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42 with 8 Cr in MF, Should I Quit My Job?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 22, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 22, 2024Hindi
Money

I am 42 ,me n my family has 8 cr in mf,5 cr property,1 cr in fd ,50 lacs gold , n i have health insurance ,my monthly expense of family is 3 lacs ,please suggest I am planning to quit my job..

Ans: Your financial situation is impressive. You’ve built a strong foundation across multiple asset classes. Here's a detailed review of your portfolio:

Rs 8 crores in mutual funds.
Rs 5 crores in property.
Rs 1 crore in fixed deposits.
Rs 50 lakhs in gold.
Health insurance is in place.
Family's monthly expenses are Rs 3 lakhs.
You are now considering quitting your job. Let's break down the critical factors and give you a clear picture of your financial future.

Monthly Expenses vs. Existing Assets
Your monthly family expenses are Rs 3 lakhs. This translates to Rs 36 lakhs annually. It's crucial to ensure that your investments generate enough returns to cover these expenses without depleting your capital.

The key focus should be on maintaining a steady cash flow to sustain your lifestyle.

While Rs 8 crores in mutual funds and Rs 1 crore in fixed deposits are solid, we need to evaluate their liquidity and returns.

You also need to consider inflation, which will increase your expenses every year.

Evaluating Your Mutual Fund Portfolio
You have Rs 8 crores invested in mutual funds. Let’s look at how this can be optimized for your long-term needs.

Active vs Passive Management: Actively managed mutual funds could offer better returns. Index funds, while low cost, tend to follow market trends. They might not always outperform actively managed funds. Given your goal of quitting your job, maximizing returns is crucial.

Direct vs Regular Funds: If you're investing directly, it could be more taxing for you to monitor the funds. Regular funds managed by a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offer professional oversight. This ensures your portfolio stays aligned with market conditions and goals.

Debt Allocation: Ensure that a portion of your mutual funds is allocated to debt funds. This will reduce the volatility and provide a steady income. Equity-heavy portfolios can give good returns, but you also need stability, especially when planning to quit your job.

Real Estate: Liquidity and Considerations
Your property worth Rs 5 crores is valuable, but real estate is not very liquid. In case of an emergency, it might not provide quick cash.

Property investments are often illiquid and may not generate regular income unless rented. If there’s no rental income, you should not depend on it for cash flow needs.

While it contributes to your net worth, its direct impact on your monthly cash flow is limited.

Fixed Deposits: Security but Limited Growth
Rs 1 crore in fixed deposits offers stability. However, the returns from FDs are relatively low, especially when you consider inflation.

Interest Income: The interest from your FDs can contribute towards covering your monthly expenses. However, inflation could erode the purchasing power of this income over time.

Inflation Consideration: The average inflation rate in India is about 6-7%. FD returns often do not match up to this, meaning your real returns (after adjusting for inflation) could be negative.

Taxation: Interest earned from FDs is taxable as per your income slab, reducing your net returns. Keep this in mind while evaluating its contribution to your financial goals.

Gold as a Hedge
You have Rs 50 lakhs in gold, which is a great hedge against inflation and market volatility.

Role of Gold: Gold doesn’t generate regular income, but it acts as a store of value. It’s more of a wealth-preservation tool.

Liquidity: Gold can be easily liquidated during times of need, but it’s better to use it as a backup rather than a primary income source.

Health Insurance: Peace of Mind
You already have health insurance, which is excellent. Ensure it covers all major medical expenses and has sufficient coverage for the entire family.

Review Your Coverage: Reassess the sum insured regularly to ensure it matches the rising healthcare costs. Ensure you have family floater health insurance to cover every member.
Post-Retirement Strategy: Generating Regular Income
Quitting your job means you'll need a consistent income stream from your investments. Let’s see how you can plan for this:

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): A SWP from your mutual fund portfolio can generate a regular monthly income. This would be tax-efficient and can help meet your Rs 3 lakh monthly expenses.

Debt Fund Allocation: Debt mutual funds could provide stability. Returns are lower than equities but more predictable. They can be used for your regular monthly expenses.

Equity Allocation: Equity funds can still be a significant part of your portfolio. Over the long term, they will provide growth and protect against inflation.

Diversification: Ensure that your portfolio is diversified across asset classes—equities, debt, and gold—so that you’re not overly dependent on one type of asset for income.

Adjusting for Inflation
Inflation is one of the most significant risks to your financial security after quitting your job.

Higher Living Costs: Inflation could push your expenses from Rs 3 lakhs to Rs 6 lakhs in 15-20 years. It’s important to plan for this.

Growth-Oriented Investments: To counter inflation, ensure that a good portion of your investments is in growth assets like equity mutual funds. Over time, these should provide returns that outpace inflation.

Managing Taxes
Tax efficiency is crucial when you’re relying on investments for regular income.

Mutual Fund Taxation: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) on equity mutual funds above Rs 1.25 lakhs are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Fund Taxation: Debt funds are taxed as per your income tax slab, so consider this while withdrawing.

Tax Planning: Work with a Certified Financial Planner to minimize your tax outgo and maximize your post-tax returns. It’s important to balance income generation with tax efficiency.

What Should You Do Next?
Here’s a step-by-step approach to help you transition smoothly when you quit your job:

Review Your Current Portfolio: Work with a CFP to review your existing mutual fund portfolio. Shift towards a mix of growth and income-generating funds.

Set Up a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): This will provide you with a steady monthly income from your mutual funds.

Build a Debt Mutual Fund Cushion: Allocate a portion of your portfolio towards debt funds to reduce volatility.

Ensure Tax Efficiency: Keep an eye on taxes, especially capital gains and interest income. Use tax-efficient strategies to protect your income.

Plan for Inflation: Ensure that a significant portion of your investments remains in growth-oriented assets to beat inflation in the long run.

Finally
Your decision to quit your job is supported by a solid financial base. However, managing your portfolio for regular income, tax efficiency, and inflation protection will be key to sustaining your lifestyle without stress. A clear strategy with professional guidance will ensure a smooth and secure transition into this new phase of life.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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I am 48 years old I am planning to quit. I have 3 lands worth 85 lakhs, FD 15 lakhs, PF 60 lakhs, MF 50, 3 houses.
Ans: Retirement Planning at 48 Years Old
Congratulations on your successful investments and planning for retirement. Let's delve into optimizing your assets and ensuring a comfortable retirement.

Assessing Your Assets
Real Estate
You have three lands and three houses, amounting to a substantial asset base of 85 lakhs. However, real estate can be illiquid and may require maintenance costs.

Fixed Deposits (FD) and Provident Fund (PF)
Your FD of 15 lakhs and PF of 60 lakhs provide stability and security. They are essential components of your retirement portfolio.

Mutual Funds (MF)
Investing in MF with 50 lakhs demonstrates a diversified approach to wealth accumulation. MF offers growth potential and flexibility.

Retirement Goals and Lifestyle
Lifestyle Expectations
Define your desired lifestyle post-retirement. Consider travel, hobbies, healthcare, and other expenses.

Retirement Age
Determine the age at which you plan to retire. This will impact your investment strategy and corpus requirements.

Creating a Retirement Investment Strategy
Asset Allocation
Diversification
Ensure a balanced allocation across asset classes: equities, debt, real estate, and liquid assets.

Real Estate Management
Optimize Returns
Evaluate the potential of your real estate assets. Consider rental income, property appreciation, and market trends.

Fixed Income Instruments
FD and PF Management
Review the interest rates and tax implications of your FD and PF. Explore options for higher-yielding fixed income instruments.

Mutual Funds
Equity and Debt Funds
Continue investing in MF for growth. Consider a mix of equity and debt funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Risk Management
Insurance Coverage
Ensure adequate health and life insurance coverage for yourself and your family. This provides financial security during emergencies.

Emergency Fund
Maintain an emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of expenses. This provides liquidity and peace of mind.

Tax Planning
Tax-Efficient Investments
Optimize tax benefits through investments like ELSS (Equity-Linked Savings Scheme), tax-free bonds, and NPS (National Pension System).

Capital Gains Tax
Understand the tax implications of selling real estate or MF units. Plan strategically to minimize tax outflows.

Professional Guidance
Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
Consult a Certified Financial Planner to customize your retirement plan. They can provide personalized advice and strategies.

Retirement Transition
Phased Retirement
Consider a phased approach to retirement if you wish to gradually reduce work commitments. This can ease the financial transition.

Financial Review
Regularly review your investment portfolio and retirement plan. Adjustments may be needed based on changing financial goals or market conditions.

Conclusion
Your diversified asset portfolio lays a strong foundation for retirement. Focus on optimizing returns, managing risks, and aligning investments with your retirement goals. Seek professional guidance for a comprehensive retirement plan.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 17, 2024

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Hi, I am 33 year old married I have 1 child monthly earning 1.2lk Currently I have 2 home loan 46lack My saving is 5 lack in mutual fund Pf 8 lack Monthly sip 25k I want to retriment at age 55 Pleaese provide solution
Ans: You aim to retire at 55.

You have 22 years to prepare.

Let's review your current financial situation.

Evaluating Your Current Finances
You have two home loans totaling Rs. 46 lakhs.

You have Rs. 5 lakhs in mutual funds and Rs. 8 lakhs in PF.

You also invest Rs. 25k monthly in SIPs.

Your monthly earning is Rs. 1.2 lakhs.

Prioritising Debt Repayment
Focus on managing your home loans.

Consider making extra payments if possible.

Reducing debt will ease financial pressure.

Enhancing Your Savings
Your Rs. 25k monthly SIP is a good start.

Increasing your SIPs over time will boost your savings.

Aim to invest more as your income grows.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds can offer higher returns.

These funds are managed by experts.

They aim to outperform the market.

Importance of Regular Funds
Invest through a Certified Financial Planner.

Regular funds provide professional guidance.

This helps in making informed investment decisions.

Diversifying Your Portfolio
Diversify your investments to reduce risk.

Include a mix of equity and debt funds.

This balances growth and stability.

Reviewing Your Insurance Policies
If you hold LIC, ULIP, or investment-cum-insurance policies:

Consider surrendering them.

Reinvest in mutual funds for better returns.

Planning for Retirement Corpus
Calculate your required retirement corpus.

Consider inflation and future expenses.

A Certified Financial Planner can assist with this.

Creating an Emergency Fund
Establish an emergency fund.

It should cover at least 6 months of expenses.

This safeguards your financial plan.

Monitoring Your Investments
Regularly review your investment portfolio.

Adjust based on performance and goals.

Stay informed about market trends.

Seeking Professional Help
Consult a Certified Financial Planner.

They offer tailored advice.

Their expertise ensures your plan stays on track.

Final Insights
Retiring at 55 is achievable with careful planning.

Focus on reducing your home loans.

Boost your SIPs and diversify your portfolio.

Consider actively managed funds for better returns.

Regularly review and adjust your investments.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for guidance.

With determination and strategic planning, you can achieve your retirement goal.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7072 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Sep 28, 2024

Money
I am Sunil 36 years old male. I have my wife, daughter aged 4 and widow mother in my family who are dependent on me financially. I am a central government employee since last 18 years with a Salary of Rs 90000 per month. As I started earning at the age of 18 years, I wish to retire from my current organisation in June 2026 after 1 year and 9 months. I will be getting around Rs 50,00,000 at the time of retirement which includes my Provident fund and Leave encashment. I will get a monthly pension of Rs 30000 after that. Our current monthly expenses are Rs. 35000. I own a house but it requires some work which may cost around 20 Lakh from my retirement fund and I will be left with 30 Lakhs in hand after retirement in June 2026. I will have around 3 Lakh in Mutual Funds till that time and have Sukanya Smridhi Yojna for my daughter which is amount 118000 now and i am contributing Rs 2500 per month in that. I and my wife own Gold in the form of jewellery amounting to Rs 5 lakh (current value). I wish to know regarding am I taking a correct decision by leaving the govt job at the age of 38 ? Next I am willing to work in some other Organisation if I found it interesting. Thanks in advance for suitable advice.
Ans: Your situation is unique because you’ve started earning early and have built a solid foundation. Retiring at 38 is an ambitious goal, and it’s important to evaluate the long-term financial and lifestyle impact carefully.

1. Financial Preparedness for Early Retirement
You’ll receive Rs 50 lakh upon retirement, with Rs 20 lakh allocated for house repairs, leaving Rs 30 lakh. You will also receive a monthly pension of Rs 30,000, while your current expenses are Rs 35,000 per month. Let’s explore how this balance plays out.

Gap in Income and Expenses: Your pension will cover Rs 30,000 of your Rs 35,000 expenses. This leaves a gap of Rs 5,000, which might seem small, but over the long term, it can create pressure on your savings. Inflation will also push your monthly expenses higher.
Emergency Buffer: With Rs 30 lakh in savings after house repairs, you’ll need to make sure that these funds grow over time and aren’t depleted too quickly. If your monthly expenses grow due to inflation or unforeseen events, you may need to rely on this corpus sooner than expected.
It’s essential to plan for inflation and future financial needs. You may want to continue building your investment portfolio to ensure it grows in line with inflation.

2. Pension and Investment Strategy Post-Retirement
After retiring, you will still have around Rs 30 lakh, a pension of Rs 30,000, and Rs 3 lakh in mutual funds by 2026. Here’s what you can do to optimize your financial situation:

Investment of Retirement Corpus: After using Rs 20 lakh for house repairs, the remaining Rs 30 lakh should be invested wisely. Since you will still have a long time horizon post-retirement, consider investing a part of this amount in a mix of equity mutual funds and debt funds. Equity will help your money grow faster, while debt can provide stability.
Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana for Daughter’s Education: Your existing contribution of Rs 2,500 per month is a good move for your daughter’s future. This investment will grow over time, helping you meet her educational needs without straining other parts of your finances.
3. Evaluating Future Employment Opportunities
You mentioned that you are open to working in another organization if you find it interesting after retirement. This is a prudent approach:

Bridging Financial Gaps: If you find another job, even a part-time role, the extra income can help bridge the Rs 5,000 gap in your pension and expenses. It would also reduce the need to dip into your Rs 30 lakh corpus too early.
Flexibility and Job Satisfaction: Retirement doesn’t have to mean stopping work entirely. Finding a job or consultancy role that excites you can offer flexibility and satisfaction without the pressure of a full-time commitment.
4. Expenses and Financial Goals
Your current monthly expenses are Rs 35,000, which seems manageable within your pension and investment returns. However, you should consider these points for future financial security:

Children’s Education Costs: Your daughter is only 4 years old now, but her educational expenses will increase over time. Planning ahead for this increase, either through targeted investments or dedicated funds like Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana, will be crucial.
House Repair and Lifestyle Costs: Allocating Rs 20 lakh for house repairs is a significant expenditure. Make sure you have accounted for all repair costs, including possible overruns. Also, consider how any lifestyle changes post-retirement (such as travel or hobbies) may impact your financial plan.
5. Inflation and Long-Term Planning
Over the next few decades, inflation will erode the value of your pension and savings if not managed properly. Here’s how to counteract this:

Equity Investments for Growth: Since you’re retiring early, your retirement fund needs to last several decades. A portion of your Rs 30 lakh corpus should be invested in equity mutual funds to beat inflation. Consider actively managed funds for better returns in the long run.
Debt for Stability: While equity investments are important for growth, it’s also crucial to have some stability in your portfolio. A portion of your funds should be invested in debt mutual funds or fixed-income instruments for predictable returns and low risk.
6. Avoiding Over-Reliance on Pension
While your pension of Rs 30,000 will cover most of your monthly expenses, you cannot rely solely on it for the long term. With inflation increasing expenses, the Rs 30,000 may not be sufficient in 10 or 15 years.

Supplementing Pension with Investments: By carefully investing your Rs 30 lakh corpus and building a balanced portfolio, you can generate additional income to supplement your pension. This way, you won’t have to worry about future shortfalls in your monthly expenses.
7. Gold as a Financial Asset
You own gold worth Rs 5 lakh, which is a good backup asset. However, gold should be viewed more as an emergency resource rather than a primary investment.

Avoid Over-Reliance on Gold: While gold can provide financial security, it doesn’t generate income or high returns over time like mutual funds or other growth investments. Keep this gold for future needs or emergencies, but don’t depend on it for regular expenses.
8. Considering Long-Term Financial Security
Since you’ll be retiring at a young age, it’s important to think about long-term financial security:

Health and Insurance Costs: With early retirement, medical expenses could become significant over time. Ensure you have adequate health insurance for yourself and your family. Consider a term life insurance policy to protect your dependents in case of any unforeseen event.
Building Emergency Fund: You’ll need to set aside a part of your Rs 30 lakh corpus for emergencies. This fund should cover at least 6 to 12 months of expenses, including unexpected health or lifestyle costs.
9. Active vs. Passive Investments
When investing the remaining Rs 30 lakh, it’s better to avoid passive investment options like index funds, which merely track the market. You’ll need more active management to ensure consistent growth, especially considering your early retirement.

Disadvantages of Index Funds: Index funds can underperform during bear markets since they mirror the entire market. Actively managed funds can adapt and outperform under changing market conditions. Given your situation, an actively managed portfolio will be more beneficial in delivering higher returns over the long term.
Final Insights
Sunil, your decision to retire at 38 is bold and achievable with the right planning. You’ve built a strong financial base, but there are key steps to ensure that your retirement is smooth and stress-free.

Invest your Rs 30 lakh corpus in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds to ensure both growth and stability.
Supplement your pension with additional income, either through part-time work or investment returns.
Plan for inflation, future expenses, and emergencies with a diversified investment strategy.
Keep your financial goals in mind, continue contributing to your daughter’s education fund, and ensure that your family’s long-term security is well-protected.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |666 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Oct 02, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 02, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I manage to buy five house from where I get Study rental income of 1.2 lakh(net worth of the house is about 4cr). I deposited FD of 80 lakh on my wife's name thru which she gets steady income to pay rent of 30k, and school fee of the kids and house hold expenses. I don't have any loans but bought two more flats for which I may need to take loan for 1CR soon. I have about 50 lakhs in PF, 50 Lakhs in mutual funds, 10 lakhs in shares, 16 lakhs in gold investments. Since I don't have any monthly expenses as of now, all my salary 2L+ I am inviting in different assets in the market. I am 48 year old. Somehow still I am not getting conference to retire yet. I need your help to make me feel comfortable where I stand if I leave my job today. My house hold expenses are 50k. Kids already set for higher studies not more than 30 lakh. From two flats I am bought, I can cancel one flat and get only 50 lakh loan. Please help.
Ans: Hello;

I can see 2 factors that may force you to delay your retirement:

1. Kids higher education+ wedding expenses are underestimated.

2. So long as you have a loan, you need to have salary income to fund the EMIs.

Rental income may help to enhance your corpus or prepay the loan but shouldn't be substituted as source for loan repayment in my view.

If you don't take loan then I can say with some degree of comfort that you are retirement ready but more allocation for kids future expenses is a must(1 Cr+) and also the term insurance cover(1.5-2 Cr) for self and healthcare insurance for the family(Min 50L) are highly desirable.

Feel free to revert in case you have any queries.

Happy Investing!!

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 25 year old girl. I have good job and happy career wise. I am in a relationship with a boy who is very career oriented, and runs from the marriage topic also. My parents are now behind to me to get married. I am also interested in getting married and settle in my. When I told my boyfriend about this. He gets furious. He don’t want to communicate with me on this. He don’t give any attention to my problem. He says if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done. Now everything is on me.I am very confused what to do. I can’t tell my parents about him, as he is not ready. I also have a fear, that this boy is not going to marry me, so am I leaving good boys which my parents are showing me. Am I already late...what if I don’t get anyone, will I have to compromise in my life If I will delay. Please help!!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me start with the most important thing- you are far from late. You are only 25; I would say this is your time to focus on your career and live a little. But if you are ready for marriage, then that is great too. But do not ever think that it's too late. It isn't even a little late. If anything, in today's day and age, it's early.

Now coming to your boyfriend- have you ever asked him if he has any plans to get married or if he intends to continue this relationship without ever committing to marriage? It's important that you discuss this. And his dialogue, "if you really love me then you will love and you will do whatever needed to be done" doesn't make any sense because you can tell him the same. I suggest you speak to him openly and let him know that you want to get married- if not right now, but somewhere down the line you want marriage. If his intentions are not the same, he should let you know so that you can move on and find someone who shares the same outlook as you. And, to be honest, not paying attention to your problems is concerning. In a relationship, two people should help each other out in times of trouble.

Please have the talk and reconsider the relationship according to how it goes.

Best Wishes.

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I (27M) have recently started searching for prospects through Arranged Marriage Platforms. I got connected with a Lady (25F) & we seemed to be getting along quite well, through chatting & phone calls. When we were planning to meet in person, for our first Date, she picked a place which is one of the most expensive ones in our City & just a single Date over there may cost us around ?10 Thousand. Though, I am earning pretty well (?30Lakh/Annum), I am reluctant to spend so much amount on our First Date, whilst we are still in the process of getting to know each other. If I'd been Married to her, I'd be willing to spend that much for celebrating our Wedding Anniversary. But this is just our First Date & I am not even sure whether we'd be getting Married or not. The Date is scheduled for next Month & I'm still in Dilemma, whether I should request her to meet up at a more affordable venue or ask her to split the expenses, equally or proportionate to our Earning (She earns just around ?6 Lakh/Annum). I'm afraid that being so Straight-forward & upfront about Money Matters, at this stage, might give her a negative impression about me. She seems to be having a lot of Materialistic Expectations from me, as I earn much more than her & she has been hinting me about her expectations such as Expensive Gifts & Vacations abroad. Even though I am a person who's very cautious & disciplined with Money, I'd be glad to spend generously, for the happiness of my Life Partner, but not at this stage, when we haven't even committed to each other. Please suggest me, how can I handle this situation without coming off as too miserly? Moreover, I'm also planning to discuss some important matters, such as how we'd be handling our Finances in the Future. But I am worried, whether it would be appropriate to bring up this matter, in our very first personal meet-up? I'm afraid that she might Judge me as too Money-minded & I might lose out on a suitable match. Please Help me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your concerns are completely valid. Splurging, especially at this stage, is unnecessary. Good connections can be built anywhere; expensive places play no part in it. Also, being disciplined about money is the right approach.

I understand that you are worried about coming off miserly, but you are not. You are merely being responsible. You can suggest another more affordable place and see how she reacts. If she is okay with it, then great. If not, then you should rethink this match. You don't want to marry someone who is in it for the money. Now, coming to discussing how to split the finances, I would suggest you wait a bit. A first date might not be the right place for it. If all goes well, and you think this woman can be a suitable match, bring it up politely on the second or third date, to have clarity on it early on. For instance, you can casually start by giving an example of a friend who recently got married- something like, "Rohan's wife takes care of the groceries and stuff, while he pays off the bill." And then mention that you were wondering how you two should split it if you happen to get married. It is a reasonable question and should not show you off as money-minded. It's always best to discuss these important matters in the initial stages to avoid any conflict in the future.

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

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Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 20, 2024
Relationship
Hello, I am married for 4 years. And someone from my office loves me. He wants me to love him also even if I am married. That office colleague take too much efforts for me, he listens everything about me, he cares about me. But my husband only focused on his work. So I want love, that boy is the best for the love. But loving another man even if you have husband is cheating. I don't know but I feel that I want both of them and I am confused about it. I also love that man from my office. I am so much confused.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are feeling undervalued by your husband but the "I want both of them" approach has never worked out well for anyone, especially in an exclusive relationship. You have a few options here-
You speak to your husband about how the lack of attention from him is affecting you and work on it with him.
Tell him openly about this man and let him know that there's a slight chance that you might develop feelings for him if your husband continues to pay all his focus on work and none on you. This could shake him up from his slumber and help him realize that he has not been fair to you.
Opt for separation- if you do not have an open marriage, you cannot have both of the men. It isn't moral to do this behind your partner's back.

I strongly suggest you consider doing the first option. Communicate your feelings of loneliness to your husband and seek help from a marriage counselor. It can do wonders for your relationship.

Best Wishes.

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Health
Hello Dr.Shakeeb, I’m a 55 yrs male, had stents implanted in 2020 because of bad food habits and lack of regular movement, things have improved since then with better control on food habits. My problem is belly fat which is embarrassing and my weight is 77kgs, I was on knee braces for last 30 days bcoz of a slight ligament strain, so not able to do strenuous exercises. Pls suggest a workable regime for belly fat elimination considering my case history.
Ans: Hello Sir. Thank you for your query. Reducing belly fat requires a combination of calorie control, low-impact exercises, and lifestyle changes, tailored to your health history. Start by maintaining a slight calorie deficit of 200-300 kcal/day, focusing on a balanced diet rich in lean proteins, complex carbs, and healthy fats while avoiding sugary and processed foods. Drink 2-3 liters of water daily to stay hydrated. Engage in low-impact activities like brisk walking for 30-40 minutes daily, which is gentle on the knees and heart-friendly. Incorporate simple core-strengthening exercises such as pelvic tilts, seated knee lifts, and standing side bends to activate abdominal muscles without straining your knees. As your ligament strain heals, consult Physiotherapist about gradually increasing exercise intensity, including light resistance training. Prioritize 7-8 hours of quality sleep and manage stress through mindfulness to lower cortisol levels, which can contribute to belly fat. Small, frequent meals can keep your metabolism active, and tracking progress through waist measurements rather than just weight will help you stay motivated. These adjustments will promote gradual, sustainable fat loss while ensuring safety and heart health. I wish you healthy and active lifestyle.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Relationship
Dear Anu Krishna, I'm 48 married with 2 kids daughter in 10th and son in 5th. Wife works as a VP in a large firm. Since post COVID there has been almost no intimacy. I tried to talk to her and she says that I'm a sex maniac. I said once in six months at least she says not interested. She s fit in good health exercises and all tests are ok. Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. We go on tours and trips and functions and everything externally is normal. I buy her gifts and we go out to restaurants etc. Everything except intimacy. I've tried to talk about 50 times but she doesn't want to talk not seek any help. Infact the signs of this started from 2016. She's 43 now. I m thinking of now seperating from her. Im really fed up. Nothing is working, and she's adamant. I've pulled on for kids but maybe I can be together for a few more years. I can't live with her forever. You generally ask people to get help and talk etc which is done and tried and yet no solution. Can you agree for once that there is a genuine case to not continue It's my life I know but I think I'm 100% right and that i have hit the end of the road. Inhold you in high regard hence writing to you Sameer
Ans: Dear Sachin,
Thank you for your kind and respectful acknowledgement of me.
Now,
You wrote:
Last year my friend's wife informed me about their private WhatsApp messages and I was shocked. - What was shocking? You have not shared this!

Lack of interest in sex can be due to:
- change in hormones
- boredom in the bedroom routine
- lack of intimacy outside the bedroom

Now, what I must agree on is something that we can keep aside, yeah? My job is to try and guide people to put things together of course, if that's what they want. You seem to have already believed that nothing can work; how can anyone guide you? When you claim that you nothing is working, I will still ask you, "How do you know that you have tried everything to know that nothing is working?"

Also, if you have decided to separate, what more can I suggest? You feel that you are 100% right, BUT you know what: If you actually were 100% right, you would not be here checking in with me...Just playing the mirror here for you.
I still would suggest that you work on your marriage; communicate and rebuild...it's a long path BUT the fruits of it can be amazing!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi , I am married 2.5 years ago to a man , who is very less in education compared to me , this marriage was done as a compromise or in worries about my future as my parents are no more .. He and his family is average in all case ..cleanliness, hygeiene , social relations, religious practices , education , self respect , financial well being ... all these things are either meaningless for them or they vary poor in those . Nor even they have moral values , as they have cheated me by hiding my husband's age to me . I told them that we strongly believe in astrology and will not go without it . Still they gave me wrong information about his age and he is very elder to me .As I am well educated , employed and self dependant. So they somehow trapped me for marriage. After 3-4 months of marriage my husband was diagnosed (a type of oral cancer) caused due to consuming gutkha and ciggarettes. He lied and denied to have any disease still i started his medication . In some time I lost my job also still continued his treatment , tried to help him in his business , it made a big impact on my sqving too :( But because of his careless business practice , it didnt work for him. Also I paid many times his car's EMI . And supported in all types of expenses be it house hold , his medication or business . He has parental properties in village but they are hardly using it for their own use and wanted to use my money till now . As I now denied to give more money , now they have started looking to sell or rent / lease their property for their use . I have spent lot of money on them , I hardly believe they will try to pay it out fully to me or give some part of property for my safe future now :( I am now 43 and have no children . At other hand my brother is also alone( even being his wife and 2 sons) Wife is quarrelsome and has a history of false case of dowry on my brother and due to this my brother and my family sufferered a lot , its been 20 years now . But this has tortured my brother me and my mother a lot in past .Sis-in-law never let my nephews to stay or sit for some time with us (me or my mother ). And now as my both nephews have grown up my sis-in-law told them lie as if she was victim and , we were the culprit . Children were innocent , they didnt knew the fact , hence taking mother's side now. I thought that as my sis-in-law doesn't like us so unwillingly I decided to marry with a compromise , thinking that after my marriage all will be fine in brother's home , But nothing improved. And now my brother , after my marriage is emotionally alone at home , I feel very sorry about this . I want to go back and take care of my brother , as now he is 53 and emotionally very weak , diabetic and suffering other disease too . Sis-in-law is least interested in his health , care .. so as her children. Going back to parental (it is my father's home, so i also have legal right on that property )home and leaving husband is not so easy, .. Elder Nephew and sis-in-law can become very violent as they are always . I dont want to endanger my brother's health and if I dont go then also .. brother is taking care of him alone ..that too very casually ..how can i make all things correct . Please suggest .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Hello! Excuse me...
Take care of yourself first before trying to save someone else.
Your brother is a grown man and knows what is to be done. Allow him to process his life's situations. By stepping into it especially in your state of mind will make things worse. Also, if you want guidance on this, kindly post another question else it will get confusing for all of us here.

First think of what you must do to make things better for yourself. Ask yourself whether you are interested in continuing the marriage. A lot of your time, money and energy has been invested in it and based on a lie. You have no clue what else they have lied about...do you want a marriage that is standing on a bed of lies? is it possible for you to trust your husband and his family all over again? What can they do so that you place trust in them again?

If this is not possible, the you are in a place where you need to make decisions about your marriage and your life in general.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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