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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 05, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Deepak Question by Deepak on Dec 20, 2023Hindi
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Hello sir Deepak this side I want to earn 5cr. in next 5 to 6 year I want to invest in SIP so pls suggest how much amount I invest every month and which company. Thank you

Ans: To accumulate 5 crore in 5 to 6 years through SIPs, you'd need to invest a substantial amount monthly. Assuming an annual return of 12%, you'd need to invest around 4 to 4.5 lakh per month. However, this is a significant commitment and may not be feasible for everyone. It's essential to assess your risk tolerance, financial situation, and investment goals before committing to such a high amount. Additionally, consider diversifying your investments across different mutual funds or asset classes to mitigate risk. Consulting with a financial advisor can provide personalized guidance based on your circumstances.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 18, 2024

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Sir I want to invest in sip as I am targeting to get 1 cr in 10 years. In which sip should I invest and how much amount monthly
Ans: Congratulations on your commitment to financial planning! Let's embark on a journey to design a strategic investment plan that aligns with your long-term goals.

Assessment of Financial Goals

Understanding your financial aspirations is crucial for devising an effective investment strategy. By comprehensively assessing your goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon, we can tailor a plan to suit your needs.

Evaluation of Current Financial Situation

Before charting the course ahead, let's evaluate your current financial landscape. This involves analyzing your income, expenses, existing investments, and liabilities to gain a holistic understanding of your financial standing.

Strategic Asset Allocation

Based on your risk appetite and investment horizon, we'll craft a diversified portfolio comprising a mix of asset classes such as equities, debt instruments, and alternative investments. This balanced approach aims to optimize returns while mitigating risks.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed funds offer several advantages over passive index funds or ETFs. They are overseen by experienced fund managers who actively research and select investments, aiming to outperform the market. This proactive approach can potentially generate higher returns and adapt to changing market conditions.

Risks of Direct Funds vs. Benefits of Regular Funds through MFD with CFP Credential

Investing directly in mutual funds may seem convenient, but it comes with inherent risks such as lack of professional guidance, emotional decision-making, and inadequate diversification. On the other hand, investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) accredited Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) offers several benefits, including personalized advice, goal-oriented planning, and access to a diversified range of funds tailored to your needs.

Exploring Investment Avenues

With a strategic framework in place, let's explore various investment avenues suited to your goals and risk profile:

Equity Mutual Funds: These funds offer long-term growth potential by investing in a diversified portfolio of stocks across different market segments. They are ideal for investors with a higher risk appetite and a long-term investment horizon.

Debt Mutual Funds: Debt funds provide stability and regular income through investments in fixed-income securities such as government bonds, corporate bonds, and money market instruments. They are suitable for conservative investors seeking capital preservation and steady returns.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs): SIPs offer a disciplined approach to investing, allowing you to invest small amounts regularly over time. This systematic investment strategy harnesses the power of compounding and helps in rupee cost averaging, reducing the impact of market volatility.

Conclusion

By adopting a strategic investment approach, leveraging the expertise of a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), and diversifying your portfolio across various asset classes, you can pave the way for long-term financial success and achieve your life goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 02, 2024

Money
I want to invest 6 lakh per month in SIP. I have selected these funds and weightage. JM Flexicap - 30%, Motilal Oswal Midcap - 40%, Tata Small Cap - 15% and Quant Small Cap - 15%. Investing for 10 years. Goal is 20 crores in 10 years or bit longer is also fine.
Ans: Structured Analysis of Your SIP Investment Plan

Investing Rs 6 lakhs per month is a commendable goal. Your chosen allocation reflects a growth-oriented approach, focusing on flexicap, midcap, and small-cap funds. This strategy can offer strong growth potential, but balancing returns with risk is essential. Let’s assess each aspect to help you reach your target of Rs 20 crores over 10 years or slightly longer.

1. Evaluation of Chosen Fund Allocation
The fund allocation you've chosen comprises flexicap, midcap, and small-cap funds. Here’s how this breakdown aligns with a 10-year goal.

Flexicap (30%): Flexicap funds offer a balanced exposure across large, mid, and small caps. This flexibility allows fund managers to shift between sectors based on market conditions, offering both stability and growth.

Midcap (40%): Midcap funds bring higher growth potential compared to large caps. However, they also come with higher volatility. A 40% allocation to midcap is aggressive but can perform well over the long term.

Small-Cap Funds (30%): Small-cap funds have high growth potential, especially over a 10-year horizon. However, they are also the most volatile, especially in short-term market downturns.

Assessment: Your allocation is weighted towards mid- and small-cap funds, which are growth-oriented. It’s important to remember that while these categories can offer high returns, they can also be volatile, especially during economic downturns. Flexicap funds bring some balance, but if you seek reduced risk, consider adjusting these weights slightly.

2. Risk vs. Return Potential
For a Rs 20 crore target, you need an average annual growth rate that is achievable with your allocation. However, balancing the risk of such high-growth funds is crucial.

High Risk, High Return: Mid- and small-cap funds are known for delivering high returns, but they also have periods of underperformance. The flexicap component will moderate some of this risk but may not completely stabilize the portfolio.

Market Volatility Consideration: Mid- and small-cap funds are more sensitive to market changes, making them subject to higher volatility. Over 10 years, the probability of achieving your goal is high, but there will be years with dips, so be prepared for market fluctuations.

Insight: Your goal is feasible with the selected allocation. However, if you prefer to limit volatility, consider reducing the small-cap allocation and adding a slightly higher proportion in flexicap or even large-cap funds.

3. Tax Implications and Strategy
When building a large corpus, tax efficiency is critical, as it impacts your net returns significantly.

Equity Mutual Funds: Your investments are subject to long-term capital gains (LTCG) tax if held for over one year. Under current rules, LTCG on equity funds above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20% if you sell before one year.

Tax Optimization Strategy: Since your investments will be over a decade, the LTCG tax will apply. Ensuring that withdrawals are planned can help minimize the tax impact, especially if you spread the withdrawal period to fall within lower tax years.

Assessment: Your SIPs should be held with a long-term focus. Plan withdrawals carefully to optimize tax liability and reduce any immediate tax burden.

4. Reviewing Direct vs Regular Plan Investment
If you’re considering direct funds, note the potential drawbacks, particularly for high-stakes goals like Rs 20 crores.

Direct Funds: Although direct funds offer a lower expense ratio, they require active management and monitoring. They lack the guidance that can be crucial for long-term investors, especially if market conditions change.

Regular Plans Through CFP: Investing in regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers professional guidance. A CFP can help you adjust your allocation, monitor fund performance, and make timely rebalancing decisions.

Recommendation: For high-value goals, regular plans with CFP guidance provide greater support. This approach ensures your investment plan remains aligned with your objectives and risk tolerance.

5. Potential for Rebalancing and Adjustments
Over a decade, regular rebalancing can improve returns and reduce risk. Here’s why rebalancing matters:

Managing Risk Levels: Rebalancing adjusts your portfolio based on market conditions and can help manage risk levels as you get closer to the goal. For example, shifting from small-cap to more stable funds can lock in gains.

Aligning with Financial Goals: Periodic adjustments keep your portfolio aligned with changing financial goals or market conditions. This also allows you to take advantage of high-performing sectors.

Action Plan: Set up a rebalancing schedule, preferably annual, to maintain your desired risk level and optimise returns. A CFP can assist with this.

6. Planning for Liquidity Needs
In high-growth portfolios, it’s wise to plan liquidity carefully.

Liquidity for Emergencies: While your portfolio is growth-oriented, consider setting aside a small portion in liquid or ultra-short-term debt funds. This ensures quick access to funds without impacting your equity portfolio.

Exit Strategy: For achieving Rs 20 crores, consider an exit strategy closer to your target year. You can gradually move funds into more stable, low-volatility investments like large-cap funds or conservative debt funds to preserve accumulated wealth.

Action Plan: Consider a systematic transfer strategy to safer funds in the last 2-3 years before your target. This reduces exposure to market risks as you approach your goal.

7. Monitoring Performance Over Time
Ongoing monitoring is essential for achieving long-term financial goals.

Evaluating Fund Performance: Assess fund performance at least annually. Ensure that each fund meets your expected return and risk parameters. If a fund underperforms consistently, consider replacing it with a better-performing option.

Using a Benchmark: Compare each fund’s performance against a relevant benchmark, such as Nifty Midcap for mid-cap funds. This provides insight into whether the fund is adding value or merely following the index.

Action Plan: Use regular reviews to stay informed about your funds’ performance. Consult a CFP for guidance on underperforming funds or market changes.

8. Final Insights
Your investment plan aligns well with your goal of Rs 20 crores. With a growth-oriented approach, the selected funds provide an excellent opportunity to achieve your financial target over 10 years. Balancing returns and risk, however, is essential. Here’s a recap:

Flexicap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds are well-suited for long-term growth but carry market risk.

Rebalancing and liquidity planning can further protect your portfolio, especially as you near your target.

Monitor performance annually and make adjustments if needed. Working with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) will help ensure that your investments remain aligned with your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

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Requesting you, to help me, regarding midcap 150 etf of mirae asset midcap 150 etf for longterm through SIP
Ans: Let us review the suitability of investing in a mid-cap 150 ETF for the long term via SIP.

Understanding ETFs and Their Characteristics
Passive Management: Midcap ETFs replicate an index like the Nifty Midcap 150.

Cost Efficiency: They offer lower expense ratios compared to actively managed funds.

No Active Decision Making: They do not try to outperform the market but track the index.

Volatility Concerns: Midcap indices are more volatile than large-cap indices.

Returns Depend on Index: The ETF's performance mirrors the performance of its benchmark.

Disadvantages of Investing in Midcap ETFs
Lack of Active Management
Mid-cap stocks are highly volatile.

Active fund managers can adjust portfolios to limit risks during downturns.

ETFs lack this flexibility, as they strictly follow the index composition.

Limited Flexibility in Rebalancing
Market conditions often demand sector rotation or stock-specific decisions.

Actively managed funds adapt to such conditions, but ETFs cannot.

Tracking Errors
ETFs may not perfectly replicate the index due to tracking errors.

This can affect returns, especially over the long term.

Why Actively Managed Funds May Be Better
Fund Manager Expertise
Skilled managers can outperform the index by selecting high-growth stocks.

They can mitigate risks in falling markets through tactical decisions.

Flexibility in Stock Selection
Active funds are not limited to a predefined basket of stocks.

Managers can select fundamentally strong stocks beyond the index.

Potential for Higher Returns
Actively managed funds have historically outperformed midcap indices over long periods.

This makes them a better choice for wealth creation in the mid-cap segment.

Recommendations for Long-Term Mid-Cap Investments
Diversify: Include actively managed mid-cap funds instead of relying solely on an ETF.

Professional Guidance: Invest in regular plans via a Certified Financial Planner.

Monitor Performance: Review fund performance every 6–12 months.

Manage Risk: Avoid overexposure to mid-cap investments due to their volatility.

Final Insights
While Mirae Asset Midcap 150 ETF is a low-cost option, it has limitations.

Active mid-cap funds can better navigate market volatility.

They provide the flexibility and expertise required for wealth creation.

For long-term SIPs, consider balanced exposure to actively managed funds. This ensures both growth and risk management over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7367 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Money
Dear sir, I am 50 years old and working in private sector MNC 1.5 Lakhs on hand. My job security is very less. I have two kids aged 18, 14 years old. My wife is housewife. I have 80L in Mutual funds and 20L in stocks, Bank deposits 40L. I am investing in SIP in below Mutual funds all direct growth around 57000 pm. CR Bule chip fund, MA Large and Midcap, HDFC smallcap each 5000 pm (15000) step up 2000 every 6months. Invesco Infra, JM Value fund, Nippon India Multicap, Small cap, Parag parekh Flexi cap, Quant Small cap, Mid cap each 6000 pm (42000), all these SIPs started recently from June 2024. Some Lumpsum in Axis smallcap 6L, Bandan core Equity 3L, CR Smallcap 8L, DSP smallcap 4L,HSBC Flexicap 3.5, HSBC Smallcap 3L, ICICI Pru Infra 3.5L, Value discovery 3L, Invesco Large & Midcap 2L, JM Flexicap 1L, Motilal Oswal Midcap 8L, SBI Bluechip 7L, Infrastructure 2L, Sundaram Smallcap 3L My expenses per month are 1.2 Lakh. I don't have loans/EMIs. Please advice me for my retirement life which need at least 1.5L per month, my kids education expenses, and also advice to my Portfolio. Thanks and regards, Yours sincerely, Purushotham Thati
Ans: Your current portfolio and investment habits show a good start. Let us evaluate your financial standing, address your goals, and provide suggestions for optimisation.

Assessment of Your Current Financial Position
Income and Expenses: You have a monthly income of Rs. 1.5 lakh and expenses of Rs. 1.2 lakh. This leaves a surplus of Rs. 30,000 per month.

Investment Corpus: Your existing corpus includes Rs. 80 lakh in mutual funds, Rs. 20 lakh in stocks, and Rs. 40 lakh in bank deposits.

SIP Contributions: You are investing Rs. 57,000 monthly across multiple mutual funds.

Lump Sum Investments: You have allocated significant lump sums to small-cap, flexi-cap, and thematic funds.

Goals: Your goals include securing Rs. 1.5 lakh monthly for retirement and funding your children's education.

Planning for Retirement
Corpus Required
You aim for Rs. 1.5 lakh per month during retirement.

Factor in inflation to estimate future monthly expenses.

The current corpus and SIPs must grow consistently to meet this goal.

Recommendations
Maintain a balanced allocation between equity and debt for steady growth.

Avoid excessive concentration in small-cap and thematic funds, which are volatile.

Increase exposure to balanced and flexi-cap funds for stability.

Planning for Children’s Education
Current Needs
Your children are aged 18 and 14, which implies upcoming higher education expenses.

Plan for expenses within the next 4–8 years.

Recommendations
Create a dedicated education fund for both children.

Use debt-oriented hybrid funds or short-term debt funds for near-term goals.

Ensure part of your mutual fund corpus is earmarked for this purpose.

Portfolio Review and Suggestions
Strengths of the Portfolio
Disciplined SIP Investments: Investing Rs. 57,000 monthly shows financial discipline.

Diversification: Exposure to various categories like large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and thematic funds.

Areas for Improvement
Excessive Small-Cap Allocation: High exposure to small-cap funds increases volatility.

Thematic Fund Overlap: Thematic funds like infrastructure may lead to concentration risks.

Direct Fund Investments: Direct funds lack professional guidance and ongoing monitoring.

Portfolio Optimisation
Consolidate funds to reduce over-diversification and improve focus.

Shift some SIPs to balanced advantage or hybrid funds for stability.

Review and replace underperforming funds periodically.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner to benefit from professional advice.

Optimising Lumpsum Investments
Review the performance of your lump sum investments.

Redeploy underperforming small-cap and thematic funds into balanced funds.

Keep a portion of your bank deposits in liquid funds for emergencies.

Avoid high allocations to sectoral or cyclical funds due to their dependency on market conditions.

Tax Planning
Long-term capital gains on equity mutual funds above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains on equity funds are taxed at 20%.

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Plan redemptions considering these rules to minimise tax liabilities.

Emergency Fund Allocation
Maintain at least 6–12 months of expenses in liquid funds or fixed deposits.

This ensures financial security given your low job security.

Allocate Rs. 15–20 lakh from your bank deposits for this purpose.

Recommendations for SIPs
Reduce exposure to small-cap and thematic funds.

Increase allocation to large-cap and multi-cap funds for stability.

Consider balanced advantage funds to manage market volatility.

Step-up SIPs only after assessing fund performance.

Final Insights
Your financial foundation is strong, but optimisation is essential.

Prioritise stability and diversification in your portfolio.

Allocate funds separately for retirement and children’s education.

Maintain a robust emergency fund to handle uncertainties.

Seek professional advice to streamline and monitor your investments.

Consistent review and disciplined investing will help you achieve financial independence and secure your family’s future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |807 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024Hindi
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Retiremen advice I am 50 yrs old single with recurring and chronic health issues. I would like to retire and I have 2 crore in FD 1 crore in stock and mutual funds I also own a home and a flat both are free of debt. Please advice me to restructure my assets and have a peaceful retirement. My tax consultant told me I can get up to 3 lakhs per month with 3 cr invested in stocks and mutual funds How realistic is it possible and how to montage the downside risks associated with it. I had been a victim of Franklin Templeton debt funds during covid and I do not trust Mutual funds houses or its manages as before.
Ans: Hello;

It is impossible to get 3 L per month with 3 Cr corpus in mutual funds, unless you are ready to deplete the corpus completely over 10-12 years.

Since you were impacted with Franklin Templeton debt funds issue earlier, I recommend you to buy an immediate annuity from a life insurance company for a sum of 2.8 Cr.

You may chose annuity for life with return of purchase price to your nominee.

It may yield you a post tax monthly income of around 1.1 L+.

After fulfilling your regular expenses you may begin a monthly sip of 10-15 K in any equity fund.

The corpus that this investment will generate over 10-15 years may be used to top-up annuity and hence monthly payouts to account for rise in the inflation.

You may keep balance 20 L corpus in savings account as emergency fund.

Although the Franklin Templeton debt fund issue was difficult for the unitholders of those funds, the alacrity and surgical precision with which SEBI handled that issue and ensured all investors get their money back was commendable.

We cannot control human behaviour but we have extremely robust system of checks and balances in regulation of our MF industry to safeguard investor interests at all costs even if some negative event occurs.

Seek help from a mutual fund distributor or an investment advisor for help, if required.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1414 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I live in a joint family with my brother and parents. I’ve been having a hard time managing my relationship with my bhabhi (sister-in-law). We live in the same house, and things have been tense lately. I’ve always tried to be polite and respectful, but there are constant little misunderstandings between us, and it’s starting to affect my peace of mind. We both want to keep things cordial for the family’s sake, but it feels like there’s always some tension whenever we interact. The problem is, I tend to get defensive whenever she says something I don’t agree with, and I know it’s only making things worse. I’m also trying to stay calm in front of everyone, but it’s hard not to let these small issues build up in my head. I really don’t want to keep feeling frustrated, but I don’t know how to change my approach. I love my brother and I want to improve the atmosphere at home and make sure I’m not letting these things affect me so much. Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Joint family systems are filled with adventure and these things that you have brought up are part of that adventure.
Take things as they come and make sure you train yourself not to react...is this possible? YES, it is!
Let's say your Bhabhi accuses you of something, maybe your first reaction is to get defensive and explain or argue. Instead, what if you trained yourself to say: Okay, she's again accusing me of something; let's see what is the new thing that she has invented and let me have fun by simply listening.

This will ensure that your part of adventure gets playful and it will also enable you to respond rather than react. Now, does this happen overnight? NO, it requires a lot of mind training but start somewhere to get to someplace different.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1414 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

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Relationship
Hi, I Am 26(M). I had an arranged marriage, my wife had a pre-marital affair which continued even after our engagement and for 9 months of marriage. According to my wife, she met him once and he wanted to have sex but my wife didn't do it. (The used to chat on Instagram). I found out today after 2 years of marriage. And we just had a baby. My wife asked me to use Instagram after we got engaged, but I refused because I was afraid it would have a bad effect on her. I don't even use it cause I know what can go wrong. When I caught her red-handed and saw the man's chats, I took her phone. And then I had read a little chat, then my wife came to me and said that she had to call our maid. I gave her the phone and she not only spoke on the phone but also deleted the chats with the guy. My eyes were closed when she spoke to maid on the phone. Cause I was so tired. Then I asked my wife to talk to him in front of me because I wanted to teach him a lesson and find his fiancée and tell her the truth. I'm very loyal to my wife. And she was my world. I've never had a girlfriend. I am open minded and I had asked my wife before the engagement, after the engagement on the phone and even after the marriage that if she had a past, I will accept it. My wife messaged him and he asked her talk on video call. The guy also knows that we have just had a baby who is not even 1 month old. I turned on the screen recording of the video call and gave it to my wife. In that screen recording, my wife texted the guy and told him to talk carefully cause I was sitting in front of her and then deleted the message with option of 'delete for you' on Instagram. This is how my wife cheated on me 2 times even after being caught. She told me that she loved me later on. And she took great care of me. She brought me out of depression. She did everything and I also loved her with all my heart and did everything for her. Right now she is saying I forgive her and she wants to live with me like before. She apologized a ton as well. But I don't know what to do at the moment. After so many lies, I can't trust her easily. She has a habit of lying in small things as well. I want to live with her, she was my support, my mother is not even there. when I was 12 years old... Now what do I do? Please kindly guide me!
Ans: Dear LoneKnight,
Yes, you feel like your trust has been broken. Is it easy to build back that trust? Yes and No...Yes, if you wish to...No, if you don't wish to...
If you go back in time and play the same story about how you wife was on Instagram and how she 'cheated' on you, there is no way that you can put your marriage back together.
How are you open-minded when an Instagram account causes you to fear what will happen? I can understand that you are a person with no past girlfriends but people do come with a past. Now, your wife could have shared her past with you, but most women seem to not want to for fear of reaction from the men like you have now. I can see that all this has hurt you, but if you want this marriage to work, you are going to have to drop all the past baggage, yours and your wife's and start afresh. Which means taking things for what it is NOW at face value without doubting it.
Can you do that? My suggestion would be: make an honest attempt at it. But warn yourself against going back in to the past otherwise there will be more mud throwing and no solution in sight.
Start new, Start afresh...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Dec 28, 2024 | Answered on Dec 28, 2024
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Thanks You Very Much Ma'am For Your Answer. The Reason For Not Using Instagram Was Cause I Didn't Wanted To Look At Any Other Women Instead Of Her. My Intentions Were Pure. Also I Didn't wanted a thing which can spark of cheating so there will be no fire. I am open minded I told her I will accept it. Problem is that affair continued even after engagement and marriage (till 9 months of marriage) But today's condition is that i think she has lost interest. We have tradition inwhich wife goes to their home and stay for 2-3 months. Her mother has been so influential from beginning so am telling her to comeback. She is not ready to comeback even when I am sick. I told her to come back for at least 4-5 days so we can talk. I am afraid she will mindwash her. And I can see that. I have given the best possible time yet she is complaining that I don't give time. When I told her to come back she overeated that she will never go there and that. She wasn't like this. She was with me in my everything. I am so confused. I have forgiven & forgotten everything about the past still... What do you suggest ma'am???
Ans: Dear LoneKnight,
I have already made my suggestions in the initial response. Start afresh and wipe the slate clean. Rebuilding trust cannot happen overnight, so give the marriage a fair GO.
What you have shared again are problems and when you stay in that Zone, you will only be able to focus on problems. When there is an intention to solve the issue, the prerequisite is to move away from all the things that have gone wrong/bad and all the things that you think will go wrong/bad. That's the only way to solve problems. So my suggestions are still the same.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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