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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2024Hindi
Money

Hi Sir, I am 31 years old and having 15 months old kid, working in IT earning 1.75L in hand monthly. I brought a flat with 60L bank loan, paying emi of around 52k monthly. I am planning to complete that before 2030 by doing 50k monthly prepayment. I am supporting my parents by sending 20 k monthly. I have a term insurance of 1 cr. I need an advice on building Emergency fund (thinking of around 6 L, 2L saved so far in debt fund), retirement corpus of 12 cr at my 45 age, how can I plan for the taxation better. Kindly share your thoughts. Thanks in advance.

Ans: Building a robust financial plan is key to achieving your goals. Here’s a detailed approach:

Emergency Fund Planning
You aim to build an emergency fund of Rs. 6 lakh.

You’ve already saved Rs. 2 lakh in a debt fund.

Keep it up by setting aside an additional Rs. 4 lakh.

Prioritise this fund for unforeseen expenses like medical emergencies or job loss.

Save at least Rs. 20,000 monthly towards this goal.

In ten months, your emergency fund will be complete.

An emergency fund should cover at least six months of living expenses.

It’s good that you’re already working towards this.

Loan Prepayment Strategy
You have a 60L home loan with an EMI of Rs. 52k.

Planning to prepay Rs. 50k monthly is smart.

This will reduce your interest burden significantly.

Prepaying helps you save on interest and shorten the loan tenure.

By 2030, you can be debt-free, provided you stick to this plan.

Keep an eye on prepayment charges, if any, from your bank.

Reducing debt early gives you financial freedom faster.

Supporting Parents
Supporting your parents with Rs. 20k monthly is commendable.

This shows your sense of responsibility and family values.

Ensure this expense is factored into your budget consistently.

Consider discussing with your parents if they need any additional financial help.

This way, you can plan your finances better without compromising your goals.

Retirement Planning
You aim to build a retirement corpus of Rs. 12 crore by age 45.

Given your current age of 31, you have 14 years to achieve this.

Let’s break it down into a clear strategy:

1. Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs):

You should invest in diversified mutual funds.

SIPs are a disciplined way to invest regularly.

Choose equity mutual funds for higher returns over long periods.

Your current income allows you to invest aggressively.

Start with an amount you’re comfortable with and increase it annually.

2. Equity Mutual Funds:

Equity mutual funds have the potential for higher returns.

Actively managed funds are preferable over index funds.

Actively managed funds can outperform indices in volatile markets.

Certified Financial Planners (CFPs) can guide you on selecting the right funds.

3. Regular vs. Direct Funds:

Invest through regular funds with a certified mutual fund distributor.

Regular funds come with expert advice and periodic reviews.

Direct funds may seem cost-effective but lack professional guidance.

A CFP can help optimise your portfolio and provide timely adjustments.

4. Portfolio Diversification:

Diversify your investments across different asset classes.

Include equity, debt, and gold for a balanced portfolio.

This reduces risk and enhances returns over time.

Tax Planning
Effective tax planning can save you a significant amount.

Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Tax-Saving Investments:

Invest in tax-saving instruments under Section 80C.

Options include Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS), PPF, and NSC.

These investments can reduce your taxable income by up to Rs. 1.5 lakh annually.

2. Health Insurance:

Premiums paid for health insurance qualify for tax deductions under Section 80D.

You can claim up to Rs. 25,000 for yourself, spouse, and children.

Additionally, you can claim Rs. 50,000 for parents if they are senior citizens.

3. Home Loan Interest:

Interest paid on your home loan is eligible for tax deduction under Section 24(b).

You can claim up to Rs. 2 lakh annually.

Principal repayment qualifies for deduction under Section 80C.

4. National Pension System (NPS):

Investing in NPS provides an additional tax deduction of Rs. 50,000 under Section 80CCD(1B).

This is over and above the Rs. 1.5 lakh limit under Section 80C.

5. HRA and LTA:

If you’re living in a rented house, claim House Rent Allowance (HRA).

Leave Travel Allowance (LTA) can be claimed for travel expenses.

These exemptions reduce your taxable income significantly.

Insurance Coverage
You have a term insurance of Rs. 1 crore.

This is good, but review it periodically to ensure it meets your needs.

Consider increasing coverage as your responsibilities grow.

Life insurance is crucial for securing your family’s future.

Child’s Future
Your child is 15 months old now.

Start saving for their education and future needs early.

Consider investing in child-specific investment plans or mutual funds.

These investments can grow significantly over time.

Education costs are rising, so planning ahead is wise.

Final Insights
You have a clear goal and are on the right track.

Building an emergency fund is crucial, and you’re almost there.

Prepaying your loan is a smart move to reduce your debt faster.

Supporting your parents shows your strong family values.

Retirement planning requires disciplined investing in diversified mutual funds.

Tax planning can save you money and optimise your investments.

Review your insurance coverage regularly and plan for your child’s future early.

Keep monitoring and adjusting your financial plan as needed.

Consistency and discipline in saving and investing will help you achieve your goals.

Remember, consulting with a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalised advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2024Hindi
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Money
Iam 40 yrs, My Net salary per month is 2,10000 , and Home loan Emi's total is 87k, My monthly savings towards SIP is 7.5k. Could you please advice me on creating corpus for retirement and child education planning for 2 kids 11 yrs son and 3 yrs daughter.
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Situation
You have a monthly net salary of Rs. 2,10,000, with home loan EMIs totaling Rs. 87,000. Your current SIP investment is Rs. 7,500 monthly. Your goal is to create a corpus for retirement and child education planning. You have two children: an 11-year-old son and a 3-year-old daughter. Let's discuss strategies to achieve your goals.

Evaluating Current Savings and Expenses
You are already saving Rs. 7,500 per month through SIPs, which is a positive step towards building your financial future. Considering your home loan EMIs, your net disposable income after loan repayment is Rs. 1,23,000. It is essential to manage this amount efficiently to meet your retirement and children's education goals.

Retirement Planning
Retirement planning requires a systematic and disciplined approach. You need to estimate the corpus required to maintain your lifestyle post-retirement. Assume retirement age as 60 and plan for at least 20-25 years post-retirement. Factor in inflation, healthcare costs, and lifestyle changes. Based on these considerations, let's create a step-by-step plan.

Assess Your Retirement Needs: Determine the monthly expenses you will need post-retirement. Consider inflation and increasing healthcare costs.

Current Savings Evaluation: Assess your current savings and investments. Include provident fund, gratuity, and any other retirement benefits you might receive.

Investment Strategy: Increase your SIP contributions gradually. Diversify your investments across equity, debt, and hybrid funds. Equity funds provide higher returns, while debt funds offer stability.

Regular Monitoring: Periodically review and rebalance your portfolio. Adjust investments based on market conditions and life changes.

Child Education Planning
Planning for your children's education is crucial. The costs of education are rising, and starting early will help you build a sufficient corpus. Here's how you can approach it:

Estimate Education Costs: Calculate the future cost of education for both children. Consider higher education costs and inflation rates.

Separate Education Fund: Create a dedicated education fund for each child. Start SIPs in mutual funds that align with the education timeline.

Investment Choices: For long-term goals, equity mutual funds are ideal. For medium-term goals, consider a mix of equity and debt funds.

Insurance Coverage: Ensure you have adequate life and health insurance coverage. This secures your children's future in case of any unforeseen events.

Budgeting and Saving More
Increasing your monthly savings will significantly impact your retirement and education corpus. Here are some tips to enhance your savings:

Expense Management: Track and manage your monthly expenses. Identify non-essential expenditures and reduce them.

Increase SIP Contributions: Gradually increase your SIP investments as your income grows. Even small increments can make a big difference over time.

Bonus and Windfalls: Use bonuses, increments, or any windfall gains to invest in your SIPs or other long-term investment options.

Role of Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can provide professional guidance tailored to your specific needs. They can help you create a comprehensive financial plan, select suitable investment options, and monitor your progress. Regular consultations with a CFP ensure you stay on track to meet your financial goals.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds
Actively managed funds offer several advantages over index funds. Fund managers actively make investment decisions to outperform the market. These funds can adapt to market changes and capitalize on opportunities, potentially providing higher returns. By investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with CFP credentials, you gain access to professional advice and expertise, ensuring better fund selection and management.

Avoiding Real Estate and Annuities
Real estate can be an illiquid and high-maintenance investment. Instead, focus on financial assets like mutual funds, which offer liquidity, diversification, and professional management. Annuities are generally inflexible and come with high fees. Mutual funds provide more flexibility and potential for growth.

Conclusion
You are on the right path with your current SIP investments. By increasing your savings, managing expenses, and choosing the right investment options, you can achieve your retirement and child education goals. Regularly consult with a Certified Financial Planner to ensure your financial plan stays on track.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 13, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Im 29years old, and I have baby who is 1.4y old. My monthly in hand salary is 70k post deductions. Ive personal loan EMI Which is around 16.5k per month and this will be completed by next year April. And Im doing SIP of 6k per month started since starting of this year. Also every month Im paying SSY of 2k for my daughter. Currently I do not have separate savings other than above mentioned, so To have emergency fund Ive started RD(To have atleast 2 lakh) of 10k every month doing it for last 4 months. Im staying in rented house which is around 11k per month. I would like to build a corpus of 2CR by the time my daughter reaches 18. How would I achieve that considering above mentioned. Thanks in advance.
Ans: Your monthly in-hand salary is Rs 70,000.

You have a personal loan EMI of Rs 16,500, which will be completed by next April.

You are currently doing a SIP of Rs 6,000 per month.

You are paying Rs 2,000 every month towards the Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) for your daughter.

You have started an RD of Rs 10,000 per month to build an emergency fund of Rs 2 lakh.

You are staying in a rented house with a monthly rent of Rs 11,000.

These commitments reflect your efforts to balance immediate obligations and long-term goals.

Establishing an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is critical.

You’ve already started an RD to build an emergency fund of Rs 2 lakh. This is a good move. Continue this RD until you reach your target of Rs 2 lakh.

Ideally, an emergency fund should cover 6 to 12 months of your expenses.

Once you achieve this target, you can divert the RD amount into investments that align with your long-term goals.

Debt Management and Savings Allocation
Your personal loan will be cleared by next April.

This will free up Rs 16,500 per month.

After clearing the loan, it’s essential to allocate this freed-up amount effectively.

You can redirect this amount into SIPs and other investment options to meet your long-term goals.

By doing this, you’ll be optimizing your cash flow without stretching your finances too thin.

Investing for Your Daughter’s Future
Your goal is to build a corpus of Rs 2 crore by the time your daughter turns 18.

To achieve this, you need to invest systematically and consistently.

Given your current SIP of Rs 6,000 per month, let’s assess how you can expand this over time.

Enhancing Your SIP Strategy
Once your personal loan is cleared, you can increase your SIP contributions.

Allocating the entire Rs 16,500 towards SIPs can significantly boost your investment corpus over time.

Here’s how you can structure your investments:

Increase SIP Contributions: Gradually increase your SIP amount as your financial situation improves. By next year, you can raise your SIP contribution from Rs 6,000 to Rs 22,500 (adding the loan EMI amount).

Diversify Investments: Consider investing in a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap mutual funds. These funds offer growth potential and can help you achieve your long-term goals. Avoid direct funds and index funds. Actively managed funds through an MFD with a CFP credential are better. They provide professional management and expertise.

Review Annually: Regularly review your SIPs and adjust them according to your financial growth and goals. If possible, increase your SIP amount by 10-15% each year to account for inflation and enhance returns.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY) Contribution
You are currently contributing Rs 2,000 per month to the SSY for your daughter.

This is a great initiative.

The SSY offers a higher interest rate and tax benefits under Section 80C.

Continue contributing to this scheme as it will form a secure part of your daughter’s future corpus.

Building the Rs 2 Crore Corpus
To achieve your goal of Rs 2 crore by the time your daughter reaches 18, you’ll need to adopt a disciplined investment approach.

Here’s how you can proceed:

Step 1: Increase SIP Contributions: After April, increase your SIP to Rs 22,500 per month (including the loan EMI amount). Over time, this increased contribution will compound significantly.

Step 2: Diversify Portfolio: Invest in a mix of growth-oriented mutual funds. This includes large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds. These funds can provide the necessary growth to reach your Rs 2 crore target.

Step 3: Annual Top-Up: Increase your SIP amount annually by 10-15% to stay ahead of inflation and boost returns. For example, increasing your SIP by Rs 2,000 every year can make a huge difference.

Step 4: Monitor and Adjust: Regularly review your investments. Rebalance your portfolio as needed. You might need to shift to more conservative options as you get closer to your goal.

Addressing the Rent vs. Buy Dilemma
Currently, you are staying in a rented house with a monthly rent of Rs 11,000.

You might be wondering whether to buy a house or continue renting.

Let’s look at the key points:

Renting vs. Buying: Renting gives you flexibility and doesn’t lock you into a long-term financial commitment. Buying a house involves a huge upfront cost, including the down payment and home loan EMI.

Interest vs. Investment: If you were to buy a house, the EMI you pay could be similar to what you could invest. Over time, SIP investments could potentially grow more than the appreciation in property value.

Liquidity Considerations: Investments in mutual funds are liquid and can be accessed in times of need. Real estate is not as liquid and may take time to sell if you need funds.

Given your current situation and goals, it may be more prudent to continue renting and invest your surplus funds in SIPs to achieve your Rs 2 crore target.

Saving for Down Payment While Investing
If you decide to buy a house in the future, you’ll need to save for the down payment. Here’s how you can approach this:

Separate Savings: Create a separate savings plan for your down payment. This can be done through a recurring deposit (RD) or a short-term debt mutual fund.

Balance Investments: Continue your SIPs while saving for the down payment. You can split your surplus funds between SIPs and your down payment savings.

Goal Alignment: Ensure that your investment and down payment goals are aligned with your overall financial plan. This will help you avoid stretching your finances too thin.

Final Insights
You are on the right path with your current investments and financial planning.

By increasing your SIP contributions and maintaining a disciplined approach, you can achieve your goal of Rs 2 crore by the time your daughter turns 18.

Remember, staying invested in mutual funds over the long term can yield significant returns, potentially surpassing the appreciation of real estate.

Real estate should not be your primary investment goal. It locks up capital and doesn’t offer the flexibility or growth potential of mutual funds.

Continue your SIPs, increase contributions over time, and regularly review your investments to ensure they align with your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7510 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2024

Money
Hello sir my age is 34 with monthly income 1lac j have a daughter of 2 years and planning for 2nd I have current emi of 34k and started investment in sip of 10k every month I have also started with lic of 10k every month How do i create saving and emergency fund plz help
Ans: Your financial planning shows you are thoughtful and committed. At 34, with a stable income of Rs 1 lakh per month, you are on the right path. You have a daughter and are planning for a second child, which means your financial responsibilities will grow.

Current Investments and EMI
You have an existing EMI of Rs 34,000 per month. Additionally, you have started a SIP of Rs 10,000 per month and an LIC policy of Rs 10,000 per month. This leaves you with Rs 46,000 after these commitments.

Importance of an Emergency Fund
An emergency fund is essential for financial security. It helps in unexpected situations like job loss, medical emergencies, or urgent repairs. Ideally, it should cover 6-12 months of living expenses.

Building an Emergency Fund
Start by saving a portion of your remaining monthly income. Aim to save at least 20% of your monthly income. This would be around Rs 20,000 per month.

Open a separate savings account for your emergency fund. This helps keep it separate from your regular spending.

Monthly Budgeting
Track your expenses to understand where your money goes. Create a budget to control unnecessary spending. Prioritize essential expenses and savings.

Enhancing Savings
With Rs 46,000 left after EMI and investments, allocate a portion for savings and emergency funds. Here’s a suggested allocation:

Rs 20,000 for emergency fund savings
Rs 10,000 for additional savings or investments
Rs 16,000 for living expenses and miscellaneous costs
Reviewing and Adjusting Investments
Your SIP of Rs 10,000 per month is a great start. SIPs in mutual funds provide long-term growth and are flexible. Continue this investment for wealth accumulation.

LIC policy is also part of your plan. However, evaluate its benefits. If it's an investment-cum-insurance policy, consider its returns. If returns are low, you might want to reconsider.

Benefits of Mutual Funds
Mutual funds are versatile and cater to various financial goals. Here’s why they are beneficial:

Professional Management: Managed by experts, offering better growth opportunities.
Diversification: Spreads risk by investing in various assets.
Liquidity: Easy to buy and sell, providing flexibility.
Tax Benefits: Certain funds offer tax advantages under sections like 80C.
Power of Compounding
Mutual funds benefit from the power of compounding. Reinvested earnings generate additional returns over time, accelerating your wealth growth. Regular investments in SIPs harness this power effectively.

Types of Mutual Funds
Equity Funds: Suitable for long-term growth. Higher risk but potential for higher returns.

Debt Funds: Ideal for short to medium-term goals. Lower risk and stable returns.

Hybrid Funds: Mix of equity and debt. Balanced risk and return, suitable for moderate risk-takers.

Risks and Considerations
Equity Funds: Subject to market fluctuations. Requires a long-term investment horizon to manage volatility.

Debt Funds: Exposed to credit and interest rate risks. Choose funds with good credit ratings to mitigate risk.

Hybrid Funds: Offers a balance, but not immune to market risks. Suitable for conservative investors seeking balanced growth.

Regular Funds vs. Direct Funds
Investing in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offers guidance and expertise. CFPs help in selecting the right funds based on your risk tolerance and goals.

Direct Funds: May seem cost-effective due to lower expense ratios. However, lack of professional guidance can impact your investment decisions.

Regular Funds: Slightly higher expense ratios but offer professional advice and support. Ensures informed decisions and better management of your investments.

Planning for Your Children’s Future
With two children, education and other expenses will increase. Start planning early for their future needs.

Consider child education plans or dedicated mutual funds for long-term growth. Ensure these investments align with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Life Insurance and Financial Security
Life insurance is crucial for your family’s financial security. Ensure you have adequate coverage to protect your family in case of unforeseen events.

Review your LIC policy. If it’s an investment-cum-insurance plan with low returns, consider surrendering it. Reinvest the amount in mutual funds for better growth and flexibility.

Financial Discipline and Review
Maintain financial discipline by sticking to your budget and savings plan. Regularly review your financial situation and adjust your plan as needed.

Track your investments’ performance and make necessary adjustments to align with your goals.

Engaging a Certified Financial Planner
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) provides personalized advice based on your financial situation and goals. They help in creating a comprehensive financial plan, ensuring your investments align with your risk tolerance and objectives.

Final Insights
You are on the right track with your current investments and financial planning. Building an emergency fund and maintaining financial discipline are crucial.

Evaluate your LIC policy for returns. Consider reallocating to mutual funds for better growth.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide you in optimizing your investments and achieving your financial goals. Regular reviews and adjustments ensure your plan remains effective.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Career
I’ve always aspired to work in the Ministry of External Affairs, but I know the competition is tough. I will be appearing for the SSC CGL exam this year. For Tier 2, which sections or strategies should I prioritise to boost my chances of landing my dream role in this recruitment drive?
Ans: The SSC CGL exam is a competitive entry-level job in the Ministry of External Affairs (MEA), with the main role being Assistant Section Officer (ASO). Tier 2 of the exam consists of multiple papers, with Paper I being required for all postings, including MEA. The main focus areas are mathematical quantitative aptitude, thinking and general intelligence, English language and understanding, and general knowledge.

Quantitative aptitude (200 Marks) is a high-scoring but time-consuming area, with areas such as algebra, geometry, trigonometry, menuration, data interpretation, and number system. Practice and strengthen basic skills, focusing on accuracy and speed. Resources for pattern comprehension include R.S. Aggarwal's Gradeup and Testbook quantitative aptitude with online mocks.

English language and comprehension (200 Marks) is high-scoring and essential for MEA, with areas like grammar, vocabulary, comprehension, synonyms and antonyms, and sentence correction. Strategies include daily reading schedules, vocabulary expansion using Norman Lewis's Word Power Made Easy, and solving cloze tests.

General awareness (100 Marks) is crucial for MEA aspirants, with areas like current affairs, international relations, Indian polity, geography, history, and economics. Stay informed about foreign policy changes, NCERTs, and NCERTs for stationary sections.

General intelligence and reasoning (60 Marks) is a scoring section, with areas like puzzles, coding-decoding, blood relations, series, and direction tests. Techniques include trying full-length mock tests, time management, previous year reports, and preparing for essays and letter writing on global concerns. All the Best for SSC CGL Exam.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Career
Hello Sir, I’m back to you with a question . Sir, doing mechanical in top nits or iiits or bits, what are the possibilities to do ms in computer science. I keep hearing from everyone to go for cse to do ms cs , but my daughter prefers good college first and then cse, based on her capability it’s extremely difficult to get cse in tier1 , so she says I will do mechanical in tier 1 and do ms cs abroad. Please guide on the pros , cons Sir
Ans: Pursuing Mechanical Engineering at top-notional institutes like IIT, NIT, IIIT, or BITS or any other NIRF-Ranked Engineering It may please be noted that if your daugther performs well in 1st Year of her BE/BTech, she will be upgraded to CSE Branch (based on the Institute's Internal Sliding Policy). Colleges offer advantages such as a strong alumni network, branch flexibility, and a strong resume for MS admissions. Students can enroll in elective courses in programming, data structures, and computer applications to prepare for an MS in CS.

However, transitioning from Mechanical to CS for an MS overseas can be challenging due to the need for prior knowledge in CS principles. With more self-learning and certificates, it is possible. Additionally, CS is tough for MS admissions in the US, and students may have to create a strong profile through internships, online courses, and certifications in CS domains without a CS degree.

To ensure a seamless transition, students should select electives in programming and computer science based on their undergraduate course (if the institute allows). Online programs for courses in data structures, Python, and artificial intelligence can be found on CS-oriented sites like Coursera, edX, or NPTEL. Summer internships involving data analysis, coding, or automation projects can also be sought. Multidisciplinary initiatives like mechanical engineering automation or computational fluid dynamics (CFD) can also be explored.

If your daughter's main goal is to pursue an MS in CS, it is better to consider Tier 1 Institutes with CS or IT branches and top-tier institutes with Mechanical focus actively pursuing CS. All the Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Relationship
Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.
Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |504 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Recently, I (28M) had surgery and have been bedridden for 15 days. During this time, my girlfriend told me her female friend wanted to meet up with a guy. This guy was bringing along a male friend whom I’ve asked my girlfriend to avoid in the past because he tends to get touchy with her. They planned to stay in a hotel, and her friend wanted to be with the guy at night, meaning my girlfriend and the touchy guy would likely share a single room. A couple of days before the trip, she asked me if she should go. I told her it was her choice but made it clear I wasn’t happy about it. Despite that, she went, and when I confronted her, she gave responses like: • “I didn’t invite the touchy guy; the other guy did.” • “Just because you’re bedridden, you don’t want me to go outside.” • “I didn’t touch him; he got touchy with me.” Yeah, maybe I’m jealous or overthinking, but this whole situation has made me unsure about marriage altogether. Am I overreacting?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I really cannot comment if you are overreacting or have every reason to feel this way without knowing a bit more about the entire situation. But what I can tell is that you should communicate your feelings to your partner. Let her know that while maintaining individuality or pursuing individual wishes in a relationship is important, it is equally important to pay heed to what makes your partner uncomfortable. Your request, from what information you have provided, seemed reasonable, while her reasoning that it is the guy's fault, not hers also makes perfect sense. So I think the best course of action is to let the situation calm down and have an open conversation. Could she have avoided this meetup to make you happy? Yes. But, she could've thought that if she avoids one thing for your happiness, you might start asking her to give up more things in the future, which is a real issue in many relationships. I think it is important to clear up all of these concerns and feelings before moving on with lifelong commitment.

Hope this helps

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 14, 2025Hindi
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Career
This is my second attempt at SSC CGL, and I’ve improved since last year. But I’m still anxious about the descriptive paper. Can you suggest ways to stand out in this section and make my essay and letter writing more impactful?
Ans: The SSC CGL descriptive paper requires a clear, structured, and effective presentation. To improve your essay writing skills, review the subject matter thoroughly and avoid deviations from the central theme. Sketch an initial outline and adhere to a straightforward framework, including an Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. Start with a hook and express your thesis or stance in a concise manner. Arrange arguments in a logical order, using data, examples, and facts to establish credibility. Avoid repetition and maintain brevity.

In summary, concisely summarize the primary themes and offer a fair perspective. Avoid vernacular language and maintain appropriate sentence structure and grammar. Maintain a clean writing style and avoid overwriting.

For writing a letter, adhere to the conventional format, maintain clarity and conciseness, and articulate the purpose in the first paragraph. Use simple language and avoid intricate terminology.

Regularly engage in writing essays and correspondence on various subjects to develop adaptability. Stay informed about the latest news and hot topics. Develop time management skills and consistently proofread your work for errors.

Developing impactful essays and letters with clarity, structure, and content relevance enhances your chances of success in the SSC CGL descriptive paper. All The Best for Your Prosperous Future.

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Kanchan Rai  |493 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 05, 2025Hindi
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How to manage stress?
Ans: The first step is to become aware of what triggers your stress. This self-awareness allows you to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. Once you identify these triggers, you can start exploring techniques that help you cope effectively.

One effective approach is to incorporate regular self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. These practices not only help calm the mind but also improve your overall mood and resilience to stress.

Talking to someone you trust, whether a friend, family member, or professional, can also be a powerful way to manage stress. Sharing your feelings and experiences helps lighten the emotional load and provides different perspectives that might help you navigate your challenges more effectively.

It's also important to focus on what you can control and let go of things that are beyond your influence. This shift in mindset can reduce feelings of helplessness and frustration. Setting realistic expectations for yourself and others can also alleviate unnecessary pressure.

Remember to give yourself permission to rest and recharge. Adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and time for relaxation are essential for managing stress. When you take care of your body and mind, you're better equipped to handle life's demands.

Lastly, cultivating a mindset of gratitude and mindfulness can help you stay present and appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even during stressful times. These practices can create a sense of balance and help you respond to stress in healthier, more constructive ways. By integrating these approaches into your life, you can build resilience and find a sense of peace amidst the chaos.

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