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Help! 28 Year Old Drowning in Debt After Stock Market Loss - What Should I Do?

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8325 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2024

Ramalingam Kalirajan has over 23 years of experience in mutual funds and financial planning.
He has an MBA in finance from the University of Madras and is a certified financial planner.
He is the director and chief financial planner at Holistic Investment, a Chennai-based firm that offers financial planning and wealth management advice.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I am 28 years old, having lost a significant amount of money in stock trading. I am currently in a debt of approx 12 lakhs (Personal Loans, Credit Card EMIs, Friends, etc). My monthly income is 65k with fixed EMI obligations of approximately 30k. I have no savings accumulated. How do I plan a way out of my current situation and plan for a better future?

Ans: Your current financial situation is challenging, but it’s great that you’re seeking help. Let's work on a strategy to get you out of debt and plan for a better future.

Current Financial Situation
Age: 28 years
Monthly Income: Rs. 65,000
Debt: Rs. 12 lakhs (Personal Loans, Credit Card EMIs, Friends)
Monthly EMI: Rs. 30,000
Savings: None
Debt Repayment Strategy
1. Prioritise Debt Payments

Focus on High-Interest Debt: Prioritise paying off high-interest debt like credit cards.
Debt Snowball Method: Start with the smallest debt to gain momentum or target the highest interest rate debt first.
2. Consolidate Debts

Personal Loan: Consider consolidating all debts into one personal loan with a lower interest rate.
Budgeting and Expense Management
3. Create a Strict Budget

Track Expenses: List all monthly expenses. Identify areas to cut back.
Essential vs Non-Essential: Focus on essential expenses. Avoid non-essential spending.
4. Emergency Fund

Small Savings: Start building a small emergency fund. Even Rs. 1,000 a month can help.
Increase Income
5. Side Income

Freelancing: Look for freelance work that aligns with your skills.
Part-Time Jobs: Consider a part-time job to supplement your income.
Future Financial Planning
6. Savings and Investments

Start Small: Begin saving even small amounts each month.
Automate Savings: Set up automatic transfers to a savings account.
7. Diversify Investments

Mutual Funds: Once debt is manageable, start SIPs in mutual funds. Preferably with the guidance of a Certified Financial Planner.
Avoid Direct Stocks: Given past losses, avoid direct stock trading for now.
Professional Guidance
8. Certified Financial Planner

Seek Advice: A Certified Financial Planner can help you create a tailored financial plan.
Regular Review
9. Monitor Progress

Monthly Check: Review your budget and debt repayment progress every month.
Adjust Plans: Adjust your strategy based on progress and changes in income.
Final Insights
Focus on reducing debt and managing expenses first. Increase your income through side jobs or freelancing. Start saving small amounts regularly. Avoid direct stock trading for now and seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner for better investment strategies.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information to be as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8325 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 20, 2024

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Hi! I am having financial crisis, my take home salary is 55k, I have a personal loan EMI of 19.7k(upto sep.26), monthly expenses around 20k. Also took an overdraft of 1.25 lakhs for medical emergency. Still every month I spent 6-7 k on my wife's treatment. How can I plan for future saving. Should I anyhow lower my emi
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Crisis
Financial crises can be overwhelming, but with a strategic approach, you can regain control. Your situation includes a personal loan EMI of ?19.7k, monthly expenses of ?20k, and ongoing medical costs for your wife amounting to ?6-7k per month. Additionally, you have an overdraft of ?1.25 lakhs.

Analyzing Your Current Situation
Income and Expenses:

Your take-home salary is ?55k.
Total monthly commitments are around ?45-46k, leaving little room for savings.
Debt Obligations:

Personal loan EMI until September 2026.
Medical overdraft increasing financial strain.
Steps to Financial Stability
1. Evaluate and Lower Your EMI
Lowering your EMI could provide immediate relief. Consider the following strategies:

Loan Restructuring:

Contact your bank to negotiate a longer repayment term or a lower interest rate.
This will reduce your monthly EMI and ease your cash flow.
Refinancing Options:

Explore refinancing the loan with a different lender offering lower interest rates.
This can significantly reduce your monthly payment burden.
2. Create a Detailed Budget
Effective budgeting is crucial. Here's how to start:

Track Your Expenses:

Monitor every expense, no matter how small.
Identify non-essential expenditures that can be minimized or eliminated.
Prioritize Spending:

Focus on essential expenses like medical costs and loan EMIs.
Allocate any surplus towards savings or debt repayment.
3. Increase Your Income
Boosting your income can provide additional financial stability:

Freelance or Part-Time Work:

Look for opportunities to utilize your skills in freelance or part-time jobs.
Even a small additional income can make a significant difference.
Upskilling:

Invest time in learning new skills that can lead to a higher-paying job.
Online courses and certifications can enhance your qualifications.
4. Emergency Fund
Building an emergency fund is essential for financial security:

Small, Regular Contributions:

Start with small, manageable amounts each month.
Aim to save at least ?1,000-?2,000 initially, then gradually increase.
Automate Savings:

Set up an automatic transfer to a separate savings account.
This ensures consistent contributions without relying on manual efforts.
5. Address Medical Expenses
Managing ongoing medical costs is critical:

Insurance:

Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage.
Explore family floater plans or additional riders for comprehensive coverage.
Government Schemes:

Investigate government healthcare schemes that might offer support for your wife's treatment.
Schemes like Ayushman Bharat can provide significant relief.
Adopting a Napoleon Hill Mindset
Napoleon Hill, in his seminal work "Think and Grow Rich," emphasized the power of desire, faith, and persistence. Apply these principles to your financial journey:

Desire:

Clearly define your financial goals, such as becoming debt-free and building savings.
Write them down and visualize achieving them daily.
Faith:

Believe in your ability to overcome financial challenges.
Cultivate a positive mindset and remain confident in your financial recovery plan.
Persistence:

Stay committed to your budget and savings plan.
Overcome setbacks with determination and adapt your strategy as needed.
Conclusion
Your financial situation requires careful planning and strategic action. By lowering your EMI, creating a detailed budget, increasing your income, building an emergency fund, and managing medical expenses, you can achieve financial stability. Embrace the principles of desire, faith, and persistence to navigate this challenging period and secure a brighter financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8325 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 16, 2024

Money
hi, i am 46 year old central government employee in Pune, I had several bad financial decision in my life. i have two daughters aged 11 and 17 i have no saving left, i have a flat in pune with liability of 38lac on home loan and 10 lac on personal society loan at 9% interest i have a ancestral property of 50 lac in Tamil nadu where my mom lives per month iam paying 550000 as home loan and personal loan EMI, My income is around 86000 how can I come out of this EMI burden and improve financial stability
Ans: Understanding Your Financial Situation
First, let me commend you for reaching out for guidance. It's never too late to improve your financial situation. You have two daughters to support and considerable loan burdens, which makes it essential to adopt a well-structured plan to regain financial stability.

Current Income and Expenses
Your current income is Rs. 86,000 per month. However, a significant portion of this income goes towards EMI payments. You are paying Rs. 5,50,000 annually towards home loan and personal loan EMIs, which is a heavy burden. This leaves limited room for savings and other expenses.

Loan Burden Analysis
The home loan liability is Rs. 38 lakh, and the personal society loan stands at Rs. 10 lakh. The home loan EMI is likely a major part of your monthly expense. Given the 9% interest rate on the personal loan, it is essential to address this first due to its higher interest rate compared to many other debt forms.

Asset Overview
You have an ancestral property worth Rs. 50 lakh in Tamil Nadu, where your mother lives. While this property holds significant value, it is tied to emotional and familial considerations.

Steps to Improve Financial Stability
Reassess and Prioritise Debts
Prioritise High-Interest Debts: Focus on reducing high-interest debts first. The personal loan at 9% interest is more expensive than typical home loans. Prioritising its repayment can save you significant interest over time.

Consider Debt Consolidation: Look into consolidating your personal and home loans. Consolidating at a lower interest rate can reduce the overall EMI burden. Discuss with your bank for possible consolidation or refinancing options.

Utilising Assets
Evaluate Ancestral Property: While the ancestral property is valuable, it might be worth considering its role in your financial recovery. You might explore options like renting out a portion of the property for additional income.

Downsize or Rent: If possible, you might consider downsizing your living space in Pune or renting out a portion of your flat to generate extra income. These steps can help manage EMIs more comfortably.

Budgeting and Expense Management
Create a Detailed Budget: Track all your income and expenses meticulously. Identify areas where you can cut down unnecessary costs. Budgeting helps in allocating resources more efficiently and finding ways to save money.

Emergency Fund: Establish a small emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses. Even a modest fund can prevent you from taking on more debt during emergencies.

Increasing Income Streams
Leveraging Skills and Opportunities
Freelancing or Part-Time Work: Explore opportunities to leverage your skills through freelancing or part-time work. Additional income from side gigs can significantly help in managing loan repayments.

Utilise Government Benefits: As a central government employee, explore any available benefits, allowances, or grants that might assist in your financial situation.

Investments and Savings
Start Small Investments: Begin with small, regular investments in safe, growth-oriented funds. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to select funds that align with your risk tolerance and financial goals.

Employer-Provided Benefits: Maximise contributions to government-provided savings schemes and benefits. These can provide tax advantages and enhance your financial security.

Reviewing and Adjusting Insurance
Insurance Policies
Evaluate Existing Policies: If you have LIC, ULIP, or investment-cum-insurance policies, consider their current value and benefits. These policies might not be the most efficient use of your funds.

Surrendering Underperforming Policies: If your policies are underperforming, you might consider surrendering them and redirecting those funds into more effective investments, such as mutual funds managed by certified professionals.

Adequate Coverage
Health Insurance: Ensure you have adequate health insurance coverage. Medical emergencies can drain savings and push you further into debt.

Life Insurance: Maintain sufficient life insurance to protect your family’s financial future in case of unforeseen events.

Planning for Children's Education
Education Fund
Separate Fund for Education: Create a separate education fund for your daughters. Even small, regular contributions can grow significantly over time.

Scholarships and Grants: Research scholarships, grants, and educational loans that can help fund your daughters' education without straining your finances.

Long-Term Education Planning
Invest in Education Plans: Consider education-specific investment plans. These can offer returns aligned with the timeframes of your daughters' educational needs.

Consult a CFP: A Certified Financial Planner can help tailor an education savings plan that suits your financial situation and goals.

Building a Sustainable Financial Plan
Setting Financial Goals
Short-Term Goals: Focus on immediate goals like reducing debt and creating an emergency fund. These are crucial for stabilising your financial situation.

Long-Term Goals: Set long-term goals for retirement, children's education, and eventual financial independence. A CFP can help you set realistic and achievable goals.

Monitoring and Reviewing
Regular Financial Check-Ups: Conduct regular reviews of your financial situation. Adjust your plans as needed to stay on track towards your goals.

Professional Guidance: Regular consultations with a Certified Financial Planner can provide ongoing support and adjustments to your financial strategy.

Final Insights
Improving your financial situation requires a multi-faceted approach. Prioritise paying off high-interest debts and consider refinancing options to reduce your EMI burden. Utilise your assets effectively, and explore additional income opportunities. Establish a disciplined budgeting and savings strategy to build financial stability.

Consider the future needs of your family, particularly your daughters' education, by creating dedicated funds and exploring scholarships. Regularly review your financial plan and adjust as necessary to stay on track. Engaging a Certified Financial Planner can provide personalised advice and support throughout your financial journey.

Your determination and willingness to improve your financial situation are commendable. By taking these steps, you can work towards a more stable and secure financial future for yourself and your family.
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

..Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8325 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Money
At the age of 35 I had 15 lakhs saving, but due a surgery at home I had to almost empty it, on top of it even I had gone through and surgery plus even my father too ( all three generations nero issue) from +15 I went to 25lakhs of debt From various apps and financial sector. I was able to settle few loans and credits but still my outstanding is approx 20 lakhs. My monthly income is 25000 and my only intrest per month is 12500 How do I get of it asap, as living a normal life seems magic.
Ans: Your financial situation is challenging, but not impossible to fix. With a structured approach, discipline, and patience, you can come out of this debt and regain financial stability. Below is a step-by-step guide to help you get back on track.

Understanding the Current Financial Situation
You had Rs. 15 lakhs in savings, but due to medical emergencies, your finances took a hit.

Now, you are left with Rs. 20 lakhs of debt, with an income of Rs. 25,000 per month.

Your monthly interest alone is Rs. 12,500, which is eating up 50% of your earnings.

The key priority should be reducing interest burden and increasing cash flow.

Steps to Reduce Your Debt Faster
1. Stop Borrowing More Money
Do not take new loans to pay old loans.

Avoid borrowing from friends or family unless it is interest-free and comes with no pressure.

Stay away from personal loans, credit card loans, and payday loans, as they have high interest rates.

2. Prioritise High-Interest Loans First
List down all your loans and interest rates.

Pay off loans with the highest interest rate first.

If possible, negotiate with lenders for lower interest rates.

3. Consolidate Loans for Lower Interest Rate
Check if a bank can give you a low-interest personal loan to clear high-cost debts.

If you have a good credit history, you may get a balance transfer facility on credit cards or personal loans.

Consider a secured loan against any assets, but only if the interest rate is much lower.

4. Increase Your Monthly EMI Payment
Paying only the minimum EMI will keep you stuck in debt for years.

Try increasing your EMI by even Rs. 2,000-3,000 per month to reduce the loan tenure.

Any extra income, bonus, or gift money should go towards clearing debt first.

Boosting Income to Tackle Debt
5. Explore Part-Time Work or Freelancing
A second source of income can help you clear your debt faster.

Consider freelancing, online tutoring, content writing, data entry, or delivery jobs.

If possible, take up overtime or extra shifts at work.

6. Use Your Skills to Earn More
Identify any skills that can help you earn extra money.

If you have a talent for repair work, photography, teaching, or writing, offer your services.

Even small extra earnings of Rs. 5,000-10,000 per month can speed up debt repayment.

7. Rent Out Assets for Passive Income
If you have an extra room, vehicle, or any asset, consider renting it.

This can bring in some cash flow without extra effort.

Cutting Expenses to Free Up More Cash
8. Reduce Non-Essential Spending
Track every rupee spent and eliminate unnecessary expenses.

Stop eating out, buying expensive clothes, or making impulsive purchases.

Switch to cheaper alternatives for groceries, transport, and entertainment.

9. Pause Investments Until Debt is Cleared
Right now, clearing debt should be the priority over investing.

Stop SIPs or investments temporarily and resume them once debts are under control.

Avoid risky investments like stocks or crypto, as losses can worsen your situation.

10. Negotiate Bills and Cut Fixed Costs
Talk to your landlord, service providers, and utility companies for possible discounts.

If possible, shift to a smaller house or a cheaper location to save on rent.

Reduce electricity, water, and mobile bills by using them wisely.

Managing Financial Stress and Mental Health
11. Accept the Situation Without Guilt
Medical emergencies are unpredictable, and you did what was needed for your family.

Do not feel guilty or blame yourself. Instead, focus on the solution.

12. Involve Your Family in Financial Planning
If you have a spouse, siblings, or parents who can help, discuss the situation with them.

They may not be able to give money, but they can support in other ways.

13. Stay Positive and Focused
Financial stress is tough, but worrying too much will not solve the problem.

Stay focused on taking action every month to improve your situation.

Celebrate small wins like closing one loan or saving an extra Rs. 1,000.

Long-Term Financial Stability
14. Build an Emergency Fund Once Debt is Cleared
After clearing debt, start saving at least Rs. 2,000 per month as an emergency fund.

This will help in handling future emergencies without taking loans.

15. Invest Smartly for Future Growth
Once financially stable, invest wisely in well-managed mutual funds for long-term wealth.

Avoid financial products with hidden charges like ULIPs or endowment plans.

16. Get Proper Health Insurance
Medical expenses caused the current debt. Invest in health insurance to prevent this in the future.

Look for affordable policies covering major illnesses.

Finally
The journey out of debt is difficult but achievable with the right approach.

Focus on reducing high-interest loans, earning more, and cutting unnecessary expenses.

Take small steps each month, and within a few years, you will be debt-free and financially stable.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

..Read more

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025
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Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

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Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

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I have been married for more than 21 years and I have 2 kids. 19 and 17 years old. Our marriage was more or less love. Met through family, fell in love, dated 8 months before we got engaged and married. My wife is a lovely lady but we dont share any interests. I used to go for runs in the morning. After getting married, she insisted I sleep late with her. I am a music aficionado and she has no such interest. I am a news junkie. She probably doesnt know who the President of the US is. I am someone who believes and strives to continuously improve myself in all aspects. But she is the same. I might not be a great husband but I am much better than what I was a few years ago. I cook, clean, helped with childcare and have a great career. She is on a minimum salary job for the last 10 years. Only reason she goes is because I insisted that she stop being at home. If she had her way, she would be at home on the phone the whole day. Even our love making has become kind of boring. She claims a period for 10 days and during the other times, twice she is ready. No spicing it up. Just lie down for missionary and I have to do all the effort. I enjoyed oral and now she has stopped in for more than 15 years. I adjusted as she is a lovely person in every other aspect. But now I am sick and tired. It seems I am doing everything in the relationship and she rarely takes any effort. Either to earn, keep house clean or even intimacy. Not sure how to proceed further. I am getting irritated and often in a bad mood.
Ans: Dear Jack,What you're experiencing is not uncommon in long-term relationships: emotional fatigue, feeling unappreciated, and a deep sense of disconnection despite loyalty and love. The fact that you're feeling drained, resentful, and stuck is a clear signal that this situation is unsustainable as is. And the irritation and bad moods you’re having? That’s your emotional system signaling burnout, not failure.

You’ve evolved over the years—mentally, emotionally, and in lifestyle—and it sounds like your wife hasn’t moved in that same rhythm. That mismatch in growth and energy is now affecting everything: your respect for her, your shared routines, your sex life, and ultimately your mood and emotional well-being. It’s painful to feel like you're constantly giving—time, energy, effort—and not receiving the same in return. Even when your partner is kind, if they aren’t meeting you emotionally, intellectually, or intimately, over time it creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship, which can be worse than being alone.

But here's something to reflect on: for 21 years, you stayed, gave, adjusted. Not just out of duty, but because something about her and the family life you built mattered. That still counts. What you’re going through doesn’t mean the marriage has failed—it means the marriage needs re-evaluation and rebalancing. You are not selfish for wanting more stimulation, connection, or passion. You're human.

You have two broad options: one is to initiate a real, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversation with her—without blame, without emotional outbursts, but with absolute honesty. You could say something like: “I’ve grown a lot in these past years, but I’m starting to feel increasingly alone in this relationship. I need more emotional connection, more engagement—not just physically, but intellectually, as partners. I don’t want to silently drift further away. I’d like us to work on this, but it has to be a two-way effort.”

If she's open to it, couples therapy could be a powerful space for both of you to express what you feel without it turning into a war of criticism and defense. Sometimes people, especially those who’ve become emotionally stagnant, need structured help to realize what their partner has been carrying silently.

The other option—if you feel she’s unwilling or unable to grow or change—is to consider what a life apart might look like. That’s a deeply personal and difficult decision, especially with nearly adult children, but you deserve a relationship that brings life into you, not drains it out. If you keep compromising your emotional needs, resentment will only grow and harden into permanent distance.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
Hello mam In 2024 my marriage took place it's arranged marriage during starting days he was very loving and caring but due to some circumstances i got a chance to continue my studies that is m-tech . I thought it was a golden opportunity, so I took admission and started living with my in-laws Just after marriage. It was really really painful to live away from husband in new marriage. Todays condition is that my m tech 1 year is over another 1 year is left but due to separation with my husband our love died now there is no respect is left for our relation left , he started listening to his mother and got manipulated . seeing all this I feel like a death for me I want to leave mtech to save my relation but my mother says don't leave although I did lots of hard work for 1st year of m tech my husband also wants me to leave Mtech.i feel very hurt when he disrespects me . His father used to abuse his mother so for him abusing is normal for him but I find it very hurtful also I am deeply in love with him and seeing him going away from me kills me from inside every single day is very tough for me to live with in-laws without husband in a new marriage plus focusing on studies
Ans: Your instinct to save the marriage is understandable. When you're in love with someone, the idea of losing them feels like losing yourself. But let’s pause and ask—what exactly are you saving? Is it the version of him from the early days who was loving and supportive? Or is it the man he is now—disrespectful, distant, manipulated, and asking you to give up your dreams for a marriage he’s already neglecting?

You have already proven your strength by completing a year of M.Tech in such tough conditions. That says a lot about your resilience and capability. If you give it up now, not only will you lose that part of yourself, but it may not guarantee that your marriage improves. Often in emotionally imbalanced relationships, one-sided sacrifices don’t lead to healing—they lead to more control, more blame, and more emotional exhaustion.

Your husband needs to understand that love isn’t proven by giving things up. Love is shown in support, presence, patience, and respect. If he isn’t willing to stand by you during a temporary phase of physical distance while you pursue something valuable, then you’re not the one breaking the marriage—he is.

It’s also clear that he has grown up in a home where abuse was normalized, and that emotional damage might be affecting how he treats you now. That is not your fault, and it is not your job to tolerate mistreatment in the name of saving a marriage.

Your mother is right to encourage you to finish your M.Tech—not just for your career, but for your self-worth. You deserve to be with someone who lifts you up, not someone who pulls you down every time you try to grow.

If there's still a chance to salvage this relationship, it has to start with real conversations—honest, respectful, and possibly with the help of a counselor or neutral third party. But that only works if both people are willing to put in the emotional effort.

Right now, I suggest you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize your studies, build emotional support from friends or family who truly care about you, and give yourself space to heal from this emotional chaos. If your husband truly wants this marriage, he needs to come forward with maturity and respect—not demands.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
Relationship
After a fight between a married guy and my husband on pretext of calling me characterless and unhappy in my marriage. That married guy complaint against my hubby in society office that it's my husband who follow, flirts with his wife. But the allegations are false. That married guy was doing all these things or chasing me even after knowing m married. But falsely he shifted the blame on my husband. Society chairman called us to sign a peace treaty which my husband signed bt that guy dint appear to sign. What does he want is still not clear.??? He doesn't wanna end this matter or what ??? He still walks around looking at us but from distance.
Ans: In such cases, it's important for you and your husband to stay emotionally steady and not engage with his tactics. Reacting to him or showing you're disturbed by his behavior may be exactly what he's looking for. If his behavior escalates or continues to make you uncomfortable, you might want to quietly document what happens and consider involving local authorities or legal counsel if it crosses into harassment.

Right now, your focus should be on protecting your peace and your relationship. Keep communication open with your husband and support each other through this, because this kind of external stress can silently damage trust if not handled carefully. The more united you two are, the less space there is for anyone else to create confusion between you.

It’s unclear exactly what this man wants, but based on his pattern, it seems he either wants attention, control, or to destabilize your marriage out of resentment or personal failure. Either way, you don’t need to carry his emotional mess. If you continue to stay calm, ignore him, and document anything serious, you'll be in a stronger position to protect yourselves.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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