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Struggling With Screen Time Addiction: My 5-Year-Old's Tantrums Are Out of Control - What Can I Do?

Dr Deepa Suvarna |157 Answers |Ask -Follow

Paediatrician - Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Dr Deepa Suvarna is a practising paediatrician with 25 years of experience. She completed her MD in paediatrics from the TN Medical College and BYL Nair Hospital, MBBS from the King Edward Memorial Hospital and Seth Gordhandas Sunderdas Medical College and diploma in child health from the College of Physicians and Surgeons.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi

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Hi, I’m genuinely worried about my 5-year-old son’s growing attachment to screens. What started as occasional cartoon time or a few educational videos on a tablet has now turned into a full-blown addiction. Whether it’s TV, a phone, or a tablet, he’s glued to the screen, and the moment we try to take it away, he throws massive tantrums -- screaming, crying, and sometimes even refusing to eat or sleep until he gets it back. Initially, it felt harmless. We thought a little screen time would keep him engaged, especially during meals or long car rides, and honestly, it gave us some breathing room to get things done. But now, it feels like we’ve created a monster. He’s losing interest in toys, outdoor play, and even interacting with other kids. When we suggest activities like drawing, reading, or puzzles, he dismisses them and demands the screen instead. Doctor, how do we approach this problem without triggering endless meltdowns every time we limit his screen time?

Ans: It will be difficult but you have to be firm
Tell him that he has a total time of 1 hour. To be divided as per his choice. But once the time is reached take the screen or remote away. Regardless of the tantrum , the rule should not change. It will take a week till he realises you are serious and won't back down. Take him to a children's park or organise a play time with a friend or a trip to the zoo on holidays. Start reading a book with him.

DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.

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Dr Bakshi how can I limit my child's screen time in a positive way? My son gets very annoyed when I switch off the tv or limit his screen time. How do I deal with his tantrums and aggressive behaviour?

Ans: Dear Divya, Hope and fear in my opinion are the strongest emotions. And we learn parenting on the job. Secondly, mirroring is a well-worked upon strategy. Technology, including screen time gives us 'dopamine' and increases our senses uses. On the contrary, a normal paced life seems no fun and 'monotonous'. Every child wishes to push boundaries and present their self-identity. This leads to arguments and tempers soaring on both sides, a parents and also from the child. Strategies that help: 1. Put down your device and talk of your day to the family. 2. Listening, and agreeing, discussions as a family while eating meals is a great connect. 3. Having no-tech zones as bedrooms and dinning tables is another. 4. Lastly, give the child half an hour during a weekday and an extra 1 hour during weekends helps. It's 'what should I do' 'I am bored' reasons that demand the 'dopamine fix. And Divya, inviting children of the same age who all play together with your child works. Family game nights, dancing together and bed time stories work too. Do revert, on what worked.

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 16, 2023Hindi

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My 5 YO son is addicted to gadgets. He gets very angry if we switch it off. We have tried to hide the TV remote, change the password on the mobile and set strict rules for TV and gadgets at home. He agrees temporarily. But on the rare occassion he gets it for a few extra minutes on an available device, he displays the same behaviour. How do we fix this?

Ans: The screen time takes away lot of productive time of the child and doesn't allow them to develop their skill sets.
So to reduce it , we need to take care of following:

1.You should gradually reduce it and at a time when you are there to monitor and are able to spend time with him.

2.You should be giving him equally reinforcing activities( reading books, sensory activities etc) so that the child is able to spend more time with Activity instead of gadgets.

3. Consistency is the key , hence being consistent with your efforts is important.
4.Once you achieve the goal of reducing at one time, you can gradually start the same at other time intervals too.

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Question by Shubham - Apr 05, 2023Hindi

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Hello Anu - we have a 5 year old son and he's getting out of our control these days and we don't know how to handle him. His actions and tantrums are mischievous and hurtful at the same time. Earlier he used to get scared from his mother but she's also losing control over him these days. If we scream or shout, he repeats the same things that kind of irritates us more. If we try to be reasonable with him, it's of no use - he takes us for granted. If we tell him about repercussions on his actions like a timeout or no tv time or no play time, he does not listen and at the end we give him to his crying. He also becomes uncontrollably violent at times - though he thinks it's a game, but in reality his actions literally hurt us. I know partially I am to blame as when he was younger, these violent games looked fun but now that he's older and stronger, they are not fun anymore to me or anyone in our house. I've tried to explain him, but at the end he is just 5 years old! Every morning to night it's a mountaineous challenge for us. My wife and I talk after he sleeps, decide what to do or not do from the next dat but bam! it's just the same routine every single day. Moreover my wife is pregnant with our second child so I fear this might have a bad effect on our 2nd baby as my wife remains stressed out. I know this could be every parent - but then if it happens that often, is there a solution? Can you help us?

Ans: Dear Shubham,
How is it possible for a 5-year old to understand logic when he is throwing an emotional fit (tantrum)?
Like you said it yourself; when it could have been stopped and changed, it wasn't done. He probably felt that it was fine to behave 'violently' (though I don't understand the context in which you use this word).
Now. all of a sudden when you and your wife are trying to stop him, he is pulling away as this behaviour was rewarded earlier. he has your earlier silence as your love and affection for which which he fears will be withdrawn now if he stops his behaviour.
So, logic isn't going to work; it doesn't work with adults, and here the child is merely 5 years.
So undoing what was done is going to take a lot of effort and patience (beyond all the talk that you and yoir wife are doing).
Start by:
- ignoring his tantrums; he will time-out himself in exhaustion
- talking to him at his eye level; get down on your knees, so he doesn't feel intimidated by your height
- hugging him a lot; a caring touch is worth a thousand words
- telling him how excited you both were when he was born; this can ensure that he will be special even after the arrival of the new baby
- distracting him with creative things; story telling and fine motor skill games improve focus and concentration
- cutting down on foods filled with sugar; sugar boost is artificial and can make a child or anyone go a little anxious
- ensuring him that he is loved a lot; saying it aloud while hugging him will soften his behaviour over time

Try these and I hope they work. If not, kindly without delay seek an appointment with a professional who can deal with children at your son's age.

All the best!

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Hello My son is addictive to scree in form of videos, web series or games. I tried many things like make him understand or by giving treats if he reduced screen time or sometimes scolding but nothing is working. He is like habitual and whenever he gets chance he just grab a mobile, tab or remote of telivision. Please guide me how to change his habit. I am really worried as this is affecting his health and study. Thank you in advance.

Ans: Coming out of screen addiction is hard but with your consistency and resilience it can be done.
You can take a note of entire number of hours been spent on the screen.
After this try to reduce it by each day or two only half an hour to hour and praise the effort taken to do that. Motivate your child to have some fun times together with you by going for walks and starting participation in some sort of games together. It's going to be a gradual process then it will not be overwhelming for both of you.

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Hello Aruna ji, my child is 2 years and 6 months old. we feel gradually he is being attracted by mobile screen. how to control it. what is maximum time to give him screen time including tv?

Ans: You can involve the child in alternative activities and keep him engaged. There can be various sensory Activities like sand Play, water play etc. which will be equally or more reinforcing and this will help you to reduce the screen time.You should avoid giving screen time and it should not be more than 15 to 20 min in a day.

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