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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
D Question by D on Aug 12, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

I'm an orphan and somehow I'm financially stable. After Covid my wife also lost almost all her family members. So kind of both are orphans now.

We want at least 10 children now and this is well thought decision.

My wife is over 35 still recovering with post Caeserian trauma after our 1st child naturally our target is impossible now however best sex or ways we try.

She too is ready for anything any relationship which can give us minimum 10 children (genetically ours) and adoption we'll consider only out of love and not this or other needs, to add family beyond 10 children, if possible.

With nasty bad luck, we have no other choice except this well thought decision.

Kindly help us know how we can achieve. We're ready for any sort of extra marital or any other relationships or surrogacy etc.

Please help Anu ma'am.

Ans: Dear D, It is indeed a tough phase that you have been through.

Losing loved ones is very draining emotionally and I can only imagine the pain that you both feel.

Having said this, I am not about to question or judge why you want 10 children or the methods you want to achieve that number. That's your personal decision.

But my job as a Mind Coach is to point out that extra marital affairs and a pregnancy from that can lead to complicated relationship arrangements.

Who will care for the baby? Will three people co-parent?

How do you propose to deal with the emotional and developmental effects on the baby who has to understand who is are his/her parents?

Surrogacy is an option that you might want to look at considering that your wife is also over 35 years.

Adoption is worth considering if you look a giving another child a home and also you have a child within your family.

Whatever your decision, also consider the financial responsibilities of raising 10 children.

I am only giving you various perspectives and also suggest: Please speak to someone neutral; it could be a counsellor or a close friend where you can release your grief of losing your loved ones.

Sit with them and weigh this entire proposition and hear their objective thought process.

Whatever you decide, bring a child into your home and hearts knowing that you can give them a loving home, support and care.

If you are convinced after all deliberations, make a wise decision with your wife and raise that huge family that you are dreaming of.

Be a happy family.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2024Hindi
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I'm 28 years old guy married ..i married my uncle's daughter.i have 2 male kids.we are enjoying our life .I want to 3 more kids (2 male kids 1 female kid ).how can I make my wife convince for 3 more babies ..??pls tell me
Ans: To approach the conversation about wanting more children with your wife, start by understanding her perspective. Consider her physical and emotional well-being, her experience with the current family dynamics, and her views on expanding the family. Pregnancy and raising children are significant undertakings, and it’s important to recognize the impact on her.
It’s essential to listen to her response carefully and with an open mind. Understand that she may have concerns or reservations, such as the impact on her health, the family’s finances, or the time and energy required to raise more children. Address these concerns thoughtfully and discuss practical solutions together.

Consider discussing the potential benefits and challenges of having more children, focusing on aspects like the joy of a larger family, the sibling relationships, and how it aligns with your shared vision for the future. Make sure to talk about the practical aspects, such as financial stability and the support system you would need.

Remember that this is a joint decision. Your wife's comfort and enthusiasm about expanding the family are crucial. Be prepared for ongoing conversations and give her time to think and express her thoughts. It’s important to ensure that both of you are on the same page and are willing to move forward together.

Ultimately, the goal is to reach a decision that reflects both of your desires and respects each other's needs and well-being. This might involve compromise and patience, but approaching the conversation with empathy and openness will help you navigate it successfully.

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1331 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 26, 2024Hindi
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Hi Madam, I have a 17 years old daughter and have been struggling with an issue for some time now. She takes very long time in bathroom for getting ready. She takes minimum 1.5 hrs daily for getting ready. This includes time spent in teeth brushing,bathing and defecation. When I asked her then she told me she feels like cleaning multiple times and thus it takes time. I have tried multiple ways to ge her to resolve this but none has worked. She is a very sincere, gentle kid and She becomes very aggressive when I try to persist her to solve this. she takes a lot of time in washing, bathing and ends up consuming very high amount of soap. This has had effect on other hygiene related aspects like She developed extreme dryness in skin for which we had to take very long treatment from dermatalogist. The dermatalogist also counselled her many times to use limited amount of soap and fix time for every activity in bathroom. I think it is some form of OCD. It has had effect on other things like studies as she is not able to get ready on time and thus ends up compromising on other activities like eating time, studies time. I have tried to counsel her many times but it has not worked. I told her the problems which start due to this which impact her. I suggested that we meet some professional(like psychologist/psychiatrist/counsellers) but she doesn't agree to it. whenever i say to consult somebody then she says that she will fix it and for 1-2 days it gets a little better but then she goes to her old routine. I don't want to forcibly take her to any professionals as she might develop a complex that she is inferior. 1.How do i handle this issue 2.How do I convince her to meet some professional 3.Which professional should we meet. psychologist or psychiatrist or any other Please suggest what I should do as it is now becoming big problems
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The challenge is convincing someone who does not want to be convinced.
Probably, you can strike a deal with her; saying that she can set this right her way, but if it does not happen, then you see and work with a professional. That way she would have committed to it herself.
I would not label it an OCD until it is diagnosed by an expert but behavioral changes like these are usually related to emotional issues. It is best that an expert who understands the mind handle this.
Until such time that you take her to an expert:
- try not to talk about it repeatedly; this causes her to become conscious and this can increase the behavior
- take away soaps/body washes after her first shower
- observe any change in behavior - agitation/nervousness towards any incident during the day and if it results in her indulging in washing herself after that and note that down

Yes, it is necessary for this to be handled at the earliest and there's only a little that you can do personally as emotional triggers need the assistance of someone who understands it deeply and then guides the person accordingly to not just change the behavior but eliminate the cause behind it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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