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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Dipongkar Question by Dipongkar on Jan 28, 2024Hindi
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Hi sir, I am 35 years old and below are my mf portfolio with 10% stepup annualy. My goal is to buy car of around 10Land sibling marriage help with 15- 20L in next 5 years. Currently I am investing around 7.6k monthly but can stretch it to 15k. Please let me know what changes do i have to do towards my goal. Or its ok? 1. Icici prudential bluechip fund=1k 2. Motilal oswal midcap fund=1.65k 3. Nippon india gold saving fund=1.1k 4. Parag parekh flexi cap fund=1.65k 5. Uti nifty 50 index fund= 1.1k 6. Nippon india small cap fund= 1.1k

Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards achieving your financial goals. Let's evaluate your current mutual fund portfolio and make adjustments to align it with your objectives of buying a car and assisting with your sibling's marriage expenses.

Assessing Current Portfolio: Your current portfolio comprises a mix of bluechip, midcap, flexi cap, and small cap funds, along with a gold savings fund and an index fund. While diversified, it's essential to ensure that your investments are optimized for your specific goals.
Goal-Based Investing: Given your goal of purchasing a car and assisting with your sibling's marriage expenses in the next 5 years, it's crucial to prioritize stability and liquidity in your investments. Consider reallocating a portion of your portfolio towards debt or hybrid funds to minimize volatility and ensure capital preservation.
Increasing Monthly Investments: Since you have the flexibility to increase your monthly investments to 15k, consider diverting the additional funds towards debt-oriented mutual funds or recurring deposit schemes. This can help build a separate corpus earmarked for your short-term goals.
Rebalancing Portfolio: Review your existing funds and consider reallocating or reducing investments in high-risk funds such as midcap and small cap funds. Instead, focus on funds with a more conservative approach or those specifically designed for short-term goals.
Exploring Debt Instruments: Explore options such as debt mutual funds, liquid funds, or short-term bond funds for your short-term goals. These instruments offer relatively lower risk and greater liquidity, making them suitable for achieving goals within a 5-year timeframe.
Consulting a Financial Advisor: Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner to develop a customized investment strategy tailored to your goals, risk tolerance, and investment horizon. They can provide personalized recommendations and guidance to help you achieve your financial objectives effectively.
By reassessing your portfolio, increasing monthly investments, and focusing on stability and liquidity, you can work towards fulfilling your goals of purchasing a car and assisting with your sibling's marriage expenses within the desired timeframe.
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Omkeshwar

Omkeshwar Singh  | Answer  |Ask -

Head, Rank MF - Answered on May 26, 2021

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I have below investment in MFs and I want to accumulate 3 crore by 2030, I want to invest 50K monthly (currently 27500 SIP and rest lump sum invest in other funds based on condition). Please suggest if to continue or shift to other options. Also any new funds to add to have aggressively diversified portfolio. MF Name Avg. NAV Amount Invested No. of Units Current Value Invest mode Nippon India Gilt Securities Fund (Growth) 29,81 25000,00 838,711 25018,08 Lump sum Nippon India Income Fund (Growth) 67,54 95000,00 1406,554 98488,46 5000 SIP (monthly) Axis Bluechip Fund - Growth 31,18 160000,00 5130,554 198603,74 10000 SIP (monthly) Axis Multicap Fund - GROWTH 12,44 95000,00 7633,650 118550,58 Lump Sum Kotak Gold fund growth 20,58 17500,00 850,325 15735,18 Lump sum Kotak NASDAQ 100 Fund of Fund- Growth 9,88 25000,00 2529,782 23889,74 Lump sum Mirae Asset Emerging Bluechip Fund - Growth Plan 56,91 107500,00 1888,862 147234,90 2500 SIP (monthly) it was 10K SIP, but reduced later by MF house Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund- Growth Plan 52,24 75000,00 1435,544 93987,94 5000 SIP (monthly) NIPPON INDIA MULTI ASSET FUND-GROWTH PLAN 10,51 50000,00 4758,436 53394,41 Lump Sum     650000,00   774903,03  
Ans: Rs 1,20,000 investment in equity oriented funds per month is required to create a corpus of Rs 3 cr in 10 years.

Both schemes of Axis and Mirae along with Kotak Nasdaq are good schemes to be continued

Debt funds will not be able to generate the kind of returns required to achieve the corpus

..Read more

Dev

Dev Ashish  | Answer  |Ask -

MF Expert, Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2023Hindi
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Money
hi, Im investing monthly around Rs 12.5K in MF, as per the following - Canara Robeco Small capMF - Rs 2.5K, PGIM Mid cap oppurtunities - Rs 2.5K, Tata Digital - Rs 2.5K, Quant Active - Rs 5K. I am intending to increase monthly investment in MF from present Rs 12.5 k to Rs 50K & needed a corpus of at least 1.25 Cr in next 10 years. can you check my portfolio & suggest for any changes or the same appears to be in order
Ans: While the amount that you now wish to increase your monthly SIPs to, i.e. Rs 50,000 would be a reasonably good figure to achieve Rs 1.25 Cr in 10 years, the choice of funds needs a thought.

First of all, nothing is known about your risk appetite. But assuming you belong to at least the Moderately Aggressive bucket, you should stick to the following fund categories and allocations -

Largecap Index Funds - 10K
Flexicap Funds - 12.5-15K
Large&Midcap Funds - 12.5-15K
Midcap Funds - 5-7.5K
Smallcap Funds - 5-7.5K

In my view, you don't need sectoral or thematic funds (like the one you have) in your portfolio. The above-suggested fund allocation will be sufficient to help you reach your goal. Also, make sure you increase your monthly SIPs each year as your income increases.

Also, just targeting a future amount may not be enough. It is always advisable to link all your investments to your real financial goals and follow a goal-based investment philosophy.

And if you have other goals that also need investment and you are unsure how to allocate to them all, it is suggested that you get in touch with an investment advisor with full details to better plan your finances.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2024Hindi
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I am 50 working professional. Below is my MF portfolio . 1. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund 2.6 lakhs + 10K SIP 2. PGIM India Midcap Opportunities Fund 1.85 L Value + 5K SIP 3. Quant ELSS Tax Saver Fund 80K 4. Axis Small Cap Fund 1.85 Lakhs Value + 5K SIP 5. Axis Gold Fund 75K Value + 5K SIP 6. Canara Robeco Bluechip Equity Fund 70K 7. Quant Multi Asset Fund 50K 8. SBI Magnum Income Fund 50K 9. ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund 50K 10. Quant Active Fund 50K 11. ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund 25K I want to build a retirement corpus of 2 crore in 10 years. I am planning to invest around 50K every month. Plus i have. surplus of 4Lakks which i want to invest in few of the MFs above. Planning to exit Canara Robeco bluechip and Axis Small cap soon. Please suggest if any changes you want me to do.
Ans: Given your goal of building a retirement corpus of 2 crores in 10 years and your current portfolio, here are some suggestions:

Increase SIP Contributions: Consider increasing your SIP amounts in high-performing funds like Parag Parikh Flexi Cap and PGIM India Midcap Opportunities Fund, which have shown good potential for long-term growth.

Review and Consolidate: Evaluate the performance of all your funds and consider consolidating your portfolio to fewer, well-performing funds to simplify management and potentially enhance returns.

Focus on Quality: Prioritize funds with strong track records, consistent performance, and experienced fund management teams. Consider adding large-cap and diversified equity funds for stability and balanced growth.

Asset Allocation: Ensure a balanced asset allocation across equity, debt, and gold funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon. Reallocate surplus funds strategically to maintain a diversified portfolio.

Regular Review: Monitor your portfolio regularly and make adjustments as needed based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals.

Consider consulting with a financial advisor for personalized advice tailored to your specific circumstances and goals.

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir I’m 39 Male. I’m investing in MF from start of this year for buying a house and for retirement. I’m planning to invest long for next 15-20 yrs. Also I have 3-4 loans which will get finished next year 2025 end. So I’m planning to start increase my MF amount considerably. Please review my portfolio and let me know if I have to remove, add or make any changes Motilal Oswal Nasdaq 100 fund direct growth 1500 PM UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund 1000 PM ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund Direct Growth 1000 PM HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund Direct Growth 1000 PM HDFC Midcap Oppurtunities Fund Direct Plan Growth 1000 PM AXIS Small Cap Fund Direct Growth 1000 PM JM Value Fund Direct Growth 1000 PM Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Direct 1000 PM Nippon India Corporate Bond Fund Direct Growth plan 1000 PM P2P investment 3500 PM for 3 yrs at 15% fixed return
Ans: It's excellent to see your commitment towards investing for both short-term goals like buying a house and long-term goals like retirement. Let's review your portfolio and suggest any adjustments:
1. Motilal Oswal Nasdaq 100 Fund Direct Growth: This fund provides exposure to the top 100 companies listed on the Nasdaq stock exchange, offering diversification and growth potential in the global tech sector. It can be a suitable addition for long-term wealth accumulation.
2. UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund: Investing in an index fund like UTI Nifty 50 offers exposure to the top 50 companies in the Indian equity market. It provides stability and diversification, complementing your other equity investments.
3. ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund Direct Growth: Bluechip funds focus on large-cap stocks with strong fundamentals, making them relatively less volatile. It's a prudent choice for stability and capital preservation.
4. HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund Direct Growth: This fund dynamically manages its equity exposure based on market conditions, offering a blend of growth and downside protection. It can be suitable for investors seeking a balanced approach.
5. HDFC Midcap Opportunities Fund Direct Plan Growth and AXIS Small Cap Fund Direct Growth: These funds provide exposure to mid-cap and small-cap segments, respectively, offering growth potential but with higher volatility. Ensure you're comfortable with the risk associated with these segments.
6. JM Value Fund Direct Growth and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Direct: Both these funds follow value investing principles and focus on investing in fundamentally sound companies at reasonable valuations. They can be suitable for long-term wealth creation.
7. Nippon India Corporate Bond Fund Direct Growth: Investing in a corporate bond fund provides stability and income generation through fixed-income securities. It's a prudent choice for diversification and managing risk.
8. P2P Investment: Peer-to-peer lending can offer attractive returns but comes with higher risk compared to traditional investments. Ensure you've assessed the risk-reward profile and have a diversified portfolio to mitigate risks.
Index Funds:
• Index funds offer broad market exposure by tracking a specific index, such as the Nifty 50 or the Nasdaq 100. They provide diversification and low-cost access to the market, making them suitable for long-term investors.
• However, index funds are passively managed, meaning they aim to replicate the performance of the underlying index rather than outperforming it. While this reduces management fees and turnover costs, it also limits the potential for alpha generation.
• As a result, index funds may not capture opportunities for outperformance during market upswings or provide downside protection during downturns. Investors seeking higher returns may prefer actively managed funds that aim to outperform the market through strategic stock selection and portfolio management.
Direct Funds:
• Direct funds allow investors to purchase mutual fund units directly from the asset management company, bypassing intermediaries like distributors or brokers. This can result in lower expense ratios compared to regular funds, as there are no distributor commissions involved.
• However, direct fund investors are responsible for conducting their own research, selecting suitable funds, and monitoring their investments. This requires a certain level of financial literacy and investment expertise to make informed decisions.
• On the other hand, investing through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) who holds the necessary credentials and expertise can provide valuable guidance and support. A CFP can help investors navigate the complexities of the financial markets, select appropriate investment strategies, and optimize their portfolio allocations based on individual goals and risk tolerance.
Considering your investment portfolio, it's essential to evaluate the role of both index funds and direct funds in achieving your financial objectives. While index funds offer cost-effective market exposure, direct funds provide the potential for active management and outperformance.
As a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), I recommend a balanced approach that incorporates both index funds and direct funds based on your risk profile and investment goals. Periodic reviews of your portfolio and ongoing guidance from a CFP can help ensure that your investment strategy remains aligned with your evolving needs and objectives.
Remember, investing is a journey, and it's essential to stay informed, stay disciplined, and seek professional guidance when needed. With the right approach and support, you can navigate the financial markets with confidence and work towards achieving your long-term financial goals.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
Money
Iam under debt of Rs 10lac and my salary is 23k per month. How to come out from debt and i need to get debt free. So, please guide me.
Ans: Being in debt can be overwhelming, especially on a limited monthly income. But with disciplined planning and commitment, you can gradually achieve financial freedom. Here’s a detailed guide to help you pay off your Rs 10 lakh debt and build a stable financial foundation.

Step 1: Calculate Your Monthly Expenses and Set a Budget
Start by understanding your cash flow. Track every expense to get a clear picture of your spending.

Essential Expenses: These include rent, food, utilities, and any other basic needs.

Discretionary Expenses: Cut back on non-essentials like dining out, entertainment, and shopping.

Savings and Debt Repayment: Dedicate any amount left after essential expenses towards debt repayment.

Tip: Keep a written budget or use a mobile app to monitor your expenses. Reducing discretionary spending will help increase the amount available for debt repayment.

Step 2: Increase Income if Possible
Boosting income, even slightly, can significantly accelerate debt repayment. Here are some ideas:

Freelance or Part-Time Work: If possible, look for freelance work in areas you’re skilled in, like writing, tutoring, graphic design, or programming.

Overtime or Extra Shifts: If your employer offers overtime, consider taking it on to increase your income.

Sell Unwanted Items: Sell items you no longer need, such as electronics, clothes, or furniture, to generate additional cash.

Increasing your income, even temporarily, can help you pay off your debt faster.

Step 3: Create a Debt Repayment Plan
List all your debts, including outstanding amounts, interest rates, and due dates. Here are two strategies for paying them off:

Snowball Method: Pay off smaller debts first to gain momentum, then tackle larger ones. This provides psychological motivation by clearing debts faster.

Avalanche Method: Focus on debts with the highest interest rates first. This method saves more on interest in the long term.

Choose the strategy that suits you best and start making extra payments each month.

Step 4: Prioritize High-Interest Loans and EMI Payments
Debt with higher interest can escalate quickly, so prioritize clearing them first. Some common examples include:

Credit Card Debt: If part of your debt is on credit cards, try to pay it down as quickly as possible. Credit card interest rates are often the highest.

Personal Loans: If your Rs 10 lakh debt includes high-interest loans, prioritize these over lower-interest obligations.

Contact your creditors to explore if they can reduce your interest rate temporarily. Any reduction helps ease the debt burden.

Step 5: Consider Debt Consolidation Options
Debt consolidation combines multiple loans into a single, lower-interest loan, making it easier to manage. Options include:

Personal Loans: Look for a lower-interest personal loan to pay off existing debts. This can reduce the overall interest burden.

Balance Transfer: If a major portion of your debt is on a credit card, look for a card offering a low or zero-interest balance transfer option.

Be cautious of fees associated with consolidation options and make sure to do thorough research. Consolidation can simplify payments and potentially save you money on interest.

Step 6: Start a Small Emergency Fund
While repaying debt is crucial, having a small emergency fund (around Rs 5,000–Rs 10,000) can help you avoid additional debt. This fund is for unexpected expenses like medical emergencies or car repairs.

Building a small emergency cushion ensures you don’t rely on credit if unplanned expenses arise. Once your debt is cleared, you can gradually build a larger emergency fund.

Step 7: Avoid Taking on New Debt
Avoid credit cards, loans, or any new debt until you’ve repaid the current amount. New debt will delay your goal of becoming debt-free.

Instead of borrowing, prioritize saving for any purchases. Practicing patience with spending decisions will help prevent additional debt.

Step 8: Automate and Regularize Payments
Set up automated payments for your debt EMIs and monthly bills. Automation helps prevent missed payments, which can incur penalties and hurt your credit score.

If automated payments aren’t possible, set reminders to ensure timely payments.

Step 9: Track Progress and Stay Motivated
Track your progress each month and celebrate small wins, such as reaching specific milestones in debt reduction.

Seeing your debt balance decrease, even gradually, can keep you motivated.

Step 10: Seek Professional Guidance If Needed
If you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking guidance from a Certified Financial Planner (CFP). They can help you devise a structured plan tailored to your specific financial situation.

A CFP can also provide personalized advice on managing and reducing debt efficiently.

Finally
Your determination to achieve a debt-free life is commendable. By following these steps and staying disciplined, you’ll gradually pay off your debt and move toward financial freedom. Remember, small steps today will lead to a financially secure tomorrow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6995 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

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Money
Dear sir/Ma'am, I want to invest long term mutual fund for my daughter marriage. She is now 15 years old and i want to invest for 10 years, please advised me which mutual fund best for me. My monthly investment amount is Rs. 5000.00/- please reply soon as soon possible.
Ans: Investing for your daughter's marriage is a thoughtful goal. With 10 years to grow your investment, mutual funds offer a practical approach to help achieve this objective. A disciplined investment of Rs 5000 per month can build a substantial corpus over time. Here’s a comprehensive guide to structuring this investment for long-term success.

Choosing the Right Type of Mutual Funds
For a 10-year horizon, equity mutual funds are suitable. They have the potential for higher returns over time. Considering a diversified mix of equity categories could balance growth with stability.

Equity-Oriented Funds: With their higher growth potential, equity funds can be ideal for long-term goals like marriage. Large-cap funds or diversified equity funds with a mix of large- and mid-cap investments can provide relative stability.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These funds allocate a portion to both equity and debt. This approach reduces risk while still capturing growth. Hybrid funds could be a good option to add stability.

Avoid Index Funds: While index funds are popular, they lack flexibility in managing market changes. Actively managed funds, however, allow fund managers to navigate market fluctuations, potentially offering higher returns.

Benefits of Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
When considering direct funds, you miss out on expert guidance, which is vital for long-term investments. Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) ensure you get continuous support, fund reviews, and performance tracking. They help rebalance your portfolio when required, maximizing your returns and managing risks effectively.

SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) for Steady Growth
Setting up a monthly SIP of Rs 5000 is a practical approach. SIPs allow you to invest consistently, regardless of market highs and lows, which averages out costs over time. This approach, known as “rupee cost averaging,” helps reduce the impact of volatility.

Tax Implications on Mutual Fund Investments
Understanding tax rules on mutual funds is important.

Equity Mutual Funds: Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh attract a 12.5% tax on Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG). Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both STCG and LTCG are taxed based on your income tax slab.

These tax rates are subject to change, so it’s crucial to monitor tax policies periodically. You may consult a tax advisor for updates and efficient tax planning.

Key Investment Tips to Reach Your Goal
Consistency: Stay disciplined with your SIPs to leverage compounding. Missing contributions can reduce the growth potential.

Regular Monitoring: Review fund performance at least once a year. This ensures the selected funds are meeting your expectations and objectives.

Professional Guidance: Consult a CFP periodically to align your investments with your financial plan. They can advise on any required adjustments to optimize your portfolio.

Adjusting for Inflation and Goal Cost
Over time, inflation will impact the cost of your daughter’s marriage. Your CFP can help you estimate the future value and adjust your SIP amount if needed. Gradually increasing the SIP amount can help you meet the target despite inflation.

Final Insights
Your commitment to this goal is commendable. By selecting the right mix of funds, maintaining discipline with SIPs, and staying informed on tax and fund performance, you’ll be well on your way to achieving the desired corpus for your daughter’s marriage.

Invest with confidence, plan regularly, and stay on track toward building a secure financial future for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 08, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello! I am looking to change my career. Currently, I work as a DTP Operator and Graphic Designer in my maternal uncle's offsset printing press business. My father passed away 8 years ago, so my maternal uncle has taken on the responsibility of me, my mother, and my brother. I have been working under them for the past 5 years as a favor of them. However, there has been no financial growth or development in my current position. But maternal uncle asks me to continue to work with them as their childrens are out of their Offset Printing profession. So they expect me to handle the business in future. But this will not happen. Also I'm not sure of the future scope of Offset Printing Press profession due to digitization. Though my mind is telling me to change profession, as of my financial condtion is weak I would have to start again from zero. I am feeling unsure about what to do?
Ans: Hello.
Presently you are working as a DTP operator and Graphic Designer with your uncle. It seems that due to financial problems, your uncle might be taking undue advantage of your situation and taking it granted that you must work for him and his printing press as a bull for 24x7. You said, your uncle's children are not interested in running the printing press. Hence he is expecting to handle the business in the future. I think this is a golden time to negotiate with your uncle from a business point of view and put some terms and conditions in front of him. You must overtake the printing press fully in your control and share some part of the profit with him. Remember, you are young, have solid experience of 5 years and the most important thing is that, your uncle is not dependent on you only. This makes the situation in your favor. If your uncle is not ready to hand over the printing press business to you, then you have an option to search for another job and tell your uncle also in this regard. I can fairly say, your uncle will not think to lose you under any condition. In life, nothing is impossible, With the hands-on experience of 5 years, you may job in an advertising company and a reputed publishing house. Related to your insecurity feeling, even though you are working with your uncle, you are feeling insecure. Hence either force your uncle to accept your terms and conditions or leave him without any hesitation. Try with new people, new organizations, and new opportunities. A little change will make a big change in your life.
Best of luck for your bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
I (27M) am well Educated & well settled in a High-paying Job. Tall, Handsome & Fit. I am a Sociable & Outgoing person, but I never had a Girlfriend because I believe in having an Arranged Marriage with a Girl from the same Community, who's Family background is known to Parents. I strongly believe in abstaining from any kind of Sexual Intimacy until I get Married, due to my Personal, Moral, Ethical, Emotional as well as Religious & Socio-cultural Values. I'd want to experience even my First Kiss, only after getting Married to my Life Partner. And obviously, I expect my Future Life Partner also to Share similar Values. I cannot settle for Marriage with a Girl who had Pre-marital Sex (or even Kissed) anyone else in a Romantic Relationship, prior to Marriage. I would Reject such a Girl, however Beautiful, Well-Educated & Well-Earning she might be (all other Qualities being Subjective). Now, my Family has started looking up suitable Brides for me, within my Community. The Problem is that most Girls of our Community, in this Generation, are Well Educated & Financially Independent, staying in Cities, away from Parents & most of them, probably had Romantic Relationship(s) & experienced Physical Intimacy, at any Base Level. I know this by closely observing & discussing with many Girls of my Community (including my Female Cousins, Female Friends & Neighbours etc). They all are ridiculing me for my Preferences & advising me to forsake my Values, as they are Outdated in this Age. Now, I am Worried that I might never get to Marry a Girl who shares my Values. My greatest Fear is not ending up Unmarried, but getting Married to a Woman who lies about her Past (I consider it as Cheating). Can you please advise me on, how can I be absolutely Sure that a Girl is an Un-Kissed Virgin? How do I bring up this topic with any Girl before Marriage & ask her, without coming off as Creepy? How can I be Sure whether the Girl is being absolutely Honest about her Past or not? What are some other ways to find out about the Past of a Girl, apart from having an open conversation with herself? Please advise me regarding this, my Heart is not letting me foresake my Values, which are my Core Principles. I am willing to compromise on some other Qualities i.e., I'd happily settle down with a Girl who's Below Average in terms of Looks, Education & even Unemployed, as long as I can be Sure that she's an Un-Kissed Virgin. How can I be absolutely Sure of that?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You don't have to forsake your values based on others' opinions of it. If it makes you happy, you should stick to it. Having said that, you cannot force the same values on others. I understand you want a partner who has a similar mindset. The only way to get what you want is an open conversation- when you speak to a match, you can open up about your outlook and clear it from your end that you want the exact same values in your partner and politely request them to reject the alliance if she has any past relationships or has been intimate with anyone in any form. Let her know that you are not judging her, but this part is very important for you. Make it about yourself, because it is. Do not let the woman feel that there is some flaw in her, or start investigating her past.

Now, coming to your other query, how to be absolutely sure that she is telling the truth about her experiences- there is no such technique. You have to trust her. Moreover, you should understand that as much as you believe your values are important, trust in your partner is equally important in having a healthy and happy relationship. While you work on finding the partner of your choice, work on having a little more faith in people.
Hope this helps.

Best Wishes

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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