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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11192 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 12, 2025Hindi
Money

Hi My monthly in hand salary is 84k My loans emi are more than 70 k What to do

Ans: ? Understand the seriousness of your EMI burden
– Your EMI is more than Rs.70,000.
– Your take-home is Rs.84,000.
– This means more than 80% goes in repaying loans.
– This is a very high debt-to-income ratio.
– It leaves very little for your monthly needs.
– Saving and investing becomes almost impossible.
– This can affect your peace of mind and stability.

? Start with identifying the types of loans
– List all loans with EMI and balance.
– Note the interest rate and tenure for each.
– This includes personal loans, credit card dues, car loans, etc.
– Check which loan has the highest interest rate.
– This step gives full clarity on your debt structure.

? Avoid any new loans or expenses for now
– Don’t take more loans to handle current EMIs.
– That will only increase your burden.
– Avoid using credit cards for EMI or cash withdrawal.
– Stop or pause any high-cost spending.
– No gadgets, no travel, no luxury expenses.

? Build a basic household budget immediately
– Track every rupee of your monthly spending.
– Separate must-have expenses from avoidable ones.
– Rent, groceries, medicines, utilities – keep these.
– Remove online shopping, OTT, dining out, weekend trips.
– Live very simple for the next 12–18 months.

? Find options to reduce your EMI load
– Try negotiating lower interest rate with lender.
– Use balance transfer to reduce EMI.
– Banks give lower rate for good credit scores.
– Extend loan tenure to lower monthly EMI.
– This increases total interest, but gives relief now.

? Try part-prepayment of small loans
– If any loan has low balance, try prepaying it.
– Use bonus, PF loan, family support if needed.
– Start with highest interest loan.
– That will save more in long run.

? Explore debt consolidation with proper advice
– Sometimes combining loans into one can help.
– But only do this if interest rate is lower.
– You must study terms carefully.
– Don’t go for informal lenders or apps.
– Only use regulated NBFCs or banks.

? Emergency fund is missing – create it gradually
– With such tight cash flow, emergency fund is vital.
– You can’t handle job loss without it.
– Aim for Rs.25,000 to Rs.50,000 first.
– Slowly grow it to 3 months of EMI and needs.
– Park it in safe liquid instruments.

? Investment should be paused temporarily
– Right now your focus is loan reduction.
– Investments can wait for 6–12 months.
– Clear debt and build stability first.
– Later, you can invest for goals.

? Avoid insurance-linked investments
– If you hold any ULIP, endowment or money-back plans, exit now.
– These give poor returns and have high charges.
– They reduce your liquidity and flexibility.
– Shift to pure term plan for protection.
– Invest separately in mutual funds later.

? Surrender and re-invest policies if applicable
– If you have LIC or similar policy, review it.
– If it is not term insurance, check surrender value.
– Exit non-performing plans and reinvest in mutual funds.
– Mutual funds are flexible and goal-based.

? Resume investments once cash flow improves
– Start small SIPs only when your EMI is manageable.
– Use actively managed mutual funds for better returns.
– Index funds look cheap, but have limits.
– Index funds don’t beat the market.
– Active funds try to give better than average return.

? Why index funds are not suitable for your case
– Index funds follow market blindly.
– They do not adjust based on risk or time horizon.
– They may underperform during crashes.
– You need customised growth, not average returns.
– Active funds managed by experts offer more.

? Mutual fund route – regular plan with MFD and CFP
– Don’t go for direct funds on your own.
– Direct funds give no hand-holding or guidance.
– Choosing wrong fund can cause loss.
– MFD + CFP can guide based on your goals.
– They help monitor and rebalance regularly.

? Focus on income stability and skill improvement
– Parallel to loan control, work on job stability.
– Upgrade skills in your domain.
– Learn tools, certifications or soft skills.
– Job loss or salary cut can worsen your loan problem.
– Keep improving yourself every 6 months.

? Plan for goals once loans are under control
– After 1–2 years, plan for these goals:
– Emergency fund
– Child education
– Retirement
– Home down payment (only if within budget)
– Prioritise retirement even if child is small.
– Don’t depend on property or pension in future.

? Always protect your family with insurance
– Term insurance is needed if you have dependents.
– Rs.50L to Rs.1Cr cover is ideal.
– Premium is low and benefit is high.
– Also, get health insurance for entire family.
– Don’t rely on company medical policy alone.

? Don't panic or lose confidence
– Many people face such debt situations.
– It’s a phase, not the end.
– Proper budgeting and planning can solve it.
– Stay disciplined and committed.
– One year of effort can change everything.

? Create a 3-step action plan from today
– Step 1: Review all EMIs and spending.
– Step 2: Try restructuring or partial prepayment.
– Step 3: Build emergency fund and resume SIP later.

? Stay away from high-risk or quick return plans
– Avoid crypto, trading, Ponzi apps or get-rich schemes.
– You can’t solve debt through speculation.
– Safety and liquidity matter more now.

? Keep reviewing your plan every 3 months
– Sit with a Certified Financial Planner regularly.
– Share updates and revise your goals.
– Consistency in execution is more important than speed.
– Financial freedom takes time but is possible.

? Finally
– Focus now is on survival and regaining balance.
– Once done, you can restart your investment journey.
– With planning and patience, you can still build wealth.
– You already took the first step by asking.
– Take action now, even if small.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11192 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 22, 2024

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Money
Hi sir i have the loan of 16 lac and income of 54k with monthly emi of 40k how to mangae all???
Ans: Managing a high EMI on a modest income can be challenging. Your current loan of ?16 lakhs with an EMI of ?40,000 on a ?54,000 income requires careful financial planning. Here’s how to manage your finances effectively.

Understanding Your Financial Situation
Income and Expenses
Your monthly income is ?54,000, with an EMI of ?40,000. This leaves you with ?14,000 for all other expenses. This tight margin necessitates a strategic approach.

Loan Details
A loan of ?16 lakhs with a high EMI consumes a significant portion of your income. Evaluating options to reduce the EMI can provide some relief.

Steps to Manage Your Loan and Finances
Budgeting
Track Expenses
Start by tracking all your expenses. Identify areas where you can cut costs. Every rupee saved can help ease your financial burden.

Create a Monthly Budget
Create a detailed budget. Prioritize essential expenses like food, utilities, and transport. Allocate a portion of your income towards savings, even if it's small.

Reducing EMI Burden
Loan Restructuring
Consider restructuring your loan. Extending the loan tenure can reduce the EMI, though it might increase the total interest paid.

Negotiating with Lenders
Talk to your lender about reducing the interest rate. Even a slight reduction can lower your EMI. Lenders may offer better terms based on your repayment history.

Additional Income Sources
Part-Time Jobs
Explore opportunities for part-time work or freelance jobs. This additional income can help cover expenses and reduce reliance on loans.

Monetize Skills
If you have specific skills or hobbies, consider monetizing them. Teaching, consulting, or online gigs can provide extra income.

Managing Expenses
Reduce Non-Essential Spending
Cut down on non-essential expenses like dining out, subscriptions, and luxury items. Focus on saving and reducing debt.

Use Budget-Friendly Alternatives
Opt for budget-friendly alternatives for daily needs. Buying in bulk, using discounts, and choosing generic brands can save money.

Emergency Fund
Building an Emergency Fund
Allocate a small portion of your income to build an emergency fund. This fund can cover unexpected expenses without impacting your EMI payments.

Utilizing Existing Savings
If you have existing savings, consider using a portion to pay down the loan. Reducing the principal can lower your EMI.

Professional Financial Advice
Consulting a Certified Financial Planner
Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner. They can provide tailored solutions to manage your loan and improve your financial health.

Debt Management Programs
Consider enrolling in a debt management program. These programs can negotiate better terms with lenders and provide structured repayment plans.

Investment Strategies
Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs)
Consider starting a SIP in a mutual fund. Even a small investment can grow over time and provide financial stability.

Benefits of Regular Mutual Funds
Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with CFP credentials offers guidance and personalized advice, optimizing your investments.

Avoid Direct Mutual Funds
Direct mutual funds have lower expense ratios but lack advisory services. Regular funds through an MFD provide support and better decision-making.

Financial Discipline
Regular Review
Regularly review your financial situation. Adjust your budget and repayment strategy based on your progress and changes in circumstances.

Set Financial Goals
Set short-term and long-term financial goals. Having clear objectives can motivate you to save and manage your expenses better.

Stress Management
Stay Positive
Financial stress can be overwhelming. Stay positive and focused on your goals. Small steps can lead to significant improvements over time.

Seek Support
Talk to family and friends for support. They can provide emotional backing and sometimes practical advice or assistance.

Conclusion
Managing a high EMI on a modest income is challenging but achievable with careful planning. By budgeting wisely, reducing expenses, seeking additional income, and consulting a Certified Financial Planner, you can navigate this period successfully. Regularly review your financial situation and adjust your strategies as needed to ensure long-term stability and peace of mind.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11192 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2024Hindi
Listen
Money
I have a in hand salary of 1 lakh but my monthly emi is 3 lakhs.How to handle such scenario.Please advice
Ans: Your situation requires careful financial management and strategic adjustments. Here's a step-by-step approach to help you handle this challenge effectively.

Assessing the Current Situation
Income and EMI Mismatch
Your monthly EMI of Rs 3 lakhs significantly exceeds your in-hand salary of Rs 1 lakh.
This gap could lead to financial stress and defaults if not addressed promptly.
Asset and Liability Analysis
Check if you have savings, investments, or other income sources to bridge the gap.
Identify the loans contributing to this high EMI burden.
Prioritising Loan Repayment
Analyse Loan Types
Separate high-interest loans (personal loans, credit cards) from low-interest loans (home loans).
Focus on clearing high-interest loans first to reduce the burden.
Opt for Loan Restructuring
Approach lenders for EMI restructuring to extend the tenure.
Longer tenure reduces EMI but increases total interest outflow.
Partial Prepayment
Use any liquid assets to make partial prepayments on high-interest loans.
This reduces principal and future EMIs effectively.
Exploring Additional Income
Secondary Income Sources
Consider freelancing or part-time opportunities to boost income.
Rent out any property or assets for additional cash flow.
Liquidating Non-Essential Assets
Sell underperforming or unnecessary assets to generate funds.
Use these funds to partially prepay or clear debts.
Cutting Down on Expenses
Essential vs Non-Essential Expenses
Categorise expenses into essential (rent, groceries) and non-essential (luxuries).
Cut down on discretionary spending to allocate more towards EMI payments.
Lifestyle Adjustments
Opt for a minimalist lifestyle until financial stability improves.
Reduce costly habits like dining out or premium subscriptions.
Building an Emergency Fund
Short-Term Emergency Corpus
Keep at least three months of EMIs in liquid funds for emergencies.
This ensures you don’t miss payments due to unexpected situations.
Protecting Long-Term Investments
Avoid withdrawing from long-term investments like PPF or EPF.
These are crucial for your future financial security.
Strengthening Your Financial Foundation
Credit Score Management
Ensure timely EMI payments to avoid damaging your credit score.
A good credit score will help in negotiating better loan terms.
Insurance Protection
Maintain adequate health and life insurance coverage.
This safeguards your family in case of unforeseen circumstances.
Consulting with Experts
Certified Financial Planner Guidance
Work with a Certified Financial Planner to restructure your portfolio.
They can help optimise investments and manage debt efficiently.
Debt Counselling
Seek professional debt counselling for expert advice on repayment strategies.
Final Insights
Managing a high EMI with a limited salary is challenging but achievable. Focus on restructuring your loans, cutting unnecessary expenses, and exploring additional income sources. Avoid liquidating critical long-term investments unless absolutely necessary. Strategic planning and disciplined execution will help you regain financial stability over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11192 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2025

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Money
Sir, I don't have savings, Personal Loan of 10L against the Loan EMI of 28K. Don't have house and living in rentals 9K. Monthly salary is 60K. Monthly expenses is 22K. What I will do Sir, I am at 36
Ans: At 36, you face challenges but also have opportunities to rebuild your finances. Your current situation requires a structured plan to clear debt, build savings, and secure your financial future. Let’s address this step by step.

Current Financial Snapshot
1. Income and Expenses:

Monthly salary: Rs. 60,000.

Loan EMI: Rs. 28,000.

Rent: Rs. 9,000.

Other monthly expenses: Rs. 22,000.

Remaining balance after expenses: Rs. 1,000 (approx.).

2. Debt:

Personal loan outstanding: Rs. 10 lakh.

EMI of Rs. 28,000 is a significant part of your income.

3. No Savings or Investments:

You currently have no emergency fund or investments.

This increases financial vulnerability.

Immediate Financial Priorities
1. Managing Debt:

Focus on reducing the personal loan as quickly as possible.

Consider negotiating a lower interest rate or refinancing.

Avoid taking any additional loans during this period.

2. Budget Optimisation:

Revisit your expenses and identify areas for savings.

Allocate more towards debt repayment from non-essential expenses.

Track expenses weekly to avoid overspending.

3. Building Emergency Fund:

Start with a small amount, even Rs. 1,000 per month.

Gradually aim for a fund covering six months of expenses.

Debt Management Plan
1. Increase Monthly Repayments:

Use any extra income or savings to pay off your loan faster.

Clearing the loan early reduces interest burden.

2. Avoid Debt Traps:

Do not use credit cards or take new loans for current expenses.

Avoid borrowing from informal sources with high interest rates.

3. Side Income Opportunities:

Explore part-time work or freelance projects for extra income.

Direct all additional income towards loan repayment.

Expense Management Plan
1. Essential vs. Non-Essential Expenses:

Categorise expenses as essential (rent, food, EMI) and non-essential.

Reduce spending on dining out, subscriptions, and other discretionary items.

2. Rental Expenses:

Rs. 9,000 rent is reasonable, but explore cost-effective options if possible.

Share accommodation to reduce rent temporarily.

3. Set Spending Limits:

Assign specific budgets for each expense category.

Use mobile apps to track and manage expenses.

Building Savings and Investments
1. Emergency Fund Creation:

Start saving in a high-liquidity account for emergencies.

Build the fund gradually while repaying the loan.

2. Begin Small Investments:

After clearing debt, start investing in mutual funds through SIPs.

Focus on actively managed funds for higher growth potential.

3. Avoid Direct Funds:

Direct funds lack professional guidance and regular monitoring.

Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner provide better results.

Future Financial Goals
1. Securing Retirement:

Once debt is cleared, allocate a portion of income for retirement.

Increase your NPS contributions for long-term benefits.

2. Insurance:

Ensure you have adequate health insurance to manage medical emergencies.

If you have dependents, consider term life insurance for their protection.

3. Long-Term Investments:

Build a diversified portfolio with equity and debt funds.

Actively review and rebalance investments annually.

Tax Implications to Consider
1. Loan Repayment:

Personal loans do not offer tax benefits unless used for business.

Focus on clearing the loan to free up cash flow.

2. Investment Taxation:

Mutual funds offer tax efficiency but vary by type.

Equity gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

Financial Discipline
1. Stick to the Plan:

Create a realistic financial plan and follow it diligently.

Avoid impulsive purchases or lifestyle inflation.

2. Build a Support System:

Share your financial goals with trusted friends or family.

This ensures accountability and encouragement.

3. Review Regularly:

Assess your financial progress every three months.

Make adjustments based on income, expenses, or unexpected events.

Final Insights
Your financial situation is challenging but manageable with discipline and planning. Prioritise clearing your personal loan to improve cash flow. Once the loan is repaid, focus on building savings and investing. Stick to a strict budget to reduce unnecessary expenses. Work with a Certified Financial Planner for professional guidance. Their expertise can help you achieve financial stability and long-term growth. With consistent effort, you can regain control and build a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11192 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 28, 2025

Money
hi my salary income is 3.60 LAKHS MY LOAN EMI IS AROUND 12000 PLEASE SUGGEST
Ans: You are earning Rs. 3.6 lakhs annually. That means a monthly income of Rs. 30,000.

Your loan EMI is Rs. 12,000. That is 40% of your income. It is quite high. Let us plan smartly.

Below is a simple and practical 360-degree financial plan for you.

Income and Expense Analysis

Monthly income is Rs. 30,000. That is your total cash inflow.

EMI is Rs. 12,000. That reduces your free cash to Rs. 18,000.

Basic living expenses like rent, groceries, and utilities must be within Rs. 10,000.

Try to keep monthly spending under control. Reduce luxury and impulsive purchases.

Emergency Fund First

Build an emergency fund of at least Rs. 30,000 to Rs. 45,000.

This will cover 3 to 6 months of basic needs.

Keep this fund in a savings account or liquid mutual fund.

This will avoid loan or credit card use during emergencies.

Loan Management Strategy

EMI of Rs. 12,000 per month is a big load.

Do not take any new loans now. Avoid credit card EMIs or buy-now-pay-later plans.

If possible, check if you can refinance the loan at a lower interest rate.

Use small bonuses or gifts to reduce principal early.

Avoid defaulting. Keep EMI payment top priority.

Monthly Budget Plan

Fixed EMI: Rs. 12,000

Basic expenses: Rs. 10,000

Balance left: Rs. 8,000

Save Rs. 4,000 monthly in a savings account until emergency fund is ready.

After that, start SIPs with Rs. 2,000 to Rs. 3,000 monthly in mutual funds.

Remaining Rs. 1,000 to Rs. 2,000 can be for small goals or yearly expenses.

Insurance Protection

First priority is health insurance.

Buy one personal health insurance even if employer gives one.

Rs. 5 lakh cover is enough now. Choose affordable premium.

Term insurance is not needed if you have no dependents.

If your parents or family depend on your income, then take a term plan.

Keep it simple and affordable.

Short Term Goals Planning

Do you want to save for mobile, bike, vacation, or gifts?

Use recurring deposit or liquid fund for these small-term goals.

Avoid using credit card or personal loan.

Plan the goal. Fix monthly savings. Stick to it.

Keep short-term goals realistic and achievable.

Long-Term Planning

Your salary is not high now. But future income can grow.

Every time you get a hike, save more. Increase SIP by 10% every year.

SIP in diversified equity funds can grow wealth over long term.

Do not invest in direct funds. They lack personal guidance.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner or MFD with a clear goal.

Avoid index funds. They blindly copy market. They do not beat inflation.

Choose actively managed funds with solid track record.

Stay invested for 5 years or more to see real benefits.

Avoiding Common Mistakes

Do not chase fancy investments. Stick to basic mutual funds and savings.

Do not invest in real estate now. It needs high capital and has risks.

Do not invest in insurance plans. ULIPs or money-back plans give poor returns.

Focus only on pure investment options.

Do not lend money to friends or family. Protect your cash flow.

Tax-Saving Plan

Your income is Rs. 3.6 lakhs. You are below tax slab.

You need not worry about tax planning now.

But if income crosses Rs. 5 lakhs, then invest under 80C.

ELSS mutual funds are good for long-term and tax-saving.

PPF is also a safe and long-term option.

Choose what suits your risk profile and time horizon.

Future Salary Hike – Smart Use

When salary increases, avoid lifestyle jump.

Keep fixed expenses the same. Save more from the hike.

Try to increase SIP by 10% every year.

Build separate funds for retirement, health, and lifestyle needs.

Small savings now will become big money later.

Use every salary growth wisely.

Support From Family

If possible, ask for rent-sharing or food-sharing if staying with parents or siblings.

That will free up Rs. 2,000 to Rs. 4,000 monthly.

Use it to build emergency fund or start SIP early.

Financial planning is not just income-based. It is about how we manage lifestyle.

Keep Financial Discipline

Always spend less than you earn. Save the rest.

Track every rupee. Note expenses in a diary or app.

Set monthly targets and track them.

Reward yourself when you stick to plan.

Investment Priority Ladder

First: Emergency fund

Second: Loan EMI

Third: Basic insurance (health)

Fourth: Monthly SIP in mutual funds

Fifth: Save for short-term needs

Avoid Complex Products

Do not go for ULIPs or endowment plans.

Do not buy gold schemes or chit funds.

Avoid stock trading or crypto. They are risky now.

Avoid direct stock investing without full knowledge.

Stick with mutual funds and simple plans for now.

Review Plan Every 6 Months

Track your budget, savings, and goals.

See if you are meeting your target.

Make changes if income or expenses change.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner every year.

Finally

You are taking the right step by asking for guidance.

Your income is limited now. But good planning can help grow wealth.

Protect your money. Save first. Then invest.

Build habits now. Future becomes easy.

No income is too small. Every rupee can grow if invested wisely.

Keep your plan simple. Stay consistent.

Avoid mistakes. Avoid greed.

Start small. But start now.

Every smart step today builds a better tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |126 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jun 08, 2026

Career
My husband is out of job since the past 4 years after we came to India following COVID. He was working as Senior Accountant in Dubai and after his company's layoff we shifted base to India. Thought he joined two jobs for a very short time he quit and has been since only applying for job opportunities. Unfortunately he has not been receiving any calls for any interview nor has made any attempts to personally look for any job. I have ever since joined work and is the only breadwinner of the family.My husband doesn't want to contribute anything to the household expenditure except for daughters school fees.He is of the opinion that he has done his contribution earlier when he was working and as I am working need to be responsible for the family. Considering all the circumstances I am confused as none of my advice has any affect on his behaviour. Please advise
Ans: Hi!!
It is nice to know that he is contributing towards the fees of his children! Have you asked him how he is managing it?
The financial responsibility is on both the partners… it doesn’t matter who is at home and who is working. You sit across and discuss how much money comes in and how much money goes out. The how and why of savings for the future is also a joint venture!!
Now with this background decide whether it is enough if one of you works and the other manages everything at home. Segregate work, share responsibility.
Losing a job can be very hard on mental well being, then not finding a fulfilling job can worsen it.
Check whether your husband is truly unwilling to find a job or he has gotten comfortable/ lazy sitting at home.
I am sure you have been married long enough to sit across and talk lovingly with concern and care, and come up with solutions.
Please do not nag…
If nothing works, seek help of a professional!!

...Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |126 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jun 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2026
Career
My wife doesn't like dogs. I have two dogs who are like family to me. She screams and disrespects them saying she is scared of them. I am feeling very betrayed because I had mentioned this condition while sending our proposal to her family. It was also written in my matrimonial profile that we have two dogs who stay with us. We rejected so many proposals for this very reason but the family including my wife ignored it and now it is affecting our marriage. It has only been two months and I have to keep my dogs on a leash for the first time. They are deeply hurt and affected. I respect her too but how do I explain to her that my dogs are safe? Everyone in my family is equally concerned but my in-laws feel that dogs should be treated as pets not family. I strongly disagree. If my partner cannot accept my dogs, would it be right to file for divorce? Please help.
Ans: Hi!!
I can empathise with this whole situation at your home!
Let’s start tackling each issue that you have mentioned one by one…
1. There is surely a breach of trust here bfr marriage.. you did mention that your pets are an integral part of the family… you need to sit down and discuss this… find a common ground.This discussion is between you and your wife only.
2. Ask the in- laws to stay out of the discussion about how your family treats pets.
3. Take the pets out of the scenario and check the equation between you and your wife. How much value you attach to this relationship and each other? What lengths will both of you go to ensure that this partnership works?
If it’s a win - win situation, then sit down and chalk out a plan to make it work…
5. Both of you be part of solutions….ask her what was she expecting from you knowing that you are a pet lover and this was a precondition for marriage, yet she went ahead and got married to you…
6.There is no black and white solution here… I am also thinking aloud as I write to you…
After all the heart to heart talk… tell her that tying the dogs is not an option.. they are like children to you! Ask her to come up with solutions… tell her you want the marriage to work..you also from your end try to make her comfortable slowly get her used to the dogs, show her that they are harmless. The fear of dogs can be taken away slowly… consult a psychologist/ marriage counsellor to help you out if your efforts don’t yield results!
7. It’s been just 02 months. Both of you try to make the marriage work . You are both equally responsible for this marriage!!

All the very best!

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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