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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |95 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Mar 21, 2024

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more
Ashish Question by Ashish on Dec 20, 2023Hindi
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Career

Good Day Madam, I have 2 son, aged 11 and 7. The elder one is very intelligent, performs really good in school, high appreciated in school. But 1. he is slow, he eats, performs tasks - bathing, brushing etc all very very slowly, and his diet is less than my younger one. 2. His physical growth too is not very good, and is one of the shortest, thinnest in class. We do worry about him a lot. But then he stood 1st in racing in class ! 3. Also if we give/ teacher gives him a task he does it perfectly, but he cannot think /innovate, for which we feel is he been spoon feeded? 4. We both also feel sometimes that he is very capable and we are not able to give him direction/guidance/environment to excel.

Ans: Ashishji can you pls reframe the question? The concerns are about which child, the elder one or the younger one? Pls come back again...But for now, I can say when we have two children we are always comparing... if they are of the same sex then the comparison goes up, manifold. Can we treat each child as an individual? Treat each child separately, address each child's concerns, his strengths and weaknesses separately. You have listed so many positives in your children. Give a lot of positive strokes to each child. It is important that you spend time individually with each child. You want them to grow up as happy, healthy children and supportive brothers then STOP COMAPARING the children !! For your elder one, time to focus on so many strengths he already has, nurture his talents, give him an atmosphere where he can flourish and hire experts to hone his skills. I know this feeling, when we have very intelligent children, we always think we are incapable as parents. As a parent you are the best well wisher for the child, this is the only relation in this universe where someone ( your child) is more important than yourself, trust yourself as a parent, YOU WANT ONLY THE BEST FOR YOUR CHILD!! Cherish each child, they are gifts from GOD! Happy parenting...
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Hi Madam, I am a 46 yrs old male doing business, my wife is a housewife and 37 yrs old and we have a baby boy of 8 yrs old studying in class III in a reputed ICSE board school. My issue is with my child. Issue no. 1. Most of the time, he does not listen to both of us, whether we are telling him in soft voice or in angry voice. It is applicable not only in studies but also in other activities also. Issue no. 2. He is telling unnecessary lie. It is related to studying, playing and also day to day activities. Issue no. 3. This is most vital, he is studying in one of the best school in our city. But he is not at all interested in writing, we every time need to push him a lot for writing in the time of studies. His teachers often complain that even in exam time he is seating idle and they used to push him to write. But as he is now in class III, it is not possible for the teachers to push him to write in the exams. We are very much scared about this issue. Pls help.
Ans: Dear Parents, here are a few suggestions:
1.Find out the root cause- is it too much technology and that’s why the child cannot concentrate; or learning gaps and your child is unable to understand his studies. Or is he getting tired of writing? Or a focus concern?
2. Peer check: find out what he enjoys with his friends, and work in short periods to revise his studies, write in bullet points and then play. Come back, blurt his study understanding and do a little more studies.
3. Fear builds escaping attitude: once cause is settled, building on his basic knowledge can start.
4. Talk and express as a family: it helps to build relationships.
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Dr Ashish Sehgal  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

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Hello Sir, My Son 14 years old studing in 9th Standard has not pay attention in studing, He is sleeping & lazy in all the Periods of School classroom.His body language is very idle & he has very Lazy guy. this is may due to he not eating healty food like, dryfruits, vegetable (eathing Junk Food) instead our so many attempt to do so. Myself & wife do all the attempt to improve him but we are failed in all the attempt. his school marks are only 30 to 40% & we are very much scare that he is going to failed in 9th standared. he also not listing to Teachers & our Advice but only ignore & sometimes arrogant in the argument. we have changes so many classes & private tution to improve in studey & behavour, but all attempts did not work. his only interest in Cricket, watching TV & Mobile. Request to need your valuable advice & tips to make changes in my son.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling in school. It's great that you and your wife are trying to help him. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Encourage healthy habits: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help improve focus and concentration.

2. Create a study-friendly environment: Make sure your son has a quiet, well-lit space to study. Remove any distractions, such as TV or mobile phones, during study time.

3. Set goals: Work with your son to set achievable goals for his studies. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks.

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6. Get support: Consider enlisting the help of a tutor or academic coach. They can provide additional support and guidance to help your son succeed.

Remember, every child learns differently, so it may take some time to find what works best for your son. Be patient and supportive, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.

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Kanchan Rai  |496 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

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hi sir im in a relationship with a guy who i met in hyd we have been together since one year he is a hindu nd im a christian we both love eachother and wanna marry but my parents r against it bcoz he comes from a hindu family and they r forcing me to get married to a christian guy i love him i never got love from my parents when he is giving me the love i want my parents have seperated me from him im not able to understand what to do plz help
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
It’s important to start by having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Try to understand their concerns and share your feelings with them. Express how much this relationship means to you, focusing on the love, respect, and support you and your partner share, rather than just the religious differences.

If this approach doesn’t work, consider involving a trusted family member, friend, or community leader who might help mediate the situation. Sometimes, having an external perspective can help bridge the gap between differing viewpoints. You should also reflect on the long-term implications of your decision. Think about whether you’re ready to face the potential challenges of a mixed-religion marriage, including societal pressures and family dynamics. Having in-depth discussions with your partner about these issues is crucial to ensure you’re both on the same page.

If your parents remain opposed, you may need to consider seeking counseling or therapy. A counselor can help you process your emotions and provide strategies for dealing with family conflicts. They can also offer guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your parents. Building a support system outside of your family, whether through friends, mentors, or support groups, can also be invaluable during this time. It’s important to have people who understand and support your decisions.

Ultimately, the decision about whether to continue with your relationship despite your parents' opposition is yours. You’ll need to weigh the emotional and practical consequences, including the possibility of estrangement or ongoing family conflict. It’s vital to prioritize your happiness and well-being. If you believe that your relationship brings you genuine love and fulfillment, standing by your choice is valid. However, be prepared for the challenges that may come and have a plan in place to manage them. This is a deeply personal decision, and whatever path you choose should align with what feels right for you and your future.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |496 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi
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URGENT Hello kanchan ma'am Please help. I am a divorced working woman , with a daughter 8 yrs. I have been pursued for remarriage with a guy who is 10 yrs older to me and have 2 kids. 11 and 14 yrs respectively living in a small town. Initially it was agreed the elder child who is a boy would be living in hostel , but now since we are approaching near to the marriage, it seems the elder male child is going to stay at home and not hostel. This is making me really uncomfortable as I won't get much privacy also the male child is aggressive.Already handling one kid was difficult before. Also moving to small town was difficult transition from a metropolitan that I stay in. Moving there could mean losing job opportunities in future. I am really worried if I let this match go, I end up alone again. I am not able to make a decision, it's difficult to raise others children. It's just not naturally inbuilt in us.Although I try really hard to mould my thinking and be more generous, but somehow it suffocates me.
Ans: start by having a direct and open conversation with your prospective partner. It’s crucial to clearly communicate your feelings about the elder child staying at home, especially regarding the need for privacy and the impact of his aggressive behavior. Explain how this change affects your comfort and daily life, emphasizing the importance of maintaining a harmonious living environment.

In tackling the privacy issue, consider discussing potential adjustments to the home’s layout. Creating separate living spaces or setting up rules that establish personal boundaries can help ensure everyone feels comfortable. Developing a routine that allows for private time with your daughter will also be essential in maintaining a balance.

Regarding the transition to a small town, research the local job market thoroughly. Look for opportunities that align with your career goals and consider remote work options if they’re available. It’s also important to engage with the local community to build a support network. Attend community events, meet potential neighbors, and get a feel for the town’s environment. Having a backup plan, such as maintaining connections in your current city or setting aside a financial cushion, will give you added security should the move not work out as expected.

Blending families is a significant emotional and practical challenge, so consider family counseling as a way to address potential conflicts and improve communication. A counselor can provide valuable strategies to help everyone adjust to the new living arrangements and understand each other’s perspectives. To ease into this change, propose a trial period where you can test the dynamics without committing long-term right away. This will give you the opportunity to evaluate how well you and your daughter adapt to the new situation.

Lastly, it’s essential to address your fear of being alone. Reframe this fear by focusing on the positives of independence. Remind yourself that it’s better to be single and emotionally secure than in a relationship that feels overwhelming or stifling. Use this time to invest in personal growth, hobbies, and building a fulfilling life for you and your daughter. Keeping an open mind about future relationships is healthy, but it’s important to ensure any new partnership aligns with your values and meets your emotional needs.

By taking these steps, you can approach the situation with clarity, ensuring that any decision you make is grounded in what’s best for your well-being and that of your daughter.

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