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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Jun 23, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Srikanth Question by Srikanth on Jun 05, 2023Hindi
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Dear Sir, my son is a 16 yrs old he has autistic features, we have enrolled him into a special resedential school, he is studying their since last 20 months. He has shown little improvement however we have found out that he is just a trainable child at scale of 4 out of 10 the challenge is inspite of spending 20 months in the school he is still missing his parents, however we manage to visit the school once in three months to ensure he does not miss us. As parents we want to give him as much help as possible to make him independent. Not sure what else can be done to improve or fasten his, learning to make him independent child, need your expert advise here.

Ans: A school working with students will work at the pace of your child adapting and always keeping in mind his needs. All children miss their parents and that’s fine. Sending him communication by emails, telephones, audible messages are options in between your visits to keep in touch with your son. Skills are built over months, you could contact the school for his IEP and skill development plans. You can always give your inputs and trust the educators who are professionals to do best for your child.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Dear Doc., My Son falls under handicapped category. he is good in studies and intelligent. Has a postgraduate degree. because of his problem, he likes to stay aloof and stay at home, may be because of his hearing and speech problem. doesn't like to go out and any one visiting us. He is not using his intelligence in concrete work/ manner. Any kind of screen is his best time pass and remains irritated and angry. how to counsel him is our problem, because the moment we try to discuss about his progress, going to job etc. he disengages himself and goes away. please advise.
Ans: It sounds like your son may be struggling with some social and emotional challenges related to his hearing and speech problem, and it's understandable that this could impact his ability to communicate and socialize with others. As a psychologist, I would recommend the following suggestions to help counsel your son:

Validate his feelings: Let your son know that you understand that it can be difficult for him to navigate social situations with his hearing and speech challenges. Validate his feelings and reassure him that he is not alone in feeling this way.

Encourage social interaction: While your son may be comfortable at home, it's important to encourage him to interact with others outside of the home as well. This could be through community events, volunteering, or joining social groups for individuals with similar challenges. Gradually exposing him to new situations can help him build confidence and develop new skills.

Focus on strengths and interests: Encourage your son to pursue his interests and strengths, whether it's in academics, music, or any other area. This can help him develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Explore therapy options: Counseling or therapy can be an effective way for your son to work through his challenges and develop coping strategies. Consider exploring therapy options, such as speech therapy, social skills training, or cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can be tailored to meet his specific needs.

Use positive reinforcement: When your son makes progress, offer positive reinforcement and encouragement. Celebrate his accomplishments, even if they are small, to help build his confidence and motivation.

Remember, counseling and support is a process that takes time, patience, and persistence. Be sure to approach your son with empathy and understanding, and work together to develop a plan that supports his well-being and personal growth.

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Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on Mar 22, 2024

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My son is of 19 years old, is mildly autistic, has a bit slow comprehension of instructions given to him. lives in his own world , and left schooling due to bad academic grasp. very docile in nature. Can u advise on any life grooming path/procedure for him...
Ans: Dear Dipentu,

Thank you for writing in

Few aspects to look at
Identify your son's strengths and weaknesses and encourage him to explore that aligns with his abilities and interests
Life skill development and prioritizing on life skills like self-care- money management, learning to write his name and signature, organizing his room, etc. This will make him independent as he grows older.
Social skills development can opt for group activities/ therapy, and encourage him to take part in social activities, where he gets an opportunity to interact with others.
Have a personalized education plan -look for professionals who can tailor the education to his unique needs and goals.
Therapeutic Support- Consider enrolling your son in therapy or counseling with the experts to address any emotional, behavioral, or social challenges if any. Such therapy sessions help the individual in building self-confidence, coping skills, and resilience.
Have a fixed, structured, and supportive environment- Provide clear instructions, visual supports, and consistent routines to help your son navigate daily tasks and responsibilities. Plan the discipline around him. Have a schedule and tell him what he needs to follow. For example- Keep a watch in front of him with a timer and alarm and tell him you will do this X activity until the alarm rings. Give direct instructions to him. To say in big or multiple sentences. For example- Come Here, Sit here, Do this, etc.
Exercises- there are certain exercises you can make him do that will help him to do better. You can find these exercises on Youtube or look for professional experts.
Importantly be patient, supportive, persistent, and positive in guiding him and making him a confident individual.

Hope this helps.
To Your Success
Thanks and Regards
Ashwini Dasgupta
Author of Confidence Decoded. Is it a Skill or Attitude?

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My son is 11 years old. He had physical and mental related issues. He is going to a special school. I am not able to admit him to the normal school as he is not able to write properly. I am really worried about his education and future. Kindly advise what I need to do for his education and future.
Ans: I understand your concerns about your son's education and future, and I want to reassure you that enrolling him in a special school is a positive step. Although long term it must be inclusive education. It’s great that he is receiving the tailored support he needs. To further support his development, continue with a multi-disciplinary approach by working with physiotherapists, rehabilitation psychologists, and other specialists who can address both his physical and mental needs. Utilizing all available resources at his special school, including individualized education plans (IEPs) and therapies, will also be beneficial.

Additionally, obtaining a disability certificate can provide access to extra resources and support. Consider exploring National Trust schemes that may offer additional assistance and benefits. Joining a parent support group can also be incredibly valuable, providing you with emotional support and practical advice from others who are in similar situations.

Your dedication and patience are crucial, and every small achievement is a step forward. With continued support and the right resources, he can make significant progress. Don’t hesitate to reach out to his educators and therapists for personalized advice and assistance.

Wishing you and your son all the best.

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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