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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 20, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Mahesha Question by Mahesha on May 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My son is 18 years old and he is a habitual cheater and he has following symptoms, Emotional Detachment Pattern of Deception Low Empathy what is the best treatment for him to get out of this character

Ans: Dear Mahesha,
I am surprised as how you diagnosed all of these OR you are a mental health professional yourself.
If you really feel that he has the 'symptoms' that you have mentioned, why would you not think of actually taking him to a professional who can actually guide you and him through this all.
A humble suggestion: Refrain from self-diagnosis...this can become labels on the person and make matters worse. Always rely on an expert to come to conclusions.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 07, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, my teenage son has been acting weird since the last few months. He has been caught lying and smoking after school hours. He has bunked school and been spotted by a friend but when I casually checked on him he lied that he is at school. I don't know how to address this. I feel like I don't know my son anymore
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Teenage time is the most confusing time for children and parents alike. And with the digital age, it's only getting tougher. Dealing with butter fingers, yet being firm with them, works at times and doesn't at other times.
If this behaviour change of his is sudden, something could have triggered it.
Check points:
- What is the company of friends that he keeps?
- How is the environment at home? Peaceful and loving OR Restless and agitated?
- What is the relationship that he shares with either of his parents?
- Is the channel of communication at home such that he can share anything?
- Is there any pressure on academic performance from home or school?
- Has there been any instance around him or with him that has been emotionally draining? Like a loss of a loved one or a friend?

Do go over this list and be spot on while answering them. It will allow you to get to the source of the problem rather than just focus on his behaviour. Instead of reprimanding him for his behaviour, watch for it closely while you get to the source of it all.
If it's challenging to go through this all by yourself, please without any delay seek the help of a professional who specifically works with adolescents and adolescent behaviour. Be compassionate through the process as he needs both his parents while transitioning back. It is worrisome, I fathom it, but he needs you on his side and not against him.
So, do the right thing and act immediately.
All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |952 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
sir , i am 46 yrs with 16yrs of marriage and leading a normal life. I have 2 sons . My elder son is 15yrs (DOB 19/3/08). He is preparing for JEE mains and due to this he attends some additional digital classes apart from college.My problem is recently my son was caught watching porn videos . And when we doubt or tell him to avoid by telling the pros and cons of it ,he gets aggressive. At the ending of his 10th std, he was caught for the first time, but he said it just opened (porn link) by mistake.He was one of the topper in his school for 10th.He is good at academics. He does not have a personal mobile. Now in 11th std,only for online classes he has access to net. But this time i think he has got addicted.How to handle this addiction? And since last 1/2 month he is eating less, sleeping well. I know this is a natural feeling at this age , but he is watching perverted porn sites involving porn games.Please advise.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As much as this seems normal for his age, a bit of experimentation can also lead to addiction. When this has begun to affect focus and concentration, it requires a bit of Intervention.
Kindly approach an Adolescent Counsellor/Psychologist in your city who can assess the situation and do something beyond talk and advising.
What will work is a combination of talk and certain exercises that will cause a break in this habit and instil a better form of channeling outwards and inward.
So, do not hesitate to take that help and guidance. You will thank yourself for it.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |237 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dr. Madam My son,30 yr old, is MBA and serving MNC earning 25000 pm . He shows a very awkward behaviour , rude to family members, very adamant, careless, no charm for marriage and above all shows no responsibility. He takes everything as burden, curses peoples. Always remains fearful of his looks as his beard n hairs getting gray. We consult many psychiatrist but no result. Your suggestions please.
Ans: Your son's behavior, being rude, adamant, and showing little responsibility, coupled with his fear about his appearance, suggests he might be dealing with significant underlying issues such as depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition. The fact that psychiatric consultations haven't yielded results yet indicates that his situation might be complex and in need of a more nuanced approach.

It's essential to consider that sometimes, the right combination of therapeutic methods and practitioners takes time to find. A comprehensive evaluation by a multidisciplinary team could provide fresh insights. This team might include not only psychiatrists but also psychologists and possibly other specialists who can look at his situation from various angles.

Building a strong therapeutic alliance is crucial. The effectiveness of treatment often hinges on the quality of the relationship between the patient and the therapist. Encouraging your son to continue seeking a therapist he feels comfortable with might make a significant difference. It's not uncommon for people to try several therapists before finding the right fit.

Incorporating holistic approaches can also be beneficial. Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga can help with emotional regulation and stress management. Physical activities and maintaining a healthy diet can have positive effects on mental health. These approaches, combined with professional therapy, might help your son find more balance and relief.

Support groups can be incredibly valuable as well. They provide a space where individuals can share their experiences and feel understood. Encouraging your son to connect with others who face similar challenges can offer emotional support and practical advice, which might help him feel less isolated in his struggles.

It's clear that you care deeply for your son and want the best for him. Navigating this journey requires patience, persistence, and compassion—for both him and yourself. It's important to take care of your well-being too, as supporting a loved one with mental health challenges can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Seeking support for yourself, whether through therapy, support groups, or other resources, can equip you with the strength and resilience needed to continue being there for your son.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |349 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2024Hindi
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Career
Dear sir my son is srm ap in btech CSE 3 Rd year how to get placement
Ans: Some important steps to get placed in Campus Recruitment: (1) To keep his PROFESSIONAL Resume Ready now itself, covering all his achievements including Certifications (hope he would have done some both offline and online from NPTEL, Internshala, LinkedIn, Coursera etc. (2) He should still continue do online Certificate short-term courses, relevant to his domain (3) Should have a Professional LinkedIn Profile. If already has, fine-tune by updating it (4) Should get connected to Professionals in same domain. (Not to ask for jobs). If the Recruiters / Employers expectation meets your son's profile, they will be in touch with him (5) To put job alerts, related to his domain / certifications / skills to know the current market scenario / employers' expectations (6) To know the selection process and to start preparing for Campus Recruitment (Aptitude Test, Interview, & GD) (7) To make a thorough RESEARCH about the Companies visited the College last year and go through their websites to know about the Company Profile, Products / Services Provided, HR Policy etc. (8) To also start applying through LinkedIn by the end of his final year, if companies' JD matches with your son's profile. Hope this information is enough for your Son. All The BEST for your Son’s Bright Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs | Resume Writing | Profile Building | Salary Negotiation Skills | Building Professional LinkedIn Profile | Choosing Right School Board (State | Matriculation | CBSE | ICSE |International Board) | Student Psychological Counselling | Exam Preparation Techniques (Board | Entrance & Competitive)| Job Interview Skills | Skill Upgrading | Parenting & Child Upbringing Skills | Career Transition | Abroad Education | Education Loan (India | Abroad) | Scholarship (India | Abroad) | SOP Writing Tips’, please FOLLOW me in RediffGURU here.

Nayagam PP |
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |224 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am a 35-year-old woman and my husband is 45. we are made for each other couple. we love each other and we do not have any compatibility issues except in romance. he is not very romantic and even throughout my younger years I was also not very romantic and immersed myself in studies and career. He is not very active in sex also. A few years back I told him that I wanted to be romantic after marriage and now we are not, so I missed my college and early office days when I was in my prime and could have been romantically involved with guys. Since I look very young even at 35, he suggested that I still can move around with guys and get romantic and I need not miss anything even now. though initially declining the offer, I moved a little freely toward men, mostly colleagues, and a few social club members. I encouraged late-night messages, coffee meets, movies, etc. I update my husband on every single event that happens. ex, if I went to a movie with a colleague, I will message my hubby " We kissed", if that happened. he encourages me so much and is happy with whatever is happening, cutting a long story short. though I didn't think it would go so far, I am now romantically very active. soft romance-like messages I do with many. Dating I don't say no to my known circle like colleagues, ex-colleagues, college mates, etc and almost 2-3 times a week I end up dating someone in a coffee shop, pub, or a long drive. A few times I initiate a date too. and I must confess that I have regular intimacy with four young men, all from the same office where I work. I have never hidden anything from my hubby and give a complete account every day. I offered to stop everything any moment he said. but he told me till age is there enjoy life!. I am emotionally connected to my husband only and I do all my responsibilities as a woman. Our relationship has grown manifold. My only question is, am I exploiting my husband's innocence or does he have a cuckold fantasy? If I continue the way I continue with no harm to anyone, can I keep doing it ( I love to). or I should stop at once?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

After reading your question I understood that your partner and you have, what we call, an open relationship. As long as both partners are okay with the dynamics of it, and no one is emotionally hurt, or resisting, it should be okay. It isn't exploitation if your husband himself encourages you. You are both consenting adults and not harming each other or anyone else. As for your question, if he has a cuckold fantasy, that is something you should discuss with your husband. An open discussion is better than speculation. Also, at any time if you suspect that your husband is growing concerned about the nature of your relationship, ask him directly. It can help avoid misunderstandings.


Best Wishes

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |224 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Hello sir mai 28 year ki hoo mai abhi llb kar rahi hoo mai last 7 year se relationship mai hoo vo mujse 25 year bade hai saruaat 1 to 2 year inhone muje bhot priorities di ab hum 3 to 4 month mai kabhi milte hai hum dono alag alag city mai hai unki bhot badi family hai or finincially bhi problem chal rahi hai last 3 yaer se vo.muje priority nai de rahe hum.roj bat karte hai vo mera khyal bhi rakhte hai lekin muje unse ab dur nai hona mene sadi na karne ka decisions Liya hai lekin kitni bar bhot akela feel karti hoo vo muje itna time nai dete phele jaisa nai hai aisa lagta hai.fir vo ku6 help kar de ya pyar se bat bhi kar le.to.lagta hai sab theek hai mai.bhot confused hoo mai.kya karu muje kya karna chahiye ..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Dating someone older than you is not the problem, but the fact that you are making major life decisions based on what he wants and doesn't want is concerning. I am guessing that you decided to not get married because he doesn't want it either. Is that fair to you? You yourself mentioned that you often feel lonely. Don't you think you deserve better? Don't you deserve someone who would love you and would like to spend the rest of their life with you? Please reconsider this relationship. Speak to your partner and ask him what his plans are for the future. Does he want to settle down with you? How will you two continue this relationship in the future? There are many important questions that need answering. Sort them out and you will have the solution to your dilemma.


Best Wishes.

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Ravi Mittal  |224 Answers  |Ask -

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