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Adopting a child at 47: Is it too late?

Dr Nandita Palshetkar |13 Answers |Ask -Follow

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Nov 26, 2024

Dr Nandita Palshetkar is the medical director of Bloom IVF.
She is a pioneer in ICSI, laser hatching, spindle view, oocyte and embryo freezing, IMSI, in vivo vaginal culture, metabolomics, embryoscope and spindle check technologies.
With over 30 years of experience, Dr Nandita is managing 10 centres across India.
She has written over 100 papers, edited 25 books and given over 1,000 lectures and speeches.
She has also won several prestigious awards, including the Dronacharya Award (2021), the Bharat Gaurav Award at the House of Commons in London (2014) and the Inspiring Gynaecologists of India (2018) to name a few.
Dr Nandita completed her MBBS from Grant Medical College and Sir J J Hospital, Mumbai, and her MD in obstetrics and gynaecology from Mumbai University."... more

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2024Hindi

Health

Hi Madam, I am 47 year old woman and my husband is 50 year old. We have a son who is 16 year old. I am a housewife. My husband is busy with his startup work and my son is independent and good in his studies. At this point of my life, I feel lonely and keep thinking of adopting a child. Can I still think of adoption of a child. Please advice.

Ans: Noted
Wife 47 yrs and husband 50 years having son 16 yrs old, having a startup business
Can adopt a child but not of same gender which you have from the marriage
The minimum age difference between the child and the prospective adoptive parent must at least 25 years
Composite age of husband and wife is 97 years (if composite age between 90 to 100 years. Can adopt child above 2 years and upto 4 years)

DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2023Hindi

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I am 47 and spouse 46 and we don't have kids . We have applied for adoption(taking time) but considering age , confused about whether to adopt and if not how to life with childlessness

Ans: Dear Anonymous, Children are a blessing as well as a responsibility. Life is different for each one of us, and the mlestones are varied too. Adopting a child will have it's ups and downs, as every child comes with his/her share of emotional needs. You have each other for comfort, volunteering for helping areas with children gives a brief of all that may come. If you feel that your world will be better at home with a child, go ahead with your plans. If otherwise, picking a couple hobby,continuing with present work, visiting places helps !

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Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Aug 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2023Hindi

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How should a person loving children, but having no children of his own be, spouse doesn't like adoption. I see every child (nephew/niece) as my own kids, but it hurts when they don't correspond until me as they do with their parents. Feeling very depressed, but cannot show it out

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A great way to be part of a child's/childrens lives is to support them. Playing games, teaching them a skill, even creating content as life lessons. A favourite uncle is a great position to have.
support in arranging picnics, birthday party help as a game event manager for neices and nephews also is another way.
writing stories for children or volunteering at local libraries will get lots of children to hear you.
Supporting children in NGO's is another way.

A suggestion to kindly consider is that parents are comfortable with 'trusted adults' who maintain 'personal bubble space' and follow 'safe and unsafe rules'. Go ahead and think of great fun games, children of all ages can and will connect if you have a playground near your home.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 13, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 12, 2023Hindi

I have second marriage and staying 9 years. Now my age is 50 years, and my wife age is 40. I have one child years of years 6. I am in a managerial Position in a company. My wife is a Housewife and her behavior's, misconduct, lack of ownership towards me as well as home is always upset and irritate me. My child was born by IFV method due to her irregular period. She has got many opportunities to recover this problem and treatment also got an early-stage life. Due to lack of her understanding and knowledge, lack of own effort, irresponsible and liar nature, did not overcome her problem and therefore, we cannot go for second baby. Now me and my son also suffer from 2nd baby, though I have sufficient resource to look two children. I need to monitor all the things of my son’s health, extracurricular activity, education etc. She also neglects my mother. I feel she is very quality less and very dirty woman and talking valueless, not concern with health of own as well as other family member. Therefore, I and my wife staying in same home, but from last 4 years I have been separated from my wife and living in separate room. Sometimes I think to separate from my wife, but it may affect relation with my son as well as his mental condition. I am trying to adopt a second child also. I found she is not concern with quality, health, and economy. Therefore, I need to do home marketing, finance, monitoring home, health etc. which has already affected at my career also. Please advise me what to do? I feel my future is very dark with my wife. No emotions, no love and intimacy in the relation. I do regular walking & jogging and gardening is also my hobby.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When you seem to have decided that your wife is not going to change, no matter what happens, you will not be able to see that change. Everything about her will be irritating and annoying.
Now you say that she could have done something to avoid IVF, but why are you not thankful that you have a child now.
Having another child as well has to be the choice of both parents. Does your wife want another baby? Just by having money to support the child is not enough. You also need to have the mental and physical ability and willingness to raise another child. Also, do you think it is wise to have another child with the current relationship challenges with your wife?
There seems to be some assumptions that you have made about your wife which could have happened due to misunderstandings and arguments over years. It is definitely from both sides. But since, you are writing in...I can only address your concerns...Obviously her lack of interest in the family also suggests that she also seems to have her challenges.
So, before anything else...first work on having a better marriage and this is a suggestion for both of you! You can eat the fruit from a tree without first planting the seed for the tree to grow.

Seek the help of a professional if you can so that both of you can first learn how to communicate with each other and then settles your differences and then you can start planning a brighter future. Continue with your exercise and always try to look for what's positive in your life. It helps to tide over challenges and have a better outlook towards life!

All the best!

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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 02, 2024Hindi

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Dear Madam, I am 51 married for 19 years. I have a daughter who is 18. We have no other kids. My wife had fear for pregnancy set in after her delivery. She never wanted to conceive again. Now I want to adopt a boy may be an infant. Is it possible and what is the best option?

Ans: Adoption has its own legalities. Particularly age of the parent wanting adoption. This is to make sure the child adopted to be settled before the adopted parent retire.
Another option could be to be a Godfather and sponsor a child's education and lufe

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Question by R - Nov 19, 2024Hindi

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Sir, While filing the return for AY 2024-25, I had, by mistake, paid the balance of tax amount and TDS i.e. Self-Assessment Tax twice through online procedure. Both these amounts appeared in AIS under different BSR Codes and challan numbers on the same date. In the return, obviously, only one of the amounts had been entered and hence only one of the amounts was accounted for in the tax calculations while the other amount remained unaccounted, though appearing in AIS. The return has been duly processed under 143 (1) with no demand- no refund. Now, the question is- how can the unaccounted and unused amount appearing in AIS for AY 2024-25 shown as Self-Assessment Tax can be utilised for the next AY, viz 2025-26 as Advance Tax? What procedure should be followed? Alternatively, can this unused amount be claimed as a refund, through a revised return showing both these amounts or a rectification return would be appropriate? Shall be grateful if you kindly guide me as to how to do this. R M Khatsuria, Pune

Ans: 01. This amount paid in excess can't be claimed as ADVANCE TAX PAID in the ITR of next year.
02. You may file Revised ITR & claim back excess Income Tax Paid, which is clearly mentioned in 26AS & AIR for the relevent financial year.
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Question by shiban - Nov 21, 2024Hindi

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2024Hindi

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I took home loan from HDFC of 10 years duration in May 2023. I told them that i will be able repay the loan in few months as i was planning to sell one plot of mine. Bank employee offered insurance on home loan with return of premium scheme telling me that as soon as you repay the loan all of the premium will be returned. I was old customer so i trusted her and took insurance. Later i came to know that no refund on that policy if you surrender in one year and 60 percent deduction after 02 years. My mistake that i overlooked freelook peroid and rate of return of premium in the documents. I have repaid my whole loan and woll be completing my policy tenure of 02 years in Apr 2025. What should i do to get maximum return of the premium and should i appeal to the higher authorities about the lie told by the employee or i accept the return and sit and regret my decision? Need your valuable advice

Ans: Hello;

You may register a grievance with ombudsman of the lender stating the facts of the matter clearly.

It is upto the discretion of lender's grievance management leadership to take appropriate view of this matter and decide suitably.

Because legally it will always boil down to, you have signed up for the policy after going through all the terms and conditions and also didn't reckon that anything is wrong during the free look up period so no discussion unless you manage to get a video clip of your conversation with the bank employee, which I believe is almost impossible.

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Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Nov 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 22, 2024Hindi

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Sir, i am 42 and if i marry a 46 years old lady can we have kids of our own ? Both of us are never married and worried about this -

Ans: Noted
Husband 42 yrs
Wants to marry a woman 46 yrs and concerned about conception
Firstly, ita important to understand that as age advances the egg forming capacity of women diminishes and same with males, the sperm quality, quantity, motility also gets affected.
We need to evaluate the AMH LEVEL in woman to detect the ovarian function and other hormonal test also.
We need to do semen analysis in males after 3 to 4 days of abstinence
Chances of conception above 40 is 3 to 5 percent
But it's not impossible and can happen with assisted reproductive techniques.
Ivf Icsi techniques

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Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Nov 26, 2024

Question by paresh - Nov 24, 2024Hindi

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I am 43 years old, my periods come for 1-2 days, I have been having acidity for 5-6 months, I have gained weight, hair fall occurs, water comes out from the breasts, is this a symbol of menopause, if yes then what medicine should I take?

Ans: At age of 43, there is a hormonal imbalance which can result in weight gain, scanty menses, hair fall, discharge from nipple.
It can be due to stress, diet changes or lifestyle changes
Watery discharge from nipple can be due to impaired, raised prolactin level which can and treated with medicine under supervision of your doctor
To check for hormones
TSH, prolactin, LH, FSH, estradiol level, and correct accordingly
Weight gain can be taken care by correcting hormonal imbalance, dietary changes (including proteins less carbs, less oily and fatty food), exercises (Zumba, cardio, daily walks)
Hair fall can be taken care of by improving nutrition, including vitamin A, C, D, iron, biotin, zinc, protein, essential fatty acids and taking supplements under doctor supervision

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Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Nov 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi

Health

Sir/Ma'am, my wife aged 36 years old suffering from constipation as well as TSH 9.7. we are blessed with two children girl 12 yrs and 6 yrs old boy. She is undergoing treatment under a good Consultant Physician (Ex Resident AIIMS New Delhi) Dr Kamal Bandhu at Samastipur Bihar. She was treated for low Hb and Calcium by single dose Encicarb IV and medicine. Lal path lab report for Hb -9.5 and HB1ac -5.7, Vitamin B12- 135 and vitamin D- 45. Recently she missed the period after last period was on 18 Oct 24 but till now no period came. Urine pregnancy test was also carried out twice with the help of two different UPT strip and result was negative twice. We are not in physical contact since 19 Sep 24 due to job location. Kindly suggest in case she missed her period

Ans: History noted
Since she missed her periods, tsh higher side
Urine pregnancy test twice negative
I would advise
1) to get one usg pelvis done to rule out any cyst
2) hormonal test
Tsh , prolactin
Since TSH is high, advisable to start thyroid medications tab thyronorm to bring down the tsh level to within normal limits
If usg pelvis is normal
Can give withdrawal bleed in form of progesterone pills to get periods.
Keep a watch on further cycles
If still irregular, then to keep on cyclic oral contraceptive pills to regularize periods
To maintain menstrual diary
To control TSH LEVEL

Dr Nandita Palshetkar |13 Answers |Ask -Follow

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Nov 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024Hindi

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Hi doctor, I am 44 years old, and my menstrual cycle is currently 20 days. I got my period on September 30, 2024, and then I took an emergency contraceptive pill (i-pill) on October 9. I had my regular period on October 21. Now, I have missed my second period; today is October 22, and I still have not started. How long should I wait for my period to arrive, or should I take a pregnancy test? This was my first time using an i-pill, so I would like some advice. Is it normal to have a delay after taking an I-pill? How many days could it be delayed? Please suggest what I should do.

Ans: Hey, since you are 44 years, you are in your peri menopausal phase which causes hormonal imbalance
But since have consumed IPILL, which is an emergency contraception, periods can be up to a week late and sometimes even later. If your period is more than a week late, we recommend taking a pregnancy test. You may have some irregular bleeding after you take the Ipill, and before your next period. This can range from spotting to heavy bleeding.
So please do home pregnancy test once to rule out pregnancy. If its negative, then await normal regular periods.

Dr Nandita Palshetkar |13 Answers |Ask -Follow

Gynaecologist, IVF expert - Answered on Nov 26, 2024

Question by Twisha - Nov 19, 2024Hindi

Health

Hello mam, I am a girl 18years old I had pcod since my period started I got my period when I was 13years that time everything was ok but after few months I was bleeding heavy getting menses 2-3in a month so my mom got very worried and she takes me to a gynaecologist and she prescription and tablets like "novelon"and then I am ok but after that I didn't get my periods for few months and also that time lockdown happened so we can't go to a gynaecologist and then after everything got normal and hospitals we go to the doctor and she asked from how many time you don't get your menses and then I replied from past 6months and she shouted on me and immediately told me to have ultrasound and after seeing the reports she said you have pcod then the rest of the story you know I am still suffering from this disease I don't get my periods if I don't take the tablets now I can't understand what to do even I changed a lot of gynaecologists but nothing happened and they this is a incurable disease you have to take tablets for lifetime and also I am not even financially strong

Ans: Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal condition that can cause irregular or absent menstrual periods.
Higher amounts of androgens in PCOS can interfere with egg development and ovulation, leading to skipped or absent periods.
One of the best ways to cope with PCOS is to maintain a healthy bodyweight, eat nutritious foods and exercise regularly.
LIFESTYLE CHANGES:
Eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and maintaining a healthy weight can help regulate your menstrual cycle
BIRTH CONTROL PILLS:
Combination oral contraceptives (COCs) can help regulate menstrual periods and treat acne and hirsutism. It can take up to six months to see if birth control is effective.
ANTIESTROGENS:
These medicines can help with skin and hair growth problems
METFORMIN
This diabetes medicine can help control ovulation and androgen levels, which can make menstrual cycles more regular
Supplements containing
Myo ionositol, chirositol, vitamin D, chromium also helps in maintaining pco

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