Home > Health > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Aug 24, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2023Hindi
Listen
Health

How should a person loving children, but having no children of his own be, spouse doesn't like adoption. I see every child (nephew/niece) as my own kids, but it hurts when they don't correspond until me as they do with their parents. Feeling very depressed, but cannot show it out

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A great way to be part of a child's/childrens lives is to support them. Playing games, teaching them a skill, even creating content as life lessons. A favourite uncle is a great position to have.
support in arranging picnics, birthday party help as a game event manager for neices and nephews also is another way.
writing stories for children or volunteering at local libraries will get lots of children to hear you.
Supporting children in NGO's is another way.

A suggestion to kindly consider is that parents are comfortable with 'trusted adults' who maintain 'personal bubble space' and follow 'safe and unsafe rules'. Go ahead and think of great fun games, children of all ages can and will connect if you have a playground near your home.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
Health

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2021

Listen
Relationship
I'm an orphan and somehow I'm financially stable. After Covid my wife also lost almost all her family members. So kind of both are orphans now. We want at least 10 children now and this is well thought decision. My wife is over 35 still recovering with post Caeserian trauma after our 1st child naturally our target is impossible now however best sex or ways we try. She too is ready for anything any relationship which can give us minimum 10 children (genetically ours) and adoption we'll consider only out of love and not this or other needs, to add family beyond 10 children, if possible. With nasty bad luck, we have no other choice except this well thought decision. Kindly help us know how we can achieve. We're ready for any sort of extra marital or any other relationships or surrogacy etc. Please help Anu ma'am.
Ans: Dear D, It is indeed a tough phase that you have been through.

Losing loved ones is very draining emotionally and I can only imagine the pain that you both feel.

Having said this, I am not about to question or judge why you want 10 children or the methods you want to achieve that number. That's your personal decision.

But my job as a Mind Coach is to point out that extra marital affairs and a pregnancy from that can lead to complicated relationship arrangements.

Who will care for the baby? Will three people co-parent?

How do you propose to deal with the emotional and developmental effects on the baby who has to understand who is are his/her parents?

Surrogacy is an option that you might want to look at considering that your wife is also over 35 years.

Adoption is worth considering if you look a giving another child a home and also you have a child within your family.

Whatever your decision, also consider the financial responsibilities of raising 10 children.

I am only giving you various perspectives and also suggest: Please speak to someone neutral; it could be a counsellor or a close friend where you can release your grief of losing your loved ones.

Sit with them and weigh this entire proposition and hear their objective thought process.

Whatever you decide, bring a child into your home and hearts knowing that you can give them a loving home, support and care.

If you are convinced after all deliberations, make a wise decision with your wife and raise that huge family that you are dreaming of.

Be a happy family.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |742 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Jan 18, 2025

Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |868 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Jan 17, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x