Shy College Student: How to Be More Outgoing and Assertive?

Ans: If you are an introvert and wish to stay so, that is fine... every workplace has different personalities and that shouldn't be a reason for others to misunderstand you.

But if you do want to work on that aspect, you can do small exercises to help you work towards extroversion. You can consciously take initiative to speak up with colleagues over lunch or coffee breaks and build rapport with them. Think up a couple of topics in your mind beforehand so that you feel more prepared.


It does take a while to get out of your comfort zone but take small steps and you should be there.

Ans: It's entirely normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward when reconnecting with people you haven't been in contact with for a while or struggling to recognize them. Here are some tips that might help you navigate these situations more comfortably:

Focus on listening attentively to what the other person is saying rather than worrying about recognizing them or feeling awkward. Engage in the conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences.
If you're struggling to remember someone's name or recognize them, it's okay to be honest about it. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, it's been a while since we last met, and I'm having trouble placing you. Could you remind me of your name?" Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
Try to recall any shared experiences or details that might help jog your memory about the person you're reconnecting with. Ask about mutual friends, past events, or shared interests to facilitate the conversation.
Stay present in the moment and focus on the conversation rather than letting your mind wander or dwell on feelings of awkwardness. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can help you stay centered and calm.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and be open to reconnecting with old acquaintances. Remember that it's natural for people to change and evolve over time, and your past interactions may have shaped who they are today.
It's okay to make mistakes or feel uncomfortable in social situations. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone experiences moments of awkwardness from time to time. Focus on learning and growing from each interaction rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
If you're feeling particularly anxious about reconnecting with people, consider practicing social skills in low-pressure situations. Role-play conversations with a friend or family member, or join social groups or activities where you can gradually build confidence in interacting with others.
Remember that social interactions can be challenging for many people, and you're not alone in feeling this way. By approaching these situations with patience, honesty, and a willingness to learn, you can navigate them more comfortably over time.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

What you are facing is very common. The first step is to remember that you are not alone. Even the best of us face it. Second, have you tried dating apps? There is no speaking face to face, which substantially helps with the nervousness. You can chat with people for days before you even decide to meet them in person. You can also attract the people who can perfectly match your vibe, making it easier for you to feel more comfortable and relaxed with them.

Other than that, here are few tips you can try-

Start small. Start with small talks. You don't need to have a full blown conversation in the very first attempt. Say Hi, smile, or ask her about her day. If you feel shy to speak, master the art of listening. Women love a man who can actively listen. Third, be genuine and be yourself. The more you pretend to impress a girl, the trickier it can be to keep up the act. Moreover, you will be preoccupied with your pretense and won't focus on the quality of the conversation. Be you. Fourth, learn from your experience. Good or bad, experiences can teach us a lot. Reflect on the past conversations; the ones that went well and ones that didn't. Identify what worked and what needs improvement. And lastly, be patient. Building confidence can take a while. Not all of us are naturally blessed with it. Some of us have to work for it. But in the end, it will be worth your while.

Best Wishes.