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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 26, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 21, 2024Hindi
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Good Afternoon Sir I am Ashok Kumar, aged 50 years. I am working in Haryana as State Government Employee since March 2013. Myself share (@ 10% of Basic+DA) as well as Government share (@14% of Basic+DA) is contributing in my PRAN under NPS scheme in following schemes (default scheme set-up):- i) SBI Pension Fund Scheme (34.0%)- State Govt. ii) UTI Retirement Solutions Pension Fund Scheme (32.0%)- State Govt. iii) LIC Pension Fund Scheme - State Govt. (34.0%)- State Govt. Total contribution in my PRAN till date is Rs. 12.216 lakhs and Total Notional Gain is Rs. 6.026 Lakhs i.e. a return of approx. 9.0 % is showing in the statement provided by NPS/PROTEAN. Here, my question is whether i should go with the above current schemes or i should change above schemes so that i can get maximum benefit at the time of retirement. If i have to change the schemes, kindly also suggest schemes so that i can opts for the same. Thanking you

Ans: Ashok Kumar,

Thank you for your detailed query and the trust you have shown in seeking advice for your NPS investments. Your dedication to securing a better retirement is commendable.

Let's analyze and evaluate your current investment strategy in the National Pension System (NPS) to help you make informed decisions for maximum benefit at retirement.

Current NPS Allocation Analysis
You have a diversified allocation in the default schemes set up by the State Government:

SBI Pension Fund Scheme (34%)
UTI Retirement Solutions Pension Fund Scheme (32%)
LIC Pension Fund Scheme (34%)
Your total contribution till date is Rs. 12.216 lakhs with a notional gain of Rs. 6.026 lakhs, reflecting an approximate return of 9%.

This indicates a stable growth, but let's assess if this is optimal for your retirement goals.

Assessing the Need for Change
When considering changes to your investment strategy, several factors need to be evaluated:

1. Risk Tolerance and Time Horizon
Given your age of 50, your risk tolerance and investment horizon are crucial. With potentially 10-15 years until retirement, balancing growth and safety becomes essential.

2. Performance of Current Schemes
Review the past performance of the SBI, UTI, and LIC pension funds. While historical performance isn't a guarantee of future results, it provides insight into the fund managers' capabilities.

3. Fund Management Style
Actively managed funds can outperform the market with skilled managers. It’s important to verify that the fund managers of your current schemes have a consistent track record of delivering returns above the benchmark.

Recommendations for Optimal NPS Strategy
1. Re-Evaluation of Pension Funds
Consider diversifying into funds with a strong performance record. Reviewing quarterly and annual returns can guide your decision on maintaining or switching funds.

2. Consider Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds often yield better returns compared to passive funds due to the expertise of fund managers. They can adapt to market changes and take advantage of opportunities.

3. Avoid Direct Funds
Direct funds require active monitoring and investment knowledge. Regular funds managed through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provide professional oversight and strategic adjustments, ensuring your portfolio aligns with your goals.

Benefits of Professional Guidance
1. Strategic Asset Allocation
A CFP can help you align your asset allocation with your risk tolerance and retirement goals. They provide a balanced mix of equity, corporate debt, and government securities tailored to your needs.

2. Ongoing Portfolio Management
Continuous monitoring and rebalancing by a CFP ensure your investments stay on track. This professional management adapts to market conditions and personal changes.

3. Maximizing Returns
A CFP's expertise helps in identifying high-performing funds and making informed switches. This proactive approach aims to maximize your retirement corpus.

Final Thoughts
Your current NPS allocation has provided decent returns, but there’s potential for improvement. Evaluating your funds' performance and considering actively managed options can enhance your retirement savings.

With a strategic approach and professional guidance, you can optimize your NPS investments for a secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2024Hindi
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I am 55 years old and I will retire at the age of 62 years. I am under NPS and so far my NPS corpse is Rs. 1crore and I have MF of Rs. 25lakhs. I have been doing SIP of Rs. 20000/- for the last 10 years. Currently my sip amount is Rs.45000/- per month. My NPS tire 1 contribution is Rs. 67000/- per month. Are these enough for my retirement purpse ?
Ans: Firstly, let me commend you on your diligent efforts towards planning for your retirement. It's essential to evaluate your current financial position and assess if your savings and investments align with your retirement goals.

Evaluating Existing Retirement Corpus
NPS and Mutual Funds
Your NPS corpus of Rs. 1 crore and MF investments of Rs. 25 lakhs signify a significant portion of your retirement savings.
It's commendable that you've been consistently investing through SIPs over the past decade, demonstrating discipline and foresight.
Monthly Contributions
Your current SIP of Rs. 45,000 and NPS Tier 1 contribution of Rs. 67,000 per month reflect a substantial commitment towards retirement planning.
Regular contributions over an extended period can potentially lead to significant wealth accumulation over time.
Analyzing Retirement Adequacy
Consideration of Retirement Expenses
To determine if your savings and investments are sufficient for retirement, it's crucial to estimate your post-retirement expenses.
Consider factors such as living expenses, healthcare costs, inflation, and any additional financial commitments.
Retirement Income Sources
Apart from your NPS and MF investments, assess other potential sources of retirement income, such as pension benefits, annuities, rental income, or passive income streams.
Diversifying income sources can provide stability and resilience during retirement.
Conducting a Retirement Gap Analysis
Retirement Corpus Estimation
Estimate the corpus required to sustain your desired lifestyle and meet financial goals during retirement.
Consider factors like inflation, life expectancy, healthcare expenses, and any outstanding liabilities.
Assessing Shortfall or Surplus
Compare your estimated retirement corpus requirement with your existing savings and investments.
Identify any shortfall or surplus to determine if adjustments are necessary in your savings strategy.
Recommendations for Retirement Planning
Review and Adjust Strategy
Regularly review your retirement plan and make adjustments based on changing circumstances, financial goals, and market conditions.
Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) for personalized advice tailored to your specific needs and objectives.
Explore Additional Retirement Avenues
Explore opportunities to enhance your retirement savings, such as voluntary contributions to NPS, tax-saving investments, or retirement-oriented mutual funds.
Ensure a diversified portfolio mix aligned with your risk tolerance and investment horizon.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while your current savings and investments demonstrate a proactive approach towards retirement planning, it's essential to conduct a comprehensive analysis to ensure adequacy. Regular monitoring, prudent asset allocation, and strategic adjustments can help you achieve your retirement objectives with confidence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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Hi Sir, I am 53, volunteerly retired from pvt firm. I am doing NPS.. looking for pension in my 60 th year. I have invested in MF and Stocks and they are doing well and earning in the range of 12-18%. My NPS is doing arround 10-11%. I am looking my retirement monthly income arround Rs.50,000. Right now I have 10 lakhs in the NPS. What measures should I take to achieve my NPS income. I have no regular income but I can invest lump sum to achieve this Target if so How. Two way I can make lumpsum is by selling the plot worth 30 lakhs and shifting my MF/Stock amount to NPS account..Advise.
Ans: As you approach retirement at 53 with the goal of securing a monthly income of Rs. 50,000, it's essential to craft a robust financial plan that leverages your current assets and optimizes your investments for long-term stability and growth. Here’s a detailed strategy to help you achieve your retirement income target.

Assessing Your Current Financial Landscape
Existing Assets
National Pension System (NPS): Currently holding Rs. 10 lakhs, with an average return of 10-11% annually.
Mutual Funds (MFs) and Stocks: Investments performing well, yielding between 12-18% returns.
Real Estate: A plot valued at Rs. 30 lakhs, which you are considering selling to enhance your retirement funds.
Retirement Income Goal
Monthly Income Objective: Rs. 50,000
Retirement Income Planning
Optimizing National Pension System (NPS)
Enhancing Returns

To meet your income target effectively through NPS:

Increase Contributions: Boost your monthly contributions to NPS. Given the opportunity to invest a lump sum from the plot sale, this can significantly augment your NPS corpus.

Asset Allocation Strategy: Diversify NPS investments across equity, corporate bonds, and government securities. This diversified approach balances risk while aiming for growth in retirement funds.

Utilizing Lump Sum Funds
Strategic Investment

Proceeds from Plot Sale: Selling the plot and reinvesting in NPS can accelerate your retirement savings trajectory. This infusion allows for faster accumulation towards your income goal.

Tax Optimization: Evaluate tax implications and utilize NPS tax benefits to maximize retirement savings from the plot sale proceeds.

Leveraging Mutual Funds and Stocks
Asset Management

Portfolio Review: Evaluate MF and stock holdings. Consider reallocating a portion into NPS to align with retirement income objectives and diversify risk effectively.

Risk Mitigation: Maintain a balanced risk profile with continuous monitoring of MFs and stocks. Ensure these investments contribute positively towards your retirement income target amidst market fluctuations.

Long-Term Financial Security
Planning for Future Needs

Inflation Protection: Incorporate inflation adjustments to preserve retirement income purchasing power. NPS’s market-linked returns can help hedge against inflation risks over the long term.

Emergency Fund: Maintain a liquid emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This safety net ensures financial resilience during unexpected events, safeguarding retirement plans.

Final Insights
Achieving a sustainable retirement income of Rs. 50,000 requires a comprehensive strategy that integrates income generation, risk management, and strategic asset allocation. By maximizing NPS contributions, utilizing proceeds from the plot sale to bolster NPS investments, and maintaining a diversified portfolio across NPS, MFs, and stocks, you can effectively work towards your retirement income target with confidence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  | Answer  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Sep 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 26, 2024Hindi
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Hi Mr. Vivek, i would like to seek ur advice regarding the central government announcement relating to the pension scheme. Which among the 2 pension schemes is more beneficial NPS or UPS. I am eagerly waiting for your financial advice on the above matter.
Ans: Dear Vivek,
Thank you for your query regarding the recent pension scheme announcement. Let’s understand the key differences between the National Pension System (NPS) and the newly introduced Universal Pension Scheme (UPS) and find out which might be more beneficial for you.
National Pension System (NPS) NPS is a government-backed retirement savings scheme where you contribute regularly during your working years, and the funds are invested in a mix of equity, corporate debt, and government bonds. Upon retirement, you receive a portion of the accumulated corpus as a lump sum, and the rest is used to purchase an annuity that provides a regular pension. Let’s see what are Tax Benefits Contributions to NPS are tax-deductible up to Rs 1.5 lakh under Section 80C and an additional Rs 50,000 under Section 80CCD(1B), making it attractive for tax-saving purposes. The returns on NPS depend on market performance, as it invests in equity and debt instruments. Historically, the average return has been between 8-10%, making it a relatively high-return pension option. If you see 2023 the returns are between 16 to 20%. There is Flexibility to choose your own asset allocation (equity vs. debt) or opt for auto-allocation based on your age and risk profile. For Withdrawals At the age of 60, you can withdraw 60% of the corpus tax-free, while 40% is used to purchase an annuity, which provides a regular pension. For premature exit is only possible after 5 Years after registration. you can withdraw entire amount if corpus is below 2.5 Lakh. If corpus is beyond 2.5 lakh then you can only withdraw 20% and balance 80 % to be invested to buy annuity.
In case of Universal Pension Scheme (UPS) it is a recently introduced pension scheme aimed at providing retirement benefits to all citizens, including those in informal sectors who may not have access to other retirement schemes. It is designed to ensure that every citizen has a basic income after retirement. For Contribution: UPS is likely to have lower contribution requirements compared to NPS, making it more accessible to those with lower incomes or irregular earnings. The scheme promises universal coverage, meaning it is open to all citizens, regardless of their employment status. UPS may offer fixed or modest returns, more similar to a traditional pension plan, and less focused on market-linked investments like NPS. The scheme is likely to be simpler to manage, with fewer choices regarding asset allocation and investment decisions. Under the UPS, the assured pension will be the average basic salary + DA drawn in the previous 12 months before superannuation. This would mean that government employees, at retirement, will get 50% of the average of the last 12 months' salary + DA.
Which One Is More Beneficial?
If You’re Seeking Higher Returns and Flexibility then NPS would be a better option as it allows for market-linked returns (higher than most traditional pension schemes) and gives you control over your investment choices. It’s ideal for those who want to accumulate a larger retirement corpus.
If You Want Simplicity and Universal Access then UPS could be a good choice for individuals looking for an easy-to-understand, universally available pension scheme with a stable income. It is designed to cater to a broader section of the population, especially those in informal jobs or without regular retirement savings.
For Tax Benefits: NPS offers significant tax benefits under Section 80C and 80CCD, which may make it more attractive if you’re in a higher tax bracket.
For Lower-Income Individuals: UPS may be more beneficial due to its accessibility and potentially lower contribution requirements.
It’s important to assess your long-term goals, income, and risk tolerance before making a decision. If you need further clarification or help choosing the best scheme for you, feel free to reach out.
Best regards,
Nitin Narkhede
Founder & MD, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub https://Nitinnarkhede.com
Free Webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1451 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am a widow and mother of a 6 yr old special child. My daughter is going to an inclusive school with a shadow teacher. I came in contact with a divorcee 1.5 yrs back and we have mutual regard. Parents know this and they have left this decision on us...If we want to go ahead with marriage. The problem is...boy is unsure if he would be able to take up responsibility of father of a special kid. And if we go on to plan for another child, will I be able to manage two kids , one with special condition..taking care of special kid is also financially draining..also the guy is planning to relocate abroad...that would again be a challenge for me ..as taking care of special kid abroad is tougher as there will be no helpers available there..One option everyone is suggesting is to keep my kid in hostel..if keeping in boarding school is beneficial for her ..I don't have issue .but in india there are no such inclusive set up boarding schools..and I don't want to put her in a special school...what should I do? I was thinking to remarry only for emotional companionship..Should I just say no to marriage as there will be lot of compromises...and I don't want my kid to suffer because of this. I am earning enough for my kid and myself. Pls suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How exactly do you expect a special child to cope in a boarding school? I am sure that is something that has crossed your mind.
My questions for you:
Does it bother you that this man does not accept your life as is? If Yes, read on...
Does it bother you that you are the one who is making changes to accommodate this person? If Yes, read on...
Would you have liked it if he willingly had accepted your life as is? If Yes, read on...

Think about this a lot before you make a decision to be with him. There's a lot to think as a parent and he isn't one and may never get the point of how your life is. Take you time before you decide anything...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1451 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 22, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  | Answer  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 21, 2025Hindi
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I'm 32, with no savings other than my monthly SIP of 5000 which i have been doing since 2022 september. I have no financial backing, could you help me with a break up of how i can start investing and saving.
Ans: At 32, starting with Rs. 5,000 monthly SIP is a good first step. Building wealth requires a structured approach to saving and investing. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you achieve financial stability and growth.

Assessing Your Current Situation
You have no financial backing, so an emergency fund is critical.

Your monthly SIP indicates discipline in investing.

Prioritising goals and systematic planning will strengthen your finances.

Step 1: Establish an Emergency Fund
Save at least 6 months' worth of monthly expenses in a liquid fund or savings account.

Allocate a fixed portion of your income every month for this purpose.

Emergency funds should be easily accessible but not used for routine expenses.

Step 2: Manage Expenses Effectively
Create a monthly budget to track income and expenses.

Identify unnecessary expenses and redirect the savings towards investments.

Follow the 50-30-20 rule:

50% for necessities (rent, food, bills).
30% for discretionary spending (entertainment, hobbies).
20% for savings and investments.
Step 3: Continue and Enhance SIP Contributions
Your Rs. 5,000 SIP in equity mutual funds is a good start.

Gradually increase the SIP amount as your income grows.

Choose funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Step 4: Diversify Your Investments
Equity Mutual Funds

Continue investing in actively managed funds for long-term growth.
Focus on funds with consistent performance over 5-10 years.
Debt Funds or Fixed Deposits

Allocate a portion to safer instruments for stability.
These options can balance risk in your portfolio.
PPF (Public Provident Fund)

Open a PPF account for tax-saving benefits and long-term compounding.
Invest a fixed amount annually to build a secure retirement corpus.
Gold for Wealth Protection

Allocate a small percentage (5-10%) to gold (SGB or gold mutual funds).
Gold acts as a hedge against inflation.
Step 5: Focus on Insurance and Risk Coverage
Purchase a term insurance policy with adequate coverage (10-15 times your annual income).

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance to cover medical emergencies.

Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies as they deliver low returns.

Step 6: Plan for Long-Term Goals
Define specific financial goals like buying a house, retirement, or children's education.

Assign timelines and cost estimates to each goal.

Invest in equity for long-term goals (10+ years) and debt for short-term goals (1-3 years).

Step 7: Tax-Saving Investments
Use Section 80C instruments like ELSS, PPF, or NPS to save taxes.

ELSS funds provide equity exposure with tax benefits under Section 80C.

Avoid locking excessive funds in low-return tax-saving options.

Step 8: Automate Savings and Investments
Set up auto-debit for SIPs and savings to maintain consistency.

Automating investments reduces the temptation to spend unnecessarily.

Step 9: Regular Monitoring and Review
Review your portfolio every 6 months to track performance.

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the right asset allocation.

Avoid frequent fund switching, as it may impact long-term returns.

Final Insights
Starting with limited resources can feel challenging but is achievable with discipline. Build an emergency fund, manage expenses wisely, and grow your investments systematically. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to optimise your portfolio and achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thinking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me ask you one thing, if you knew a plane was going to crash, would you still get on it because you are worried you will reach your destination late? No, right? Similarly, if you know this marriage could be really tough on you, with the added responsibilities of a teenager and another soon-to-be teenager, do you still want to go ahead with it, just because you might have to stay alone for a while longer?

I can't really make a decision for you, but I can urge you to rethink this alliance. It's great that you are trying to compromise but do not compromise so much that nothing that you want is given any importance. You cannot ask a father to send his child to a hostel so that you can have some privacy; similarly, no one can force you to raise him as well. The best decision would be to either reconsider the relationship or have an open conversation and come to a middle ground that works for all.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
How do I 32M get over my insecurity with 30F? (Seeking Advice) Met this girl via matrimony exactly 2 months back. We connect well. Our families have met recently and it went well. Somehow we found a lot of connections between our families. That's just a bonus. Her family likes me a lot and they wanted to do Roka when they met us last week. I had told her, that no matter our bond, we should talk a lot and give it 3 months before going for roka. We live in different metro cities and have met twice now. About her: She is 30, well behaved & spoken(most important thing for me), smart, good looking, and is extremely polite. She is an army brat, has had a lot of freedom from family. Due to her father's job, they kept getting posted to different cities so she doesn't really understand family part of things. She's in a IT job. About me: I'm 32, okayish guy, in IT. To take things ahead I need to know my partner's past. I have no judgements at all but need to know stuff. Getting to know things over time bothers me a lot. I've tried to work on it, and have always made sure I don't bother the other person too much. After a month of talking, she told me that she had a casual boyfriend for an year. All her friends were dating in Bangalore and she decided to try it out. Found a guy through bumble and started dating him. So, according to her there were no feelings, just a person for her to go to places with, have drinks, and party. She likes drinking a lot and I have never taken a sip. She said that it was just a phase and she was immature. This happened between 2018(Nov) to 2020(march). So, it's been like 5 years. Never dated anyone after that. Since covid(2020) she's been living with her parents due to wfh. I have been completely ok with that but new things surfaced and they are messing with my head. While snooping around her facebook I figured out who that person was and this guy is super close to a person in my distant family. In fact they both were flatmates until their respective marriages. This distant cousin of mine knows me and knows her really well. These 3 used to hangout a lot and he has seen her come to their flat regularly. Infact, she had a good bond with my cousin as well. There are things that bother me and I really can't shake things and feel super awful in my gut. She mentioned that she and her ex had a common love for drinking and regularly visited pubs, got drunk, and partied. This means that they would be staying at each other's place as well. This is something super old but bothers me a lot. Specifically the fact that she would be drunk partying with someone for an year and sleeping with him, with no feelings. Secondly, I found some posts where she has liked a post about this guy on fb/insta from mid-2021. I have already confronted her twice to share everything and we shall never discuss this again but this bothers me a lot. Secondly, now that I know the timelines I can figure out what photos have been taken by her ex. There's even a photo of her sitting on a messy bed, where she's cutting her bday cake. They celebrated it together. I found my cousins page and some other pages from which I knew it's the guy's room/flat. I know everyone has a past. She has come clean to me but somehow my brain is so split. Sometimes her nature and behaviour with me make me not care about anything. And then I know the bed, flat, and her actions with some guy. Then there is this angle where the ex's flatmate is my distant cousin and knows about her well.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is important for you to need to know her past and you mentioned that you merely want to know, and would not judge. But judging is exactly what you are doing. A lot of people have exes, a lot of people have occasional drinks- we can't judge people based on their past. She has opened up to you and all you are doing is snooping around. To be honest, it seems like you are really more concerned about her ex and past than about how amazing a person she is. I have only one piece of advice, if you think you can't get past her past, let her go. No one deserves to be judged by their past.

And think of it this way- you asked, and she told you. She was not obliged to, but still understanding your 'need' to know 'everything,' she confided in you. And this is how you are paying her back. Moreover, so what if she had an ex, or dated casually? How does that affect you right now? Ask yourself the same question and I think you will know the answer to your own dilemma.

Having said it all, marriage is a big decision. If you think her past can hamper your future, please rethink this relationship. It is best for both of you.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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