i am in a relationship with a guy since last 14 years but due to some ups-downs in his life he denied to marry me two years ago so i remain single in that period and searching for suitable guy in a arrange marriage setup. Now, in this year he came back and said he want to marry me, since i did not able to find any match till then so i said yes, i tried to convince my parents for him but they did not got convinced and started forcing me for arrange marriage for the sake of community and their pride, i dont know what should i do, because whatever they are bringing are good matches and i would have consider or marry them if i am not committed to him.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you have really decided that you will only marry him, then you should continue trying to convince your parents. Both of you are consenting adults and I am sure you both love each other since you have been together for so many years. Highlight these and any other positive points in your partner to your parents; let them know he is a nice person and he has been committed to you for so long.

I am not sure whether you two broke up for a while or just weren't sure about marriage, but either way, it looks like there was a break in the relationship. So this time around, if you want to rethink the relationship, there is no harm. And if you are not sure what you want, you should take some time to think about it. Don't rush.

Moreover, consider your parent's point of view. Why are they not convinced? Are they seeing something in your partner that you are overlooking because of love? You can ask them for the reason directly and evaluate how reasonable they are.
Hope these suggestions help

Best Wishes.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1601 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on May 06, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, as my son Inter bord got 91% but in Jee mains 1st attempt got 50% and 2nd attempt got 70%, but he was not eligible for Advance, and he was wrote other college exams as (IIIT Hyd + VIT+TSEAPCET) in that VIT got results as 1.20 Lakh rank and he was eligible for Round of Category of 5th for VIT-AP & VIT-Bhopal, and expecting results for IIIT Hyd and also waiting for other Exams as (COMEDK + MIT + BITS), he was sincerely trying the efforts private college entrance exams, but the results which is not satisfy for him, and getting disappoint, but I was giving the motivation for other exams and do the hard work and focus on, BITS & IIT-Hyd also very tuff and more competitive, as i need to think for the negative side, if he could not get any cut of marks, what is the next option....? I request you pls give any other alternate suggestions for which is alternate engineering university for the course of (CSE AI & ML), my son interested in CSE course only
Ans: Hello Rakesh
First and foremost, I would like to commend your son for his earnest efforts in preparing for a range of engineering entrance examinations. His dedication is commendable, even if the outcomes so far haven't aligned with expectations. As you’ve mentioned, he has not yet been able to meet the required cutoff, which understandably may lead to feelings of disappointment or frustration.
However, the journey isn't over. Significant opportunities still lie ahead with BITSAT and IIIT-Hyderabad, both of which are known to be less about difficulty and more about testing strategic thinking and conceptual clarity. It appears that your son may be facing challenges in effectively managing the vast syllabus or might not yet have identified the right approach to tackle these competitive exams. Understanding how to study smartly for such tests often makes all the difference.
It’s important to maintain a positive outlook and avoid negative assumptions at this stage. You haven’t mentioned your financial circumstances, but if your son is determined to pursue fields like Computer Science, Artificial Intelligence, or Machine Learning, and if merit-based options don’t materialize, admission through the management quota could be a viable alternative. This route is typically available in reputed private engineering colleges, though it comes with a higher financial commitment.
Before considering this option seriously, I would recommend waiting for the results of all the remaining entrance exams. At the same time, it would be wise to proactively visit a few reputed institutions to inquire about the availability of management quota seats, associated costs, and relevant terms and conditions. Many parents secure such seats early on, anticipating the challenges their child might face in clearing competitive cutoffs.
Stay optimistic, there are still several promising pathways ahead.
Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
Radheshyam

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |372 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2025
Career
can i get admission in NFSU through jee mains score only ? because i gone on NFSU admission portal link for B.Tech-M.Tech Integrated program in Computer Science and Engineering (Cyber Security) but they asking about NFAT exam
Ans: Hi,
I apologize for any confusion, but I want to clarify that when the government asked for our support of the ONE NATION ONE CARD system, we did not accept it. Similarly, everyone is required to open a savings account at a bank, and many of us expressed our discontent. However, we can see the positive changes happening in India. If we support the government, they will reciprocate by providing benefits to the citizens.

In terms of education, the government is attempting to implement a new education policy, which has proven to be quite difficult. The education system has changed significantly before and after the pandemic. Now, the government is working on new policies that align with those of developed countries.

Therefore, we cannot expect the ONE STUDENT ONE EXAM system from the government at this time, as it is not included in the current guidelines. Each council or organization has its own set of guidelines, and synchronizing them will take time. At this moment, it is simply not feasible.

The NFAT exam is different from the JEE. In the case of the JEE, they did not notify the aspirants that they are eligible to apply for NFSU, and similarly, NFSU did not mention that JEE rank holders could also apply. Therefore, if you want admission to NFSU, you need to register and appear for the NFTA.

In the near future, we can expect the ONE STUDENT ONE EXAM system from this BJP government for the benefit of younger generations. For the benefit of postgraduate aspirants (for all courses except a few professional ones), the NTA is organizing the PGCUET exam nationwide. In this exam, you can opt for up to four different courses based on your eligibility.

A similar exam pattern is needed for engineering and medical fields as well. As I mentioned, we can expect this change; however, we, as citizens, should offer moral support for the benefit of younger generations. Unfortunately, we often do not provide this support to the government. For example, in the NEET exam, many aspirants do not follow the guidelines even when appearing for the exams.
BEST WISHES

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |372 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 06, 2025

Career
Hello sir I have taken a 1 year drop for neet 2025 from pw online . But now I am scoring only 300 in neet .Now i am very confused what to do should I take one more drop or chose any option. This time i want to join offline coaching and really want to work hard but afraid that the coaching centre after knowing my marks will give me their worst batch so what should i do ?
Ans: Hi Ritika,
You mentioned that you scored only 300 in NEET. While we can't make any judgments until the official results are published, I must say that a score of 300 is quite low.

If you're planning to reappear for NEET, that's a good decision! However, I understand you might be worried about the coaching classes placing you in a less suitable batch. I recommend attending for 2 or 3 days while attending the coaching just follow the below instructions.

Make a list of the subjects and chapters you find challenging. Discuss these areas with your coaching faculty and aim to ask at least 15-20 questions daily to clarify your doubts and enhance your understanding. Additionally, request tips and tricks for each chapter so that you can put in a lot of effort to reach your goal.

Alternatively, you can prepare 10 questions on your own and seek answers from your coaching faculty. If you maintain this practice throughout the course, you'll build your confidence, and the coaching staff may consider changing your group due to your proactive approach in asking questions.

Through NEET, you can also pursue other medical-related courses such as BAMS, BSMS, BHMS, BYMS, BNYS, and BDS.

If you don’t have confidence in yourself, you might consider dropping NEET and exploring other courses. However, I encourage you to take one chance and follow my suggestions.

Additionally, if you are not already practicing yoga and meditation, I recommend starting. These activities can help you concentrate better and reduce distractions while studying.

Best of luck!
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |372 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 06, 2025

Career
Hlo I have taken a 1 year drop in 2024 for neet but i am scoring only 300 . Now I am so confused what to do I really want to crack neet and this time i want to join offline coaching but afraid that i can do it or not Please tell me what to do
Ans: Hi Ritika,
Good decision! Offline coaching is far better than online coaching because it allows you to focus on your studies more effectively.

You mentioned that you need to crack the exam, so here are some tips on how to do that:

First, identify which subjects and chapters you find challenging and make a list. Discuss these areas with your coaching faculty. Aim to ask at least 10 questions daily to clarify your doubts and enhance your understanding.

Alternatively, you can prepare 10 questions on your own and seek answers from your coaching faculty. If you maintain this practice throughout the course, you will build your confidence.

Additionally, if you are not practicing yoga and meditation, I recommend starting. These activities can help you concentrate better and reduce distractions while studying.

Best of luck!

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

...Read more

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