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Is it wise to stop investing in PSU funds?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 08, 2024Hindi
Money

I have invested 10k in Invesco psu equity fund which is giving me negative returns should I stop investing in psu funds at this time or reduce sip amount to 5k

Ans: Public Sector Undertaking (PSU) funds can sometimes show volatility, especially in the short term. Since you’ve noticed negative returns from your Rs. 10,000 investment, it’s understandable to feel concerned. Let’s break down the situation to help you decide whether to stop or reduce your Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) in PSU funds.

Long-Term Nature of PSU Investments
First, it’s important to appreciate that PSU funds are typically more volatile because they are heavily influenced by government policies, economic cycles, and sector-specific challenges. These funds are not known for consistent short-term returns but are better suited for long-term investors who are patient.

If your investment horizon is more than five years, you might still see recovery and positive returns as PSUs tend to perform well in certain market phases. If you reduce or stop your investment now, you may miss out on potential future gains. So, patience can be rewarding here.

Negative Returns: Short-Term Market Fluctuations or a Deeper Concern?
It is quite common to see negative returns during volatile periods. However, negative returns do not always indicate poor fund performance. The market as a whole might be going through a down phase, and PSUs tend to react more dramatically. It’s critical to evaluate the following factors before making any decisions:

Fund’s Track Record: How has the fund performed in the past, particularly over 3, 5, or 7 years? If its long-term performance is strong, then short-term negative returns are not necessarily a red flag.

Sector Outlook: Are there any changes in the sector or government policies that could impact PSU stocks? A sectoral slowdown or specific challenges for PSUs may result in underperformance for the time being.

Your Investment Horizon: If your financial goals are far off, it may make sense to continue your SIP and ride out the market fluctuations. However, if you need the money sooner, reducing your exposure could be worth considering.

Consider Diversification Over Complete Exit
If the volatility in PSU funds is a concern, you don’t need to stop investing entirely. Instead, reducing your SIP amount from Rs. 10,000 to Rs. 5,000 can be a more balanced approach. This strategy allows you to keep some exposure to PSU funds, which could benefit from sectoral rebounds in the future, while freeing up money for other more stable investments.

Reducing the SIP amount can give you peace of mind while maintaining long-term potential in your portfolio.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Rather than focusing solely on PSU funds, you may want to allocate part of your investment to actively managed funds. Unlike index funds or ETFs, actively managed funds have professionals making informed decisions about which stocks to buy and sell. This gives you the benefit of market insights and adjustments based on performance. It can help stabilize your returns, as these funds are often more diversified across various sectors.

This diversification lowers the risk of overexposure to a single sector, such as PSUs. By spreading your investment across multiple sectors through actively managed funds, you can improve your portfolio’s balance.

Avoiding Index Funds and Direct Mutual Funds
It is important to understand that index funds, though cheaper, are not always the best option. They simply mimic the index and lack the flexibility to shift when market conditions change. This can expose you to more risk, especially when sectors like PSUs face challenges.

Direct mutual funds might seem like a good choice to save on commissions, but they often require extensive market knowledge. For most investors, it is better to work with a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) who has a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) credential. They can help you select funds that align with your financial goals and risk profile.

Alternatives for More Stability
If PSU funds are causing too much concern, you could consider reallocating part of your investment to funds with more stable returns. For example:

Balanced Advantage Funds: These funds automatically shift between equity and debt based on market conditions. They can offer a more balanced risk-return profile, making them less volatile compared to PSU-focused funds.

Debt Funds: For those who want to focus on stability, debt funds offer consistent returns with lower risk. They are a good way to generate steady income while reducing exposure to volatile sectors.

By reallocating some of your SIP into more balanced or debt-oriented funds, you can manage your risk more effectively without exiting the market altogether.

Regular Review of Your Portfolio
It’s essential to periodically review your portfolio and see how different funds are performing. While PSU funds might not be delivering now, regular assessment with the help of a Certified Financial Planner can provide you with insights on whether to hold, switch, or reduce your investments.

If the overall performance of your portfolio is aligned with your long-term goals, a short-term dip in PSU fund performance might not be a reason to panic. Staying invested through market cycles is often the best way to grow wealth over time.

Final Insights
In summary, your investment in PSU funds might be showing negative returns now, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time to exit entirely. Here’s a quick action plan:

Evaluate the Fund’s Long-Term Performance: Don’t make decisions based on short-term dips. Look at the track record and sector outlook.

Consider Reducing, Not Stopping: Reduce your SIP to Rs. 5,000 rather than stopping entirely. This keeps you invested while freeing up money for other options.

Diversify Into Actively Managed Funds: Use part of your investment in actively managed funds for more stability and potential growth. Avoid direct mutual funds and index funds due to their limitations.

Reallocate to More Stable Funds: Consider adding balanced advantage or debt funds to reduce volatility.

Review Regularly: Keep assessing your portfolio’s performance with a CFP to stay on track.

By following these steps, you can make a more informed decision about whether to continue, reduce, or stop your SIP in PSU funds.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/holistic_investment_planners/
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

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Sir I have been investing in quant psu fund ,SIP of 5k every months, since feb 2024 . Its performance is very very poor, since I have invested, even my principle amount has already drown in june ???????? Since I'm continuing my SIP regularly Kindly please advice me should i continue or make exit.
Ans: Your commitment to regular SIP investment is highly appreciable. Staying disciplined is a key strength in wealth creation. However, the underperformance of your fund requires a detailed review.

Performance Assessment of Sectoral or Thematic Funds

Sectoral funds, like PSU-focused funds, are dependent on specific sectors' performance.

They carry higher volatility compared to diversified equity funds.

Short-term market fluctuations may lead to temporary underperformance.

Limitations of Investing in Sectoral Funds

Lack of diversification increases risk due to sector concentration.

Performance is highly cyclical and depends on external factors.

Long-term patience is crucial as short-term results can be misleading.

Reviewing the Investment Horizon

Your SIP started recently, in February 2024.

Sector-specific funds often require a longer horizon for results.

Assess if your financial goals align with the fund’s nature.

Key Considerations Before Exiting the Fund

Check the fund's portfolio quality and sector exposure.

Analyse if the fund manager's strategy aligns with your objectives.

A Certified Financial Planner can help evaluate alternatives.

Should You Exit or Continue?

Exit if the fund consistently underperforms its benchmark and peers.

Continue if market conditions for the sector improve soon.

Consider switching to a diversified equity fund for stability.

Benefits of Diversified Equity Funds Over Sectoral Funds

Diversified funds spread risks across sectors and companies.

They offer better consistency in returns over the long term.

Active fund management adjusts investments based on market trends.

Role of a Certified Financial Planner

A Certified Financial Planner helps align your investments with your goals.

They provide insights on market trends and fund strategies.

Regular portfolio reviews ensure investments stay on track.

Tax Implications of Exiting Your Fund

If held for less than one year, STCG tax applies at 20%.

Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh held over a year incur 12.5% LTCG tax.

Understand the tax impact before making an exit decision.

Final Insights

Your SIP investment shows your financial discipline and focus. Review the fund’s performance with expert help. If it misaligns with your goals, consider switching to a diversified equity fund. Long-term planning ensures financial stability and growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10902 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025Hindi
Listen
Money
I have been investing in SIP an amount of 46K every month. Currently I have invested around 12Lakh, 3 months back the profit was around 35% but now it got reduced to 10%, Considering current market situation, 1) Shall I reduce the monthly SIP amount, 2) Continue with same monthly amount 3) Come out from SIP or 4) Increase the monthly investment. Please guide me. I have long term (5 years) in mind,
Ans: You have been investing consistently through SIPs, which is a great approach. Market fluctuations are normal. Below is a structured analysis of your situation and the best course of action.

Understanding Market Volatility
Markets move in cycles, and short-term declines are common.

Your portfolio was up 35% but is now at 10%, which shows correction.

Staying invested is key to long-term wealth creation.

Should You Reduce SIPs?
Reducing SIPs during market corrections is not advisable.

Lower prices mean you get more units for the same investment.

Stopping SIPs now can reduce future growth potential.

Should You Continue the Same SIP Amount?
If your financial situation allows, continuing SIPs is ideal.

Five years is a medium-term horizon, and markets recover over time.

Rupee cost averaging works best when investments remain consistent.

Should You Exit the SIPs?
Exiting now locks in lower returns.

Long-term investing needs patience and discipline.

Markets will eventually recover, leading to better returns.

Should You Increase SIP Amount?
If you have surplus funds, increasing SIPs can be beneficial.

Lower market levels provide better entry points.

Investing more now can enhance long-term returns.

Best Investment Strategy for You
Continue SIPs without reducing the amount.

If possible, increase SIPs to take advantage of lower prices.

Avoid emotional decisions based on short-term market movements.

Stay invested for the full five-year horizon for better gains.

Final Insights
Market corrections are normal and provide buying opportunities.

Reducing or stopping SIPs can impact long-term wealth creation.

Staying invested and increasing SIPs when possible is a wise approach.

Maintain discipline and review your portfolio periodically.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6750 Answers  |Ask -

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Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
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Hello Reetika Mam, I am 48 year having privet Job. I have started investment from 2017, current value of investment is 82L and having monthly 50K SIP as below. My goal to have 2.5Cr corpus at the age of 58. Please advice... 1. Nippon India small cap -Growth Rs 5,000 2. Sundaram Mid Cap fund Regular plan-Growth Rs 5,000 3. ICICI Prudential Small Cap- Growth Rs 10,000 4. ICICI Prudential Large Cap fund-Growth Rs 5,000 5. ICICI Prudential Balanced Adv. fund-Growth Rs 5,000 6. DSP Small Cap fund Regular Growth Rs 5,000 7. Nippn India Pharma Fund- Growth Rs 5,000 8. SBI focused Fund Regular plan- Growth Rs 5,000 9. SBI Dynamic Asset Allocation Active FoF-Regular-Growth Rs 5,000
Ans: Hi,

You can easily achieve your goal of 2.5 crores after 10 years. Your current investment value of 82 lakhs alone can grow to 2.5 crores assuming CAGR of 12% and monthly 50k SIP will give additional 1.1 crores, making a total corpus of 3.6 crores at 58.

But I see a problem with your current allocation. The fund selection is more aligned towards small caps of different AMCs and very concentrated and overlapped portfolio.
You need to diversify it so as to secure your current investment while getting a decent CAGR of 12% over next 10 years.
Focus on changing your current funds to large caps and BAFs and flexicaps and avoid sectoral funds.

You can also work with an advisor to get detailed analysis of your portfolio.
Hence you should consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

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Hi, I am 32 years old, married, and have a 4-year-old daughter. My monthly take-home salary is 55,000 rupees, and my wife's salary is 31,000 rupees, making our total income 86,000 rupees. I am currently in a lot of debt. Our total EMIs amount to 99,910 rupees (total loans with an average interest rate of 12.5%), and even with my father covering most of the monthly expenses, I still spend about 10,000 rupees. This leaves me with a shortage of approximately 25,000 rupees (debt) every month. My total debt across various banks is 36,50,000 rupees, and I also have a gold loan of 14 lakhs. I cannot change the EMI or loan tenure for another year. I also have a 2 lakh rupee loan from private lenders at an 18% interest rate. My total debt is over 52 lakhs. Now, with gold and silver prices rising, I'm worried that I won't be able to buy them again. I have an opportunity to get a 2 lakh rupee loan at a 12% interest rate, and I'm thinking of using that money to buy gold and silver and then pledge them at the bank again. Half of my current gold loan is from a similar situation – I took a loan from private lenders, bought gold, and then took a gold loan from the bank to repay the private loan. Given my current situation and my family's circumstances, should I buy more gold or focus on repaying my debts? What should I do? The monthly interest on my loans is approximately 50,000 rupees, meaning 50,000 rupees of my salary goes towards interest every month. What should I do in this situation? I also have an SBI Jan Nivesh SIP of 2000 rupees per month for the last four months. I have no savings left. I am thinking of taking out term insurance and health insurance, but I am hesitating because I don't have the money. I am looking for some suggestions to get out of these debts.
Ans: Hi Surya,

You are in a very complicated situation. This whole debt trapped needs to be worked on very judiciously. Let us go through all the aspects in detail.

1. Your total monthly household salary - 86000; monthly expense - 10000 contribution as of now; monthly EMI - approx. 1 lakhs.
2. Current loans - 36.5 lakhs from various banks at 12.5%; Gold Loan - 14 lakhs; private lenders - 2 lakhs at 18% >> totalling to 52 lakhs.
3. 50k interest per month payable - implies capital payment is very less leading to more problem.

- Keen on buying gold with loan. This is where more problem will began. Avoid buying gold using loan.
- Your focus should be on reducing your debt instead of increasing it.

Strategy to follow:
1. Close the loan with higher interest rate - 2 lakh personal lender. This will reduce your EMI and give you more potential to prepay other loans.
2. Try and take financial help from your family in prepaying small loans from banks. This can reduce your burden.
3. If you have any unused assets, can sell them to pay off your loans.

Points to NOTE:
> Avoid taking any more loans.
> When your EMI burden reduces, do make an emergency fund of 2-3 lakhs for yourself for any uncetain situation.
> Make sure to have a health insurance for yourself and family.
> Can stop your investments for now. They are of no use if your EMIs are more than your income. Can start investing once your EMI's reduce atleast by 20-30% for you.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |432 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

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Hello Sir ; I am 55 years old & have decided to retire by end of 2025 . My wife is in teaching profession , earns appx. 3.5 L / annum & will continue her service till 2037( @60 yrs. of age ) . My only child is an intellectually disabled person ( with Autism ) , 14 years of age & will be incapable to earn . As on date , I have 60 L in MF , going to sell a property by end of this year @ 41 L ( it is fixed ) , appx 5L in Bank & postal FD . My wife have 45L in MF as on date & 3 fully paid premium ULIP policy which will be matured by 2030. She can get appx. 25 L from there . This is by and large my family financial status . Now , my queries to you that with this corpus , how we manage our ( myself & wife’s ) livelihood & most important that to manage a continuous cash flow for my disabled child till his age 65 i.e. 50 years from now . Primarily , I have thought of SWP & MIS schemes to get regular income for th retirement . My present family expense is appx. 1L per month . Therefore , I do seek your expert advice in this regards . I will be highly obliged if you kindly address to my query . thanking you , with best regards ; Suprabhat Jatty.
Ans: Hi Suprabhat,

Let us analyse all things in detail - one at a time.
1. 5L in Bank and FD - this is your emergency fund. But if there is a lock-in on the postal FD, you need atleast 5 lakhs in bank FD as your emergency fund.
2. Health Insurance - it is the prime requirement for you and your family. You should have one covering you, your spouse as well as your kid. It will help you in uncertain health conditions of youself and family.
3. ULIP Policy - Usually policies like such are not beneficial. But these are all paid-up, good point here. Whenever you get this, try to invest it in equity and hybrid mutual funds.
4. You will get 41 lakhs from property selling. Invest the entire amount in mutual funds, a mix of equity and debt funds.
5. Cumulative MF portfolio = 1.05 crores. As the entire corpus is huge, take the advice of a proper advisor on managing your overall investments and portfolio. A guided investment always generates better result than a random portfolio.

Your annual needs - 12 lakhs; Wife will earn - 3.5 lakhs till 2037. You need additional 8.5 lakhs per year to manage your expenses.
- You can initiate a SWP from your overall savings after allocating it in correct funds with the help of advisor.
- You need to have a dedicated corpus for your son's need in your absence. Atleast 50-70 lakhs should be kept solely for your son.
- The overall corpus seems insufficient to meet your requirements for now. You can either postpone your retirement and create an additional savings corpus for your future and son. Or you may consider to work on your monthly budget.

Do work with a professional advisor to guide you with exact funds to meet your desired goals.
Hence consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am 43 years old married man, arranged marriage. Married for past 13 years with 4 kids (aged 2, 3, 10 and 13). I work abroad with good salary package and live with my family. My wife is MSc. and home maker. She teaches the kids and cooks and takes good care of kids. I am academic research scholar. From the start of our marriage, I noticed my wife does not open much and moderate religious person. I am also not very extrovert person. I work from 8 am to 5 pm in office which is walkable distance from my house. After coming from office, I help her in kichen daily, look after the kids, help kids in math, clean the house, put the yougest kid to sleep, then I get some 'me' time which happens only after 11:30 pm in the night. I dont use phone untill everybody is sleep or my kids dont allow me to use phone while i am playing with them. Now sometimes I feel we are just room mates with 1-2 times sex in a month. In terms of love with my wife, I initiate all the time, she never expresses love. I am not very possessive kind of person. She does not show any interest in my work and never ask me hows my day etc. She only smiles and rarely laught. I thought may be it will improve with time. There is no money issue, she buys what ever she likes. She has her own card and I provide extra money if she asks. I assumed may be she does not like me from the beginning but staying in marriage due to family pressure and kids. I am average looking person and dont accept everything what she says in terms of investment, holiday etc. I had accepted my fate. She started doing book writing and publishing online and now earning and keeping separate account, She is very excited about it and feels happy and shares with me the publication but not the earnings. I give suggestions and money what ever she asks for marketting and promotion etc. I am happy for her. Recently I came across an email in her phone which was from her ex. There was a long deleted chat, in summary they were madly in love but could not get married, i dont know the reason or even she never spoke about him. they kept chatting even after our marriage. Her ex got married and divorsed with one grownup kid. He is single and work abroad in a different country with good salary package (may be better than mine). She emailed him after long time I guess but now she is secretly chatting with him very often. she keeps her phone locked and deletes the chats. He is also interested and asking her to leave and marry him. She is not saying yes to him but regrets that she married me. At this point I dont know if I should talk to her regarding this but she will definitely be upset to know i checked her phone. Few years back we had a major fight (that time i didnot know about her ex), i had proposed for divorse and settle it mutually if she is not happy with me but she denied and stayed. I dont know what I should do to make her happy. we both are from very respected family in the society and I dont know if her parents knew about her affair. Even though she is chatting with him but she behaves very normal with me, no fight no argument, as if nothing is happening. I dont know whats in her mind, is she just casually chatting with him or buying time, waiting for the right moment to leave? Shall I file for divorse or accept my fate as room mates. Am I worrying too much?
Ans: First, let me say this clearly: you are not worrying “too much.” Your concerns are valid. When emotional connection, affection, and curiosity about each other’s inner worlds are absent for years, and when secrecy enters the relationship, it naturally shakes trust. The fact that she is emotionally engaging with a past love, hiding communication, and expressing regret about marrying you — even if not directly to your face — is not a small or harmless thing. It doesn’t automatically mean she will leave, but it does mean there is unresolved emotional business that cannot be ignored.
At the same time, it’s important not to jump straight to extremes like divorce or silent resignation. Right now, the most important thing is clarity — for you and for her. Living as silent roommates while carrying this knowledge will slowly erode your self-worth and peace of mind. You deserve honesty, and your marriage deserves a chance to be examined truthfully, not just maintained for appearances, family reputation, or routine.
If you choose to speak to her, the way you approach it will matter far more than the fact that you looked at her phone. Try not to lead with accusation or surveillance. Lead with your emotional reality. You can say something like: you’ve been feeling emotionally distant for a long time, you feel you’re always the one initiating closeness, and recently you’ve felt even more unsettled and insecure about where you stand in her life. You don’t need to reveal every detail of what you saw immediately; the goal is to open a conversation about emotional honesty, not to trap her in a confession.
Pay close attention to how she responds. Not defensiveness alone, but whether she shows willingness to reflect, to talk about her inner world, and to consider rebuilding emotional intimacy with you. A marriage can sometimes be repaired even after emotional betrayal — but only if both partners are willing to be transparent and actively work on reconnecting. If she avoids the conversation, minimizes your feelings, or continues secrecy, then you will have important information about where the marriage truly stands.
It’s also worth acknowledging something gently but honestly: your wife may have spent years emotionally closed not because of you alone, but because she never fully processed the loss of that earlier relationship. Her recent independence and success may have stirred unresolved emotions and old longings. That explains her behavior, but it does not justify secrecy or emotional infidelity. Understanding this can help you speak with compassion without sacrificing your boundaries.
Before making any legal decisions, I strongly encourage you to consider couples counseling, ideally with someone experienced in long-term marriages and emotional affairs. A neutral space can help both of you speak truths that feel too risky at home. It will also help you understand whether she wants to stay and rebuild, or whether she is emotionally preparing to leave.
As for “accepting your fate,” I want to be very clear: accepting a life where you feel invisible, undesired, and emotionally alone is not a virtue. It is a slow form of self-erasure. Your children benefit most not from parents who silently endure, but from adults who model honesty, self-respect, and emotional responsibility.
You don’t have to decide everything right now. But you do need to stop carrying this alone. The next step is not divorce or resignation — it’s an honest, calm, courageous conversation focused on emotional truth. From there, the path forward will become clearer, even if it’s difficult.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My husband doesn't lock the door when we have s**. This was the main reason for his ex-wife to divorce him. His parents feel that it is safer to keep the door unlocked in case of emergencies. But honestly,I feel awkward. I am not comfortable. Once his sister casually walked in to pick up some stuff, ignoring us on the bed. I was clothed but it still made me feel uncomfortable. We don't have a private bedroom but we use the bed at night. There are two shared wardrobes in the room which people need to access. I have explained this to my husband but he says I need to learn to adjust and work around it. Even if the door is closed, I always fear that someone might just walk in. What to do?
Ans: This is not a small preference issue. This is about personal boundaries and bodily autonomy. Even if nothing “bad” has happened, the fear of being walked in on is enough to make your body stay tense. That anxiety alone can affect your sense of dignity, desire, and emotional security. The fact that his ex-wife divorced him over the same issue tells you that this pattern is longstanding and not something you are imagining.
Your husband and his parents may frame this as “safety” or “emergency access,” but that argument does not hold when weighed against your right to privacy. Emergencies are rare; violations of comfort are happening now. A locked door during intimacy does not mean negligence—it means respect. Many families manage emergencies with simple alternatives like knocking, calling out, or keeping keys for true emergencies. What’s happening instead is that your need for privacy is being minimized, and you are being asked to suppress discomfort for the convenience of others.
The incident with his sister casually entering is especially important. Even though you were clothed, your body registered that as a boundary breach. The fact that it was brushed off is likely reinforcing your fear that this could happen again. Over time, this can quietly erode trust and sexual comfort—not because you’re “overthinking,” but because your nervous system is constantly on alert.
You need to shift the conversation with your husband away from “adjustment” and toward non-negotiable boundaries. This isn’t about arguing logic; it’s about stating a clear emotional and physical limit. You might say something like:
“I cannot feel safe or comfortable being intimate without privacy. This isn’t something I can adjust to. If intimacy continues without a locked door, I will start avoiding it—not out of punishment, but because my body feels unsafe.”
That’s not a threat. That’s honesty.
If the room layout is genuinely impractical, then the solution is not for you to tolerate discomfort, but for the household to change logistics—restricted access at night, fixed timings, or creating a private space. Privacy is a shared responsibility, not a burden placed on one person to endure.
If your husband continues to dismiss this after you clearly express it, that’s a deeper issue than doors. It signals a lack of attunement to your emotional safety, and that deserves serious attention—possibly with a counselor, especially given that this issue has already broken a marriage before.
You are not asking for something unreasonable. You are asking for respect.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1754 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 18, 2025

Relationship
Mam, I know some ways by which i can change my state of mind from lazy to working.. and having pressure/deadline helps to move on. But still I'm get trapped in guilt of actions and don't feel confident that next time i will be able to control myself..( cuz some actions give short pleasure/gratification easily.. but guilts also). And in all those silent, sad, depressed emotional time my Real working time gets wasted.. and feels like I just live in more guilt and saddness..even if it hurts. But don't wanna live like that!! What I do?
Ans: Dear Work,
Focus in any area of Life comes only when you realize WHY you are doing WHAT you are doing in that area.
For eg: If you decide to lose weight and just randomly join the gym without understanding WHY you are in the gym, a few days later, you will drop out. Mind you, that LOSING WEIGHT is not your reason; WHY do you want to lose that weight is the only thing that will keep you focused and motivated.
Hence, if you are giving into short term distractions, then obviously whatever it is that you are doing is not interesting you and so you get easily distracted.
Take one area of your life at a time; drop your goals in paper and mark a strong WHY against each. If it isn't motivating you enough, go back to the Drawing Board and do the exercise until you find that fire in your belly.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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