Dear Sir, my son is a 16 yrs old he has autistic features, we have enrolled him into a special resedential school, he is studying their since last 20 months. He has shown little improvement however we have found out that he is just a trainable child at scale of 4 out of 10 the challenge is inspite of spending 20 months in the school he is still missing his parents, however we manage to visit the school once in three months to ensure he does not miss us. As parents we want to give him as much help as possible to make him independent. Not sure what else can be done to improve or fasten his, learning to make him independent child, need your expert advise here.

Ans: It sounds like your son may be struggling with some social and emotional challenges related to his hearing and speech problem, and it's understandable that this could impact his ability to communicate and socialize with others. As a psychologist, I would recommend the following suggestions to help counsel your son:

Validate his feelings: Let your son know that you understand that it can be difficult for him to navigate social situations with his hearing and speech challenges. Validate his feelings and reassure him that he is not alone in feeling this way.

Encourage social interaction: While your son may be comfortable at home, it's important to encourage him to interact with others outside of the home as well. This could be through community events, volunteering, or joining social groups for individuals with similar challenges. Gradually exposing him to new situations can help him build confidence and develop new skills.

Focus on strengths and interests: Encourage your son to pursue his interests and strengths, whether it's in academics, music, or any other area. This can help him develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Explore therapy options: Counseling or therapy can be an effective way for your son to work through his challenges and develop coping strategies. Consider exploring therapy options, such as speech therapy, social skills training, or cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can be tailored to meet his specific needs.

Use positive reinforcement: When your son makes progress, offer positive reinforcement and encouragement. Celebrate his accomplishments, even if they are small, to help build his confidence and motivation.

Remember, counseling and support is a process that takes time, patience, and persistence. Be sure to approach your son with empathy and understanding, and work together to develop a plan that supports his well-being and personal growth.

Ans: Dear Dipentu,

Thank you for writing in

Few aspects to look at
Identify your son's strengths and weaknesses and encourage him to explore that aligns with his abilities and interests
Life skill development and prioritizing on life skills like self-care- money management, learning to write his name and signature, organizing his room, etc. This will make him independent as he grows older.
Social skills development can opt for group activities/ therapy, and encourage him to take part in social activities, where he gets an opportunity to interact with others.
Have a personalized education plan -look for professionals who can tailor the education to his unique needs and goals.
Therapeutic Support- Consider enrolling your son in therapy or counseling with the experts to address any emotional, behavioral, or social challenges if any. Such therapy sessions help the individual in building self-confidence, coping skills, and resilience.
Have a fixed, structured, and supportive environment- Provide clear instructions, visual supports, and consistent routines to help your son navigate daily tasks and responsibilities. Plan the discipline around him. Have a schedule and tell him what he needs to follow. For example- Keep a watch in front of him with a timer and alarm and tell him you will do this X activity until the alarm rings. Give direct instructions to him. To say in big or multiple sentences. For example- Come Here, Sit here, Do this, etc.
Exercises- there are certain exercises you can make him do that will help him to do better. You can find these exercises on Youtube or look for professional experts.
Importantly be patient, supportive, persistent, and positive in guiding him and making him a confident individual.

Hope this helps.
To Your Success
Thanks and Regards
Ashwini Dasgupta
Author of Confidence Decoded. Is it a Skill or Attitude?

Ans: Are you taking any therapies for the child.
You can do ABA therapy for your child if it is available in your City. NIOS is also an option. Incase ABA is not available in your city you can take online options as it will help the child to move in a proper direction by setting goals according to his current level.

Ans: I understand your concerns about your son's education and future, and I want to reassure you that enrolling him in a special school is a positive step. Although long term it must be inclusive education. It’s great that he is receiving the tailored support he needs. To further support his development, continue with a multi-disciplinary approach by working with physiotherapists, rehabilitation psychologists, and other specialists who can address both his physical and mental needs. Utilizing all available resources at his special school, including individualized education plans (IEPs) and therapies, will also be beneficial.

Additionally, obtaining a disability certificate can provide access to extra resources and support. Consider exploring National Trust schemes that may offer additional assistance and benefits. Joining a parent support group can also be incredibly valuable, providing you with emotional support and practical advice from others who are in similar situations.

Your dedication and patience are crucial, and every small achievement is a step forward. With continued support and the right resources, he can make significant progress. Don’t hesitate to reach out to his educators and therapists for personalized advice and assistance.

Wishing you and your son all the best.

Ans: I understand how difficult and frustrating this situation must be for you as parents. Your child is bright and capable, but his challenges with behavior, attention, and sitting still are making school enrollment tough. Finding the right environment that supports both his academic strengths and his needs is essential. Inclusive schools with special education support or Montessori-style learning environments may offer a more flexible and understanding approach. Occupational therapy can help increase his sitting tolerance, posture, and focus, while behavioral therapy can support emotional regulation and social interactions. You might also consider discussing the option of a shadow teacher with school staff, as one-on-one assistance in a classroom can make a big difference. In case you don't get access to an occupational therapist, approach a physiotherapist with an understanding of Sensory Integration, as they can also help with improving his body awareness and tolerance for sitting. You are not alone in this journey, and with the right support, your child can thrive. I encourage you to connect with a special educator or developmental therapist to explore the best options for him. I request you to be strong and determined. for your son.