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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Jun 23, 2023

Dr Aarti Bakshi is a psychologist licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India.
A school counsellor, she has worked for 15 years with young adults.
She has two PhD degrees -- developmental psychology from Global Institute of Healthcare Management and clinical psychology from Singhania University.
She is on the CBSE panel for counsellors and special educators. She collaborates with SAAR Education to help children develop life skills.
She has authored SEL (social emotional learning) journals for Grades 1-8.... more
Srikanth Question by Srikanth on Jun 05, 2023Hindi
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Dear Sir, my son is a 16 yrs old he has autistic features, we have enrolled him into a special resedential school, he is studying their since last 20 months. He has shown little improvement however we have found out that he is just a trainable child at scale of 4 out of 10 the challenge is inspite of spending 20 months in the school he is still missing his parents, however we manage to visit the school once in three months to ensure he does not miss us. As parents we want to give him as much help as possible to make him independent. Not sure what else can be done to improve or fasten his, learning to make him independent child, need your expert advise here.

Ans: A school working with students will work at the pace of your child adapting and always keeping in mind his needs. All children miss their parents and that’s fine. Sending him communication by emails, telephones, audible messages are options in between your visits to keep in touch with your son. Skills are built over months, you could contact the school for his IEP and skill development plans. You can always give your inputs and trust the educators who are professionals to do best for your child.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 10, 2023Hindi
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Dear Doc., My Son falls under handicapped category. he is good in studies and intelligent. Has a postgraduate degree. because of his problem, he likes to stay aloof and stay at home, may be because of his hearing and speech problem. doesn't like to go out and any one visiting us. He is not using his intelligence in concrete work/ manner. Any kind of screen is his best time pass and remains irritated and angry. how to counsel him is our problem, because the moment we try to discuss about his progress, going to job etc. he disengages himself and goes away. please advise.
Ans: It sounds like your son may be struggling with some social and emotional challenges related to his hearing and speech problem, and it's understandable that this could impact his ability to communicate and socialize with others. As a psychologist, I would recommend the following suggestions to help counsel your son:

Validate his feelings: Let your son know that you understand that it can be difficult for him to navigate social situations with his hearing and speech challenges. Validate his feelings and reassure him that he is not alone in feeling this way.

Encourage social interaction: While your son may be comfortable at home, it's important to encourage him to interact with others outside of the home as well. This could be through community events, volunteering, or joining social groups for individuals with similar challenges. Gradually exposing him to new situations can help him build confidence and develop new skills.

Focus on strengths and interests: Encourage your son to pursue his interests and strengths, whether it's in academics, music, or any other area. This can help him develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Explore therapy options: Counseling or therapy can be an effective way for your son to work through his challenges and develop coping strategies. Consider exploring therapy options, such as speech therapy, social skills training, or cognitive-behavioral therapy, which can be tailored to meet his specific needs.

Use positive reinforcement: When your son makes progress, offer positive reinforcement and encouragement. Celebrate his accomplishments, even if they are small, to help build his confidence and motivation.

Remember, counseling and support is a process that takes time, patience, and persistence. Be sure to approach your son with empathy and understanding, and work together to develop a plan that supports his well-being and personal growth.

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Ashwini

Ashwini Dasgupta  |100 Answers  |Ask -

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on Mar 22, 2024

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My son is of 19 years old, is mildly autistic, has a bit slow comprehension of instructions given to him. lives in his own world , and left schooling due to bad academic grasp. very docile in nature. Can u advise on any life grooming path/procedure for him...
Ans: Dear Dipentu,

Thank you for writing in

Few aspects to look at
Identify your son's strengths and weaknesses and encourage him to explore that aligns with his abilities and interests
Life skill development and prioritizing on life skills like self-care- money management, learning to write his name and signature, organizing his room, etc. This will make him independent as he grows older.
Social skills development can opt for group activities/ therapy, and encourage him to take part in social activities, where he gets an opportunity to interact with others.
Have a personalized education plan -look for professionals who can tailor the education to his unique needs and goals.
Therapeutic Support- Consider enrolling your son in therapy or counseling with the experts to address any emotional, behavioral, or social challenges if any. Such therapy sessions help the individual in building self-confidence, coping skills, and resilience.
Have a fixed, structured, and supportive environment- Provide clear instructions, visual supports, and consistent routines to help your son navigate daily tasks and responsibilities. Plan the discipline around him. Have a schedule and tell him what he needs to follow. For example- Keep a watch in front of him with a timer and alarm and tell him you will do this X activity until the alarm rings. Give direct instructions to him. To say in big or multiple sentences. For example- Come Here, Sit here, Do this, etc.
Exercises- there are certain exercises you can make him do that will help him to do better. You can find these exercises on Youtube or look for professional experts.
Importantly be patient, supportive, persistent, and positive in guiding him and making him a confident individual.

Hope this helps.
To Your Success
Thanks and Regards
Ashwini Dasgupta
Author of Confidence Decoded. Is it a Skill or Attitude?

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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |137 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

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My son is 11 years old. He had physical and mental related issues. He is going to a special school. I am not able to admit him to the normal school as he is not able to write properly. I am really worried about his education and future. Kindly advise what I need to do for his education and future.
Ans: I understand your concerns about your son's education and future, and I want to reassure you that enrolling him in a special school is a positive step. Although long term it must be inclusive education. It’s great that he is receiving the tailored support he needs. To further support his development, continue with a multi-disciplinary approach by working with physiotherapists, rehabilitation psychologists, and other specialists who can address both his physical and mental needs. Utilizing all available resources at his special school, including individualized education plans (IEPs) and therapies, will also be beneficial.

Additionally, obtaining a disability certificate can provide access to extra resources and support. Consider exploring National Trust schemes that may offer additional assistance and benefits. Joining a parent support group can also be incredibly valuable, providing you with emotional support and practical advice from others who are in similar situations.

Your dedication and patience are crucial, and every small achievement is a step forward. With continued support and the right resources, he can make significant progress. Don’t hesitate to reach out to his educators and therapists for personalized advice and assistance.

Wishing you and your son all the best.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |538 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

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Dear Kanchan .. Generally it happens to me, when I have to attend any hearing before courts/ Tribunal, I become more stressed till the hearing is completed. Please suggest
Ans: It’s entirely normal to feel stressed before court or tribunal hearings. These situations can be intimidating, and the anticipation of the unknown adds to the anxiety. But it’s crucial to manage this stress to ensure you perform at your best and protect your mental well-being.

Start by preparing thoroughly for the hearing. The more you know about the case, the arguments, and the possible questions, the more confident you’ll feel. Practice your statements or answers, perhaps with a colleague or in front of a mirror. Visualization can also be powerful—imagine yourself confidently presenting your case and everything going smoothly.

On the day of the hearing, use deep breathing techniques to calm your nerves. Inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale through your mouth. Repeat this several times to reduce anxiety. Positive affirmations can also help. Remind yourself that you are well-prepared and capable of handling the situation.

If the stress is overwhelming, consider grounding exercises, such as focusing on your five senses—what you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell at the moment. This can help anchor you in the present and prevent your mind from spiraling into worst-case scenarios.

After the hearing, practice self-care. Engage in activities that help you relax, like a walk, listening to music, or talking to someone you trust. If this anxiety persists or intensifies, seeking support from a mental health professional can help you develop more personalized coping strategies.

I

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |538 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 08, 2025Hindi
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My boyfriend is of a complete different religion and caste as mine. We met at work. In my past i have had only one relationship in which i got cheated on....so was skeptical on dating again. Now its been 8 months in this new relationship where he convinced me to give a try. He's a gem of a person but now he is telling melive in the present i dont know about the future. I love you n want to date you but idk about the future if my family wants me with someone i may have to end this. What do i do i am so attached for he has given me all the love n care. Please help
Ans: Right now, you need to be honest with yourself about what you want. If you’re looking for a committed future and he’s unsure, it’s essential to recognize that this uncertainty may continue to cause you pain. If you choose to stay, prepare yourself for the possibility that his family might influence his decision, and it could end in heartbreak. On the other hand, if you feel that the love and care he’s giving you right now are worth the risk, then decide to cherish the present moment while being mentally prepared for whatever may come.

Have an open and heartfelt conversation with him. Let him know how his uncertainty makes you feel, without pressuring him for a commitment. This isn’t about forcing him to decide but about understanding each other’s emotional needs and boundaries. If he truly values the relationship, this conversation might give him a deeper perspective on how his indecision affects you.

It’s important to protect your emotional well-being. If his stance remains the same and you find yourself growing more anxious and hurt by the uncertainty, then you might have to consider whether staying is good for your mental and emotional health. Sometimes letting go, even when it hurts, is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |538 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 12, 2025Hindi
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My wife 55 is unable to cope up with death of our elder son aged 27 around 2 yrs ago and is always in deep regress remorse uninterested in any daily chores including sex. I wish to move on .. Suggest way out...
Ans: Two years might seem like a long time, but grief doesn’t follow a timeline. For some, it can take much longer to even begin the process of healing, especially when it involves the loss of a child. It’s not unusual for grief to cause a complete shutdown, and that’s likely what’s happening with your wife. She’s stuck in a cycle of regret and remorse, unable to find a way out.

While you also carry the weight of this loss, your need to move forward is natural. It’s crucial to understand that wanting to heal and live again doesn’t mean you’re forgetting or dishonoring your son. It simply means you’re choosing life amidst the pain. The challenge is to find a way to do that without feeling guilty and without leaving your wife behind.

Encouraging her to seek professional help, such as grief counseling or therapy, could be a significant step. If she’s resistant, consider starting therapy for yourself first. Sometimes when one partner begins to heal, it opens the door for the other to consider healing too. Couples grief counseling could also provide a safe space for both of you to express your pain and find a way forward together.

Patience and understanding are crucial, but so is communication. Gently express to her how much you miss her presence and how you’re struggling too. Let her know you want to find a way to live again while still honoring your son’s memory.

Moving on doesn’t mean moving away from your son’s memory—it means learning to carry it in a way that doesn’t consume you. It’s a delicate balance, and seeking support can help you both find it.

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Yogendra

Yogendra Arora  |5 Answers  |Ask -

Tax Expert - Answered on Feb 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2025Hindi
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Hey, I am a freelance graphic designer based in Mumbai. I’m 40 and I've recently transitioned from a full-time job to freelancing, and I’m struggling to understand how to manage taxes on my variable income. My annual earnings are 8-15LPA approx. Are there any deductions specific to freelancers? Also, how should I plan for quarterly tax payments?
Ans: hi,
for this particular financial year you will be taxed under 2 heads ,1st under salaries for the period you were in job & for remaining part you will be taxed as business income being started freelancing work.

And for freelancers there is no any specific dedutions however all deductions available to all others are available to freelancers like 80C to 80G.

For calculation of taxation of freelancing period you should record all your receipts & expenses (only related to work, no any personal expenses) details with proper documentary evidences specially for expenses part, net of the (receipts & expenses) will be your income however you can opt for presumptive taxation also.

For Advance payment :-
if tax applicable to you during the finanical year as per calculations exceeds Rs 10000, then your have to pay advance tax quarterly as below
on or before 15th june :- minimum 15% or more of tax amount.
on or before 15th september :- minimum 45% or more of tax amount.
on or before 15th December :- minimum 75% or more of tax amount.
on or before 15th March :- full 100% tax payable as per calculations.
Happy to help.
Thanks.

...Read more

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