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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Wasim Question by Wasim on Jun 22, 2024Hindi
Money

Hello Sir, I am NRI 40.7 years old now married with 2 kids & planning to relocate to Mumbai within next 6 months to work there for next 4 years and then retire from work. I have 4 apartments in and around Mumbai market worth Rs. 1.85 Cr(getting rent Rs. 30k each month from 3 apartments). Invested in gold worth Rs. 17lacs, invested in bajaj allianz, Tata AIA, Max life policies and monthly premium paying is Rs. 33K(bajaj started 2 years ago & rest policies started a year ago), PPF has 5K monthly payment & SSY has 1k monthly payment. At age 45, I am expecting to get Rs. 150,000 every month.

Ans: You are planning to relocate to Mumbai and retire in four years. You have a variety of investments and sources of income.

Your portfolio includes:

Four apartments worth Rs. 1.85 Cr, generating Rs. 30k monthly rent from three apartments.

Gold investments worth Rs. 17 lakhs.

Insurance policies from Bajaj Allianz, Tata AIA, and Max Life with a total monthly premium of Rs. 33k.

Contributions to PPF and SSY with Rs. 5k and Rs. 1k monthly respectively.

Your goal is to ensure a stable monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakh upon retirement at age 45. Let’s delve into how you can achieve this.

Evaluating Your Current Assets
Real Estate Investments
You have four apartments valued at Rs. 1.85 Cr. Three of them provide a steady rental income of Rs. 30k per month.

Real estate can provide a stable income, but it also involves maintenance costs, tenant issues, and the risk of property devaluation.

Consider the following:

Are you prepared to handle property management responsibilities?

Will rental income remain stable in the Mumbai market?

Real estate investment is not as liquid as other investments. It may take time to sell a property if you need quick cash.

Gold Investments
You have invested Rs. 17 lakhs in gold, which can be a good hedge against inflation. However, gold prices can be volatile.

Gold doesn't generate regular income like interest or dividends.

Its value can fluctuate based on market conditions.

While gold is a good safety net, relying solely on it for income isn't advisable.

Analyzing Insurance Policies
You are paying Rs. 33k monthly for insurance policies from Bajaj Allianz, Tata AIA, and Max Life.

These policies provide life cover, but their investment component may not be the best.

Consider the following:

Are the returns from these policies meeting your financial goals?

Could you get better returns by investing in other financial instruments?

Since these policies are relatively new, it might be beneficial to surrender them and reinvest in more lucrative options.

Contributions to PPF and SSY
You are contributing Rs. 5k monthly to PPF and Rs. 1k monthly to SSY.

Both of these are safe investments with decent returns and tax benefits.

PPF offers a fixed interest rate and is a long-term investment.

SSY is specifically for your daughter's future and offers attractive interest rates.

These should be part of your retirement planning, but additional investments are needed to meet your Rs. 1.5 lakh monthly income goal.

Exploring Mutual Funds
Categories of Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a great way to diversify your investment and potentially earn higher returns. They come in various categories:

Equity Funds: Invest in stocks and can provide high returns. Suitable for long-term goals.

Debt Funds: Invest in fixed income instruments like bonds. Lower risk and provide regular income.

Hybrid Funds: Combine equity and debt investments. Offer balanced risk and returns.

Advantages of Mutual Funds
Mutual funds offer several advantages:

Diversification: Spreads your investment across various assets, reducing risk.

Professional Management: Managed by experienced fund managers.

Liquidity: Easy to buy and sell units, providing flexibility.

Compounding: Reinvesting earnings can significantly grow your investment over time.

Risk Assessment
While mutual funds have the potential for high returns, they come with risks:

Market Risk: Equity funds are subject to market fluctuations.

Interest Rate Risk: Debt funds can be affected by changes in interest rates.

Credit Risk: The possibility of issuers defaulting on their payments.

It's essential to choose funds that align with your risk tolerance and investment goals.

Power of Compounding
One of the most significant benefits of mutual funds is the power of compounding.

Compounding means earning returns on both your initial investment and the returns that investment has already generated.

For example, if you invest Rs. 10,000 in a mutual fund and it earns 10% annually, after one year, you'll have Rs. 11,000. The next year, you earn 10% on Rs. 11,000, not just your original Rs. 10,000.

Over time, this can significantly increase your wealth. The key is to start early and remain invested for the long term.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
While some investors prefer index funds, actively managed funds have their benefits:

Expert Management: Fund managers actively select stocks, aiming to outperform the market.

Flexibility: Managers can quickly adjust the portfolio in response to market changes.

Potential for Higher Returns: Skilled managers may achieve better returns than passive funds.

However, actively managed funds often have higher fees than index funds. But the potential for higher returns can justify the costs.

Disadvantages of Direct Funds
Direct funds allow you to invest without a middleman, but they come with drawbacks:

Lack of Guidance: You miss out on professional advice and insights.

Time-Consuming: Managing your investments can be time-consuming and complex.

Risk of Mistakes: Without expert guidance, there's a higher risk of making poor investment choices.

Investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you make informed decisions and avoid common pitfalls.

Surrendering Insurance Policies
If you hold investment cum insurance policies, like ULIPs, consider surrendering them.

These policies often have high charges and lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Reinvest the proceeds in diversified mutual funds for potentially higher returns.

Building a Balanced Portfolio
To achieve your retirement goal of Rs. 1.5 lakh per month, consider building a balanced portfolio with the right mix of investments.

Equity Mutual Funds
Investing in equity mutual funds can provide high returns over the long term.

Choose funds with a good track record and consistent performance.

Debt Mutual Funds
Include debt mutual funds for stability and regular income.

These funds are less volatile and can provide a steady stream of income.

Hybrid Mutual Funds
Hybrid funds offer a balance between equity and debt, providing moderate returns with balanced risk.

They can be an excellent addition to your portfolio.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Investing through SIPs can help you build wealth over time.

By investing a fixed amount regularly, you can benefit from rupee cost averaging and the power of compounding.

Reviewing and Adjusting Your Plan
Regularly review your investment plan to ensure it aligns with your goals.

Adjust your portfolio as needed based on market conditions and your financial situation.

Consult with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to get personalized advice and make informed decisions.

Final Insights
You have a diversified investment portfolio, but to achieve your retirement goal, you need to optimize it further.

Consider the following steps:

Reevaluate your real estate investments and rental income potential.

Assess the returns on your gold investments.

Review and possibly surrender your insurance policies for better investment options.

Continue contributing to PPF and SSY for long-term benefits.

Diversify into mutual funds, focusing on equity, debt, and hybrid funds.

Leverage the power of compounding through SIPs.

Regularly review your plan and adjust as needed with the help of a CFP.

This comprehensive approach will help you achieve a stable monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakh and secure your financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2023Hindi
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I am 59 and a logistics consultant. I earn a rental income of 2.1 L per month from 3 loan free flats in Mumbai valuing 8.50 cr. I stay in a flat of value 7.5 cr which has a loan of 2.5 cr and the emi amount is 3.42 L. The loan should get cleared in next 7 years. I earn 3.15 L as my monthly remuneration. I have a recurring deposit of 75k for 5 years and a few LIC policies for which the premium per annum is 1.10 L. Health insurance coverage for 35 L and the premium goes out 25k. Apart from this I have a FD of 15 L. I don't have any SIP and investment in MF etc.Because of the heavy emi presently I am unable to save much money. Now, I seek your advice, so that I can have a secured future with a decent income to maintain the requirements.
Ans: Given your current financial situation and objectives, here's a tailored plan to help you secure your future income and meet your requirements:
Review Real Estate Portfolio: Consider diversifying.

Optimize Loan Repayment: Maintain timely payments.

Maximize Savings and Investments: Start SIPs in mutual funds.

Utilize Recurring Deposit and Fixed Deposit: Continue RD and FD for liquidity.

Evaluate Insurance Coverage: Ensure coverage meets needs.

Create a Retirement Plan: Estimate corpus requirements.

Consult a Financial Advisor: Seek professional guidance.

Monitor and Adjust Regularly: Stay disciplined with savings and investments.

By implementing these steps and seeking professional advice, you can work towards securing a comfortable and financially stable future while maintaining your lifestyle requirements.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 11, 2024

Money
Hello Sir, I am NRI 40.7 years old now married with 2 kids & planning to relocate to Mumbai within next 6 months to work there for next 4 years and then retire from work. I have 4 apartments in and around Mumbai market worth Rs. 1.85 Cr(getting rent Rs. 30k each month from 3 apartments). Invested in gold worth Rs. 17lacs, invested in bajaj allianz, Tata AIA, Max life policies and monthly premium paying is Rs. 33K(bajaj started 2 years ago & rest policies started a year ago), PPF has 5K monthly payment & SSY has 1k monthly payment. At age 45, I am expecting to get Rs. 150,000 every month.
Ans: You're doing a fantastic job managing your finances and planning for the future. Moving back to Mumbai and preparing for early retirement at 45 is a significant step. Let's explore how to optimize your financial strategy for a secure and comfortable retirement.

Current Financial Overview
You own four apartments in Mumbai, generating Rs 30,000 in monthly rent from three of them. Your total real estate value is Rs 1.85 crore. You've invested in gold worth Rs 17 lakhs and are paying Rs 33,000 monthly premiums for Bajaj Allianz, Tata AIA, and Max Life policies. Additionally, you invest Rs 5,000 monthly in PPF and Rs 1,000 in SSY. Your target is to receive Rs 1,50,000 monthly post-retirement.

Mutual Funds: A Key Investment Tool
Mutual funds are excellent for wealth growth. They offer diversification, professional management, and potential for good returns.

Categories of Mutual Funds:

Equity Funds: Invest in stocks for higher returns but come with higher risks.

Debt Funds: Invest in fixed-income securities, safer but lower returns.

Hybrid Funds: Mix of stocks and bonds, balancing risk and return.

ELSS Funds: Equity funds with tax benefits under Section 80C.

Advantages of Mutual Funds:

Diversification: Reduces risk by spreading investments across various securities.

Professional Management: Experts handle your investments.

Liquidity: Easy to buy and sell.

Tax Benefits: Some funds offer tax deductions.

Risks of Mutual Funds:

Market Risk: Investment values can fluctuate.

Interest Rate Risk: Affects debt funds when interest rates change.

Credit Risk: Risk of bond issuers defaulting.

Evaluating Your Insurance Policies
You're paying Rs 33,000 monthly for insurance policies from Bajaj Allianz, Tata AIA, and Max Life. While insurance is crucial, it's essential to ensure these policies align with your financial goals.

Disadvantages of Certain Insurance Policies:

High Costs: Combined investment and insurance policies can be costly.

Lower Returns: Often, these policies offer lower returns compared to mutual funds.

Complex Terms: They can be complicated and harder to understand.

Recommendation:

Consider reviewing these policies with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). If they don't meet your needs, you might want to surrender them and reinvest in mutual funds, which typically offer better returns and flexibility.

Power of Compounding
Compounding is when your earnings generate more earnings. This process can significantly boost your wealth over time. By investing regularly, you can harness the power of compounding to meet your financial goals.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Disadvantages of Direct Funds:

Lack of Guidance: Missing out on professional advice from a CFP.

Time-Consuming: Requires constant monitoring.

Risk of Mistakes: Higher chance of poor investment decisions without expert guidance.

Benefits of Regular Funds:

Professional Advice: Access to expert financial planners.

Convenience: Less time and effort required from you.

Better Risk Management: Expert guidance helps manage risks effectively.

Planning for Financial Goals
Monthly Budget and Expense Management:

Your current monthly rent from three apartments is Rs 30,000. This provides a steady income stream. However, you need to plan for additional income sources to reach your goal of Rs 1,50,000 monthly post-retirement.

Emergency Fund: Build an emergency fund to cover at least six months of expenses. This ensures you have a financial cushion during unexpected situations.

Expense Tracking: Track your expenses diligently. Identify areas where you can cut costs and save more.

Investment Strategy:

Diversification is key. Your investments in real estate, gold, and insurance are a good start, but adding mutual funds will enhance your portfolio.

Increase SIPs: Consider increasing your SIPs. Even small increments can have a significant impact over time.

Diversify Investments: Add a mix of equity, debt, and hybrid funds to your portfolio. This helps balance risk and return.

Regular Review: Regularly review your portfolio with a CFP to ensure it aligns with your goals and market conditions.

Retirement Planning
Target Corpus:

You aim to get Rs 1,50,000 per month after retiring at age 45. This requires careful planning and disciplined investing.

Retirement Corpus Calculation: Work with a CFP to calculate the exact corpus needed to generate Rs 1,50,000 monthly. This will consider inflation and expected returns.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Post-retirement, you can set up an SWP from your mutual funds to get a regular income. This ensures a steady cash flow while keeping your investments growing.

Health Insurance:

Ensure you have adequate health insurance. Medical expenses can be a significant burden post-retirement, and having good health coverage can protect your savings.

Addressing Income Irregularity
Managing Irregular Income:

Since your rental income is steady but other incomes may vary, financial discipline is crucial.

Save During Good Months: During months when your income is higher, save a higher percentage to cover lean periods.

Flexible Investments: Consider investing in liquid funds or short-term debt funds. These offer better returns than a savings account and can be easily liquidated when needed.

Budget Adjustments: Adjust your budget during lean months. Focus on essential expenses and cut back on non-essentials.

Side Income:

Consider exploring ways to generate a side income. This could be through freelancing, part-time work, or monetizing a hobby. A side income can help bridge the gap during months when your salary is delayed.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Real Estate:

Avoid investing more in real estate for now. It’s illiquid and involves high transaction costs, which can strain your finances.

High-Risk Investments:

Avoid high-risk investments like direct stocks or volatile schemes. Stick to diversified mutual funds for steady growth.

Debt Management:

Ensure you have minimal debt. High-interest debts can erode your savings and impact your financial stability.

Final Insights
You've made commendable progress with your investments and managing expenses. Continue to focus on disciplined investing, diversify your portfolio, and consult with a CFP regularly. Your goal of achieving Rs 1,50,000 monthly post-retirement is achievable with careful planning and consistent efforts. Stay proactive and adapt your strategy as needed to navigate your income irregularities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2024

Money
I retrieved my message, which is as below: Hello Sir, I am NRI 40.7 years old now married with 2 kids & planning to relocate to Mumbai within next 6 months to work there for next 4 years and then retire from work. I have 4 apartments in and around Mumbai market worth Rs. 1.85 Cr(getting rent Rs. 30k each month from 3 apartments). Invested in gold worth Rs. 17lacs, invested in bajaj allianz, Tata AIA, Max life policies and monthly premium paying is Rs. 33K(bajaj started 2 years ago & rest policies started a year ago), PPF has 5K monthly payment & SSY has 1k monthly payment. At age 45, I am expecting to get Rs. 150,000 every month.
Ans: Relocating to Mumbai and planning for retirement at age 45 is a significant life decision. Here's a comprehensive financial plan to help you achieve your goals.

Assessing Your Current Financial Position
Firstly, it's great that you have diverse investments and assets. Your four apartments around Mumbai, valued at Rs. 1.85 Cr, generate Rs. 30,000 monthly rent from three of them. This rental income is a steady source of cash flow. Additionally, you have invested Rs. 17 lakhs in gold, which is a good hedge against inflation.

You are also committed to insurance policies, paying Rs. 33,000 monthly premiums across Bajaj Allianz, Tata AIA, and Max Life. Starting PPF and SSY contributions is a prudent step for your long-term goals. PPF has a Rs. 5,000 monthly contribution, while SSY has a Rs. 1,000 monthly contribution. These investments indicate a disciplined approach to saving for the future.

Relocating to Mumbai: Financial Implications
Moving to Mumbai within the next six months will impact your finances. Mumbai's cost of living is higher compared to many other cities. However, with careful planning, you can manage this transition smoothly. Since you plan to work in Mumbai for four years before retiring, let's ensure your finances are in order.

Evaluating Your Income and Expenses
Your rental income is Rs. 30,000 monthly, which will help cover some of your expenses. You mentioned that you expect Rs. 1,50,000 monthly income at age 45. To achieve this, a robust investment strategy is crucial.

Optimizing Your Investment Portfolio
1. Mutual Funds Over Direct Funds:

While direct funds have lower expenses, regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offer better guidance and support. CFPs can help you choose the best-performing funds tailored to your goals. Actively managed funds often outperform passive index funds due to professional management. Direct funds lack this personalized advice, which can be crucial for optimizing your portfolio's performance.

2. Gold Investments:

Gold worth Rs. 17 lakhs is a solid investment. However, diversifying into other asset classes can provide better returns. While gold is a safe haven, equities and mutual funds can offer higher growth potential. A balanced portfolio that includes equities, debt instruments, and gold can help you achieve a more stable and higher return over time.

3. Insurance Policies:

Your insurance premiums are significant. Ensure these policies provide adequate coverage and benefits. Review these policies with a CFP to check if they align with your financial goals. If not, consider switching to term insurance, which offers higher coverage at lower premiums. Term insurance provides the necessary financial security for your family without the high costs associated with investment-linked insurance policies.

Strategic Financial Planning for Retirement
1. Creating a Retirement Corpus:

To receive Rs. 1,50,000 monthly at age 45, you need a substantial retirement corpus. Continue investing in PPF and SSY, but also increase contributions to equity mutual funds. Equities offer higher returns over the long term, essential for building a sizable retirement corpus. By leveraging the power of compounding, your investments can grow significantly over the next few years.

2. Emergency Fund:

Maintain an emergency fund of at least six months' expenses. This fund will provide a financial cushion in case of unforeseen events. Invest this in liquid funds or high-interest savings accounts for easy access. A robust emergency fund ensures you do not have to dip into your long-term investments during emergencies.

3. Health Insurance:

Ensure you and your family have comprehensive health insurance. Medical emergencies can deplete your savings, so adequate coverage is crucial. Review your health insurance policies regularly to ensure they meet your family's needs, considering factors like critical illness cover and cashless hospital facilities.

Education and Marriage Planning for Children
1. Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY):

Your monthly investment of Rs. 1,000 in SSY for your daughter is wise. This will help cover her higher education and marriage expenses. Consider increasing this contribution if possible. The SSY offers attractive interest rates and tax benefits, making it a suitable investment for your daughter's future needs.

2. Public Provident Fund (PPF):

Your Rs. 5,000 monthly PPF contribution is beneficial for long-term goals. PPF offers tax benefits and compound interest, making it a secure investment option. Regular contributions to PPF can significantly enhance your retirement corpus due to its long-term compounding benefits.

3. Additional Investments:

For your children’s future, consider investing in child-specific mutual funds or Unit-Linked Insurance Plans (ULIPs) with good track records. These investments grow over time, ensuring funds for their education and marriage. Child-specific mutual funds are designed to align with the educational milestones and marriage expenses, offering targeted growth.

Managing Real Estate Assets
Real estate is a significant part of your portfolio. While it's a stable investment, it may not provide the highest returns compared to other asset classes. Avoid further real estate investments and focus on more liquid assets like mutual funds and equities. Liquid assets are easier to manage and can be rebalanced to adapt to changing market conditions.

Retirement Income Strategy
1. Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP):

Consider setting up an SWP from your mutual funds to generate a steady income during retirement. This strategy ensures regular cash flow while keeping your principal amount invested. SWPs offer the flexibility to withdraw a fixed amount periodically, providing a stable income stream without depleting your investment.

2. Equity Mutual Funds:

Invest in diversified equity mutual funds for growth. Over time, equities can provide substantial returns, essential for your retirement corpus. Choose funds with a strong track record and consistent performance to maximize returns. Diversified equity funds spread the risk across various sectors, reducing the impact of market volatility.

3. Debt Funds and Fixed Deposits:

Allocate a portion of your investments to debt funds and fixed deposits for stability. These provide lower returns but reduce risk, balancing your overall portfolio. Debt funds offer better returns than traditional fixed deposits and are more tax-efficient.

Reviewing and Adjusting Your Plan
1. Annual Reviews:

Regularly review your financial plan with a CFP. Annual reviews help track progress and make necessary adjustments based on changing market conditions and personal circumstances. Reviewing your plan ensures it remains aligned with your goals and adapts to any changes in your financial situation.

2. Tax Planning:

Optimize tax planning to maximize returns. Utilize tax-saving instruments under Section 80C, such as PPF, ELSS, and insurance premiums, to reduce taxable income. Effective tax planning can significantly enhance your net returns and help you achieve your financial goals faster.

3. Estate Planning:

Create a will and consider estate planning to ensure a smooth transfer of assets to your heirs. This step prevents legal complications and ensures your family’s financial security. Estate planning includes setting up trusts and nominations to safeguard your family's future.

Building a Robust Investment Strategy
1. Diversification:

Diversify your investments across asset classes like equities, debt, and gold. This reduces risk and enhances returns. A well-diversified portfolio can weather market volatility better and provide more stable returns.

2. Regular Investments:

Continue with regular investments through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs). This instills financial discipline and leverages rupee cost averaging, reducing the impact of market fluctuations. Regular investments also help in building a substantial corpus over time.

3. Professional Guidance:

Work closely with a CFP to tailor your investment strategy. Their expertise can help you navigate market complexities and achieve your financial objectives. A CFP can provide personalized advice based on your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals.

Preparing for Financial Independence
1. Financial Independence Ratio:

Calculate your financial independence ratio to understand how close you are to achieving your retirement goals. This ratio compares your passive income to your expenses. A higher ratio indicates greater financial security and readiness for retirement.

2. Passive Income Streams:

Develop multiple passive income streams such as dividends, rental income, and interest from fixed deposits. This reduces dependence on a single source of income and provides financial stability. Diversified income streams can ensure a comfortable retirement lifestyle.

3. Expense Management:

Monitor and control your expenses to ensure they align with your income. Avoid unnecessary expenditures and focus on saving and investing. Effective expense management helps in maintaining a balanced budget and achieving financial goals.

Final Insights
Your financial journey is well on track with diversified investments and disciplined savings. By focusing on equities and mutual funds, you can achieve higher returns. Regular reviews with a CFP will ensure your plan adapts to changing circumstances. Avoid further real estate investments and prioritize liquidity and growth. Your goal of retiring at 45 with Rs. 1,50,000 monthly income is achievable with strategic planning and disciplined execution.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I am working in sales and marketing Overseas West African market within the pharmaceuticals industry. I have my own home of 1500 sq feet gross value in Nagpur 75 lac . I have did mutual fund investment of 4 lac in December 2023 ( one time investment ) , regular SIP 30,000 per month from last 1 years and more planning to invest 30,0000 per month from July 2024 .I had taken TATA AIA Ulip plan 1.5 Lac per annum for 5 years (dec 2022 . finished 2 years ) . Present FD @ 7% 10 lac with HDFC Bank. Around purchase 14 lac in Gold bars . Planning to take the Term plan for age 85 years premium annual 1.75Lac pee annum for next 10 years for risk cover 2 lac . Monthly LIC policy going on 80,000 per annum .
Ans: I appreciate your trust in seeking financial advice. Let’s dive into your financial situation and plan a robust strategy for your future.

Your Current Financial Landscape
You have a well-diversified portfolio with investments in mutual funds, fixed deposits, gold, and insurance. Here’s an overview:

Home: You own a home in Nagpur worth Rs. 75 lakhs.

Mutual Funds: You have invested Rs. 4 lakhs in mutual funds as a lump sum in December 2023. Additionally, you have been doing SIPs of Rs. 30,000 per month for the last year.

Fixed Deposits: You have Rs. 10 lakhs in fixed deposits with HDFC Bank at a 7% interest rate.

Gold: You have invested Rs. 14 lakhs in gold bars.

Insurance: You have a TATA AIA ULIP plan with an annual premium of Rs. 1.5 lakhs, currently in its second year of a five-year term. Additionally, you have a monthly LIC policy with an annual premium of Rs. 80,000.

Future Plans: You plan to increase your SIP to Rs. 30,000 per month from July 2024. You are also considering a term plan with an annual premium of Rs. 1.75 lakhs for the next 10 years, offering a cover of Rs. 2 crores until the age of 85.

Evaluating Your Investments
Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are a fantastic way to grow your wealth over the long term. They offer the benefits of professional management, diversification, and the power of compounding.

Advantages of Mutual Funds:
Diversification: Mutual funds invest in a variety of securities, reducing risk.

Professional Management: Experienced fund managers make investment decisions on your behalf.

Liquidity: You can easily redeem your investments when needed.

Flexibility: With options like SIPs, you can start with a small amount and increase it over time.

Power of Compounding
Compounding is the process where the returns on your investments generate their returns. The longer you stay invested, the more your money grows. This is why starting early and staying consistent with your SIPs is crucial.

Actively Managed Funds vs. Index Funds
Actively Managed Funds:

Fund managers actively select stocks to beat the market.
Potential for higher returns than index funds.
Regular reviews and adjustments based on market conditions.
Index Funds:

Passively track a specific index like Nifty or Sensex.
Lower expense ratios, but often lower returns compared to actively managed funds.
Lack of flexibility to adjust to market changes.
In your case, actively managed funds might offer better growth potential.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Regular Funds:

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP).
CFP provides personalized advice and ongoing support.
Slightly higher expense ratio due to advisory fees.
Direct Funds:

Invest directly with the fund house, bypassing a CFP.
Lower expense ratio but lack of professional guidance.
Suitable for experienced investors with time to manage their portfolios.
Given your busy career, regular funds through a CFP could provide valuable support and expertise.

Fixed Deposits
Fixed deposits are safe and offer guaranteed returns. However, their growth potential is limited compared to mutual funds. Given the current inflation rates, FD returns might not keep pace with the rising cost of living.

Gold Investment
Gold is a good hedge against inflation and market volatility. However, it doesn’t generate regular income. It’s essential to balance your portfolio with growth-oriented investments like mutual funds.

Insurance Plans
ULIP Plan
ULIPs combine investment and insurance. They have higher costs due to insurance charges and fund management fees. You have already completed two years out of five. It might be beneficial to surrender the plan after the lock-in period and reinvest in mutual funds for better returns.

Term Plan
A term plan is essential for risk cover. Ensure the cover amount aligns with your family’s financial needs. A Rs. 2 crore cover until age 85 is a prudent decision, providing long-term security.

LIC Policy
LIC policies offer traditional savings with insurance. However, the returns are generally lower than mutual funds. It might be worth reviewing this policy and considering surrendering it to reinvest in more lucrative options.

Strategic Recommendations
Enhance Your SIPs
You are planning to increase your SIP to Rs. 30,000 per month. This is a smart move. SIPs instill financial discipline and benefit from rupee cost averaging. Here’s how to optimize your SIPs:

Diversify: Invest in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and sectoral funds.
Review: Regularly review your portfolio with your CFP.
Increase: Gradually increase your SIP amount as your income grows.
Rebalance Your Portfolio
Mutual Funds: Increase your allocation to equity mutual funds for higher growth.
Fixed Deposits: Consider reducing your FD holdings and reallocating to mutual funds.
Gold: Maintain your gold investments but avoid further additions.
Insurance: Focus on pure term insurance for risk cover.
Long-Term Wealth Creation
Retirement Planning
Start planning for retirement early. Aim to build a corpus that supports your lifestyle and healthcare needs. Here’s how:

EPF and PPF: Maximize contributions to these tax-free retirement schemes.
NPS: Consider the National Pension System for additional retirement savings.
Equity Funds: Allocate a significant portion to equity funds for long-term growth.
Children's Education
If you have children, plan for their higher education expenses. SIPs in mutual funds can help build a substantial corpus over time.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses. This provides financial stability during unforeseen events. Your fixed deposits can serve this purpose.

Tax Planning
Optimize your investments for tax efficiency. Utilize tax-saving instruments like ELSS, PPF, and NPS. Seek guidance from a tax advisor to minimize tax liability.

Risk Management
Adequate Insurance
Ensure you have adequate health insurance for your family. Consider critical illness and accident covers. Your term insurance plan should provide sufficient risk cover.

Asset Allocation
Maintain a balanced asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and financial goals. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to align with changing market conditions.

Regular Review
Regularly review your financial plan with your CFP. Adjust your investments based on your life goals, market conditions, and financial situation.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Emotional Decisions: Avoid making investment decisions based on market emotions.
Over-diversification: Don’t invest in too many funds; it dilutes returns.
Ignoring Inflation: Ensure your investments grow faster than inflation.
Final Insights
You have a solid foundation with your current investments. Enhancing your SIPs, optimizing your portfolio, and strategic planning will ensure robust growth and financial security. Keep an eye on market trends, stay disciplined, and regularly review your plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2024Hindi
Money
hello gurus, need advise on next step: I have 3 SIPs: Two 5k each and one 1.5k (total sum atm is 4 lakh) ppf ~ 11 lakh stocks worth ~ 3.4 lakh Currently i have no loans i am unmarried Dont own any real estate or vehicle. monthly expenses: 40-50k due to frequent travels salary in hand: 1.2 lakh i am having problem in saving apart from what has been mention above, i have a goal for next 3-4 month to create emergency fund. Please what should be done apart from my goal?
Ans: You have a stable financial base with SIPs, PPF, and stocks. Your goal to create an emergency fund in 3-4 months is practical and timely. However, saving more requires optimising expenses, investments, and setting clear financial priorities.

Let us assess your current finances and provide a detailed plan for your next steps.

Current Financial Overview
SIP Investments

Three SIPs totaling Rs. 11,500 per month with a current value of Rs. 4 lakhs.
SIPs provide disciplined equity investments with long-term growth potential.
PPF Investment

Rs. 11 lakhs in PPF is a secure and tax-efficient investment.
Continue annual contributions to maximise benefits.
Stocks

Rs. 3.4 lakhs in stocks is a good exposure to direct equities.
Ensure your portfolio has diversified and fundamentally strong stocks.
No Liabilities

You are debt-free, giving flexibility in managing your finances.
Monthly Expenses

Monthly expenses of Rs. 40,000-50,000 are reasonable given your travel needs.
Savings are limited after covering expenses and investments.
Income

Rs. 1.2 lakh in-hand salary provides scope to increase savings.
Building an Emergency Fund
Set a Target Amount

Aim for 6-12 months of expenses in your emergency fund.
Based on Rs. 50,000 monthly expenses, target Rs. 3-6 lakhs.
Choose the Right Investment Vehicle

Use liquid mutual funds for better returns and accessibility.
Alternatively, consider a high-yield savings account.
Allocate Monthly Savings

Save Rs. 40,000-50,000 monthly over the next 4 months.
Redirect discretionary travel expenses towards this goal temporarily.
Maintain Liquidity

Avoid locking funds in long-term investments for the emergency fund.
Optimising Your Savings
Review Travel and Discretionary Spending

Track travel expenses and identify areas for reduction.
Allocate savings from reduced discretionary spending to investments.
Set a Monthly Savings Target

Aim to save at least 30% of your monthly income (Rs. 36,000).
Automate savings to ensure consistency.
Increase SIP Contributions

After building your emergency fund, increase SIPs by 10%-15%.
Diversify into actively managed funds for consistent performance.
Leverage Salary Hikes

Allocate future salary increments to savings and investments.
Enhancing Your Investment Strategy
Diversify Equity Portfolio

Ensure your SIP portfolio includes large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds.
Avoid index funds; actively managed funds outperform in volatile markets.
Add Debt Instruments

Invest in corporate bonds or short-term debt funds for stability.
This balances your equity-heavy portfolio.
Continue PPF Contributions

Maximise annual contributions (Rs. 1.5 lakhs) to grow the corpus tax-free.
Review Direct Stocks

Diversify your stock portfolio to minimise risk.
Avoid high-risk or speculative stocks.
Planning for Future Goals
Marriage and Vehicle Purchase

Start a goal-specific SIP for future milestones like marriage or buying a vehicle.
Allocate Rs. 10,000 monthly for these goals.
Retirement Planning

Begin planning for retirement through equity and balanced funds.
Target a corpus that supports post-retirement expenses adjusted for inflation.
Tax Efficiency

Plan investments to optimise tax savings under Section 80C and 80D.
Insurance Coverage
Health Insurance

Ensure adequate health insurance coverage beyond employer-provided plans.
A policy of Rs. 5-10 lakhs is essential for unforeseen medical expenses.
Life Insurance

Term insurance is unnecessary if you have no dependents currently.
Consider purchasing a term plan when you have dependents in the future.
Key Milestones
Emergency Fund

Achieve a Rs. 3-6 lakhs emergency fund in 3-4 months.
Post-Emergency Fund Investments

Redirect surplus income to increase SIP contributions.
Long-Term Planning

Regularly review and rebalance your investment portfolio annually.
Final Insights
Building an emergency fund should be your immediate priority. Post that, focus on optimising savings, diversifying investments, and planning for long-term goals like retirement. With discipline and a well-structured plan, you can achieve financial independence while enjoying your current lifestyle.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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Money
Hello Sir, Following your responses to various queries and liked the way you have provided detailed response. I wanted to check with you on how ideal or effective my investment could help me retire at 50 or 52. I’m 45 surviving with wife (36) and 3 kids (9 yrs, 7 yrs and 1 year). Currently I have about 50 lakhs invested various equity mutual funds (High Risk Category funds) and about 60 lakhs in EPF Own house, no rental income, no Home Loan, Car Loan of 35,000 per month for next 15 months I’m investing 1 Lakh per month on equity mutual funds and plan to increase 10 to 15% year on year. Based on my current monthly expenses (1,40,000) per month. Would I able to reach a corpus which could help me with monthly payout of 1.4 lakhs (inflation adjusted withdrawal) from my 50 or 52? I would want to withdraw 7% per year of the corpus and assuming ROI at 12 to 14% Education, Marriage expenses for 3 kids are primary expenses Would 2.5 crore corpus be sufficient to retire at 50 or 52? Please provide your guidance
Ans: Your financial plan reflects discipline and foresight. Retiring at 50 or 52 while providing for your family is achievable with a strategic approach. Let us evaluate your current investments, income, and goals to provide actionable insights.

Current Financial Status
Equity Mutual Funds
Rs. 50 lakhs invested in high-risk equity mutual funds offers strong growth potential. However, diversifying into moderately aggressive funds could reduce risk.

EPF Savings
Rs. 60 lakhs in EPF is a stable and secure component of your retirement corpus.

Ongoing Loan
A car loan of Rs. 35,000 per month for the next 15 months reduces cash flow temporarily. After repayment, redirect this amount to investments.

Monthly SIPs
You invest Rs. 1 lakh per month in equity mutual funds with a plan to increase it by 10%-15% yearly. This ensures a growing corpus.

Expenses
Your monthly expense of Rs. 1.4 lakhs (current value) is a key driver for corpus estimation.

Corpus Required for Retirement
Expense Inflation
Assuming inflation at 6%-7%, your Rs. 1.4 lakhs expense may double in 12-15 years.

Corpus Withdrawal Rate
A 7% annual withdrawal rate is high. A rate of 4%-5% is more sustainable.

ROI Assumptions
Targeting a 12%-14% return from equity funds post-retirement is optimistic. A blended portfolio with equity and debt may yield around 9%-10%.

Estimated Corpus
Rs. 2.5 crores might not be sufficient to meet your retirement goals and children’s future needs. A corpus of Rs. 4.5-5 crores would be more realistic.

Recommendations to Achieve Your Goals
1. Optimise Mutual Fund Portfolio
Diversify into large-cap and balanced advantage funds for moderate growth and stability.

Allocate 60%-70% to equity and 30%-40% to debt as you near retirement.

Continue investing in actively managed funds through SIPs. Avoid index funds due to lack of active management and lower adaptability.

2. Increase SIP Contributions
Increase SIPs by 15%-20% annually instead of 10%-15%.

Redirect Rs. 35,000 (post-loan repayment) to mutual funds or PPF.

3. Children’s Education and Marriage Planning
Set aside a separate corpus for your children’s education and marriage.

Use a combination of equity mutual funds and Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (for daughters).

Estimate and adjust based on inflation.

4. Debt and Contingency Planning
Allocate Rs. 20 lakhs to debt funds or fixed deposits for emergencies.

Keep 6-12 months of expenses in a liquid fund for contingencies.

5. Tax Efficiency
Plan withdrawals strategically to minimise taxes.

Long-term equity fund gains over Rs. 1.25 lakhs are taxed at 12.5%.

EPF withdrawals are tax-free after five years of continuous service.

6. Post-Retirement Investments
Gradually shift to hybrid funds or dividend-yielding funds post-retirement.

Avoid high-risk equity funds after age 50.

7. Health Insurance
Ensure you and your family have adequate health coverage.

This prevents dipping into your retirement corpus for medical expenses.

Key Milestones
At Age 47 (Post Loan)
Redirect Rs. 35,000 monthly to equity funds.

Aim for Rs. 2 crore corpus by 47 through increased SIPs and returns.

At Age 50
Evaluate corpus status and adjust allocations to reduce risk.

Begin transitioning equity-heavy portfolio to balanced or hybrid funds.

Post Retirement
Maintain a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) for monthly income.

Monitor expenses and investment performance annually.

Final Insights
A corpus of Rs. 2.5 crores is insufficient for your goals. Increase SIPs, diversify investments, and plan for children’s education separately. With disciplined savings and investment, you can comfortably retire at 50 or 52.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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Money
I want to invest 10lakhs for my kids education(3months old right now) and withdraw school fee from the returns. I will try not to use this money for any other purpose. My plan is to invest this amount in liquid fund and start a STP to in Nifty 50 index fund(50%), midcap Momentum fund(25%), Small cap momentum fund(25%). I want to keep this money only for my kids education purpose only. please let me know whether this is good idea or not. if it is good idea, please suggest fund allocation is correct or not.
Ans: Your plan to invest Rs. 10 lakhs exclusively for your child’s education shows foresight and commitment. Let us assess your approach and suggest refinements for better alignment with your goals.

Assessment of Your Current Plan
Liquid Fund for STP
Using a liquid fund for the initial investment is prudent. It provides stability and ensures systematic allocation.

Allocation to Index Fund (50%)
An index fund like Nifty 50 has lower costs but lacks active management. Actively managed large-cap funds may deliver better returns during market fluctuations.

Midcap and Small Cap Momentum Funds (25% Each)
Momentum funds can be volatile and require careful monitoring. This allocation might expose your portfolio to higher risk. A balanced mix of midcap and small-cap funds is essential to manage volatility.

Education-Only Approach
Keeping this fund solely for your child’s education is wise. It ensures you stay focused on the goal.

Suggestions for Fund Allocation
Equity Mutual Funds for Growth
Allocate 40%-50% to actively managed large-cap funds. These funds provide stability and reasonable growth.

Midcap Funds for Higher Returns
Allocate 25% to midcap funds. These funds offer a balance between risk and growth.

Small-Cap Funds for Long-Term Growth
Allocate 15%-20% to small-cap funds. Small caps perform well over 7-10 years but are riskier.

Debt Funds for Stability
Allocate 10%-15% to a hybrid or debt fund. This ensures liquidity and lower portfolio risk.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds
Outperformance During Volatile Markets
Actively managed funds can outperform during downturns. They protect your investment from large market corrections.

Professional Management
Expert fund managers adjust portfolios based on market conditions. This enhances returns over time.

Customisation for Goals
Actively managed funds align better with specific financial goals like education.

Taxation Awareness
Gains from equity funds above Rs. 1.25 lakhs are taxed at 12.5%. Withdrawals should be planned to reduce tax liability.

Tax Implications
Liquid Fund Withdrawals
Interest from liquid funds is taxed per your slab rate. Limit unnecessary withdrawals to save on taxes.

Equity Fund Gains
Long-term capital gains over Rs. 1.25 lakhs are taxed at 12.5%. Avoid frequent redemptions.

Debt Fund Withdrawals
Debt funds are taxed per your income slab for short-term gains. Withdraw selectively to manage taxes effectively.

Regular Monitoring
Track Fund Performance
Review fund performance every six months. Replace underperforming funds if needed.

Adjust Allocations
Rebalance your portfolio annually. Adjust allocations to align with market changes.

Keep the Goal in Mind
Ensure all actions align with the purpose of funding your child’s education.

Emergency Provisions
Emergency Fund
Do not compromise your emergency fund for this investment. Ensure Rs. 3-6 lakhs are set aside.

Health Insurance
Ensure your health cover is adequate. This prevents dipping into your child’s education fund for medical needs.

Final Insights
Your commitment to securing your child’s education is admirable. Refining your plan with actively managed funds can improve returns and manage risks effectively. Regular reviews and disciplined investing will help you achieve your goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7296 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, I am 50 years old and planning to retire by 2026. I have 76 lakhs in PPF, 40 lakhs in FD, 52 lakhs in NSC, 6.5 lakhs in LIC, 60 lakhs in MF, 25 lakhs in Post Office MIS, 26 lakhs in EPF. Please advise how to generate 1.5 lakhs /month for the next 30 years? Currently My monthly expense is 70k, stay in own house with no loan/liabilities. Apart from my monthly expenses, I need to keep substantial amount for my son's study & marriage in future.
Ans: Your financial discipline is impressive, and you have a strong portfolio. To generate Rs. 1.5 lakhs monthly for 30 years while considering your goals, here’s a comprehensive approach:

Asset Allocation and Risk Assessment
PPF (Rs. 76 lakhs)
PPF is a low-risk, tax-free option. It offers stability and can be used for long-term needs.

FD (Rs. 40 lakhs)
FDs provide safety but lower post-tax returns. Consider partially shifting to higher-yielding options.

NSC (Rs. 52 lakhs)
NSC is risk-free and secure. Use it strategically for medium-term needs.

LIC (Rs. 6.5 lakhs)
Traditional LIC policies have lower returns. Evaluate surrender value and reinvest in mutual funds.

Mutual Funds (Rs. 60 lakhs)
This portfolio can generate higher returns but comes with moderate risk.

Post Office MIS (Rs. 25 lakhs)
Offers steady monthly income. Retain as part of your fixed-income allocation.

EPF (Rs. 26 lakhs)
EPF provides tax-free growth. Use this for long-term stability.

Monthly Income Strategy
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) from Mutual Funds
Allocate Rs. 40 lakhs to equity mutual funds. Use SWP for monthly income. This can balance growth and cash flow.

Post Office MIS
Utilize MIS for a stable Rs. 15,000-20,000 monthly income.

Interest from FDs and NSCs
Keep a portion of FDs and NSCs for regular interest payouts.

PPF and EPF Maturity
Use PPF and EPF for long-term monthly withdrawals. This ensures stability in later years.

Allocating Funds for Future Goals
Son’s Education
Set aside Rs. 50 lakhs in hybrid mutual funds. This will grow and meet educational expenses in 5-7 years.

Son’s Marriage
Allocate Rs. 30 lakhs in balanced advantage funds. These funds offer moderate growth with lower risk.

Managing Taxes
Equity Mutual Funds
Long-term gains over Rs. 1.25 lakhs are taxed at 12.5%. Plan withdrawals to minimize taxes.

Debt Mutual Funds
Gains are taxed as per your slab. Choose funds with efficient tax management.

PPF and EPF
Both are tax-free. They are ideal for withdrawals in later stages of retirement.

LIC
If surrendering, evaluate tax implications before reinvesting.

Inflation Protection
Equity Allocation
Allocate 40%-50% of your portfolio to equity. It combats inflation and grows wealth.

Review Regularly
Adjust your portfolio every year. Ensure it meets inflation-adjusted goals.

Emergency and Health Provisions
Emergency Fund
Keep Rs. 10 lakhs as a liquid fund for emergencies. This ensures quick access when needed.

Health Insurance
Review your health insurance. Ensure it covers major illnesses and inflation-adjusted medical costs.

Steps for LIC Policy
Assess the surrender value of your LIC policy.
Reinvest the amount in a diversified mutual fund portfolio.
This will generate higher returns for long-term needs.
Other Recommendations
Avoid Real Estate
Real estate is illiquid and unsuitable for retirement income. Focus on financial assets instead.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner
A CFP can help you optimize your portfolio and align with your goals.

Finally
Your portfolio is strong, but diversification is key. Ensure a balance between risk and returns. Plan withdrawals systematically to sustain income for 30 years. Regularly review your plan with a Certified Financial Planner.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1406 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Sir/Madam. I am 42 years old, married with two children. I live with my single mother, who is 74 years old, in her house. My brother, who is 48 years old, lives separately with his family about 10 kilometers away. Whenever my mother is hospitalized, sick, or in need of any support, my brother and sister-in-law neither assist us financially nor with their physical presence. They provide numerous excuses for not helping. Only after much family persuasion does my brother agree to help. My wife and I are the only ones who support my mother financially and physically whenever needed. Conversely, my mother and I have always supported my brother financially and physically whenever required. My mother does not like staying with my brother and sister-in-law. However, she maintains a good relationship with them as they do not retaliate against her. My mother often interferes with our eating habits, especially regarding our weekend outings for leisure or movies. When I wanted to renovate the kitchen in my newly purchased house, she strongly objected. My mother insists that her opinion matters; otherwise, there is no point in having a relationship among us. Sometimes, she even imposes my brother and sister-in-law’s suggestions on us. Whenever I oppose her views, it irritates her, and we start quarreling. My mother then curses us, saying that if her suggestions are not implemented, it will cause trouble for us in the future. It often ends with her saying that she is dead to us and wants to end our relationship. We reconcile after a long time. Hence, we sometimes feel that our freedom is restricted. I tried to explain to my mother that a true relationship is one where prompt support is provided when needed, not when someone opposes her views. I feel that instead of talking about breaking the relationship with me during our fights, my mother should discuss breaking the relationship with my brother and sister-in-law, and I have often discussed this with her. But my mother does not seem to understand and feels that she needs to fulfill her duties as a mother. I am planning to relocate to my own house next year, which is about 60 kilometers away. I have decided to break my relationship with my brother and sister-in-law as I do not want any superficial relationship. Please help as I am tired of quarreling with my mother.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
So, you find it easier to abandon your family because your brother and sister-in-law don't pitch in, your mother is interfering, your mother according to you should break ties with her other child!
Do you not sense the weight of expectations is the one actually ruining your peace of mind and hence your relationships? Yes, of course, your sibling can pitch in more; did it not occur to you that you can talk to him and his wife and actually request them to be more hands-on?
And why should your mother break ties with your brother? Is that the way you will feel validated by her OR that will show you that she recognizes what you do for her?
Do remember, never do anything for anyone (within relationships) with an expectation that you will get something in return. Selflessness is what will ensure that you have better quality relationships.
If you feel at some point that you are being taken for granted, then say so and set things right. Indulging in this kind of 'demand' that things must be a particular way is not going to happen especially when you come from a space where the ultimate deed is breaking relationships.
It takes one impulsive move to break relationships, so tread carefully, keep your emotions away from fueling your expectations and it will actually let see things for what they truly are. This will enable you take the next steps in a very meaningful way where no bridges are burned.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1406 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

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Relationship
Dear Anu I have been married for 17 years, and since around 2017, I have been living away from home for work. Recently, I have been reflecting on whether there is genuine love between my wife and me. When I tried to draw a conclusion, I realized that, yes, we do have true love. But then, why don’t our thoughts align? Why is there always a difference between the way I think and the way she thinks? And is this difference gradually eroding the respect in our relationship? You might say that since we are two different individuals, having differing opinions is natural. But how does one determine which opinion is right and which is wrong? How does one make that judgment? There have been several instances in our life where I hold my wife responsible for certain things, and in some matters, she holds me responsible. The root of this lies in the fact that I have faced the long-term consequences of certain actions in the past and continue to experience them, which influences my perspective. This is how I see it. At the same time, another thought crosses my mind: she’s my own person, so perhaps I should overlook minor shortcomings and make adjustments. But then, sometimes my heart accepts this reasoning, and at other times, it doesn’t. Why does this happen? I can’t figure it out, nor can I reach a definitive conclusion.
Ans: Dear Nilesh,
The Honeymoon period is long over; maybe you didn't get a chance to notice it.
Agreeing on everything and anything and literally being in alignment most times is a very romanticized version of what married couples are!
It is not uncommon to align but it's not necessary that a couple must align on thoughts and action. So, it's better to understand and accept it. If differences have begun to eat away the peace inside the marriage, that is when you need to step up and do something about it.
And who's to say who is right or wrong; it's only a matter of perspective and that comes from the way the person has lived and understood life's experiences.
If the core values match, let differences be...Respect those differences as that is what makes the other person who they are. If it starts to clash, sit down and have a mature chat about it to bring it to a mid-point and then you can laugh about it together.
Marriage evolves over a period of time and to move with it is maturity; how can you expect things to be the same or the way you think it should be? That is not how relationships and marriage work; acceptance of this fact that marriage evolves and that differences will come about even more seems to be wise in your case.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1106 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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