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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 09, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2023Hindi
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Dear Doctor, My son is 15 years old but his mental growth is that of 10 year old. He needs immense hand holding for studies and outdoor activites. He was able to complete all activities whichever counsellors provided him. By nature is very soft and lags in physical and mental growth. As per counsellor he is in border of normal child. Request any useful guidance to improve him

Ans: Hello,
Every child is different and 'normal' is such a big range. The needs of every child are varied, first see his strengths, does he enjoy art, playing a musical instrument, cooking, editing videos, creating models, etc. Working on something he loves will strengthen his focus and dexterity.
A few suggestions:
Repeating the activities done with counsellor at school/centre; at home will support your child.
Audio notes and mindmaps for studies help, connect with his counsellor for that.

Lastly, do some fun activity together as a family. Painting, pottery, Yoga, singing or dancing, it will help him build physical strength further.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |106 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

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Hello Sir, My Son 14 years old studing in 9th Standard has not pay attention in studing, He is sleeping & lazy in all the Periods of School classroom.His body language is very idle & he has very Lazy guy. this is may due to he not eating healty food like, dryfruits, vegetable (eathing Junk Food) instead our so many attempt to do so. Myself & wife do all the attempt to improve him but we are failed in all the attempt. his school marks are only 30 to 40% & we are very much scare that he is going to failed in 9th standared. he also not listing to Teachers & our Advice but only ignore & sometimes arrogant in the argument. we have changes so many classes & private tution to improve in studey & behavour, but all attempts did not work. his only interest in Cricket, watching TV & Mobile. Request to need your valuable advice & tips to make changes in my son.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling in school. It's great that you and your wife are trying to help him. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Encourage healthy habits: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help improve focus and concentration.

2. Create a study-friendly environment: Make sure your son has a quiet, well-lit space to study. Remove any distractions, such as TV or mobile phones, during study time.

3. Set goals: Work with your son to set achievable goals for his studies. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks.

4. Reward progress: Celebrate your son's successes, no matter how small. Rewards can be as simple as a favorite meal or activity.

5. Encourage active learning: Encourage your son to take an active role in his learning. This can include asking questions, taking notes, and summarizing what he's learned.

6. Get support: Consider enlisting the help of a tutor or academic coach. They can provide additional support and guidance to help your son succeed.

Remember, every child learns differently, so it may take some time to find what works best for your son. Be patient and supportive, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |50 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

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Good Day Madam, I have 2 son, aged 11 and 7. The elder one is very intelligent, performs really good in school, high appreciated in school. But 1. he is slow, he eats, performs tasks - bathing, brushing etc all very very slowly, and his diet is less than my younger one. 2. His physical growth too is not very good, and is one of the shortest, thinnest in class. We do worry about him a lot. But then he stood 1st in racing in class ! 3. Also if we give/ teacher gives him a task he does it perfectly, but he cannot think /innovate, for which we feel is he been spoon feeded? 4. We both also feel sometimes that he is very capable and we are not able to give him direction/guidance/environment to excel.
Ans: Ashishji can you pls reframe the question? The concerns are about which child, the elder one or the younger one? Pls come back again...But for now, I can say when we have two children we are always comparing... if they are of the same sex then the comparison goes up, manifold. Can we treat each child as an individual? Treat each child separately, address each child's concerns, his strengths and weaknesses separately. You have listed so many positives in your children. Give a lot of positive strokes to each child. It is important that you spend time individually with each child. You want them to grow up as happy, healthy children and supportive brothers then STOP COMAPARING the children !! For your elder one, time to focus on so many strengths he already has, nurture his talents, give him an atmosphere where he can flourish and hire experts to hone his skills. I know this feeling, when we have very intelligent children, we always think we are incapable as parents. As a parent you are the best well wisher for the child, this is the only relation in this universe where someone ( your child) is more important than yourself, trust yourself as a parent, YOU WANT ONLY THE BEST FOR YOUR CHILD!! Cherish each child, they are gifts from GOD! Happy parenting...

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