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My son with special needs needs educational guidance. What should I do?

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |103 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan is a senior consultant physiotherapist with over 12 years of experience specialising in orthopaedic and paediatric physiotherapy.
He has served as a technical consultant for the World Health Organisation, the United Nations, the Tata Institute of Social Sciences and several national and international NGOs.
Besides physiotherapy, he is keenly interested in disability management, early intervention, geriatric care and assisting children with disabilities.
Dr Khan has a bachelor's degree in physiotherapy from the Ravi Nair Physiotherapy College in Wardha, Maharashtra, a master's degree in disability rehabilitation administration from the National Institute for the Mentally Handicapped, Secunderabad, and a PhD in disability management from Bangalore University.... more
Vinod Question by Vinod on Apr 12, 2024Hindi
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My son is 11 years old. He had physical and mental related issues. He is going to a special school. I am not able to admit him to the normal school as he is not able to write properly. I am really worried about his education and future. Kindly advise what I need to do for his education and future.

Ans: I understand your concerns about your son's education and future, and I want to reassure you that enrolling him in a special school is a positive step. Although long term it must be inclusive education. It’s great that he is receiving the tailored support he needs. To further support his development, continue with a multi-disciplinary approach by working with physiotherapists, rehabilitation psychologists, and other specialists who can address both his physical and mental needs. Utilizing all available resources at his special school, including individualized education plans (IEPs) and therapies, will also be beneficial.

Additionally, obtaining a disability certificate can provide access to extra resources and support. Consider exploring National Trust schemes that may offer additional assistance and benefits. Joining a parent support group can also be incredibly valuable, providing you with emotional support and practical advice from others who are in similar situations.

Your dedication and patience are crucial, and every small achievement is a step forward. With continued support and the right resources, he can make significant progress. Don’t hesitate to reach out to his educators and therapists for personalized advice and assistance.

Wishing you and your son all the best.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Child counselling - psychological and career guidance Background:- My son is soon going to enter his teen age in couple of months. I’m a widow with no assistance from both sides of the family. My sons been in boarding all along however last year I brought him back, took a career backseat Working from home, dedicating all my time todays him. Off late bad company at school is influencing him and has resulted into major issues pertaining to behaviour and disrespect towards teachers, other parents and me. He doesn’t feel guilty or acknowledge the fact that he needs to stop being a bully and be the sane kind caring child he use to be. Tried someone free counselling it back fired. Education grades are dropping and he’s got no inclination towards academics. He’s interested in things that can’t earn him a career option. He was in Igcse board and has to move him to cbse so struggling with school, curriculum, new area new friends and isn’t understanding the impact of his actions. Very concerned for his future cause everything I earn was and is invested in his boarding and schooling and I’ve not saved enough for the future. What to do next? He’s been identified with Attention deficiency when he was 8yrs just before lockdown but we didn’t pursue any treatment. My frustration too comes out on him and gets the worst of me but that’s pushed him even further away from me. He’s interested are physical and not Education inclined my friends suggest remove him from these expensive schools( paying 3.5lac minimum every year) and put him in a local school and just save for my future. I can’t be so selfish. I had put him in best school and selected subjects like French so that if he goes abroad a foreign language can help and he anyways struggles to even pass in Hindi and local languages so selected a school too so that his board exams eventually he will have to write only English and French exams that can help him score. After sacrificing my time health career and money I feel in these 6 months everything is going downhill my anxiety and stress has gone out of control. His friends are being a terrible influence and it’s scary cause I’ve had some major complaints from teachers and other parents. What do I do? I can’t give up I have faith and only hope it’s just a phase I’m still loving caring and trying to talk with him and understand where can we mend things before it’s late and hoping for some guidance
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is a difficult phase that you are going through...
It will be worth pulling him out of the school for a while...it's not just to save money but also to focus on his therapy that he surely needs to get into. Also, during his therapy, you will know where his interest lie...Do remember, we are all unique...some of us take up professions that may not give us immediate money but it trickles in later or maybe it comes in the form of satisfaction rather than money.
You are attempting to secure his future and you are right as a single mom to do that because you want your son to be in a stable place which you did not experience. But his path in life is his to follow...any attempt to control it will cause the two of you a lot of emotional upheavals.
Kindly get him assessed again as you did mention Attention Deficiency...that will allow for appropriate corrective measures right away which will channelize his energies in the right direction. Otherwise both you and he will be on a roller coaster ride that never stops and this will lead to more stress and strain. Pause for a moment and put his health as a priority even if it means taking a break from school for a while. The sooner his emotions find a useful path, he will shine in what he is meant to...Take a deep breath...you are doing a great job!

All the best!

..Read more

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Hii sir ! This is ritika and I love a boy and we are in relationship since 7 years but there are some behavior of him he always have doubt on me that I am dating another boy he always says that start you screenshare in WhatsApp I even do because I don't want to lose him and he saw all of things of my phone yesterday he again asking for that and I do and there was a tab of instagram which was belongs to my roommate it was her I'd open in my chrome browser where she only wants to delete the I'd which she did from my phone these instagram thing happened approx one year ago but when he saw this I told him that was not mine but he continuously said I am cheater I cheated with him again he was like I know you have two mobile phones and you cheated with me. I love him soo much but he cannot try to accept that . Even I don't talk to my male classmate because he didn't want ki main kisi boy se baat karu Is it fair , am I cheater ? I love him unconditionally I support him in all his career or decision but again he was like I cheated with him we are in long distance relationship but I can't cheat him . Literally I am feeling depressed ????
Ans: Dear Ritika,

Please understand that you did nothing wrong. Why would you even question yourself? You know you never cheated. It's his issue that he cannot trust. Yes, in a relationship we all try to comfort our partners but that too should be to a certain extent. And, in that process, if your mental health is being compromised, I don't see how it's a healthy relationship.

I don't want to tell you what to do, but I would reassure you that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. You don't need to prove yourself anymore. And I can also assure you that no matter what you do, he will still manage to find some flaws and doubt you. It's a typical behavior we see in some partners. You deserve peace, love, and above all, to be trusted.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

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